Ch. 62 - Remembering our home.

I was left bemused by Sarah's unusual approach and unique attitude yesterday. That I couldn't get the picture of her wearing exposing and skintight outfits, her beautiful smile and cute round, sparkling eyes out of my head. Whenever I close my eyes, I could always see her face, gracefully looking at me. With such a bright and childish smile on her face. She seems to have no problem revealing herself to me like that. On our previous conversations, she always mentions how she feels attacked by others on how they frowned upon her. And how it makes her frustrated for following the rules of her religion. But she acts different when I was with her. She exposes her hair and skin at me, she acts accordingly to what she honestly feels. She doesn't seem to keep her guard up whenever im around with her. If this is a sign that she trust me, that she feels comfortable being with me. Just thinking about it brings a smile on my face.

It makes me wonder if she does it to other people as well or just me. If the latter is true, then I am lucky. Yesterday was such a roller coaster of mix emotions and not a bit of it was anticipated. She truly makes me feel dumbfounded and nervous by her every move. Even when I try to work out and divert my thoughts on something else, she kept intruding my mind. Thinking how happy she was with me, after she tells her frustrations and sadness she endures. Makes me feel warm inside, and it makes me wanna hang out with her more. So I could make her smile even more, I don't want her to end up in the same desolate and empty person that I am now.

I ended up waiting for her, in front of the Bistro where we usually met whenever we're going to hang out. It was late in the afternoon, it just finished raining. The air is cold and foggy, the sidewalks are wet and there were droplets of rain dripping from the edge of the roof of the Bistro. She must've gotten slowed down by the weather. The atmosphere after the rain is always calming, the breeze on my face and silence makes a time like this perfect for a cup of coffee while listening to some of the old love songs my grandparents used to play every Sunday morning.

"Akagi~"

I suddenly heard a familiar, cheerful voice. My head immediately turned towards the direction of where I heard the voice came from with excitement in my eyes. I felt relieved to see her approaching me after minutes of waiting.

"Im sorry, were you waiting for so long?" She asked worryingly.

"Oh no, not at all." I enthusiastically responded. I look at her and said.

"That's a another pretty hijab, you're wearing." She caresses her hijab and smiles at me. We went to have a seat at one of the outdoor tables, with shade provided by their open arbours. We sat near some plants at the side, to maximize the breeze were catching on our skin and to admired the pleasant sight of blooming flowers.

"So you also have an interest in nature, huh?"

"Yeah, I'd often surround myself in green fields of grass, or stand by the coast or beach staring at the blue horizon, to calm myself and enjoy the silence." I casually responded.

"Oh~ Do you live nearby a beach? That sounds nice. I prefer to be around trees and bushy plants, because the sound they make whenever a strong wind blows, they rattled and makes such a calm, soothing noise that reminds me of home."

"Do you miss your home?" I asked.

"Of course, I do." She declared.

"But I dont nessarily hate our current situation now, its just, nothing feels like home."

"Feels like home." We said in synchronicity.

"What was your home like? What do you mostly miss about your home?" I curiously asked.

She stares deeply into my eyes and she took a deep breath, I could see in her eyes the strong evocative longing that she's feeling.

"I grew up with my foster parents at the rural inland parts of Malaysia. Our home was build atop of a small hill, of green grass and tall trees. Everyday after school, I would go to our small land with my mother and little brother to tend to the vegetable garden we had. We would harvest fresh fruits and vegetables and take it to our home, so when my father comes home from work he has something to eat. It was calming and pleasing to the eye, especially during the evening. Seeing the orange sky during the sunset. And for several kilometers, there were no tall buildings that would obstruct the sun from reaching our plants, or huge vehicles that would cause pollution and smoke. The air was fresh and so to does the green scenery of my hometown."

"You seems really happy back then, what happened?"

"My little brother had to go through a head surgery. We couldn't afford it, so we sold our small plot of lot including our home." She said in a gloomy voice.

"Oh my..." I muttered in disbelief.

"Fortunately, my father pass with the requirements needed to qualify for a job in here. He went ahead, hoping to earn as much as he could to provide for us in Malaysia. But life back there had gotten worse, there were extreme droughts that destroyed the farms in my home province. And apart from that, my country isn't exactly as developed, and so prices suddenly increased and some job opportunities suddenly vanished as businesses start closing. So with what money we had left, and some from my father. We all moved here."

