Explanation
That's what I meant to say... But isn't it annoying to you? I can walk on my own, you know?
"That WOULDN'T be the case if you HADN'T jumped off the building RIGHT when I've just put you down to the ground!"
[ After saving ■ from his multiple suicide attempts, the young man has to carry him like a sack of potatoes and walks all the way from the empty terrace to the buzzing road of the city. Just to stop him from jumping off the building like earlier. ]
There goes my only chance to go home...
[ ■ sighed heavily. They came too far from the previous location that he couldn't leave easily. Excluding jumping off the building, there is not much of an option for him to choose either. Whether he struggled to escape from Vaccine's hand, he couldn't even find a way to end his life in this vast open world. ]
Or is it tho...
[ If he can't do it himself, then let the nature of shenanigans do it for him.
■ looked at the constructed building across the street; he found a constructed wall that could crush him, a stack of metal piles hanging high up that could crush him, and an opened sewer lying near the edge of the sidewalk that he could fall into, ending him in a minute.
If he could at least go to one of those options right now–]
"Why don't you try to struggle like before?"
I know my limit.
[ The young man instantly met with an awkward stop. He pondered as to why he seemed to have annoyed ■ while passing by all the mentioned potential deaths before him.
The screams of people appeared upon the unfortunate events, yet each of them ended up without any casualties. Disappointed, ■ could only look at them slowly disappear to the horizon. As his chances have already ridden away.
As for ■, the reason why he is well-behaved now is because of the young man. He is a skilled and well-trained doctor. In front of a man in his 20s with a bit of experience in handling uncontrollable patients, ■ has already given up on his escape plans. ]
"That's what I thought. Don't even think about dying when I'm here."
[ The young man was well pleased with ■'s response which annoyed ■ quite a bit. Ignoring his unknown confidence, ■ examined the surroundings once again to grasp their whereabouts, but nothing came to mind. ]
Where are we, tho? This looks like an old European city...
"You don't know?! What kind of creator are you for not knowing where we–Huh?"
[ Caught off guard, the young man lost his balance forward but quickly stomped the ground with his leg, almost getting himself walking straight to the moving vehicle on the road. ]
" Phew — That was close."
Tch, [ ■ repeated his question once again, ] So where are we then?
"The capital of Scotland, Edinburgh."
[ The young man picked up the pace as soon as he met up with a newspaper kiosk by the side of the road. It's a small one compared to others, but the stand never misses today's news. He then put a penny on the desk and grabbed one of the brand-new newspapers. ]
Which year?
"1900."
[ He awkwardly put his arms backwards to hand ■ the newspaper he just bought. It's a cheap, white-cast newspaper with a big title:
That would be 123 years across from mine...
"What did you just say?"
Nothing. Now, care to explain yourself, Vaccine?
[ ■ changed the topic toward the young man, who now we know as Vaccine. Just his mere existence is quite a mystery as to how he was there in the first place. Understanding the assignment, his beaming face became gloomy instantly. He stopped his walking once again. ]
"You really don't know, do you?"
...
[ Seeing the confusion in ■'s face, Vaccine shook his head. ]
"It was a few minutes ago..."
***
[ Perspective: Vaccine ]
"Go back..."
"Hey?! Wait!"
Without hearing a single thing, he pushed me into the portal and turned his back on me. His figure moved confidently toward the strangers, yet his expression showed the opposite. I wondered whom we had just met...
After that, a familiar nausea washed over me. It was that terrible dizziness you could get from riding a high-speed roller-coaster or standing on a boat in the middle of a storm. Thanks to having experienced it several times, I managed to NOT fall to the ground and didn't have to awkwardly give excuses for my circumstances.
But... this time is quite different than usual. The nausea is much stronger and heavier as if a massive stream poured out rapidly from a broken dam. My surroundings kept spinning and almost made me vomit. I held my head and properly pulled myself up from the ground after trying to stand up earlier.
"Ugh... I can never get used to this sort of travelling. Every time it was done, he would throw me in here without a second thought– Can't you at least be more gentle?!"
