Chap 17.2: The road to your vulnerable self

She received a text message from Lance which thanked her for coming. She could sense a thousand unspoken words from Lance just from a simple text message but she knew she should stay away from the trio sooner the better. She quickly replied with a formal you're welcome message before alighting to meet Lucky and Jason. Just the thought of them both had delighted her gloomy mood as she looked forward to more fun time with them with a grateful heart.

Her mood was instantly lifted the moment she saw Lucky and played with him without noticing Jason's whereabouts in the house till she heard his electric guitar strums. She then remembered he had a band competition tomorrow as she ran upstairs and decided to help him practice. This time, she played on the drums after listening once to his guitar tune. Jason was very impressed at her drumming skills compared to her piano as he gave her a round of applause while she bowed to play along.

"It's a sad song isn't it?" Sandra asked as they rested by the piano bench with Lucky on her lap.

Jason gave it a thought. The lyrics sang happy and contented words. The tune was haunting but lively because he wrote it to be that way in the first place. The memories brought him back to the purpose he wrote the song.

"You're right. How did you know?" He could not hide being surprised at her precise depiction of the song's hidden meaning.

"The tune gave it away. Its' lingering, awry darkness hovered by soft but yet lively guitar combination. It wasn't enough to hide the deep sadness and disappointment. Although the lyrics were well written in such a way that the positivity was probably hiding the truth that the person has moved on. Probably was in the midst of letting go of a toxic relationship." She stared at him, half waiting for an explanation but half did not want to intrude on his privacy considering the brief time they knew each other.

"It's absolutely a good piece. I am sure your band will win it." She smiled staring back at the walls as she softly hummed the tune of the song.

He thought to himself about Nancy, his ex girlfriend again. The inspiration for composing the tune came from her, who is the band's lead singer but she will never know. Lately, he noticed he was struck by a bittersweet moment lately too many times whenever he was with Ivy as he thought to himself about Ivy, someone who heard the song very little times but could figure out the hidden meaning of it when the person whom the song was written for, had been oblivious about it all along.

"Thank you. Come and watch us tomorrow." He said gently as though someone had pry open a long knitted wound away, bringing out his vulnerable self.

She was taken aback by this part of him she had never seen as she nodded with a smile. She knew what she said could have stirred old wounds or memories in him and although she was dying to fill her curiosity if there was a hidden story behind the song, she respected that the fact he didn't explain, it meant it wasn't time to pry further into his personal life either.

Her yawn made her sleepy as she put aside her plans to have a tutor session with him. After all, she had just finished her monthly exams today and a short break would be great. She stood to head to the guest room without Lucky. She carried Lucky and put him onto Jason's lap for him to cuddle. "I will call it a night. Thanks for letting me join in. Goodnight, Jason."

He was zoning out for a moment as he nodded when he realised Lucky was on his lap. He continued to drown himself in his past memories with Lucky falling asleep on his lap while he patted him.

A soothing tune was serenading the dog kingdom as Ivy stepped into the purple iris plains when she opened her eyes after heading to bed. She recognised the lovely tune when Phoenix pledged his freedom to her and was searching for Phoenix instead of her grandma. She could see a harp at the far end as she skipped over. The sight of the golden harp was getting more vibrant but she could make out not just one unfamiliar shadow but a few of them surrounding the harp.

She halted half way as she turned around to look for her grandma's cottage but it was nowhere to be found. "Ivy…" An echo was heard and she knew it was Phoenix.

"Phoenix…" She whispered as she looked towards the harp's direction but instead the echo was from the opposite direction.

"Come over here..." She was glad at his urge as she ran faster to catch the sight of everything she wanted to see in the opposite direction; her kingdom of dogs and puppies surrounded Phoenix and her grandma's cottage which made her mind wander to grandma who was still resting in seclusion. Ivy had longed for such a sight every day she returned home as she ran to claim her long awaited embrace from Phoenix although she wished it was her grandma.

"Phoenix!" Ivy closed her eyes to feel the warmth of his embrace and forced herself to remember it for a long time and never to forget how it felt. "Easy princess… Your injury hasn't fully recovered." Phoenix reminded her of her poisoned self by the serpents as she let go of him.

"Princess…" Phoenix echoed as he let his harp play on its own. "Ivy... Just call me Ivy." Ivy smiled sweetly at the mesmerising sight of him. Phoenix hesitated to call her by name but mustered up the courage to do so. "Ivy, would you like to come with me on a walk?" He asked as he held out his hand. Ivy grabbed it as he led the way to the overhanging cliff.

"Are you alright? Did you get enough venom for your portion? What were the missing ingredients?" Ivy asked as she recalled the incident from the last dream. Phoenix sensed her anxiety as he stopped walking and turned to face her. His eyes were fixated at her injury which Ivy then realised had a scar on her right palm which had recovered but her body was weak from the poisoning previously.

"We are almost close… But I don't intend to fight the serpents anytime soon. Not until you're stronger." He explained as Ivy held his hands.

"Don't worry about me. I will heal in no time. You should harvest more of these serpents' venom whenever they appear since they only produced very little but are of great use." Ivy urged as she watched Phoenix's charming eyes look sad today.

Phoenix had recalled bits and pieces of his memories when he sucked the venom out from Ivy's injury to save her and downed the bottle portion. He recalled his mission of being assigned to wipe out the kingdom of dogs instructed by his mother, the queen of his kingdom and not the king, but he couldn't remember how he ended up forgetting about his mission the moment he found himself awake in the kingdom. He decided not to tell Ivy about his memory recovery as he didn't want to upset her.

