Chapter 30: Nightmares Outside Arudia Part 2

Three spikes of bloody bone erupt from our chest and impale the nightmare.

It jolts, tries to pull back, to push off us.

We're content to watch, grinning through blood and glorious pain.

"Should be careful who you try to eat." We purr at it.

It can't scream, just… begins to gnaw and jerk at the spears of bone woven from our ribs and sternum. Then it gets a grip, snaps them and slumps back. Its tendrils and limbs are quick to release us as it tries to squirm away.

We grunt, but rise. Pain isn't a problem. Pain is a wonderful melody of life. We can use it to fuel so many–

But… We glance down. See the bloody mess that it tore into our chest, and the three bones of the ribcage that protrude from the ugly sight.

No, not ugly. Even when we are wounded our work is perfect.

Amwella flairs, and we perform real fucking magic. No runoff or corpse bones needed, just… hum a melody to begin urging our body to reknit and heal faster. Pure will channeled through song. Gorgeous violet nectar seeps from our core and begins to re-knit flesh while forcing bone back into place.

A clatter catches our attention, we glance up to see the thing has pulled the shattered half of the bone spears from itself and dropped them onto the floor between us.

"So…" We grin, "Which one are you?"

The nightmare doesn't reply, of course, as it tries to rise. But it fails and stumbles back in a slump.

We slink forward, reach down and grab the largest bone shard, flip it upside down. Lift our leg up, and with a swift jerk, pop and crack the ankle back into place. Feel warm song work to rebind the tendons and muscles and bones.

"Did you ever get a name?" We reach down and grip one of the pieces of our ribcage that hasn't yet twisted back into place. "Or did they just… toss you in with the rest?"

Snap. Then we have two very sharp weapons. Magic thrums, almost... annoyed at the lack of bone. But our fire burns hot enough to twist root into replacing it.

The nightmare scrambles farther, but we're already moving. Faster than past spirits would ever think possible, We dart forward, leap, and bring the two spikes down into the thing's core.

"If we were closer," We snarl as the thing begins to flail, a few stray limbs striking us in shoulder and leg. "I'd love to drag you back home, flay you living, then hang you from a tree."

Then, using one bone as leverage, we pull the other free and begin to stab the nightmare. Over and over and over. With each blow it writhes and squirms and begins to die in wonderfully beautiful little ways as we ride it's corpse to the ground.

"Fuck!" We growl, "Don't die so fast you useless–"

But... it's already still, going cold. For a few minutes we just crouch atop it's empty cold fuck of a body. Long snarling breaths forming a harmony to the song still rippling through us.

"Better than you deserve." We spit blood. "Fuck! Should have killed you slower."

We push back to get footing on solid ground. Glare down at the thing. So ugly.

Then we start taking deep breaths amidst careful magical humming. Consider things as we wait for our torso and ankle to heal enough to begin moving through crowded streets.

Where do we… But we're already dividing tasks. Bigger spirit starts flipping through memories. Smaller one glances down, examining the bone shard we still clutch.

It's not just bone and blood. We spot little twistings of… wood? Yes, like… tree roots have grown and woven themselves through it. Through all of us.

Even this bloody twisted thing is so pretty and amazing! The little spirit coos. Can we keep it? A… a memento to our first real… Well, 'kill' sounds kinda horrible. None of these fucks are worth remembering.

So just… joining?

The larger spirit agrees. We could make more in the future, but having a weapon within reach could prove beneficial. Tearing ourselves apart for them is… not very efficient.

Then warmth rolls through us then as we remember the inn, the cozy bed, and the promise of physical comfort and pleasure.

"We'll need to heal first." We sigh, but then smirk, "Pain amidst sex is fun though, definitely something to try before–"

But we shake our head. No. Yrelia and Tasii would never agree to that. They care about us, love us. They're already going to have a million questions about this and... and...