As I said, winds were crashing on the rooftop, leaving a space between me, and my speech echoed far away.
There was no reply again.
"As expected... The voice of a character can never reach its creator."
However, I could feel that it was surprisingly quiet today. As if his presence had completely... gone. There's no sign of any scenario playing currently, and there are no people here either. I couldn't hear the script reading inside my head anymore, and it made me paranoid.
"I guess he went to sleep right away. It was quite a busy night after all, but... where is this?"
The unsettling feeling was still there, but I quickly dismissed them and took a look at my surroundings. There are no white concrete walls or forests nearby. It's a completely different location, a location that had never been in the previous scenario before.
It's a university made of faded red bricks and blue cross-gable roofing. Straight walls and tall windows, you can find it anywhere in European schools. Since the university is in the evening, the walls are even brighter in the sunset. Even I could feel the warm casting upon them, yet the cold was still behind me.
But wasn't I supposed to be at Doctor's University by now? When did he add this place from reality into this world? No, in the first place, why did he send me here?
"Hm?"
Then, something far away caught my attention while I was concentrating. It was a small figure standing on top of the building, talking to himself.
"Who is that?"
I wondered as I tried to figure out who that was. His appearance is that of a modern civilian. He wore all black from shirt to pants, with a simple dark blue windbreaker. Strangely, he doesn't have a face except a pair of glasses on his nose.
"What is he talking about..."
I tried to listen to his speech instead. Maybe he could say something about himself. However, as the speech went on, I became more aware of who this was.
"Why is he here? No, wha–what are you going with that conclusion—"
A horrifying realization lurking behind my mind has come to light. It can't be mistaken, although his presence is weaker than before. It is him. And he was planning to kill himself!
"This must be a joke."
Well, there's nothing to be questioned about anyway. He always likes this. A selfish, violent, and crazy man who you can't do anything to, as a character.
However, I could feel that something was wrong. Anxiety violently shook my body, urging me to go immediately. As if this is his final speech to the world before he's gone completely, never to be seen again.
"He will be fineee… Who am I to worry for..."
He won't just die like that. There's so much stuff he has to work with; there's so much stuff to deal with, and there's so much to do! So he wouldn't leave me like that, right?
"..."
He wouldn't do that... right?
"...F*ck it."
So I ran.
Across the grass fields, across the halls, across every building that I found along the way. I could hear my footsteps on the ground, and I could feel my breath slowly heavier with each step I took, I could even hear my heart beating faster.
The memories about him started to resurface, one by one.
???: "Welcome to the 4th wall, Vaccine."
Vaccine: "Huh?"
???: "Let me introduce myself, I am your creator, JD."
I was swept up by confusion at the time, like a newborn who opened their eyes to the world. It was the first time I met him. And a lot of time has passed since then…
There was a time when I was annoyed by his behaviour...
"What are you doing?"
JD: "I'm designing Covid-19!**** Isn't he nice?"
"What?! WHY ARE YOU MAKING HIM? Isn't one enough for my work??"
JD: "Welp, It's midnight! Let me sleep already."
"Hey!"
There was a time when I was flustered by his taunting...
JD: "Well~ look what we have here! Didn't you say you didn't want her?"
"SHUT UP!////////"
There was a time when I was already tired of his shit...
JD: "Do you want to join The Organization?"
"No–"
JD: "Okay, you're in."
"Haizz... Whatever."
... And a time when I appreciated his consideration.
JD: "I'm sorry."
"What are you even sorry about? It's weird."
JD: "For what happened before? I... didn't mean to."
JD: "So, I'm sorry about that."
"You don't need to. It's all in the past now."
JD: "Nah, I still find the need to apologize to you properly."
"..."
"Fine."
When I opened my eyes of awareness for the first time, he had already grabbed over my control. I could only watch his tyranny over my own emotions and actions for nearly a year. I could have hated him or despised him to the core, yet after "that incident", he set me free and kept caring about me, treated me like a friend but never stopped apologizing every time he reminded himself about his mistakes.
