Chap 17.1: The road to your vulnerable self

"Look, the moment of our triumphant win was captured!" Ivy declared as they finished watching the video. "Yikes, send it to me. Send it to me. I must have this and keep it for life." Andrew took her phone and wanted to send it to himself.

"Chill, chill I will send now." Ivy took her phone back.

"Who recorded it?" Sandra asked curiously. "Oh, erm…" Ivy hesitated to reveal Jason to them as they would try to pry more about things she preferred to keep in private.

"Must be that ten pound twig you scolded that day right? Is he your boss? What is a boss doing coming to their employee's house on a weekend and even capturing a video of the employee during non office hours?" Andrew asked with a joking tone while putting both his arms on his waist. Ivy laughed loudly at Andrew's actions while Sandra couldn't help but to giggle.

"How did you end up working for someone you hold a grudge with Ivy?" Sandra teased.

"He came to the house to ask if I had agreed to his internship offer and he recorded this while he was on business with the college. It was just all a coincidence." Ivy quickly hushed their suspicions as she watched Sandra's expression change becoming more tense the moment she saw Lance, Laura and Belinda were approaching them in the lecture hall.

"Yo, Ivy…" Laura greeted first this time as Ivy sat up straight while Andrew and Sandra sat closer to Ivy. "What's up?" Ivy looked away from them as she waited for an answer she expected.

"Lance's birthday is coming up. You know what to do. The usual…" Laura kept her request short as though she was forced to speak with Ivy after she overheard Lance's confession that night. Laura indeed was forced to speak with her and was still jealous about Lance's confession which she overheard but she forced herself to put that aside because she needed more cash to throw a lavish party for Lance in hope of winning his love for once.

"Same rules as before. Invite us or else …" Ivy retorted as she could tell Laura was getting agitated but Lance was holding her from behind.

"Fine." She snarled as she walked away with Lance who looked even more guilty than the last time Ivy ever saw him. Belinda, this time stood far away as though she didn't even want to mingle with Ivy anymore.

"Who do they think they are? Seriously, this is so absurd!" Andrew was pounding on the table in anger. "Chill it! Not the first time. Besides, there wouldn't be many chances left and since I have been doing my internship on a part time basis so there's no need to worry about the money." Ivy forced herself to explain cheerfully although she felt upset at the way the trio treated her after all that she had gone through with them.

"So, you have been busy working because of their birthday parties after all?" Sandra questioned her sheepishly.

"No… not really. I shall stress again and again. I have been working to decide on my next faculty and to gain relevant experience to help with my accounting which I took as an extra subject." Ivy said with a strong conviction.

"Wait, wait… let me guess… Is that ten pound twig interested in you?" Andrew teased while their science lecturer walked in and everyone hurriedly settled down.

Ivy snarled at him which made all of them giggle at Andrew's tease. Ivy was too distracted all along with her exams preparation and coping with her sleep disorders to think about the possibility of that to happen as she shrugged it off knowing it was impossible.

After lectures, Ivy was so tired from an entire afternoon of lecture that all she wanted was a nice dinner. She lamented at the fact that Andrew and Sandra already had dinner plans with their respective families that they went off separately after the lecture.

Her mind was drawn back to Sandra and Andrew, nagging her about her fake trio of friends. Deep in her thoughts, she didn't realise she had driven to Jason's place. She sighed at her absentminded self while she alighted and decided to visit Lucky for awhile. She sat with Lucky by the balcony enjoying the gentle evening breeze as she sighed at her efforts of trying to salvage her nearly broken friendship with Lance, Laura and Belinda.

Jason stepped into the balcony area after seeing her car parked at his garage when he arrived home. He was surprised to find her on a non-tutor day in his house and knew something must have happened.

"Hey, didn't expect to see you here today?" He greeted while disrupting her thoughts.

"Oh, hey! Sorry, I was just thinking of taking my mind off things by visiting him." She pointed at Lucky as she hugged Lucky closer.

"It's alright." He sat next to her on the same bench. "Come, spill the beans. What's up?" She laughed a little at his sudden playful self asking her in a comical tone. Her hesitation was then pushed away by her thoughts of him being a great companion and listener lately that she was willing to open up a little.

"I used to have this trio of friends who were nice and caring during our kindergarten days but puberty hit in and somehow impaired our friendship. Well… one of them was the guy who confessed to me that night." She explained as Jason interrupted. "Lance, was it?"

"Oh you remembered. Well yes and the other two girls are... one obviously knows the guy had feelings for me but she liked him so she hates me." Ivy continued to explain but ended up mumbling the last line to herself. "How is this my fault really?"

"Ahhh… Laura was it?" Jason heard her mumble but pretended not to as he tried recalling their names while Ivy patted his head and nodded in agreement.

"The other one, Belinda. She became stuck up when her parents divorced, probably seeking attention." Ivy spoke without trying to filter her thoughts as Jason shifted closer to her.

"Let me guess… they tried to pick on you today?" Jason asked as Ivy shook her head.

"Not really… I mean not just today. Well, they have been picking on me ever since their puberty years. They don't do it very obviously. I am enduring it only because I don't want them to harm my two close friends, Andrew and Sandra whom they discriminated against for being poor." Ivy explained as Jason reacted as though he was in disbelief but it was a little exaggerated.

"Stop it. You're so funny, Jason." Ivy laughed. Jason noted in mind that she mentioned discrimination of wealth which made him curious if there were anything related to her father.

