Chapter 5

TW: mentions of alcohol use, verbal abuse.

Cami was dealing with the newfound awkwardness of her father being home, and her mother just being quiet.

He didn't really talk to Camille, he just would grunt a hello and continue on his way.

Camille and Dean were named as the classes valedictorian and salutatorian. They received their caps and gowns today, then all of the seniors would begin practicing for graduation.

This was real.

Camille and Dean preparing their speeches, although Camille's was just a tad more important.

Camille was happy but she seemed like ever since her grandmas passing, she hadn't quite been herself, she was just a bit distracted and vague now.

Dean decided he'd take her on a date, do something fun, just something to get her mind off of everything.

And this was.....

The amusement park.

He held her hand as they walked through the park, he looked over at her and saw that she smiled for real, he felt like it had been a little while since she smiled like that.

He dragged her onto rollercoasters, and she screamed her lungs out, but he knew she enjoyed it. They bought food there, and it was the first time in a long time Camille had park food like that. Dean felt bad on the inside, even though his situation wasn't great either, his mom tried hard to make good memories with them, even if that meant doing something like the amusement park once every year.

He couldn't fathom how someone could just pay no mind to their own child.

He was driving her home, but when they pulled up she didn't get out. He looked at her wondering.

"I don't want to go in their, I had an amazing day today.... and she's going to ruin it, I know she will."

Dean nodded and said.

"I don't know if we should go back to my place.... how about a hotel?"

Camille nodded.

They found the nearest hotel and got out, luckily, you only had to be 18 to book a room here.

They took their key and rode the elevator to their room.

Camille stepped in first, it was a very nice room, white curtains, tile flooring in the bathroom and a big shower, carpet in the bedroom area, and a flat screen TV mounted onto the wall. And one thing in particular that you couldn't miss. A King sized bed in the middle of the room, made to fit two people.

Camille stared at it for a little while, and Dean watched her. He chuckled and stepped in front of her.

"Go wash up."

There were pajamas provided by the hotel. Camille took her set and ran into the bathroom.

Dean smiled and sat down on the couch that was there. He waited almost impatiently for Camille to get out of the shower.

The thing was, is that he didn't know why he felt so impatient.

He got up and walked over to the bed flopping down.

About ten minutes later Camille got out of the shower. The pajamas the hotel gave for females were a little bit small for her size. Just slightly, so it made them tight in some areas.

She was drying the ends of her hair with a towel.

Her dark hair looking almost black in the lighting. Dean felt something within him change.

Camille approached him and sat her towel down on the bed. She looked at him and grinned.

"Your turn."

Dean was looking into her eyes.

"I think that can wait until later."

Camille looked at him confused.

Dean stood up wrapping his arms around her waist, then bending his head down to kiss her.

She kissed him back, and unlike before, this kiss went on for much much longer.

Camille found herself sitting on the huge bed and Dean kneeling over her. When they finally broke away Dean smiled sweetly at her

Then he layed beside her and played with the ends of her hair, Camille eventually fell asleep.

....

Dean woke up first. Camille, her hair still a bit damp lay on his arm, and her arms hugged his body.

She was wrapped in the covers, sleeping so peacefully.

Dean sat up and looked around the room, a feeling of serenity. He hadn't felt this way in a while.

The movement woke her though. She stretched and yawned.

Dean turned and played back down.

He smiled at her. "Good morning sunshine."

She smiled back at him before feeling a little embarrassed. She turned her head away.

But he grabbed her chin pulling her back towards him.

"Are you being shy right now?"

Camille nodded. "I can't help it."

Dean bent his head down and kissed her again.

"Well don't be, what about when we're married, are you still going to be shy then?"

Camille laughed and smiled at his comment.

~Married~ she thought.

Dean climbed out of the bed grabbing all his clothes and a towel to go take a shower since he never took his last night.

Camille got up and grabbed all of hers as well, She got dressed and made the bed while waiting for him to be done.

It wasn't a long shower and he came out the bathroom dressed now, drying his head with a towel.

Camille had brushed hers out.

They left the hotel and went back to his house.

When he walked in his mother rushed towards him not seeing Camille behind him.

"Dean! where were you! I was worried sick! you can't just not come home and not answer your phone at that!"

Dean grinned and then said to her.

"Ask that one behind me."

Camille felt like her face lit up red.

"Dean!!" She whispered. He just laughed.

His mother watched the two of them, getting the hint of what may have happened and why Dean didn't come home.

Dean went out to get something from the store, his mom sent him purposefully.

Camille sat at the kitchen table, Samantha came and sat across from her.

She smiled at her warmly.

"So you and my son, you guys didn't go home because you did that last night didn't you?"

Camille nearly choked on her spit she was so embarrassed. "No, no, nothing happened."

