Chapter 8

After everything, I decided to move out of the situation. and maybe God was on my side. Rohan and uncle moved to Mumbai due to uncle's job. I was finally free from his honey trap. I started the next year with my entire family by my side. I still remember the laughter in the drawing room. But my Amma(grandmother) got diagnosed with colon cancer and had to get operated on. She had her operation in Feb, when she came out of the O.T., lying on the bed with I.V. drips and covered in bandages. I just wanted to cry because we were all unsure if she will recover or even survive. but I couldn't because Dad was already weak, so I had to be strong for him. I was very relieved when she woke up after 10 hours.

By the time she finished recovery and was able to come back home. The lockdown had already begun and we moved Amma (grandmother) out of the hospital and the next day, the lockdown started. Even after the whole ordeal, my family had a relatively happy lockdown. We got to spend a lot of time with each other. The board games, cards, and discussions on various topics from the national situation to neighbourhood gossip are the things I miss the most. I remember the small things which I missed out on due to our busy lives before the lockdown. Before the lockdown, Dad was in Dehradun while I and mom were in Jaipur, I had to become the backbone of the family as there were three old people in my house, Nani, Amma and Nanu, going to the hospital became a daily routine to me. But during the lockdown, all of us were together as a family after a year. I could take a rest after everything, but I didn't take a rest during the entirety of the operation and didn't sleep for days as sometimes Amma's drip needed to be changed in the middle of the night and also because she was in such a vulnerable state that somebody needed to keep an eye on her monitors at all time. After she recovered a little, somebody had to help her with all the tasks and Amma was the most comfortable with being there, so nobody else could stay in the hospital with her overnight. it was hard and exhausting not only physically but also mentally.

I was always honest with my parents but I think I was able to open up to them during this period and make them understand my points of view, ambition and logic. It wasn't hard, as they have also been open to change and have always trusted me to make my decision which may be right or wrong. During that time, I also was able to reflect on my emotions and mental state and was able to heal a little as I was fucked up pretty badly.