Side Story - Certain Young Man Anguish

At first I don't know what to do as my mind suddenly gone blank when I saw him got hurt because it reminds me about her. Even when their gender, personality and relation are different, but why did I always saw her shadow overlapping with him?

My mind was blank but my body moved on it's own to prevent his body from falling. He looks so tattered and there still some blood stains on his mouth. Why did he always try to act strong and try to do everything by himself?

Maybe because he always do everything by himself so he reminds me of her...But what is this feeling that I feel every time I saw him?

When Ludger suddenly closed his eyes and make me feel panic. At first I thought he was in critical condition but later I realized he was sleeping. 

Looking at his peaceful face and soft breathing, I felt relieved. 

And watching his face closely make me want to question his real identity. After all, he has such beautiful face that even rivals most women in this world. Besides he was so light and shorter if he was compared with other boys around his age. Also why he smells so nice even when he was tattered like this...

"...!" I then realized that I just thought about something crazy about my new friend. 

While I feel complicated every time I saw Ludger, I also know I just thinking of him as my most precious one replacement. I couldn't understand why I had such feelings but I couldn't help to wanting to get closer to him. 

It was a strange feeling that made me doubt my own preference for partner. But every time I thought about him, I could feel my heart beat faster as if it would explode. My eyes keep following him as if I didn't want to lose him from my sight.

As my thoughts go wild with him in my hand, suddenly I remembered something I want to forget. 

'It was all because Leo recommended that weird book to me before. If only I didn't went to that bookstore with her and read it...' I lamented as I remembered what happened a week after they arrived in this city. 

***

It was a sunny day.

A week after they arrived in the Labyrinth City. It was the day he followed Leona to the famous Green Sea Merchant Group Store. Edgar and Rainold decided to followed her because they were interested and curious about the famous books written by the famous writer, Nero.

Edgar became interested because Leona keep praising his works and tells him how mysterious he was. Actually he didn't interested when he listened about it for the first time, but Leona keep acting strange when he asked about the book content and trying to change their conversation topics. As the mystery pick his interest, he became more and more curious about it. 

After able to settle in Labyrinth City safely, Leona started to act strange. At first, she talked with the people from this city secretly and tried to hide her conversation from both of them. She keep acting strange until it reaches its peak at that morning and made me decide to secretly follow her until we arrive at the entrance of that book store. 

"So, Leo, why are you acting suspiciously if you only want to come to buy some books here?" Edgar tapped Leona's shoulder. 

"Wah! E-Ed! Why did you also here?!" Leona extremely surprised and shouted. 

"We just wondered what you tried to hide from us. But it was unexpected because it just a bookstore. You are really strange. Haha..." Rainold who followed Edgar because he also curious about Leona's strange behaviour laugh. 

"Shut up you muscle head! What do you know about how great that person master piece?! Even if you read it, you won't be able to understand his greatness!" Leona angrily said. 

"How could you say that! We won't know if we didn't read it first, isn't it?" Rainold proudly said. 

"You...you can't read it!" Leona answered with flustered tone and her face became red as if she was embarrassed.

'Her reaction is really suspicious. Did she try to hide it? Or maybe she didn't want us to read it? But then why she energetically tell us about it before?' Edgar wonder as he saw how Leona react. 

Edgar and Rainold quite surprised when he saw Leona unusual reaction and how flustered she was when she couldn't hide it from them anymore. Because even if she want to try to prevent them from going to the store, they might be return to this book store later, when she couldn't go together with them and read or buy it.

"Hmm... Dear customers, is this your first time seeing this masterpiece?" 

Suddenly the store clerk come to their direction because Leona make ruckus. Although he had a gentle smile on his face, but his eyes seemed to threatening and scolding them to not disturbing the other customers. 

The three of them quickly apologize for the disturbing the other customers and feel embarrassed. Then Leona have a quick recovery as she saw the pile of the books that were surrounded by a lot of people. While mostly females who are surrounding that section, but there also some male who have similar vibe trying to get that book. 

It was the first time I saw something like that happened outside of the battlefield. They look like a predators fighting for a prey. It looks brutal and unbelievable sight. 

"Do you think we need to help Leo to get that book?" Rainold asked as if he doubt what happened in front of us.

"...I don't think we will able to help her with anything." 

I don' want to try to go to that dangerous area. That's why me and Rainold decided to look around the other books in this store.

Every single books in this store have a suspicious or ambiguous title. The writer name also sounds like a fake name. Like how no one except for the high rank person in this store had never see the famous writer 'Nero' appearance or the other writer. 

'How suspicious. What is the real identity of all the writer of all those books? What kind of book it was to make them act like that? Is this some kind of forbidden book?' 

I decided to try to read one of the book in front of me.

"...!!! Th-This is..." I regret to open and read it, but strangely I can't stop reading it.

"Ed, are you alright? Did you get sick?" Rainold asked with worried expression. 

"Eh?!! No. I'm fine. You don't have to feel worried about my condition because my blessing make me unable to get sick. Did you forget about it?" I asked him because it was unexpected question from him.

"No, I remember that you have that blessing but why do your face got so red as if you are having a fever? Is something dangerous in that book you are holding?" Rainold asked with serious expression. 

"Well, it was quite dangerous in different ways...No, I mean it was a normal book. But I think it will be better if you didn't read it." I decided to tell him my opinion because I don't want him to read such book that might broke his mind. 

"So there's really something wrong with that book." Rainold nodded his head and suddenly took the book that I am holding. 

"Wait, don't read it!" I tried to warn him. 

But it was too late because he had already reading it. 

"Th-Th-This...!" Rainold quickly closed the book and throwing it away to my direction with red face.

'Did my face turned red like that when I read this book too?' I wonder what kind of expression that shows up when I read it.

It was unexpected because the book was actually an erotic book. And it have unexpected content because it was written to make the reader able to imagine the content easier than the other books with similar genre in this world. 

We decided to wait quietly until Leona finish buying her books. And both of us need to wait for around half an hour until she get the book she wants. 

"Are you really reading such books?" Rainold asked with disturbing gaze at Leona who had a wide smile while hugging her book like some extremely precious treasure. 

"Hmm, what do you know about Sir 'Nero' masterpiece?! Don't think it was similar or the same with the other book from the other writer! It was not as vulgar as those books! See!" Leona angrily show the book cover. 

'The Adventure of the Hero King and the Five Knights' was what written on the book cover. 

"It is written as volume fifth. Then do you have the first volume?" I asked because I feel curious. 

"Of course! I always brought it with me because I want to always able to appreciate it!" Leona proudly said.

"Then you can let me borrow it and read it, right?" I smile as her expression quickly change.

But I never thought it had more dangerous content than those erotic books. 

***

I really regret reading that book. 

Right now I don't know how to stop my mind from remembering the content of that damn book.

'No. No. No! Why do I remembered that part? Ugh...I have to admit that Ludger have a beautiful face and slender body that might make some people think he was a woman...Argh! What I'm thinking about my friend...I need to get myself together. Didn't I already promise to love her even if she hate me...Besides Ludger is a man and I don't have such preference like those characters...' Edgar feel anguish because he started to doubt his sexual preferences whit Ludger in his hands. 

'There's no way I like another man!' His inner thought scream.