We jolt, a sudden division forms between us. "Wait… I… they're not… Are you like… What if they don't want to… um… be with you? What if… I don't want you to be with them?"

Like a playful lover clutching at hair, The larger spirit curls tighter around the smaller, tutters at it's silly thoughts.

Wrong questions, my Challa. You were mine first. They should be asking if I mind them playing with you.

I… but… the little spirit huffs. It makes sense. Sort of.

This division of purpose hurts, so It relaxes and rejoins.

We smile, one purpose settling amidst our mind, pull our torn clothes to wrap around our still bloody and healing chest, and begin our walk.

This feels wonderful! Everything is… brighter. Less scary. We almost jerk to a halt as the weight of the past few moments settle into us. We just killed something that would have probably ravaged at least a dozen women before the duenna of this city could even hope to understand what prowled their streets. We…

We can do magic!!! The little spirit almost yelps through our lips.

We can't help but twist the bone knife through dexterous fingers as we strut through the city, a big silly grin on our blood-marked face. Plenty of women eye us, either in worry at our scarred and disheveled look, or the knife we openly carry. But we don't mind. Why should we? We're perfect, even after slaughter… Especially after slaughter! Perfect Perfect Perfect! We are perfect!

The inn comes into view, and we pause to consider…

"How do we explain… all of this?" We glance down at the bloody mess we're trying to hold together, and at the fucking gorgeous bone knife.

The truth, obviously. The larger spirit guides us away from worry. It'll be such a relief that we won't need to even approach the Zeridii. Kque will be thrilled. It'll stop Jevita finding herself ensnared by the old fools gnashing at old bones and–

"Ina?"

We jerk up to find Tasii half-turned and a few steps past us.

"Hey Tasii." We smile at our lover. Fluttering warmth and desire and other things already bubbling up the sight of her tall strong frame betwixt moon and starlight.

"What are you–" Her eyes drift over me. Drawn to my satisfied twirling of the knife… Then to the torn and bloody mess I'm trying to hold together at my chest.

"Fuck!" She rushes over. "Ina are you okay!?!"

"Better than ever!" We grin, then pause. "Just… probably will need to get cleaned up though. Got kinda messy."

Something in our voice makes her jerk up to stare into our eyes. She sees something there she does not like. Warmth stills, turns to… well not worry. But… cold regard. Titters of anxiety begin to prickle at our neck and tummy and–

"Alright. Let's… go inside." She wraps an arm carefully around us and leads me into the inn. It's hard to let that look bother us while being wrapped in her warmth.

We go straight to our room, and have to wait a few seconds at the door when the basic lock won't open it. Signaling that someone locked it from the inside.

"Hellooo–" Yrelia opens the door, then freezes as she sees me. "Wha–"

Tasii ushers us past the storm of questions and helps me get to the bed. Kque must have already left to go be with Jevita and Lule.

"What happened?" Yrelia hisses at Tasii and us.

"I don't know!" Tasii whispers back, "I just found her outside the inn like this."

"We're fine!" We giggle through a sigh. "See?" We pull apart the layers of bloody, half frozen and mostly torn cloth to reveal the chest of closed wounds and scars. Each tinted with a little glittering of purple amidst splotches of dried blood.

That… doesn't have the intended effect. Yrelia immediately pushes us to sit on the bed and nearly shouts for Tasii to get the stitching kit. But, frozen from the moment we spoke again, Tasii just… stares, eyes narrowing in confusion and cold worry.

We studder to a halt under that stare. What is she hearing that's bothering her? Can she–

Yrelia does shout then, shocking the taller woman into action. "Tasii!"

"We took care of it." We huff, grasping at whatever we can to calm our lovers as we touch Yrelia's cheek. "Just need to wash up love, get a clean shirt and such."

She doesn't flinch back, but Yrelia's eyes dart up to meet ours. All worry and confusion. Then Tasii comes over with a water pouch and cleaning towels while Yrelia helps me shed the layers of ruined clothes.

