25. Fixing the Script of Knives Out.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters and works. If you recognize it from somewhere else, surprise, it isn't mine.
________________________
Recap of the previous chapter –
Mark gets ready for the meeting with Evelyn, they head out, she notices that Mark is behaving more intimately with her. She likes that he is showing his affection for her, he holds her hand.
They go to meet Uncle Steve and finish the paperwork for Eidolon Entertainment, and Mark inquires about the other task he had handed to them. Harry replies that it's done and after the details from him, Mark decides on ruining the DCU. Just so that he can later on take over.
.
..
_________________________
..
.
~ Jess's POV ~
..
.
Date: April 15th, same day.
.
Location: In her shared room with Melissa.
.
Time: 06:47 pm
.
..
Jess sits in front of her personalized work area with a typewriter in front of her. Something about writing on one just soothed her mind, her dad was a writer as well.
Many of her fond childhood memories were of her sitting on her dad's lap as he typed away, writing his new book's draft. Telling her of the new story he had come up with.
She intimately knew of the struggles of a writer from a very young age. She admired her dad and wanted to be like him, but she wanted to be even better.
She wanted to have a "list of New York bestsellers to her name and awards winning novels" - that was her dream.
She thought it was going to be an arduous task, which she would be chasing her whole life. She couldn't believe how much her life taken a turn after joining the group, which Sarah dubbed the "Inner Circle".
Likewise, she didn't think of it as much at the start, but under the tutelage of Mark and support from the group. She was already close to fulfilling the first part of her dream, with her recent novel - Atomic Blonde: The Coldest City.
Summary - November 1989. Communism is collapsing, and soon the Berlin Wall will come down with it. But before that happens, there is one last bit of cloak & dagger to attend to.
Two weeks ago, an undercover MI6 officer was killed in Berlin. He was carrying information from a source in the East - a list that allegedly contains the name of every espionage agent working in Berlin, on all sides. No list was found on his body.
Now Lorraine Broughton, an experienced spy with no pre-existing ties to Berlin, has been sent into this powder keg of social unrest, counter-espionage, defections gone bad and secret assassinations to bring back the list and save the lives of the British agents whose identities reside on it.
Her debut novel did well, but it still missed the mark. But this one gave her hope to achieve the first step of her dream. Her confidence was further bolstered by Sarah's analysis.
According to her, Atomic Blonde had over 90% chances of becoming a New York bestseller and from what she knows after spending over two years together. She had learned that Sarah is almost never wrong in her analysis.
The few times her analysis were proved wrong happened due to abnormalities, such as the sudden outbreak of a scandal of a lead actor, causing a movie that she banked on to lead the box office to fall to the very bottom of the list.
Even she can't predict the schemes and underhanded manipulation of public opinion by the media giants.
It's why Mark was desperately trying to establish and grow his own media entertainment group. Instead of just sticking to the simple studio model.
When she asked Sarah why she thought this one would do better, all she answered was that the theme of my story; a Cold War spy story, was more of a hot topic with the readers recently.
Also, that my protagonist, closely resembled Alice from Mark's hit novel series, Resident Evil. With both of them being certified badass, competent fighters that could hold their own as strong independent women.
And with the current sales trajectory of Atomic Blonde, Sarah had calculated that it should take at most 3 more weeks for my graphic novel to enter the bestsellers list.
She stopped ruminating about her recent novel and focused on the script of Knives Out that she was tasked with "fixing".
'I have just three days to fix the script, just by myself it would have been a stretch.'
But after the hour-long discussion, she had about the script with Peggy. She felt like she could finish it in less than two.
She couldn't help but admire the skill and talent of her senior.
'So this is what it feels like to work with a pro.'
'But still, the difference shouldn't be this stark.' She thought to her herself as she assessed her new co-workers.
'Maybe it's because, as Mark said, these people he is trying to recruit are really some of the best out there.'
'Just unfortunate enough to not have the opportunity to make their mark on Hollywood or out of work.' she couldn't help but think about that at the end.
It is one of the things that made her really glad she befriended Mark and the others and became a part of the "Inner Circle".
They don't ever have to worry about whether they will get a chance to display their talents. With Mark at the helm, they could rest easy and just focus on their own tasks.
Coming back to her current task, Peggy had let her know of a thing that had become an issue with the film critics in recent years.
"Exposition", the critics recently, have shown a dislike towards obvious or forced exposition in films, when the characters are introduced to the story.
