Chapter 3

The next year came by and things were getting better day by day. Soon, I got to feel what it felt like to have a crush for the first time I still remember the feeling of butterflies flying around inside me my crush was Nitin he was also my boyfriend. We both had crushes on each other and eventually by July we started dating. thought of my forever with him. we both were very shy at first but opened up. even though it was my first relationship, I don't have many memories of it. we both were too different from each other; he was also a year older and our mindsets never matched. my point of view was always different from his I was also young and idiotic t that time. we just lost interest in each other and started moving away from each other. Soon we stop talking altogether, and by September's end, we broke up, I thought my first heartbreak but I even didn't shed a tear. it was like nothing changed, so we both started to focus on other things. a few more months passed by. I know you might feel that I rushed into another relationship pretty fast and there were no feelings left

It was November, and that is when I fell in love for the first time. His name is Arjun, he is a year older than me also. There is still a corner of my heart that is his. I didn't mean for now, or until I found somebody else, I meant forever. I mean to say that whether I fall in love a thousand times over or once or never again, there'll always be a small quiet place in my heart that belongs only to him. I was a smart, bubbly and cute little teenager, who enjoyed life and was living life to the fullest when suddenly life changed for me. I had set my eyes on him the first time when he had come to the colony park and he was chatting with his friends. I found him so handsome, his curly, dark brown hair and large dark brown eyes! I was floored! Though now when I look back, I laugh it off as mere infatuation, I don't know why I felt an instant connection with him, when he looked into my eyes, my heart fluttered and I used to feel so nervous and excited at the same time.

You won't believe it, but I never spoke to him, but still, I felt a strong connection to him, he was so handsome and so good looking, that whenever I used to look at him I could not stop myself from staring at him and he hardly bothered to even turn around and look at me. For him I was insignificant as I was much smaller than him, therefore he hardly even tried to take any interest in me. Each day when I used to go to the park I used to do up my hair differently and wear my best dresses to look nice lest he spots me there, but every day he used to be so engrossed in chatting and playing with his friends that he hardly took notice of me. I was so mad after him that I used to stand on the balcony for hours on end, just to get a glimpse of him and sometimes I used to keep peeping out of the window so that I could see him playing in the park, but I would spot him only a few times, rest of the times I would just sadly retreat to my studies or doing some other work.

As days passed things remained the same when slowly and gradually, he started noticing that I stare at him all the time, when I am around him, in the park or any shop nearby. Once I remember I was standing in the neighbourhood Bakery and he suddenly walked in with his friends, probably to buy something. I turned around and as usual, started staring at him and he was standing opposite me when suddenly a lot of people came in between us and it was a funny situation and I could see just one half of his face and I caught him staring at me with one eye! I was shocked as it was so sudden and the depth with which he was staring at me cannot be explained in words. There was admiration and tender love in them! I then left the Bakery feeling very shy and till now I cannot forget that look of his in the Bakery.

Another time I felt very shy was when we both passed each other when I was coming back from school. We were walking on the side of the road and he suddenly saw me walking down the road, swaying my bag along my side. He was chatting with his friend and when I passed him, I stopped swaying my bag and I quietly tried to pass him and then he turned around and looked fondly at me! I walked away feeling shy and embarrassed at the same time. Anytime I came in direct contact with him and whenever he looked at me I always felt a soft tenderness in his eyes and the warmth of his heart touched me deep inside. This boy was very tall and fair and had the loveliest hair and whenever I looked at him I went weak in my knees. I used to dream of him being near me and talking to me and spending time with each other, but I could never muster enough courage to ever stand in front of him and talk to him. I was too small and too naive to even think of it! Things went on in this way for a few months and nothing happened till one fine day when he smiled at me! Just imagine my prince charming smiled at me, finally, he took notice of me, and I must tell you, it was the most beautiful smile I had ever seen!

I was coming back from school one evening and he was sitting on his bike and waiting for his friend. He saw me coming and when I passed him he did not do anything, but when I went a little further and turned around as I heard some noise behind me and I looked at him, he smiled at me, I was too shocked to respond in any way. I turned around and went to my home. I did not know what to do, but I was mesmerised by his first smile. It was so sudden that I was at a loss for words as to what should my next step be, but fate had other plans for me. Just imagine my bad luck, that when I could think of having a relationship with him, as he had finally acknowledged my presence and smiled at me, I had to go, I had to leave the neighbourhood for good! But he asked me out on a date before I left and soon started dating.

My first love felt like speaking a new language, one that only we knew. It took months for love to come — at first, it was a fling, never meant to be shared outside. But when school started back in January, we didn't part ways as we'd planned. Instead, we spent all our free time together, exploring the city and each other. He told me he loved me one night on his couch by tracing the letters on my palm. I guessed each letter as they wrote it, stringing them together to name the feeling we both shared And then it was paperclip rings, quiet moments at the beach, dramatic first kisses, and dancing. So much dancing. Like the electricity shit but not cringe. Like real and premature ventricular contractions, heart skipping beats. Like looking into someone's eyes and knowing that they aren't looking at you, they see you. Like they aren't hearing, they're listening. Where even the most ordinary moments feel extraordinary. It's like meeting someone's brain and, even if they're different, it just makes sense and it's magical. Just magic.

Somehow, we both knew our love wouldn't last forever, but it didn't stop us from revelling in the moment. We shared a beautiful, supportive, and thrilling love for three years before it dissolved. The end was painful and gut-wrenching, and now the language we wrote together is dead, but I still remember how to speak it.

Every love story always has a third person and in mine, it was Arjun's best friend, Roshni She soon became my best friend as well. At the same time, a new girl got transferred from Delhi, nobody wanted to talk to her as they said she had a bad attitude. But I strangely felt a strong connection between us, so I started to talk to her, found we had a lot in common and became best of friends. Her name was Zara, and we became inseparable.

The thing about my life, you see is that every time I started to open up and be happy, disaster struck. The same happened, one fine day, Roshni came up to me saying she had to talk to me and it was an emergency. She explained her feelings towards Arjun and how she feels he had the same feelings but didn't want to hurt me, so was not acting on them and all that crap. Me being a naive, sympathetic Little girl, I believed every word and decided against my wise decision, to break up with Arjun.

At the same, Zara started dating that fucking asshole, I didn't like him from the start, but she was head over heels for him. There was something wrong with him that I could never pinpoint. I was proved right at her cost. Only after 1 month of dating, things started to turn toxic in their relationship, I warned her to move away from him, but of course, she didn't listen. What became of their relationship left scars on everyone.