That is why his speech and his image that appears far away have hit me. Everyone makes mistakes. And everyone deserves to be forgiven. Even if he changes his appearance, he's still my creator. I don't want him to leave too soon.
However, I was currently nowhere near him in the slightest. My intuition continued to lead me towards the back of a building, I was almost out of breath, but I could feel myself getting closer.
"Huff... huff..."
Even though the stairs felt longer than before, I'll bite my tongue to keep going forward. I hold on to it, so just tell me... what happens to you…
What has happened that you've chosen such an extremity?
"Ah."
There, I saw him.
…in a completely different location from mine, but I easily recognized those buildings. It's a city of the 21st century.
Apartments and a few landmarks can be seen in the distance, and the noisy streets can be heard vividly. The white clouds resemble cotton on the blue-painted sky, stretching to the end of the horizon. Unconsciously, I reached my hand out…
"JD?"
…but an invisible wall has separated us, preventing me from reaching him. And it seemed like JD hadn't known about my presence yet. I attempted to call him a few times.
"Hey, JD!"
"Hey!!"
"Do you hear me, JD!?"
However, the wall stopped any sound from going through except for his speech to reach my ears.
And it was nearly over.
"Wait!"
I punched it, but the force bounced back on me. I pushed it, but the wall showed no sign of budging. I slam my head on the wall, hoping that it could get through.
But it's all in vain.
*THUMP*
"Why?"
*THUMP*
"Why are you doing this?"
I asked. Likes every other time he does something without telling me the reasons why. Every time, it is like a puzzle, trying to find the missing pieces and putting them all together to see the whole picture that he drew. It was tiring, but that's just what he wanted.
*THUMP*
"Is this one of your trolling, right? It must be!"
He didn't answer.
*THUMP*
"Can you stop now?"
*THUMP*
"This was intended, right?"
Frequently, I would be picked for his own entertainment, self-talking, is what he called it. However, I didn't understand such things at the time. Replying to him with the same kind of tone was like breathing to me as I increased my strength with each punch.
*THUMP*
"Hey..."
*THUMP*
"It's not funny anymore..."
At this point, my mind had been broken. The powerlessness could have slowly eaten away all of my strength. Instead, it's making my blood boil hotter. With the last bit of my sanity, I screamed my lungs out.
"STOP!"
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
"I SAID STOP!"
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
"JUST STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW!"
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
I could feel it becoming hotter and hotter every time I punched the wall. Blood had already been starting to run down my hands, enough to paint a picture on the wall in front of me… yet I didn't stop. I poured all of my strength in an attempt to force through.
Maybe something will happen.
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
"LET ME GO!"
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
"LET ME GO!"
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
"JUST LET ME GO!"
Then, I saw him move… He finally moved! I have been waiting for this for so long. We could talk things out after this and end this scenario. However, he did not walk toward me.
Oh.
Instead, where he was going…
*THUMP*
"PLEASE!! PLEASE DON'T GO!!"
*THUMP*
"I'M PEGGING YOU! PLEASE DON'T—"
Don't go, don't leave me here... My legs had given up, and my body had slid down to the wall, but my hand still slammed this d@mn wall repeatedly.
*THUMP*
"Why..."
*THUMP*
"I was so close..."
*THUMP*
"Why are you doing this to me..."
*THUMP*
As I continued to slam my hands against the wall, I realized that I hadn't expressed my thoughts to him yet. All these three years of travelling were enough for a mere character like me to develop consciousness, yet I merely stood by and watched his plays and films.
At the end of each scene, only a silent greeting him.
I wasn't even scripted to be there in the first place.
*THUMP*
"No..."
How lonely was he for him to stand there with a cracked smile, knowing that no one would applaud for his marvellous scripts?
It's so suck that he couldn't share it with anyone other than himself.
*THUMP*
"No. That's not..."
How hopeless was he to continue to improve his creations for years in solitude like a maniac just so he could show off?
