Chapter 11 The Pacific Northwest

Disclaimer: Don't play with high explosives, it may be fun . . . really fun . . . really really really fun. But it's also dangerous and illegal . . . damn it.

"Ready for your first assignment?" The Professor asked seriously.

"We are," Hermione confirmed.

"We are," Tonks agreed.

"Sure," Luna said with a grin.

"Then listen closely," the Professor began. "Your first assignment . . ."

"Yes," Tonks prompted.

"Is to get those damned Australian boaters to stop having parties at the edge of the wards," the Professor said quickly. "Everyone else feels a horrific sense of dread at the edge of the wards, damned boaters just think it's a cool place to have a cold one."

"Uh . . . " Remus glanced at his companions. "We were hoping to be assigned to look for Harry Potter . . . or something similar."

"Fine," the Professor said. "You do that then, go find Henchgirl and get something from her or something . . . don't even worry about the boaters . . . just leave me here all alone."

"Ok," Luna agreed with a perky smile. "Bye bye."

The Professor watched as the blond dragged her friends out of the room, "but . . . you weren't supposed to agree."

IIIIIIIIII

For the first time in months, Harry allowed himself to be a normal tourist. He spent the morning in an open air market and then rode the monorail to the space needle.

"Afternoon," Harry greeted a uniformed police officer.

"Hello," the police officer replied. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Just noticed that the tracks got really close to each other back there and I was wondering how you keep the two trains from crashing into each other when they pass at that point?"

"I don't know," the police officer said after a moment of thought. "I'd guess that the engineers know what they were doing though."

"I guess," Harry agreed, mentally making a note to have the Professor take a look at some future point in time.

After his conversation with the police officer, Harry decided to explore the grounds around the Space Needle. Harry found himself in front of the Museum of Science Fiction after a few minutes of wandering, and decided to take a look.

"I've got to tell the Professor about this place," Harry mused to himself as he looked at another exhibit. "What the hell is a wood beast?" Pulling his mind away from the mystery, Harry continued his tour and was soon out of the museum. "Too small," Harry summed up the experience. "But it had some interesting things in it I guess." Harry nervously pulled out his guidebook and flipped to the section on Seattle, "nope . . . not gonna do that . . . hell no . . . hmmm, that doesn't seem so bad." Harry mused, "and neither does that." His mind made up, Harry pulled out his motorcycle and pulled into traffic.

A few minutes of riding brought Harry to his next destination, the Nordic Heritage Museum housed in what looked like an old school house. Harry spent several minutes examining the boat outside the main building before finally walking in.

"Good afternoon," the girl at the counter said with a smile. "Is this your first visit?"

"Yes it is," Harry agreed. "I'm on vacation and when I saw this place in the guide book I had to come."

"We're always glad to hear things like that," the girl said happily. "Was there anything in particular that you wanted to see?"

"I was hoping that I could get someone to look at an old belt axe I picked up in Scandinavia," Harry replied. "Other than that, I just wanted to have a visit."

"Do you have it with you?" The girl asked.

"Sure," Harry reached into his coat and pulled out his axe.

"You had that under your coat?" The girl said dully.

"Uh." Harry had forgotten that he was in a non magical area. "I ride a motorcycle, it was easier to put it there while I rode then to bury it in my pack."

"I guess that makes sense," the girl said slowly. "Now let me get a closer look at it." The girl examined the axe for several minutes. "You wouldn't have happened to have gotten this thing near Geilo would you?"

"Maybe," Harry said with a shrug. "Why?"

"Something I can't quite remember," the girl replied. "I've got a specialist coming in for a lecture in a few days, could you come back then?"

"I'm just passing through," Harry said. "But I could leave it here."

"How would you get it back?"

"I'll leave a business card," Harry said. "You can contact me when you're done with it and I'll arrange a pick up then."

"If you're sure," the girl said as she took Harry's card. "Thank you Mr." She squinted at the card. "Black."

"No problem," Harry said, happy that someone didn't know of his fearsome reputation. "And have a good day."

"Be sure to check out the boat in the next room," the girl called after Harry.

Harry spent several minutes wandering around the museum and eventually found himself in front of a blacksmithing exhibit. "Wrong kind of vice," Harry muttered to himself. "Should be a post . . . damn, I've been spending way too much time around the Professor and Henchgirl if I can spot something like that." Harry was about to continue his self guided tour when his zippo began to vibrate. "Yes?"

"It's me," Henchgirl's voice replied. "You're in Seattle right?"

"Yup."

"Would you mind dropping by the locks and getting a few pictures?" Henchgirl asked hopefully.

"Sure," Harry agreed. "I'll swing by them on my way out of town."

"Thank you," Henchgirl replied. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Not yet," Harry said.

"THEN GO DO IT," Henchgirl yelled. "If you don't eat enough then you'll waste away to nothing, you don't have me there with you making yummy vitamin drinks . . . unless you want me to join you?" Henchgirl finished hopefully.

"Maybe in a couple days," Harry replied. "It's not that I don't like spending time with you and the others but . . ."

"But everyone needs some alone time once and a while," Henchgirl finished. "Your friends Hermione and Luna have taken jobs at Black Ink."

