Chapter 8

"Are you sure?" I ask still not truly believing what Doctor Blundell just told me. He'd arrived not long ago after I'd had my breakfast to conduct his examination. Knowing that this was coming I hadn't slept well last night not sure what answer I wanted from him. If I'm with child then I'll have to come to terms with the impending separation from my baby but if I'm not then the Duke and I will have to continue trying.

"Yes. Congratulations your Grace," the doctor tells me washing off his hands, "You are with child."

"Marguerite," I turn my head to the side where she's been standing holding my hand during the examination, "Could you call the Duke in?" Letting go of my hand she curtsies and goes to invite him inside.

While my husband had shown the doctor to my room he'd elected to wait outside in the hallway for the news rather than to be present during the examination. I'd breathed a sigh of relief at him waiting outside not wanting him to see me in such a vulnerable position. Plus it's giving me a few short moments where this baby is mine and mine alone.

"Doctor?" he asks striding into the room with only a brief glance at me on the bed.

"Congratulations your Grace. The Duchess is with child," Doctor Blundell informs him with a smile and a short bow.

"Excellent news Doctor. Thank you again for coming, we'll be sure to follow any recommendations that you give us,"

"For now I will prescribe a limiting diet for the Duchess but I'm sure that I can discuss that with her Grace's maid and your cook. I will return to check on the Duchess in a few months but if you have any concerns before then please send for me," He tells us while he finishes packing up his bag.

"Of course. I'm sure the Duchess's maid can show you down to the kitchen where you can speak to the cook," The Duke tells him showing him to the door before turning to me, "You'll be moved into the Duchess's rooms for the duration of your pregnancy. And though this changes nothing between us, I'll be remaining here until the birth." His orders given he turns to leave.

"Thank you your Grace," I say quietly with the only indication that he could hear me is the slight pause in the doorway before he's gone. While he might hate me it's reassuring to know that someone who wants this child as much as I do will be here.

The Duke might claim that this will change nothing but it will. Already he's moving me closer to him by finally giving me the Duchess's rooms and in time I will need new dresses as the ones I have won't fit. For the sake of his heir's healthy he will have to pay attention to me and my well-being. If he's intending to be here while I'm pregnant then he can't ignore me the entire time or he might as well go back to London.

It doesn't mean that the next few months won't be anything but incredibly awkward and possibly painful for the both of us as we adjust. Neither of us are used to sharing our lives with someone else as what little I've managed to learn about the Duke is that doesn't have many friends and so like me he's spent many years with only himself for company.

"Your Grace the doctor is leaving shortly," Marguerite tells me coming back into the room after going downstairs to hear the instructions for my new diet, "And some footmen are here to help me move your belonging into the Duchess's room."

"Thank you Marguerite. I'll go and see him off while you oversee the move," Giving her a grateful smile I make my way downstairs to bid farewell to Doctor Blundell. To no surprise I find the Duke there as well talking with the doctor.

"-recommend exercise as well," I only catch the end of whatever the doctor is advising my husband on as I approach them.

"Doctor Blundell I came to bid you farewell and to thank you again for coming all this way,"

"It's no trouble your Grace. Please if you need anything else do not hesitate to call for me," He replies with a bow towards me and the Duke before he departs. Outside his horse is waiting and he's soon mounted and making his way back to London. With the doctor out of sight I turn around ready to head back upstairs to assist in moving my belongs to my new room.

"Wait," Surprisingly the Duke calls after me just as I reach the stairs making me turn to look back at him, "Would you care for a walk in the garden?"

"That sounds wonderful," I reply walking back over to him. He nods stiffly then leads the way out to the nearest garden while I follow close to him in complete shock that he asked at all. Perhaps he's taken ill.

The garden he leads me to is one that I haven't explored much as it's one of the larger gardens and I didn't want to become lose. The Duke however clearly knows his way around as he walks confidently at a steady pace that I can keep up with. It'd be easy for him to outpace me as he's done before yet for some reason he's slowed down so that we're actually walking together, maintaining only a slight lead so that I can follow without bumping into him.

Silence exists between us as it often has whenever we've been in the same room but for the first time it's easier to bear. Perhaps its because we're outside together rather than trapped in the same room, here there is an easy escape if either of us feels the need. The many flowers also provide an excellent distraction from each other, I stop occasionally to get a better look at some of the more beautiful or eye-catching ones and the Duke actually waits for me to finish rather than leaving me behind.

"I want to know why," He suddenly blurts out breaking the peaceful silence once we're deep enough into the garden that Knole House is no longer visible.