"Aww darling don't be embarrassed, it's a natural part of human life, but I would rather that you guys be careful, consider things like birth control and protection. You both are so young, I wouldn't want you to get trapped in a situation the way I did... Dean is a good boy, but it's always better to be safe than sorry".

Camille nodded feeling to awkward to defend against the situation and Samantha patted her head before getting up and continuing to clean the kitchen.

Dean arrived not long after their conversation. He had gotten groceries and after helping his mom out with something else quick. He and Camille left again.

He felt good about leaving his mom there with just his sister. Ever since he'd beaten his father up, he only came home quietly to have dinner sometimes and then he'd leave again. He no longer came home drunk, and he didn't threaten Samantha anymore.

Dean dropped Camille off at home, though she really didn't want to go back, she got out the car with a smile.

She waved until he was gone down the road and then she unlocked the door and stepped into her house. Except it wasn't so grey and dreary. It looked like her mother had actually went and bought furniture to decorate.

There was color.... there was warmth... and there was a very angry mom standing in the kitchen waiting for their child to come in.

"Where the hell were you?"

Camille sighed. The house changed, but not her mother.

"I was out with Dean..."

"Out where? being out with him doesn't mean not coming home over the night!"

"Mom please! "

"Please what, I should be the one saying please, you act as if I bother you, I'm stuck with an ungrateful bitch. I should've gotten an abortion."

It felt like a slap across the face to Camille. And all the happiness she experienced faded away, she felt the crushing weight placed back into her chest.

She couldn't even form tears at this point. She just nodded and simply walked away.

7 more days until school is over....

But she felt the urgency to get away from her mother.

Another day passed by and her mom continued being so evil towards her, it made things worse too when she had opened a college letter from one of the colleges she really wanted to get into... denied... they told her she was impressive, but they had many different students with the same achievements and they couldn't accept everyone.

She felt like everything was crumbling around her. She'd been left alone with her feelings even though Dean said he'd be there for her, he was really busy this past week. He had no time to text, he too was helping his mother, preparing for college, preparing for the graduation. She didn't want to blame him though.

Her father showed up again. He came back telling her mother he was sorry. He'd come back from a mountain climbing trip, his cables and ropes and gears all thrown into their foyer.

She didn't expect her mother to be happy, but she wasn't angry either. They just went and talked. Camille stayed upstairs she had nothing to say to either of them. Camille could hear faint yelling.

Another day passed, another argument. Her father sped off in his car... she didn't know if he was leaving again or not.

Her mother was drinking, something she'd never seen her do. She had mascara running down her face, she looked like a movie scene.

Camille stood staring at her.

"YOU! ITS YOUR FAULT!! YOUR THE REASON I'M STUCK WITH HIM!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE!!"

Camille didn't even feel anything. For her, the house had become grey and dreary again... everything was dark, nobody was on her side. She had no one but Dean, and she refused to burden him with her problems...

Her mother ran to her room with the alcohol bottle and slammed the door shut.

Camille was once again left alone. The words echoed in her head. ~Die, you should just die.... why can't you die.... do everyone a favor and dissappear.... they hate you... your such a problem... die... die.... die~

She dropped to the ground, she couldn't take it anymore. She'd been dealing with her mother's pent up hatred for years, and now it was finally let out. She couldn't do it anymore, she couldn't live with her any longer, she couldn't deal with having her as a parent for the rest of her life.... she couldn't do it anymore..

She opened the closet where her father had thrown his climbing gear.... where the ropes were.

She grabbed one, tearing the packaging off of it.

She trudged slowly up the steps...

Into the darkness of her room. The moon shone through her curtains, she felt completely and utterly empty... she didn't want to burden anyone anymore, not even Dean.... she already felt that the way she depended on him was extremely unhealthy.

....

TW: suicide

The rope tied to the metal bar of her curtain rod, high enough that if one were to hang onto it they wouldn't touch the ground.

Camille tied the other end to her neck. She stood on the window sill. Just as she was about to step off. She couldn't do it... she thought about Dean... she thought about how hurt he would be to lose her, he was just talking about marriage with her the other day.

But she felt that was all the more reason to do it... she wouldn't make him happy in the long run, if they married and had to deal with each other every day... see each other every day... he'd end up hating her just like her mom and her dad did.

She took a deep breath. Tears dripping down her face. She tried multiple times and still hesitated.

The words echoed in her ears.

~Die! Why won't you just die?, DIE!!!~

And she stepped off the ledge. Her feet now in the air, no longer able to get back onto the window sill. She struggled for a few minutes. The breath leaving her body, her insides burning as she gasped for air. The pressure she felt as her body told her it needed oxygen... and then it slowly started to fade away... she started to feel nothing, and her legs no longer flailed.

Tears still rolled down her face and she thought for the last time. ~I love you Dean~

And everything faded into darkness...