"That's… fuck! We loved that big sweater." We grumble as the clothes are tossed into a bloody pile. "It was one of yours, Tasii. We adored finding your smell on it throughout the day and–"

"Ina, who's we?" Yrelia whispers, "Are Jevita and Lule okay? Who else is–"

"Oh. No no no! No one else. Just… Us…" We pause, considering how best to explain. The little spirit's words on this are... limited... And the larger doesn't want to dump a fountain of things without context into the mind between them. So...

"These look like bite marks." Tasii's fingers trace carefully over a collection of sealed but still angry looking cuts. "Everything here is already closed up." Tasii continues, "Kque would know better, but I'd guess a few weeks healed?"

"You definitely didn't have those this morning Ina." Yrelia takes my cheek again, gently pulls me to meet her gaze. "What happened?"

Warmth sputters through us at the touch. We can't help but to reach up and cup her hand. Decide to try our best with the words we have on hand. They were already prepared to embrace our disjunctions back outside Lyttoral, so... this can't be much harder than that. Right?

"We, is… this body and mind and soul. We think!" We giggle again, elated by the warmth and closeness of this new state. "A nightmare attacked, Then… We killed it. Us."

We point to ourselves and raise the bone knife. "Stabbed it. A lot!"

They both jerk as they seem to just realize the weapon in our hand. Confusion warring with… fear and disgust at the dried blood still caked across the marvelous tool.

We sigh with a smile and try to explain the encounter from the start. How we were alone, before we merged entirely, and how the nightmare attacked and we joined together. We leave out the dream stuff though… they wouldn't understand how a little pain helped the smaller spirit accept what she–

"So you're… Her?" Tasii asks, very carefully. "The Weaver?"

We give her a so-so gesture through a smirk. "Just a small piece. And Ina. Together. We're mixing right now. Sharing thoughts and... and everything! It's… fucking wonderful and perfect and–"

"For how long?" Yrelia cuts us off.

We hate the question.

We pause, then shrug. "Till... um... morning."

That makes her relax, and it hurts. She… doesn't like us? But… why wouldn't she–

"Why does Emarial hate you?" Tasii interrupts the thought. "Not Ina. The Weaver?"

Fury rises with memories of the Sun Spoken. How... How she... she did all those things then had the nerve to say that our larger spirit was somehow... fucking... FUCK! Just another thing she tries to ruin for us!

We huff. "No idea."

A pause, Tasii's eyes narrow. That makes us squirm a little, finally having to pull from Yrelia's warm touch to look away. "Our's isn't the shard she's carrying. So… We don't know what her fucking problem is with us."

"Take a guess." Tasii presses.

We pause, annoyed, but… we do want to calm her, so we add. "We don't have a link to other Sun Spoken, woman or Weaver. Not without burning a ton of Amwella. And… honestly? We don't care. She's a cunt."

The anger surprises them, they exchange a glance.

"Okay… How much of you is Ina, and how much isn't?" Yrelia lays a hand on ours, but we can't miss the quiver of worry in her tone.

"We're not…" We grind teeth, trying to find the words. She… she was the last person we expected to resist this. Was kinda hoping to try asking for sex things tonight. But... how the fuck do we make them understand? What are they so afraid of!?!

"That's like… asking how much of you loves Tasii, compared to how much of you loves Kque or Jevita." We stare down at the bone knife. "It's not something we can really… measure or separate."

We glance up, hopeful. But find more of the same. Fear and suspicion and chilly looks.

"It's still… me, Yrelia." We wince at the singular, but push forward. "Just… also more. We needed help, that nightmare would have ripped us to shreds to ravage our Amwella. We agreed to this."

Yrelia begins to soften.

"Can you end this merger early?" Tasii asks. "Can we talk to just Ina?"

That makes us bristle. Sudden anger that she would suggest We cleave ourselves asunder like some fruit.

"Why?" We fight to keep our voice level, but… it still comes out flat and angry.

