Chapter 9: First Embrace (18+)

"Wait! So like… How many times a day?" Yrelia nearly shouts, interrupting my answer to her previous question.

"Um… well it would depend." I reply with a shrug, "My Sangoma would always try to get us with five, although we'd sometimes have days with one or two more, and then we'd have days with less."

"Fuck. You didn't…" She waves at my lower sections, "run out of juice or whatever?"

"Not really? I mean sometimes, yeah. But they had potions and such that kept everything working."

"What about like… if you weren't in the mood–"

"Yrelia." Tasii interrupts quietly, then looks over her shoulder to me. "Sorry Ina, you don't have to answer any of these questions."

The sun was just beginning to disappear beneath the distant horizon as we trekked along the path. Jevita was in the front, leading the way with Lule and Kque. Tasii is close behind with me and Yrelia in the back.

"It's fine. It didn't matter." I quickly give her a smile in an attempt to show I'm not bothered, "It was… Our Sangoma taught us that it didn't matter. Our duty wasn't just to have sex, but to celebrate the impending motherhood. Our early training involved dancing and some performances. Not to really do them, but how to move and make sure the sex was as good as possible for the women."

I sigh, "I wasn't very good at that part, and I think my Sangoma tried to get me mostly women who felt more comfortable taking over. Sort of…" I turn to walk backwards for a few paces. A trick Kque showed me earlier to help change things up. "Like… Early on I tried to take pride in it all, my Sangoma always said she enjoyed how few problems I caused and I enjoyed feeling like her favorite. But that didn't last very long."

I pause, not really knowing how to explain it.

"It's hard to enjoy sex when you don't feel right with your body." Yrelia fills in for me. "That's why they had the baths. To make sure no one felt gross or dirty."

I turn back to face forward, "That… Yeah that sounds right. But like… I could eat and do art and all sorts of things without problems."

"Yeah but sex is like…" She rotates her hands absently, trying to find the words. "Honestly I'm surprised you were able to do any of it at all."

"Male parts are simpler." Jevita chimes in from the front. "It needs to be that way. Motherhood doesn't require pleasure for a woman. Theoretically a woman could be in absolute agony, or unconscious, and still get pregnant."

There is a long pause. I knew this, and was taught plenty about the details pretty early on. But I didn't really know. I hadn't really thought about having sex since… My thoughts wander back to yesterday's disaster. And yeah, I'm surprised I'd lasted this long in the conversation about that without going queasy.

"That's… I mean sure? Technically?" Yrelia replies, interrupting my thoughts. I glance over and notice her staring at me with a bit of worry. My expression must have been pretty grim.

I nod with a slight smile, trying to show that I was alright. "I'd been with women who didn't seem interested in me. Sometimes they'd bring a partner who would sort of… Distract them. I would try to just be a comfy piece of furniture. They just wanted me to finish so they could leave. I could tell they didn't cum or anything." I shrug, "Honestly, it was kinda nice. Meant a shorter day."

"Really? They waited years, paid a not insignificant amount, and didn't even want to try and enjoy the experience?" Tasii scoffs. "Seems wasteful."

"Sounds more like you were a Hetaera, just without the pay." Yrelia asks,

"So… more like an Odalisque?" Kque asks.

I recognize the Arudian words. Hetaera were revered performers, often weaving sex and dance and all kinds of art together to form amazing displays. The little I'd read on Odalisque was that they owed a debt to someone or to Arudia itself, and they chose to pay it off by offering to pleasure others. Did I owe a debt? Do I?

Uncomfortable with that thought I reply. "They paid for motherhood, not me."

The silence stretches longer this time. Trees have become more plentiful along the road at this point, and as the sun continues its descent I notice a bluish glow against the sky ahead.

Jevita and Kque have a muffled conversation, Tasii moves up to walk next to them and the three seem to be discussing our camping options. In the end they seem to settle on a spot in a little grove of trees.

It's another night under the stars. I share Yrelia's pallet again, and probably would have fallen asleep the moment my head hit the pillow if Yrelia didn't hesitate.

"Is this… am I taking up too much space?" I ask, worried.

"What?" Yrelia asks, a thought obviously interrupted. It takes her a second to process.

"Oh no! Ina, you're barely taking up, like, a fourth of this thing." She settles down on her side, facing me, and with about a foot between us. As she shuffles under the thick quilt she adds, "Feel free to roll on over here if you need more room, or need someone to snuggle to."

"Thanks. For everything. You've been really really nice, even before you knew about all of... well, this." I gesture vaguely.

I'm still surprised at how well they'd accepted everything. That there was even a word for people like me, even if most of them are men.

"Of course! I can only imagine how much you're still trying to figure this all out. Feel free to ask any questions, or talk to us about any issues." She locks her eyes to mine, "Or let me know if you want to try things out."