"Don't you worry, Ivy. I will always protect you and the kingdom." Phoenix gently pulled her in for an embrace. "Phoenix, the embers on the ground… do you perish every time you turn into your mystical self?" Ivy asked as she stood in his embrace listening to his heartbeat.

"Yes…" He echoed. "Then, how do you get back to your human form?" Ivy asked as she looked up at him.

"A phoenix perished into the ember and rose to be reborn again from the ember, Ivy." Phoenix echoed as Ivy recalled she had read about it before. "Hence, the reason for having the ember dance…" She mumbled to herself as Phoenix nodded while they oversaw the aurora lit sky.

"Phoenix, aren't you worried about the other two ingredients?" Ivy pestered again. "Princess, I already found them." He echoed.

"What are they?" Ivy looked up at him. "The roots of the irises and your…" Phoenix hesitated for a moment as he looked away. "What is it?" Ivy pestered impatiently but instead all that she saw in front of her was blurring. She heard squeals from her younger self calling out to her mother while she felt herself falling off from a high area. She could see a long hair figure in front of her while falling off in the mid air.

"…your blood." In the midst of the chaotic squeals, she heard Phoenix's answer while she fell off the high area which sent chills down Ivy's spine as she continued to hear the deafening squeals of younger self calling out to her mother desperately.

Ivy woke to find herself staring right into the eyes of a floating figure with long wavy hair up in the ceiling. She couldn't move herself as she panicked and squealed, soon, letting her tears of terror flow freely on their own. Jason who was about to head into his room after a long time pondering on their conversation which brought back lots of memories, heard her squeals in the nick of time as he entered her room to check on her. "Ivy?"

He saw the faint shimmering hues of pink from her bracelet as her squeals grew loud. He walked closer to her and realised she couldn't move. "Ivy! Are you alright?" He rushed to pull her up from bed and shook her but she kept squealing and had a hard time breathing.

"Ivy! Ivy, breath!" He screamed as Lucky hopped onto bed to be by her side. Jason's first instinct was to pinch her cheeks to get her reaction but their bracelets were attracted to each other again. He noticed both of their bracelets were glowing in their own respective color; hers in hues of pink while his in hues of green.

He had to use his left hand to pinch her cheeks instead. She felt the first shot of pain hit her cheeks as her hands muscles instantly smacked his hand away in pain before she forcefully ran out of bed to the side of the room and stood under the moonlight shining in the window to catch her breath. The force was strong enough to unattached their bracelets from each other that it left some scratches on Jason's wrist which went unnoticed as he was very worried about Ivy.

Her nightmares were overwhelming for her this time as she wondered what had triggered it considering she had nights of peaceful sleep lately. Jason rushed over to her side as she held on tightly to the window pane while catching her breath.

"I'm sorry… That must have hurt you. I'm sorry." He tried hard to apologise as he shifted her to face him when he noticed she was quietly sobbing with her eyes closed. Ivy was shaken that her dreams were beginning to frighten her when the deafening squeals felt so surreal. She wondered why she was calling her mother that way as though she was begging her to save her life but was ignored. She couldn't explain how she was so affected by the feeling of being unwanted and left in the cold being hopeless. Deep in her thoughts and wonders, she didn't realise she was sobbing in Jason's arms as they sat on the ground illuminated by the moonlight. His gentle pat on her shoulders was the only assurance she could let her guards down and seek refuge from it. Lucky sat by their side as though he knew the troubles of Ivy.

"Ivy… could you tell me what's going on? Is this sleep disorder something to do with you grieving over your grandma passing?" Jason asked when she calmed down after a while but realised he had asked a very personal question. Ivy shifted in his arms to sit up but he quickly held her back into his embrace.

"Stay. It's alright. It would be more comfortable to at least let me know what's going on." He explained as he waited while Lucky crawled in between them and fitted in just nicely as Ivy cuddled him and giggled a little at his ticklish fur. Jason was glad to have Lucky at that point of time helping to ease their tense moment.

"I always had strange dreams from when I was young that I had always slept with my grandma… Most of the time, I would wake up and cry my lungs away. When I was a teenager, I grew to not keep my grandma worried so I slept alone. I would wake up in tears and sometimes I cannot move for a while staring back at creepy long hair figures or eerie serpents... I have gotten used to them but I have never hurt myself in my dream other than that one time..." Ivy slowly explained while Jason patted her.

"Ivy… you need to seek medical help." Jason gently said.

"It's useless for sure… they would say it's depression and prescribe packages of antidepressant medicines but that's not my case. These dreams are so vivid that I live in them. I could even hear my desperate squeals for my mother to rescue me but was left not responded which was so surreal... I couldn't explain why…" Her voice cracked for a moment as Jason tightened his embrace. "It's alright… It's alright" He wiped her tears away from her cheeks.

"...I couldn't explain why the warm embrace I felt from my grandma in my dreams seem so surreal every time that I always long for her to hold me in my dreams longer…" Jason rocked her a little as she sobbed again while Lucky tried to lick her to comfort her.

"Ivy… from now on, you have me." He held her right palm. "I will hold your hand to sleep and leave only when you're deep asleep. Lucky would guard by your side every night too. On days you're not sleeping here, you could bring Lucky to accompany you…" Jason offered as she eased further into Lucky's fur for comfort and he understood it was her way of agreeing. He continued to comfort her till she fell asleep and tucked her into bed, holding on to her hand while Lucky slept in bed with her.

He wondered if he should start to tell her father that he had found her to escalate their business dealings and at least, he could give her the family she deserved. However, a part of him was worried she might misunderstand him. He hoped for her to have a family while he got his business deals but he also wanted their friendship to last. He pondered on ways he could do so while he fell asleep by the side of her bed.