If It's This Much

-----Yui's POV

Kaede: "If... If you want me to go... Then just say the word. I'll never bother you again."

Yui: "..."

I know being silent like this is only causing more pain for Kaede, but I still can't believe what I just saw. I didn't get a good look, but wings definitely grew out of her back just now, which explains the holes in her uniform. Aki joked about Kaede not being human, but now that I'm sitting here, taking in this sight before me... I just-

Just then, Kaede stands up before turning to face the door.

Kaede: "Goodbye."

Having her face away from me somehow gave me to courage to finally move as I leap forward to those words. Goodbye? What does she mean by that? As in I'll no longer see her? I might not know what I'm getting myself into, but Kaede's still Kaede... So-

Kaede: "What?"

I end up wrapping my arms around her from behind before she could take another step. I know now how fast she can be, but thankfully she gave me this chance.

Kaede: "Yui?"

Yui: "Don't go."

I finally say the words I wanted to say as I tighten my grasp around her, burying my face behind the side of her neck. Wait, has she grown?

Kaede: "But I'm a monster. You saw, right? I don't belong here."

Yui: "...And like I said that day. That day when you- kissed me... You're not a monster."

Kaede: "...That wasn't me."

Yui: "What do you mean?"

Kaede: "Before the accident. I felt like I was trapped. It was only when I woke up in that hospital did I finally find myself again. If it was the me right now, I wouldn't have done that."

For some reason, I can't seem to believe her words. Ever since meeting Kaede, she was such a bright kid, immediately catching my eyes on the train tracks, and she only shined more as I got to know her. But over time, I noticed Kaede changing ever so slightly. I think back to when she stayed the night. It all happened so fast that it took me a second to realized that she had pinned me down on my back. At the time, the expression on her face... It was totally different to what I was used to seeing. Ah~ I think I get it. These visions of hers...

Yui: "Lies."

Kaede: "..."

Yui: "It was you who wanted to be close to me, right? Not the Kaede from before, but the Kaede in my arms right now."

Kaede: "...Wrong."

Yui: "Am I?"

Kaede: "It was my memories. At the time, I couldn't make sense on why I did what I did."

Yui: "Memories of what? Where I apparently sliced my neck?"

Kaede: "...Yeah."

I was meaning to ask more about it but could never find the right opportunity to. Maybe now's the time?

Yui: "Tell me more about them."

Kaede: "Th-that's... Too embarrassing..."

Embarrassing enough to make you blush? I can't help but hide the smile that's growing on my face behind Kaede.

Yui: "But they involve me, right? Don't you think I deserve to know?"

Kaede: "..."

Just as I was about to speak up again, Kaede hangs her head down a bit, as if in defeat.

Kaede: "It's too long."

Yui: "It's okay. We have time."

Kaede: "...You won't even believe me if I tell you."

Yui: "You think? Even after what you showed me?"

Kaede: "Hehe. I guess..."

Hearing her chuckle was enough for me to finally loosen my grasp around her as she immediately turned to face me. Her beautiful, scarlet red eyes looking straight into my eyes.

Kaede: "You know when you asked about my lover? Back when we were sitting by the riverbank?"

Yui: "Yeah?"

Kaede: "...To make a long story short... My lover was actually you, Yui."

Yui: "..."

Wait, what?! How? Me?

Kaede: "I think you joked about me seeing the future one time, right? Well, you weren't wrong. I remember us beginning to start our lives together after graduating from high school. But that future wouldn't come to pass."

Yui: "What do you mean?"

Kaede: "We died."

What? The words that she's saying is crazy, it's sounds like some sort of messed up joke, yet the determined look on her face tells me otherwise, keeping me from speaking up.

Kaede: "But miraculously, we were reborn in another world."

Yui: "Wait, you're talking about those fantasy novels?"

Kaede: "Yes. Exactly like that."

Yui: "..."

Kaede: "But it wasn't like any of those fantasy novels. Well, maybe for you. You grew up in a nice household, with a family. But I wasn't so lucky. Fufu. Actually, I shouldn't be saying that now. You're wondering what I am exactly, right?"

Yui: "You're not an angel, right?"

Kaede: "No. Unlike you, who was reborn as a completely new being. I was instead thrown into an already existing body. Although I'm not entirely sure as to why my body here is beginning to resemble my body there."

Yui: "What?"

Kaede: "I'll explain later. But anyways... Simply put, I woke up in that world as a vampire."

.....

...