"Why what?" I ask not understanding what he wants to know. Nor why it had to be discussed so far from the house.

"Why you engineered your own compromise? I want to know the reason why," Halting he turns to face me his stubborn expression telling me that he won't let this go until he has an answer, "I've thought about it and it hasn't made sense. There were plenty of unmarried men at that ball that would have married you regardless of dowry and your brother's habits. And if not this season then the next. So why ruin yourself?"

I stand there for a few minutes trying to think of an answer to give him but I come up with nothing that he would believe. It leaves me with only the truth to tell him despite how it'll likely make him hate me even more than before.

"Because they wouldn't have been enough," I tell him meeting his dark eyes that I'm only now close enough to realise are a dark green, "I needed a husband with money and power which none of those men would have had. There was no way that a gentleman with what I was looking for would marry me without a dowry so I found a way."

"So you really had no care about what would happen," He replies taking a step back from me in disgust, "Not a thought as to the damage you'd do to the man you forced to marry you."

"That was why I learnt all could before choosing the Earl of Bedford, everyone spoke of how he is a kind man. I thought that if I married him then at least he would treat me well."

"As opposed to how I've treated you. Is that it?" He practically snarls at rage filling his eyes once more.

"That was not what I meant," I shout back voice rising in my own anger, "Yes things here have been difficult but is no less than I deserve. I know that. And I know that things would have been much worse had I not planned for my own future. Not with a brother such as mine." I choke back a sob at the end not having intended to reveal so much but having got carried away in anger.

"So remaining unmarried would have been so terrible," The Duke scoffs watching me in judgement as I try to stop myself from crying.

"I would not have been unmarried," I yell at him looking up to meet his eyes again, "It was made clear to me years ago that if I returned from my first season unmarried then I would be used to clear my brother's gambling debts. Married off to whichever one paid him the most. So yes I spent years developing the perfect plan to give myself a safe life but it was only because I had no choice."

Exhaustion overwhelming me as I say it aloud for the first time I sink towards the ground crying quietly as I remember the future that had awaited me. Only to be caught by strong arms before I actually reach the floor.

"I'm sorry," The Duke whispers into my hair before easily picking me up. Effortlessly he starts walking back towards the house, his stride so steady that I can barely feel it as he holds me close. I don't know if he's apologising for pushing me to reveal this or for what happened.

The path he walks through the house isn't one that I recognise until we finally enter a room. It's still not a room that I've seen before but with Marguerite and other maids busy putting away my belongings it can only be my new room.

"Leave us," The Duke orders placing me down on the bed. Silently the room is vacated by all the servants with Marguerite giving me a questioning look as she departs. I can only return the look not sure myself what's happening. "When?" He asks dragging a chair over to sit in by my bedside.

"Not long before I turned three and ten," I reply knowing that he wants more details about what I'd said in the garden, "One of the men that Humphrey owes money to, a Mr Waldron, came to Edmour seeking a repayment. They were speaking in the library; Humphrey was hoping that he'd take some of the books to begin covering the debt. I went in looking for a book not knowing they were in there and the look that Mr Waldron gave me, it scared me. I fled the room as soon as I could and hid in my room until he left. But later that night Humphrey called me downstairs to his study."

"That's when he told me that Mr Waldron was willing to forget all of his debts if I married him. The offer was so appealing that he didn't even care that Mr Waldron is more than old enough to be my father with the hygiene of a pig. It was only Lady Harris's promise to my mother that I would have a season in London once I came of age that stopped him, she made sure to remind Humphrey about it often. I realised the only way that I would be able to free myself from that fate was to take matters into my own hands."

This is the longest conversation that the Duke and I have had by far and the most that he's let me say to him. While I've been speaking he's simply listened not giving anything away about what he thinks. The truth doesn't change what I did to him but it may make what happened easier to bear.

Not that I have told him all of it. I don't mention to him that Mr Waldron had asked my brother if he may spend time with me alone and despite my young age I knew exactly what he intended. It had only added to my resolve to not be made to marry a man such as he, one who would touch and lie with a child.

"Forgive me for saying so but your brother is a vile and foolish man," He says eventually after a few minutes of silence, "A young lady shouldn't have to go to such lengths but I understand why you did it now. Thank you."

"I am truly sorry," I tell him again knowing that I probably won't be able to say it enough.

"I know," He replies rising to his feet, "And I am sorry for what your brother put you through. You should get some rest, for the baby's sake."

Our conversation deemed finished he leaves the room to let me rest. It's not even midday yet but so much has happened already that I once I've taken off my shoes I make myself comfortable to have a nap.