Mark did quite smoothly in the less time he had in the film script, but it could definitely be improved upon. She rewrote the part where members from the Thrombey family introduce themselves.
She had lieutenant Elliott explain the protocol to record their meetings with a brief introduction about themselves for evidence.
Along with it was another line from the lieutenant that went unnoticed. The subtle insult that Lieutenant Elliott delivers at Harlan's kids was uncalled-for at that moment in time of the plot.
Sure, Linda dubiously claimed that her business was self-made, but that's not what prompts the comment.
It sounds more like something that Elliott would have said if Walt (the uncle) tried to say that he was a self-made man right after Linda's interview.
The rest of parts of that scene are alright, but she will have to go over a fine comb to keep it up to standard.
The next problem was also something that Peggy pointed out. The other subordinate police officer, Mr. Wagner, was unnecessarily shown as incompetent for believing in fortune-tellers and mediums.
The joke according to her could be better delivered if not totally taken out. Maybe she could replace the joke scene here for a small exposition scene.
Where the young inspector Wagner introduces himself to Blanc claiming himself to be his fan and then Blanc can ask him if he's newly joined the police force which he replies in confirmation.
Then comes the mother of all plot devices: Marta's regurgitative reaction to lies. Seriously, what kind of mind thinks of bizarre ideas like these? 'Anyway, let's get back on track.'
She will have to make changes to Marta's claim, make her oversell the fact that she can't even stand the thought of a lie.
Whereas in truth she has it much more under control now with a lifetime of experience having to control her vomit.
Now only an outright lie causes her to vomit, and even then she can hold it together for a minute or two under pressure.
This information will have to be smoothly inserted in her conversation with Harlan, either before or after his supposed poisoning.
That reminds her of Harlan's suicide, the blood splatter that nobody really pays attention to in the book.
But the way Mark worded it, Marta was at the other end of the room near the door. For the blood splatter to have traveled the entire room and landed on Marta's shoes is a little bit of a stretch.
She can just stand near their checker's table while it happened, then make her way outside.
Another thing that Mark missed inserting from the book was the explanation about Harlan's condition after the supposed poisoning.
Because he should never have felt the symptoms, so there was no reason why he would take his life.
But the conversation where Blanc explains to Marta about the placebo effect, where Harlan's brain might have tricked him into feeling like he really did OD on morphine.
And the symptoms for morphine OD and old age are very similar, so his brain could have been easily tricked.
This really important conversation was missing from the script. She wrote it in at the end, where Marta and Blanc are having a final talk before farewell.
She added another scene where Blanc can be seen trying to pick Ransom's door, but then notices an open window which he uses to enter the house, searching through his room for some evidence.
Blanc does this after getting Marta's car checked for foul play and finds it tampered with by someone.
The way ransom just showed up in his car right on time when Marta couldn't get hers started was just suspicious. Especially after the will has declared her to be the sole inheritor of Harlan's properties.
But the time difference between the will reading and Marta getting to her car to escape the stir-crazy Thrombey family isn't big enough for Ransom to tamper with her car.
Unless ransom already knew about Marta being the one to get inheritance from Harlan in his will.
This made Ransom No. 1 suspect in Blanc's eyes, but there was still no concrete proof of his involvement in the murder. Aside from a missing bottle of alcohol, which proves nothing.
She inserts a scene where Marta can be seen catching Fran the housekeeper taking weed from her hidden stash. And doesn't confront her about it, as it's none of her business.
The scene of Meg hugging Marta and telling her about raiding Fran's stash also needs to be moved up earlier in the plot to not make it that obvious of a clue.
"Hmm, that should do it for now." She said stretch her neck and shoulder to avoid cramps.
"What? Are you done already?" Mel asked her, she was lounging on her bed reading a novel.
"Not completely, I have to go through it once more than show it to Peggy for a review. If she passes it, then I will be done." Jess explained, having already told her about their talented new co-workers.
.
..
.
..
.
{Author's Note: That's a wrap wow this was hell to get through. The small flaws were explained in a YouTube video but I had to watch it over 15 times just to select the one's i thought could be improved without changing the story too much and ruining its greatness.
There is a 2 part R-18 coming up after this chapter so if you don't like such content I will mark it in the chapter and you can easily skip it. Once again, thanks for reading my work.
I am entirely motivated by interaction, suggestions and feedback. Please leave a comment or review and i will probably write faster.
If you like my work please throw a power stone my way so my book can climb the rankings. I hope you all have a beautiful day.
Update schedule for this book: 1 chapter every 2 days.}