Things. She means sex things… Do I want to try things? Do I want Yrelia to… try things with me? I can feel the warmth spread across my face.

"I…" I try to reply, but still don't know what I want.

She blinks, but keeps her eyes locked on mine, a small smile beginning to quirk on her lips.

No one's ever looked at me like that. My mind seizes up as the warmth rolls down my body. I feel something flutter in my chest. As that heat settles between my legs I can't help but shift and squirm under her stare. I don't know what to do here. All those years feel absolutely meaningless. My body's reactions feel alien and new and weird and a little uncomfortable. Not like… uncomfortable with my own body, just with how my brain has no idea what it's doing!

It's been too long, but Yrelia just sits, waiting for me to answer. Her smile hasn't grown or lessened, but her eyes are searching now. Reading my little twitches and mini wiggles that I'm trying to hide. I do... Of fuck I do think I want this. But... Do I even know... like what this will entail?

"Things," I am barely able to whisper. "Doing things sounds nice."

I wince internally at how dumb that sounds.

But her smile turns into something mischievous. And she slides closer to me, and boops my nose with hers. "Oh Ina, I'm so tempted to ravish you tonight. But…" She sighs and blows a lock of hair off her face, "But we're camping in the woods and you'll be needing use of your legs tomorrow."

I… my legs? What would she–

Then she is moving to hover over me, legs at my side while she holds her upper body above mine. I twist and am on my back so I can look up at her. She hangs there, eyes and lips glittering against the starry night. That warmth swirls through me again, and I try not to move. Something must show on my face because she smiles and lowers her lips to mine.

And… Oh fuck. So, I've been kissed before, honestly way too many times. But they weren't real! and I wasn't… and she's very… Why is this so much better?!?

Her lips are a soft warmth against mine, breath laced with a sweet aroma that I don't recognize from our shared wine and fruits. She is slow and soft and… amazing at it.

Then her tongue begins to dance and tease, occasionally pressing to try and part mine. I wriggle beneath her, hips tight with anticipation as lighting runs down my body. One of her hands moves to caress and hold my face. I don't know what to do with my own, so I just grip the pallet beneath us.

She pauses, pulling back a few inches. My brain begins to reform some semblance of coherent thought as my heart pounds in my ears. I realize I've not really kissed her back, I was just so entranced by the entire thing. So in a second of courage I chase her up, trying to match the same gentle touch she gave me as our mouths meet.

She makes… a sound. Something I've not heard anyone make. It's a sort of purring rumble. A laugh mixed with… I don't know and don't have time to think about it as she presses me back down. I gasp at the sudden force, and then her tongue is between my lips and dancing on the tip of mine.

I try to keep pace with her, to match the rhythm of my lips and mouth to hers. I feel her move. Now she's atop me, and a leg is pressed between mine. Before I can think of pulling back, my mind remembering my old body and how a knee there could really hurt, her thigh is gently grinding against me. The feeling is… fuck. It's amazing. But also the fucking worst because it's not enough! Hard enough to stimulate things, but subtle enough to tease me into a sort of… aroused annoyance?

A little whine escapes between us. Only as her lips pull back to give us both room to breath, do I realize it came from me.

Leaning back in, she begins to trace a line of kisses and nibbles across my jaw. Another sound, similar to earlier but much deeper, rolls out from her. Then she's at my neck, and I can't help but let out something between a hushed whimper and a moan as she moves a hand down to my side and slides it beneath my manaka. I try to arch my hips to press into her thigh harder, but she keeps it back, not letting me.

Her lips are at my collarbone now, teeth grazing at my skin. My hands move up to my newly braided hair and I grip at some of the loose bundles. Needing something, anything, pull and squeeze at. There's too much pressure building up, burning and thrashing between my legs.

"Fuck." I moan as her hand drifts up to caress along the edges of one breast.

She traces its outline, drawing a slow circle until finally ending with her fingertips on one nipple. I squeeze her thigh between my legs. I arch my hips toward her, trying to find a way to tell her… something. To ask her to help me figure out how exactly to let it out.

"Please…" I give up and whisper. "Yrelia… I–"

I'm not sure how I was going to ask her. But at the sound of her name she moves. Quick but deft, she pushes my manaka up, revealing both my breasts to the open sky. Then she's kissing the one she was teasing at as that hand slides beneath my pants to the place between my legs.

I can feel how wet I've gotten as she presses fingers against my slit. She rumbles again in satisfaction and switches her mouth to my other breast, leaving the old slick with saliva and exposed to the chilly air.