That makes them flinch. Yrelia begins to speak, but Tasii lays a hand on her shoulder.

"We're worried for Ina." She whispers, carefully. Tone even and controlled despite everything. "The only other Sun Spoken we met who knew anything about it was really scared of–."

Division. Brought by sudden and very singular fury. It hurts.

"Emarial. Is. A. Cunt!" We spit the little spirit's fury. "She cornered me and forced her disgusting fucking Amwella down my throat!"

Deep breathes. Rejoin.

We calm a little.

"Sorry." We whisper, then glare off into the wall.

A long pause. Guilt floods into us. They're just… worried. It makes sense... sorta. Emarial poisoned them against us.

"Sleep is the best way." We finally huff out. "Makes sure the separation isn't… mangled."

"Is this hurting Ina?" Tasii presses, "At all?"

We turn and glare at Tasii. "We're right here Tasii! This is the best we've felt since… well… at least since you pinned us to the stable wall three towns back and fucked us so silly we couldn't walk."

A beat, then…

"Oh, fuck." Yrelia snorts and chuckles, tries to bring a hand to her face to cover it. "Was that when I was taking care of the trade in Indito? Sad I missed that."

Tasii doesn't answer her, doesn't even crack a smile. Just… stares. Like she did back before we told her about our past outside Lyttoral. Back before she trusted us.

Something breaks then. Inside. As one of our lovers views us as a stranger.

"Fine!" We grunt, and move to stand. Anger smothering what would normally have been tears.

Yrelia jerks back, Tasii just… keeps us under that level stare as we stomp around the bed. We grab a pillow and blanket before turning back and walking past them.

"What are you doing?" Yrelia asks.

"We're fucking tired." We throw the pillow against the far wall. "The song we used isn't much better than healing waters if we don't sleep."

Then we drop ourselves onto the hard cold stone floor and pull the pillow close as we huddle under the blanket.

We hear the sound of lips, a silent conversation done with only mouthing the words. Years of understanding and love and friendship that we just… don't have. We're the outsider. The new weird fucked up girl who can barely pull our own weight and contribute. Can't even... Can't even make them understand this wonderful thing!

They don't move for a long time.

We're not worth it. Old worries of the little spirit bubble up. Begin to overwhelm and drown her. Just… more people who enjoy fucking us and not much else. Now... now we've scared them and they'll probably make us leave and... and...

Motion from behind. We can't help but flinch as we prepare for anger. For more questions or demands or–

A hand gently touches our shoulder.

"Hey. Don't sleep on the floor." Yrelia murmurs.

We... don't know what to make of that. "We'll be fine."

"C'mon." She sighs. "This... Fuck. I don't... We can talk about this in the morning. Okay?"

We... pause at that. roll over to look back at them.

"Get up, be a good girl, and come to bed." Yrelia demands with absolutely zero sexy things in her tone while holding out a hand to us.

The words sends flutters through us regardless, and we're reaching out to take her hand before we realize the reflex. And before we can let any other old memories sour us, we're up and laying in the middle of the bed. But... Tasii doesn't join us right away, and Yrelia doesn't pull us into a big snuggle like she normally does. It's after a long pause that the silence is broken.

"Ina." Tasii's voice is level, but there's an edge to it. "Could you please not sleep with that knife?"

We look down to stare at it for almost a full minute. Understand the danger, the worry, the… not smartness of it.

But it was a gift from us to ourselves! The Little spirit whines. What if... what if they don't give it back or... or try and break it or–

But... she's not moving. So we sit up a bit to flip it around and hold it out to her.

"Thank you." Tasii whispers as she carefully takes it. Only a little of her worry fading as her fingers close around it.

We huff in exhausted annoyance and plop back into the lonely softness. Then we hum a little quiet magic tune, and force our furious mind to relax. Welcome the oblivion of sleep as it wraps our mind and spirits in darkness.

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