As a matter of fact, he did show it and proudly bragged about it like it was the best project in the world behind our backs.
And we you know that.
*THUMP*
"THAT'S NOT TRUE!"
Then what are you going to do now?
*THUMP*
In the end, I couldn't hate him. Instead, I find myself sympathizing with him. As if there was a connection between us, I started to understand the intentions behind his actions... It's silly and stupid, but at least I could understand him to some degree.
Just like that, we travelled for three whole years, went through the highs and lows of life, and shared our moments. The more we travelled, the more he felt like a relative to me.
"I..."
As he's ready to take the last step. I hesitate.
What if... this is not what he wants? What if my concerns are meaningless? What if my efforts turned out to be harmful to him?
"I shouldn't stop him. It's not my place to do so..."
It was clear now. This wall, he might have put it here to stop me. My efforts are worthless in front of absolute power, which is what he wants to say, right? You don't need to be concerned about him… is what his message wants to say to me, right?
Is this your final resolution?
I heard it again. Even though I was alone, behind me, that faded voice spoke up in each statement, seemingly trying to stab me. Unfortunately, I could barely see a thing in this state; I only had enough energy to answer three times at most.
"Yes..."
Are you going to wait for his command again?
"What else could I do other than wait for him..."
I have to wait...
And wait...
Wait for the new script to arrive...
Then act as the script said... Act like what he said, act like what he wants. After that, a grand ending will be waiting at the end of the play, and he will be satisfied.
The silence warped over our surroundings. Until the others decided to ask me one last time.
Is this what you truly want?
Their question was unexpected. That's true... Why have I never thought about it? I got up from the ground, slowly but steadily, supporting myself with the invisible wall.
What do I want?
I have wished to be able to judge his creations myself so I could discuss them with him all day long. He has been craving for someone to talk to about his work. I could see what his excitement would be like when he found one.
"Ha ha ha..."
I wanted to express my thoughts to him so he could finally understand me. Maybe in the future, he could at least have sympathized with me and stopped his trolling for once.
"Hahaha."
I wanted to be his companion, a friend... So that he won't be alone anymore, even in the crisis. At least we have each other's backs and face the problem together. However, I couldn't say all of that, I would pass out right away. I grip my hand tightly, putting all of my thoughts into one to finally come to one conclusion. Because in the end…
"I don't want my creator to die."
Then…
Suddenly, a hand placed on my back and pushed me forward, successfully getting my body through the wall. All my wounds were healed, and I felt energized. When my mind started to become clearer again, I heard the last thing coming from behind—trying to encourage me in our last meeting with only one word:
Go.
***
So that's how it went...
[ ■ took a sip of his black tea, forgetting about the milk mug that came along with it. The heavy acrid arose in his mouth, almost making him spill all of it out. He quickly gulped all the bitter tea down and poured the milk in; continued to enjoy it, as if this was his first time trying this drink. ]
"Mystery, isn't it?"
[ Vaccine, on the other hand, ignored the clumsy sight of ■ and continued to dip in the slice of chocolate cake that was on a seasonal sale this month. The layers of chocolate are neatly baked and decorated with soft whipping cream, which is worth £4.30 he spent. ]
"M mn mmn m mh mhm mhm m, m nm mnn n nm mnh mm."
(I can't seem to recall who that was, but they sounded like an old man.)
[ ■ immediately gushed all of his tea out because he found the comment about the mystery man hilarious... He held his laugh back and put the teacup down before pointing at Vaccine, who was still munching on the chocolate cake. ]
Finish your food before speaking, Vaccine.
"...Mhm."
(...Okay.)
[ Vaccine was left speechless. On reflecting on his manner previously; he felt a strange warmth rise in his heart. Minutes passed, and the once crowded cafe had now been calmed, ■ leaned back after taking another sip of tea. He read the story once again. ]
Ho... I didn't know you would have such a heartbreaking story.
"What are you looking at?"
Nothing.