Then she is tracing out slow circles against what must be my clit. Fuck… Everything. Fuck. That is so much more than her leg. The pressure between my legs gets way worse, But I don't want her to stop. It feels amazing. I must let out a moan, or something, because she moves everything faster. I let out a few more sounds as she surprises me with random changes and a few more pleading whimpers at her occasional torturous pauses.

The pressure builds and builds, until I can feel it begin to bubble over. Lightning moves across my body, causing little spasms. Yrelia moves from my chest back up to my face, her fingers accelerating as she touches her nose to mine.

"Ina, look at me." She demands softly.

I obey without thinking, our eyes meet, and everything inside me breaks. Legs clench together as fire erupts from between them. Yrelia's glittering eyes on mine make everything hit harder. For a few seconds I can't breathe, spasms and shutters wrack my body. Then her lips are on mine. Soft and gentle.

I… I come to love her in those moments. To love myself a little as well as she just presses herself back into me and showers my face with kisses.

It's the first time I don't want to rush away and hide after sex.

After what feels like forever, the warmth returns, low but still vibrant and demanding. I want to give her the same pleasure she's given me.

My hands move to touch her, resting on her cheek and neck. She slows her kisses, almost pauses even as I let my fingers wander. Through her soft hair, across her throat and collarbone. Brumbles flicker across her arms and shoulders as I trace nonsense patterns on her. I remember how amazing it felt when she did it to me. So I move one hand down to her hip and pause, not wanting to overstep.

She lets out a little murmur of pleasure, which I take as permission, and begin tracing my patterns up her body. Eventually both my hands are cupping her breasts, and I'm mimicking her earlier caresses, then I begin to add my own flourishes and designs.

Yrelia huffs. "Fuck it."

With that she rises to he knees, pulls her dress up over her head and tosses it away. I only get a second to take in her naked body. Where my form is wire thin and toned. Her's is thicker. More comfortable weight, but with plenty of strength mixed in.

I reach for her, placing my hand just beneath her sternum. She pauses before coming back down to me. I meet her halfway, pressing my lips onto the spot above my hand, then trail kisses over to one of her breasts. By the time her nipple is in my mouth I'm back down onto the pallet and Yrelia is pressing herself onto me.

She hums out something between a moan and a song as my tongue dances a nipple between my teeth. I feel her breath on my hair as she presses and slides her naked crotch against me. As I caress her hips and thighs, taking in her warmth and soft skin, I want more. I want to take her all in, I begin to feel a heat radiating from her and I want to taste it.

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to ask her if she's okay with this, if she would want this. So I just… try to slide down. Move carefully, but deliberately, hoping she understands. At first she seems a little confused, hesitant.

"Oh… OH!" She moves quickly then, and now she's kneeling over me. One knee on the ground, second up. The blanket is completely gone at this point, my chest and her entire body bare to the chilly night.

Then my mouth is buried into her. The flavor of her is… odd. At first it's salty, a bit bitter. My tongue plays at her clit between long licks that part her.

A quiet, "Fuck." rolls through her. Not audible unless you're watching her mouth or close enough to feel the murmur on her skin. Her grip on my hair tightens, and I feel her pull me just a little bit closer.

Then her taste changes. It's suddenly sweet and causes brumble flesh and shutters to run through me as it runs into my mouth. Then I'm pressing my tongue into her, and I'm using it's tip to touch and caress something inside while my lip and center tongue continue rubbing at her clit. She leans forward, a plea on her lips. To go faster, to go deeper. I can't not obey, the nectar coming from her is intoxicating.

It's the warmth I sensed earlier. And I want every drop.

Then she is shuddering and shaking, her legs weak as she leans over me. She tries to hug or hold my head, but It's hard since I've wrapped my arms around her hips and buried myself between her legs. She gives up and sort of collapses above and beside me.

I keep her legs spread, despite her occasional twitches that threaten to close her thighs around my head. When the eruption comes I'm ready, and do my best to consume all of it, drinking in as much of the fire that seems to have lived inside her.

Then it's over. I'm… what was that? I twist to look up, and find Yrelia breathing heavily. Her eyes are squeezed shut, jaw clenched. I grab our discarded blanket and crawl up next to her and pull it over both of us.

Was… Was that too much? Did I hurt her? I've never actually seen someone get like this. I bite my lower lip in worry, and realize the entire lower half of my face is covered with her. It tastes… It doesn't taste sweet anymore. The salty flavor is all that remains. As I pull the Manaka back down to cover my breasts I try to wipe some of the mess off with its sleeve as I settle down next to her.

I reach and push some hair from her eyes. She is drenched with sweat, despite the cold night. Before I can worry any more her eyes open to meet mine, and a groggy smile parts her lips. That glitter is still in her eyes.

Everything is okay. Better than okay. Is what her face shows me. I relax and shyly smile back. Then her arms are around me, and we fall into a deep sleep in each other's arms.