"Doing what?" Harry asked quickly. "And shouldn't they still be in school?"

"Hermione took her tests early and Luna took hers in first year," Henchgirl replied. "They're going through training at the moment . . . that Granger girl is . . . well, just don't ever let her play with explosives and you'll live a much happier life."

"Do I want to know?" Harry asked with a sigh.

"I doubt it," Henchgirl said with an unseen shrug.

"Then don't tell me," Harry said quickly.

"Ok," Henchgirl agreed. "I almost forgot, we've got something new for you."

"What?"

"Well, a few days ago the Doctor showed the Professor and me a rather interesting Muggle program." Henchgirl said enthusiastically. "Some of the science was a bit iffy but there was one thing in the show that we both had to have."

"What?" Harry asked with growing dread.

"Something called a Swiss Army Knife," Henchgirl replied. "So after a bit of research, we found that they're made by a couple of companies and we bought one of everything they had."

"Oh," Harry said as his heart rate began to slow.

"The only problem was that they were missing quite a few useful things and that some of them were a little large to store in a pocket." Henchgirl continued, "but we've solved those problems."

"Good to hear," Harry said. "Good job."

"It's coming through," Henchgirl said suddenly.

"Got it." Harry's trained reflexes allowed him to snatch it out of the air.

"And the manual," Henchgirl said.

"Got it." Harry's muscles bulged under the weight of the massive manual. "Couldn't you have shrunk it?"

"We did," Henchgirl said with a laugh. "The knife has every tool we could think of and a few other things like a spare wand, monster, that sort of thing."

"Mons . . ." Harry caught himself before he finished asking the question. "Thanks Henchgirl."

"You're welcome," Henchgirl said happily. "Stay in touch, bye bye."

"Bye Henchgirl," Harry said with a smile. Harry walked out of the museum and rode his motorcycle down to the locks. "I'm glad Henchgirl had me visit these," Harry said to himself as he used his tape recorder to take a few pictures. "And I wish I'd remembered to get a new camera," he added as another group of people stared at him with odd looks. "Ah well."

Harry took a few more pictures before hopping on his motorcycle and heading south.

IIIIIIIIII

"Sir," the trooper called to his boss. "Black's just crossed the border into Oregon."

"Good," the head of Magical Law Enforcement said with a smirk. "He's not my problem anymore . . . what's the butcher bill?"

"We're still compiling it sir," the man said quickly.

"Give me what you've got."

"Three muggers slipped on banana peels and impaled themselves, one slipped on a patch of ice . . . "

"How the hell does Black expect us to think that's an accident?" The commander growled, "Sure it's cold but it's still a bit early for ice."

"Some sort of weird micro climate," the underling explained. "The specialist we consulted said it happened more than we'd realized."

"Get on with it."

"One man slipped and fell into a wood chipper and DNA confirms that he's an ex-concentration camp guard that's been on the run for fifty or so years. Other than that sir . . . well, Harbor Patrol's been finding a number of corpses floating around."

"And we had men watching him at all times?"

"He wasn't out of sight for more than a few minutes at a time sir and we detected no magic."

"Damn . . . they told me he was good but I never believed anyone could be this good." The Commander leaned back in his chair. "See if you can get the department a few slots at his school, I want us to put as many men through it as we can."

"Yes sir."

IIIIIIIIII

Tonks stepped out of the shower and spent several minutes staring into the mirror. "Did I get it all out?"

"I think so," an extremely sooty Luna replied. "But I don't know why you bothered, I rather like this look."

"Well I don't," Tonks said with a look at Hermione.

"I said I was sorry," Hermione muttered.

"Next time someone asks if you want to play with Nitroglycerin you say no," Tonks said firmly.

"But I didn't think they were serious," Hermione protested.

"Even if you don't think it's really nitroglycerin you don't throw mysterious bottles full of mysterious things at the wall and yell 'heads up.'" Tonks growled.

"But that didn't do anything to either of you," Hermione said with a weak smile.

"She's right," Luna agreed. "It was the force of the blast knocking over the table covered in bottles of nitroglycerin that caused us to fly through that wall."

"At least the wards prevented any serious injuries," Hermione said.

"Grrrr," Tonks just ground her teeth together.

IIIIIIIIII

Elsewhere, a jar of mayonnaise was starting to grow fuzz. But that's not important, at least not yet.

Harry pulled off the highway and pulled out his guidebook. After flipping through the section on Portland he was about to pull back into traffic when a small notation caught his eye.

Powells Books, over one million titles. One of the more interesting examples of the use of magic in mundane environments is the way Powells books uses several spells to manipulate the size of their store, making the inside many times larger than its outward appearance . . .

. . . Powells is located near Pioneer Square. The best way to get there is to avoid traffic and take the Metro, Portland's efficient train system.

"Why not," Harry asked himself. Harry pocketed his motorcycle and walked to the suspiciously convenient station.

AN: Well, here's this part. All I gotta do is get Harry to an amusement park, through the Donner pass maybe, to a convention center, through the superstition mountains, and to texas, and this story will be drawing to a close . . . maybe.