I look at her with pity and what she said reminds me of what was my life when I was living with my grandparents. Suddenly, my memories of when I was there as a kid started to be engraved on my mind. I feel like sharing it to her, so she may know that she's not alone, suffering from frustrations of longing for a place you once called home. And to lighten up the mood, I think I would start joking around.

"Im sorry about that, it must've been really hard for you." She nods approvingly.

"I know how challenging it could be, to suddenly have your life turn upside down, where all of a sudden you woke up in a different, unfamiliar place. You feel alienated and stress all the time, wondering how would you be able to adjust, thinking what could be next. Especially since you're in a foreign land, you dont know how people act, you don't they're customs or they're language."

"Yeah, pretty much what I felt during my first days here." She replied.

"How do you know so much?" Sarah asked curiously.

"I could relate in some way, your home isn't that different from mine. I was born in Kawasaki, but I mostly grew in Shizuka, with my grandparents and extended family."

"Oh? What was your hometown like?" She asked. Eager to hear my story.

"Kinda similar to yours, apart from the fact that my grandparents house is build surrounded by tall trees, nearby a stream. It was really quite and peaceful, you could only hear the sways of the tree branches as they're left falls down due to a strong gust of wind. And at night, you could see birds, nesting on them." "Aww~ Your hometown sounds like a great place." She heartwarmingly said.

"That's where I grew up with some of the fondest memories I ever gathered, I use to climb those tree's to find where the birds nest are." I told her.

"Why? Do you want to pet the birds?" She replied. "No, its because I want to take and eat the eggs." "Woah! Why would you do that?!" She says in panic and distress. I chuckled.

"Because I was naively stupid, I didn't know the eggs we ate came from chickens. I used to think all eggs are the same." I jokingly told her.

"Don't worry, I didn't succeed in eating one. My grandmother found me crying while hanging by the tree branches caused I couldn't get down. So she had to bring me down and I never dared to climb that high again." She laughs and cheerfully said.

"That's a relief~ You almost got me there for second." Says Sarah.

"After that, I've stopped climbing trees and I just started to roam in the forest area farther away from our house, I always ended up playing by the side of the river streams."

"Aww~ What were you playing?"

"I play around with the kids in the neighborhood, but mostly I like being just by myself, looking around the forest for grasshoppers or dragonflies by the river. I was alot more enthusiastic and lively back then. I like to run around and do some parkour." I told her.

"Me too!" She exclaimed.

"Im really hyper when I was a kid. I would always tell my mom to take me to the playground, and sometimes she ask me to go to the market to buy something. I would always sprint!" She said in jubilation.

"Yeah, its kinda feels nice because you could feel the air on your whole body when you sprint." She giggled.

"Its kinda adorable to imagine how you were in that situation as I look at how much of a grown up you are." She teasingly said.

"We all come from somewhere, I was just a child like you do."

"Yeah, but I wish I could still do outdoor activities, but it feels embarrassingly to do, because im already an adolescent."

She told me. She neither sounds gloomy or happy about what she said. But I think that's just her genuine expression, might as well tease her.

"Well you still could, you just have to overcome your fear. I know its difficult, but to wake up and being able to do what you love, you'll see, all the effort would be worth it." I told her in an attempt to encourage her.

"Like what?" She curiously asked.

"Simply what you love to do, I may not look like it, but im hyper as well. So I jog outside in the early morning and go to the gym in the evening after work."

I remove my coat and reveal my arm to her, I flex and showed her my bicep.

"Take a look~" I was expecting to see her face flustered and look away. But she was starring right at it, with her face blushing in a bright red colour.

"Wow~ You really work on yourself, do you?"

"Yes." I put my coat back and she giggled.

"You know? You always look stoic and intimidating from afar, but getting to know you like this, hearing your stories and how you progress im your life. Letting me know that your not so different than me, I wish I could have the same determination and passion as you. You're an inspiring person, Akagi."

What she said made me feel joy, it warms me up inside. Looking at her and at myself right now, her innocence and naively personality, reminds me of myself so much. And I feel like the person to be encouraging her, like how my grandparents are to me. She makes me feel appreciated, glad and thankful to be alive right now.