"Then why aren't they discriminating against you? Aren't you equally… poor?" Jason questioned. Ivy was hesitating to tell for a moment as she was afraid of telling him too much but thought no harm of just telling on the surface details. "My grandma left me some fortune… you know the spicy noodles franchise…" Ivy shrugged as Jason nodded. It calmed his nervous mind thinking Ivy might have known about her father and his fortune but turned out it was her grandma's.

"Well, I am sure you know well enough what is right and wrong. So, you should know what to do?" Jason exclaimed as he was trying to understand her point.

"I guess so… I hope I am doing the right thing too. The thing is whenever either one of those three birthdays are close they would ask me to chip in to their expenses and mind you their parties are luxurious. They never invited Andrew and Sandra but since I know it's going to be their last year studying here, I made them invite Andrew and Sandra to two parties now." Ivy explained as she showed him two fingers. "Guess that just made them hate me more…" Ivy mumbled to herself again and Jason heard it but stayed silent.

"I am sure one last one is coming up. And thanks to your part time job's pay, I don't have to worry about finances ever again. How much can a student spend on birthday parties right?" Ivy said in a more relaxing manner as Jason finally figured out the need for her part-time job.

"You're such a silly girl." He said as he messed up her hair she smacked his hand. "Stop it!" She giggled as he stood and ran downstairs to the kitchen while she chased him.

"Why don't you stay for dinner? I will cook?" He offered as she nodded. "I will help!" She offered as she went to prepare the chopping board.

When Ivy went in for her next internship session on Thursday, Jason's accountant, Ann, was beginning to let Ivy take on more important tasks such as passing journals into the accounting system. Because of the efforts she put into study for accounts, Ivy was beginning to get her basics right so she decided to attempt the accounting exam at the end of the following week with confidence.

She hoped not to fail any subjects this time round while she drove to Lance's birthday party right after her last paper. When she arrived, Andrew and Sandra were already seated inside separately from the trio who were snapping pictures among themselves as usual. She sighed at the sight when she entered the private room and made eye contact with Lance who was half delighted but seemed to succumb to peer pressure that he suppressed his happiness and looked guilty. The girls this time didn't bother to even greet her as she walked over to Andrew and Sandra who were deep in conversation. She knew they could be discussing psychology topics again which always intrigued her.

"... a place where you could be in vividly and you control every element of it." Andrew explained to Sandra while Ivy grabbed a bottle of cider and sat opposite the both of them acting as though she was listening intensely at them which amused the both of them.

"Ivy!" Andrew and Sandra greeted each Ivy in unison. "When did you arrive? We didn't even know!" Andrew exclaimed.

"Just awhile ago… Go on.. Your topic seems very interesting this time.. What vivid stuff which you control every element of?" Ivy asked curiously while she helped herself to some mixed nuts.

"Imaginary world…" Sandra explained while she picked some mixed nuts to nibble on too.

"Imaginary world? Oh…" Ivy wondered if her dreams were a part of this. "Tell me more about it… What is it about?" Ivy pestered while Andrew and Sandra helped themselves to some macaroons.

"In psychology they have another term called paracosm. It's basically an imaginary world someone creates and could live in it." Andrew explained. "How?" Ivy asked.

"You could imagine it in the real world like now in daylight or in your dreams. Basically, it's pure imagination. Anytime, anywhere type. Well, in some cases imaginary friends are also considered part of it. You control everything from how the world is or who could be in it. The best part is, it doesn't have to be logical." Sandra explained further.

"Yep, most studies show people who have this world tend to lack something in real life. The development of this imaginary world is solely depending on the creator themselves." Andrew said while sipping his cider.

"Can anyone just create one?" Ivy asked. "Having fantasies is common these days isn't it? Reality most of the time isn't smooth as planned…" Sandra's remark somehow made everyone turn their heads to take a look at the trio who were still oblivious of their presence. It was beginning to upset Ivy who was enduring it since she had paid quite a big sum this time and it would always be a waste to not enjoy the food and drinks she had paid for.

"In the paracosm, it's purely created based on the person's imagination. For some, it could also occur from the person's young age. Guess I didn't keep mine till now…" Andrew shrugged as Ivy wondered if her so-called nightmares were these.

"What are the after effects?" Ivy asked again as she twirled her bottle of cider. "It depends on what the imaginary world was created on. If it's bad then it best to abandon it before it could affect the person emotionally but if it's a good one then the person could keep it and develop for the benefit of their own mental health." Andrew explained before popping some tarts into his mouth.

"You're so interested in this? Are you having any weird dreams again lately?" Sandra asked suspiciously while pointing at Ivy.

Ivy suddenly became conscious about her curiosity which was made obvious as she took a macaroon and ate it as an excuse from being unable to reply with a mouth full while she shook her head in reply.

"You better be telling the truth. If you ever still have those weird dreams, I will come and sleep with you every night." Sandra warned while she took a sip of her cider.

Ivy choked on the last part of her sentence before drinking some cider. "You… don't have to… Please don't..." Ivy forcefully said in between her coughs to clear her throat while they laughed as they all knew Sandra's bad sleeping habits could make the person sleeping next to her fall off the bed the next morning.

"Are we done? Shall we just leave? They don't seem to care about us anymore… The last birthday party I forbid you from paying. No point." Sandra grumbled as Ivy hushed her and quickly led her out of the private room with Andrew.

As she dropped Andrew and Sandra each to their own house, in a moment of solitude, she realised she was not really in a good mood to step home. She was rather upset and sad as she slowly drove herself to Jason's house for her tutor session since it was a Friday.