Chapter 12

As I warned him, I realize how heartless I am for using him. And it was too dangerous for him to help me. I keep remembering his lifeless appearance in my nightmares. That terrified me when I thought about it.

But Brother Winslow gave a different reaction from what I hoped as he frown at my words.

"I saw how the maids pour cold water on you and push you yesterday. Why do they hate you so much?" He asked with a low tone.

I can feel that he is angry but there's nothing he can do to help me.

"Sometimes there is something that didn't have an answer."

I could only answer it like this because I also don't know another answer except for the fact that it was the plots of the game makers made in my previous life.

I took the thick book and tried to carry all of them, but I was only able to get two with a lot of effort.

Why do those books are so heavy? How could I take it all on time?

"Let me help you."

Brother Winslow started to carry the other four books, he took one book from me and took another three books.

"W-w-what are you doing!? I told you not to help me for your own good. Why do you still help me?" I shouted at him.

Why do you help me? You should care more about yourself. That's why you shouldn't help me. I don't want to give you more trouble. I don't want to see something like what I saw in my nightmare.

My mind became chaotic.

Why have I not thought about it before?

I know some information about the future. That's why I can make preparations and plans for the possible future. My mental age is much older than my appearance. That's why I could endure the unreasonable treatment they were giving to me.

But Brother Winslow is different. He is just a normal kindhearted child who sympathizes with Renneshia's (my) condition.

I don't want to become some ungrateful person that gives another person who helped me with trouble. I just realized that I am feeling like my thoughts become more and more like a two-year-old child. It feels like I have two thoughts with different views and experiences.

Maybe it's Renneshia's. I know how much she experiences hardships from the time she was born. And if I think about the game plots, she must be hoping for someone like Brother Winslow to be by her side. Sadly he never appeared in the game or maybe they were gone before they know each other.

"Didn't you also say that you don't want to be late for your class? I just do what you say." He said with a serious face.

"…" I am speechless.

I think I (Renneshia) will cry if I argue with him. My head throbbed and I feel really sad and guilty.

"Un, let's go. Thank you, Brother Winslow." After I calmed myself, I could only thank him.

***

With Brother Winslow's helps, I am able to arrive before the tutor came.

I thank him again and remind him to stay away from me. Getting too much help from him will only make me feel more guilty and it might make me change my mind about leaving this place.

Should I tell him to move away from this place too when I leave this place?

It adds more problems that I need to think about. I don't want to think that after I leave this place, the other servants will start to bully him because of how close he was to me. Will they treat him horribly or maybe he will lose his job here?Give

As I keep thinking about the possibility of what might happen to Brother Winslow, the door is opened. The tutor came to the class and looked at me and the books.

"Have you finished my homework?" He asked while glaring at me.

"I-I'm sorry, Sir. T-there's a part that I u-unable to understand. I-I am sorry for being unable to read it. I'm sorry." I could only act like this.

It's the most logical thing to do right now. Logically speaking, how can you ask a two-year-old child who just learned about the alphabet and numbers to read five encyclopedia-like books with a lot of difficult words? Sadly there's no such logic here.

"This is why a low-born thing like you should be trying harder. How lazy you are. Can't you even try it seriously? Trash like you should be grateful for the Viscount's kindness to let me teach you. Why don't you act more diligent and work harder? You should be ashamed…" The tutor started to lash me with his words.

I really don't know what to say. He is dissing me with every single word that comes from his mouth. His dirty words made me realize how important to keep our mouths clean. I need to clean my teeth with the salt if I can get it.

My mind wandered through my previous life memories and I tried to remember whatever I could to help me and every single health care that I am able to remember.

"…You need to try harder and that's why I will give you another assignment that you need to finish it before the next class." He said while putting other encyclopedia-like books on the table.

"You must finish reading these books by the next class. As for your punishment for your laziness, give me your hands and pull up your sleeve. Quickly!" The tutor glared at me.

I could see the disgusted expression when he looked at me. But I only can do what he tells me and hold my hands out.

Slap.

Ouch! It's hurt!

He started hitting my hands with his teaching stick. He keep hitting until it started to bruise. I really want to know what are the game makers thinking when they write the plots. I feel like I can't feel my arms. Not only my arms that are hurting but also my head.

Did I think too much?

"I will stop for today because I never thought that you would be so stupid. Is this because of your dirty blood? It's disgusting about how you try to try to make an excuse like a human. You need to know your place. Don't forget about the assignments."

After he was satisfied with hitting and dissing me, he left the classroom. Leaving me with my injured hands and another five encyclopedia-like books. I could only try to take two books to my room first and get back to get the other.

"Who are you? Why do you holding that books? Are you a thief? How dare you steal from Viscount Ruach's house!"

A young maid came and started scolding me.

"Where're your parents? How dare they told such a small child to steal something."

She keeps talking without letting me explain.

I can only wait until she finishes what she wants to say.

"…Here, let me take it back to where you take it. This time I will let you go but you must promise me that you won't do it anymore…"

She said and took the book from my hands and she stopped talking while looking at my hands.

"Give it back to me! I didn't steal. It was the assignments that the tutor give me. If I don't finish reading all of the books he gave me, I will get more punishment." I tried to plead.

Even if I finished the assignment, I will still act like I have not finished it.

Because I know that I will get the punishment even when I am able to do it well.

That's why Renneshia in the game have low self-esteem.

She always pushed herself too hard and made others think that she was mocking them.

In the game, Renneshia always said that she was stupid, lazy or lacking every time the others praised her.

I realize that rather than she trying to mock or look down on the other nobles for their talent like how it's being described in the game, it's more because she always told like that.

As I remembered the smug face of the tutor as he scolded and dissed me before.

If I have to guess what happened in the game, I think that the tutor is angry about how talented Renneshia is.

Because she was able to finish the assignment that normally was impossible to do, he wanted to hide his inferiority and that's how he keep abusing her.

What they are doing is making Renneshia though lowly about her talents.

It makes me sad.

Why do they hate her so much?

And the tutor's words about my birth keep bugging me.

Is it related to my mother?

Is it because her family came from the Spirits Continent?

Are they discriminating against us because we don't have any blessings?

Ugh, my head is hurting like being hit by something.