Pain of the wounds of past

It was night and Nakul was throwing daggers through his eyes at Dhiraj. Was he mad at Dhiraj? Well, not mad enough to not cook food for him. But definitely mad enough to roll his eyes and taunt Dhiraj.

But Dhiraj remained unaffected. He knew why he was keeping things to himself. And he believed there was nothing wrong with doing so. Hence, he kept browsing through his I-Pad despite feeling the very obvious draggers from Nakul.

Nakul had enough but he still hadn't given up all hopes from Dhiraj. He was confident that Dhiraj would give in for his baby. 'He will, right?' And so Nakul tried once again. But this time he used his charms that his puppy would fall for, for sure!!

"And here I thought someone cared for me enough to do whatever I want." Nakul pouted. It hurt his pride to behave that way in front of Dhiraj. But there seemed to be no other way.

Their eyes meet. Dhiraj spotted the concern in Nakul's eyes for him once again. His eyes fell on Nakul's plump lips that were pouting. 'Adorable.' A small smile escaped his lips.

No getting the response Nakul expected he would get, he tried once more. He turned towards Dhiraj, and held his hands. Dhiraj knew he would immediately get weak to Nakul's touch and so he instantly whisked off Nakul's hand and walked away.

Now Nakul was genuinely mad. He was trying so hard to help Dhiraj. And here was Dhiraj walking away. In frustration, he screamed, "OKAY!! YOU DON'T WANNA TALK TO ME. THEN DON'T. I DON'T WANT TO EITHER." He was done with Dhiraj. 'If he doesn't want to talk about it. Fine. Let it be that way. It was just me who was desperate to find some solution. You don't want to talk. Then I won't talk to you.' And upon deciding that, he cleaned the table and went to bed without uttering even a word to Dhiraj.

The next day arrived, but Nakul still had a lingering sense of anger. His usual morning routine would include a good session of cuddling with Dhiraj, initiated by Dhiraj of course. But today the case was different. He was in no mood to talk with Dhiraj. So he quickly got done with the bath and started preparing for breakfast.

Although his hands were busy, in the back of his mind, he was waiting for Dhiraj to hug him from behind, nuzzle into his neck, plant some sweet-sweet kisses and say sorry so that they can get back to their daily lives. But he found it rather odd that there was no trace of a shirtless Dhiraj roaming around in the living room.

'He's not gonna talk to me? Even when he knows that I'm mad at him?!! Now that's too much.' Uneasiness engulfed Nakul and his anger rose. He had never expected Dhiraj to behave this way. In any other circumstances or with someone else, he would've let go of his anger within hours. But with Dhiraj, things were different. He felt he had some level of right to get angry with Dhiraj.

More minutes passed by as he waited for Dhiraj to come out of his room, but the man simply didn't show up. Finally Nakul was done with his breakfast and placed Dhiraj's portion on the diner. He was getting late for school but all he could think of was: 'even if he didn't wanna talk with me, he can at least show his face right?'

With that thought in his mind he went to Dhiraj's room. He heard a cough. 'Coughing?! He's awake.' Despite not wanting to give in first, Nakul knocked on Dhiraj's door, "Hey it's me." He waited for a few minutes for Dhiraj to open the door.

~No answer

That was it. The thin string that was holding Nakul's patience, broke. He has had enough. Anger seeped in again, as Nakul decided there was no use talking to this man. So in fury, he turned around and left for his work.

* * *

It was noon and Nakul was more restless than ever. He hadn't talked with Dhiraj since last night and that fact made him feel.....uneasy. Despite him wanting to be angry with Dhiraj, his heart couldn't help but feel that he should let off, forget what happened and get back to how things were before.

'Maybe things about his mom aren't that big of a deal. Maybe it is ME who's making a big deal out of it.'

So with those thoughts in his mind, Nakul picked up his phone and dialed Dhiraj's number. One ring goes....two ring goes...no answer. 'Now he doesn't even want to pick up my call?' He was ready to cut the call when a familiar voice answered: "Hello?! Nakul?"

It was Rajat. 'Why was he picking up Dhiraj's call?'

"Hey...I was....trying to get in touch with Dhiraj. Is he too busy?"

~Silence.

"Actually....Dhiraj collapsed. We are in the hospital now...." Rajat replied in a hesitant tone leaving Nakul in disbelief.

'He what?!' Nakul wasn't able to grasp what had happened to Dhiraj. He could feel his body turning stone cold. "How? What happened to him suddenly?"

"Ahh...actually he gets a fever when he's under immense stress. You know like...a stress fever. And this time....I guess he was under too much pressure." Rajat tried to explain his boss's constitution to Nakul.

"Stress? Are there some problems going on at the company?" Nakul had no idea what went wrong. Yesterday Dhiraj seemed to be totally fine. Rather he had so much energy that he led a meaningless argument with Nakul. 'Did I go too far yesterday? Was he under stress because of the things I said?'

Nakul's mind went into an overdrive mode, trying to figure out what the actual problem was. But never in a million years was he expecting what Rajat said next.

"Oh! You don't know?! It's his mom's death anniversary tomorrow. He gets real awful during this period of time. And I think...He was overthinking too much this time."

'Fuck. What have I done? Did I push him too far?'

* * *