[ Following ■'s face direction, he was also looking up at the empty sky. However, there was nothing there in the first place, so why does ■ seem to look at it intensively? ]
"Hey."
Shh—I'm reading.
"Haiz… Tell me when you're done."
[ He sighed, too familiar with this kind of attitude from someone. It never changed since their last conversation. Vaccine tapped his fork on the empty plate before continuing their previous conversation. ]
"Do you remember now?"
It must be hard for you to cry at this age–
*SLAM*
[ Vaccine stood up from his seat, his face flustered in embarrassment. Did he get caught for showing such weak emotions in his short backstory? However, ■ quickly corrected himself. ]
Calm down, I'm not mocking you right now.
"Oh..."
[ Vaccine was taken aback by ■'s words, he sat back down and waited for ■ to finish his talking. ]
But for you to break free from the bind and intervene? That's admirable. You managed to run through time and space to get me.
"I did?"
My time and yours are different, Vaccine. It seemed like that wall was the cut between two spaces depending on the number of years across. Since you haven't done it yourself, you couldn't make that warped jump.
[ ■ paused, he lifted the empty teacup toward Vaccine. There was still a small drop of tea left in the bottom. ]
You could have fallen out from the cut or torn apart along with times and spaces, compared to how small you are.
[ Holding the teacup upward, ■ swallowed that drop of tea during the conversation. Vaccine looked at him in silence. He doesn't understand a single hint of that action of his. However, what ■ said is true. No matter how he may do something impressive, he's still a speck of the universe. ]
So this is the infamous black tea with milk from the British, quite the unique flavour gotta say.
"It's not that impressive for a £2.76 cup of tea."
[ After taking a tour around the city, they somehow end up near the Cove Harbour, Vaccine decided that they should settle down at a nearby cafe to order some drinks. However, the inside is already full, so they have to go outside.
Leaving the crowded cafe behind, the outside was surprisingly quiet compared to where they passed by. Maybe because they went in earlier and got their hands on the first slice of chocolate cake, or the people were too busy fighting over the other slices available on discount. But that is not their problem, ■ then put the teacup down and turned to look at the setting sun. ]
Isn't this so nice... Sitting at the cafe while enjoying your drink and dessert in the last hour of the sunlight?
[ Like what ■ has said, the sunset is dancing on the chimney, then slowly moving from the roof to the windows and finally descending onto the front of the cafe with its light. Although it's already May 25th, the temperature is barely warm enough for hanging out with friends.
Those men with the well-crafted canes walking down the streets, children with nice little clothes playing game of tags, and women with their bulky, fancy dresses show how wealthy the people here are.
That is the scenery of Edinburgh city, the capital of Scotland; which borders the North Sea, with firmly solid houses and lampposts by the brick-paved streets. There's no lack of rich people here who do not need to go on outdated carriages anymore.
Some decided that they would have dinner at a nice and expensive restaurant, and some others decided to go to the market to prepare dinner for their family. Those are the signals for the beginning of Friday night.
Amazed by the lively world before him, Vaccine could only agree. ]
"Indeed..."
[ Have I ever seen an actual sunset before, Vaccine thought. He has been living between fixated time scenes all this time. Because of the lack of background, be it morning, afternoon, or even midnight; it's all the same, bright, and as if there weren't any shadows. To the point, he couldn't even tell what time it was anymore, but this sunset was exceptionally ravishing today.
He closed his eyes and let the sunshine on his face. Their surroundings became quieter and scarce as more people went home; only the wind remained.
In this cold, freezing place, there's still a bit of warmth in the sunlight and his heart. The times they spent here were slower and longer than before, but he found it relaxing. Sadly, they've already finished their dessert. ]
The lampposts are about to turn up. What are you going to do now that you've saved me?
[ ■'s question has brought Vaccine back to reality. Right, it's not over yet. He, too, has a lot of unanswered questions in mind. ]
"Now that's out of the way. It is my turn to ask you!"
[ Seeing the enthusiasm from Vaccine, ■ calmly responded. ]
Go ahead.