We ended up moving back to the bed as we both sat next to each other. Kaede ended up telling me the story of this fantasy world and her life growing up in it. I found it hard to ask many questions as I was drawn in to what she was saying, even the smallest of details. How she was constantly searching for me while I was apparently living life as normal. Honestly, I don't blame her that she thinks of herself as a monster after hearing how she grew up. But when she talks about people like, Fleur, Faye and Mell, I notice her a soft smile appear on her face, however, her eyes are far from happy.

Kaede: "There's a lot more, but I think I've been talking long enough."

Yui: "..."

Kaede: "I know it's a lot to take in."

Yui: "Y-yeah..."

Kaede: "It's okay if you don't believe me."

Yui: "No, I do! I just wish that I could share those memories with you as well."

It honestly bugs me to hear Kaede talking about all these memories we shared together that I can't seem to remember. But the fact that I was actually her lover in that timeline makes me incredibly happy.

Kaede: "Well, actually there might be a way."

Yui: "Eh?"

Kaede: "I didn't bring her name up, but her name is Mai. She was the reason why all of this happened to begin with. You see, she's one of the beings that governs all of these worlds. And the world we were reborn into is the one that she is in control of."

Yui: "Like a god?"

Kaede: "No, but I guess something like that. You see, at some point, she managed to come down to the world, using the link she shared with me as some sort of gateway."

Yui: "Wait, so then she can come here?"

Kaede: "I don't think so. But apparently she's still linked with Selene as well, so she can use her to appear in their world."

Yui: "Selene?"

Kaede: "The person that I took over when I died."

This is so much info that it's honestly hard to keep up. Right, right, Kaede was reborn as a vampire, and... Yeah, I'm struggling to remember, haha.

Kaede: "Fufu. Well anyways, Mai can supposedly recover lost memories in that world. So I was wondering if it's possible to restore your memories if we somehow get over there, into that world."

Yui: "You mean like, dying?"

The thought of dying just to get to that world sounds far too scary. Plus I'd be leaving everything I know here behind... Especially my parents.

Kaede: "No. I'll find another way."

Yui: "Hmmm."

Kaede: "Hehe. Sorry for rambling."

Yui: "You're fine. I'm just still trying to process everything."

Kaede: "You can ask any questions you like. But I ask you to please keep everything I just said to you a secret... Including that I'm a vampire."

Yui: "Mm. Of course."

Kaede: "...Thank you."

For Kaede to open up to me about all of this... It's overwhelming for sure, but I find it impossible not to smile. Even though I'm not the same person she loves, she still trusts me enough to say all of this.

Yui: "Wait!"

Kaede: "Huh?"

Yui: "You talked about how you drank my blood, right? So then aren't you like hungry or something?"

Kaede: "...Pfft."

Yui: "Hey, I'm serious!"

Kaede: "Don't worry. I actually found a way around that just recently."

Yui: "Then why were you laughing?"

Kaede: "'Cause you reminded me of the Yui I know."

Yui: "..."

So she's saying that the me in that world is similar to the me now?

Yui: "Hey."

Kaede: "Yeah?"

Yui: "You think, uhm..."

Kaede: "Hmm?"

Yui: "N-nevermind!"

Oh god, what was I just about to say! There's no way I'm going to ask that from her! It's clear now why she was trying to distance herself from me until now. She's probably hurting every time she looks at me, knowing that I'm not the Yui she loves. But... Even still.

I find myself placing a hand over the top of Kaede's as we sit on the side of the bed. Her hand's a lot colder than mine which honestly feels nice as it helps cool my body. Yeah... I won't push anything onto her. I'm happy if it's this much.

Yui: "Wait. But isn't your mom wanting to talk with you today?"

Kaede: "I honestly can't see her as my mom. Not as much as Fleur."

Yui: "But still. The letter she left-"

Kaede: "Fufu. You just trying to get me out of here? Hehe."

Yui: "N-not at all. I was just a little worried is all."

I know she's just teasing me, but I still disagree with her disregarding her mother in this world.

Yui: "If you like, I can come with you?"

Kaede: "Hahh~ You seriously want me to talk with her?"

Yui: "Yes."

Kaede: "...Jeez. Alright. I was planning on asking if I can stay the night at your place tonight anyways."

Yui: "Huh?"

Kaede: "Fufu. May as well kill two birds with one stone."

Yui: "Wait. You want to stay the night?!"

Kaede: "Mhmm! Or is that a no?"

She takes the opportunity to turn things around, namely our hands as now she's the one holding onto mine. And with her upturned eyes gazing directly into mine, how the hell am I suppose to turn her down? I know she's doing it on purpose, but seriously...

Yui: "...I'll ask my parents when they're back."

Kaede: "Fufufu."

I begin to recall our last sleepover as we continue to hold hands on the bed. I doubt that Kaede will try anything, but I'd be lying if I said that a large part of me wants her to...