Chapter XXII

Sheldon walked out of the CO's office and sighed. Penny was definitely not going to like this—he found himself thinking that a lot after getting deployment orders—a month in Africa, training Ugandan special operations to fight against the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA). But while Penny wasn't gonna like it, he hated being the one to tell Raj and Emily he'd miss their wedding. He didn't like to let people down. He had two weeks to prepare then he would be off to Kaweweta.

"I heard you're going to Africa," Michael told him when they were in the mess after work.

Sheldon chuckles, "Word travels fast around here, doesn't it? How long before the entire base knew that Val was pregnant again?"

"After we told you guys, about 16 hours or about as long as Val was in labour with Alex." Sheldon laughed again.

"So you're huntin' Kony?"

The Texan shook his head, "Nope, just training the good guys, but honestly who the fuck knows? I might be there for two weeks and then they'll be like, 'Lieutenant, Kony was spotted, come with us!' Again, who knows," he shrugs.

Michael laughs as he finishes off a Gatorade, "I'm telling ya, Doc, life with you is never boring. If you come back with Joseph Kony's head, I'm pretty sure they'll make you General of the Ugandan Land Forces or something. And the Pentagon will probably promote you to Captain a year early or better."

Sheldon snickers, "You've been watching way too many war movies, Mikey." "Speaking of war movies, I hear yours is coming along nicely."

"Not mine, Penny's. I am but her humble muse."

"Yeah, I bet the humble muse will get a hell of a going-away gift before he leaves too," Michael smirks.

Snickering, "Yeah… we tend to do that a lot, no pun intended."

On the drive home, Sheldon braced himself for a long talk with Penny but before he told her he went straight to Raj's place, he deserved the courtesy. When he arrived at Raj's apartment he was surprised to learn that Emily had moved in, which in all honesty shouldn't have, given that they were to be married in a few weeks and parents not long after.

"So, what's up?"

Sheldon took a deep breath, "I regret to inform you that I can't make your wedding on the 24th. I received a new deployment order today, and I'll be gone for a month. I'm sorry."

He saw the crestfallen look on both his friends' faces. "When do you have to leave?" Raj asked. "The 12th."

"Well, the hotel did say there was an opening in early March we can get married then, then you

could come." Raj looked at Emily who nodded.

Sheldon smiled appreciatively at the pair, "That's very kind of you, but don't rearrange your plans on account of me. It's just part and parcel of the uniform. I've missed a lot of things that I wish I didn't, and while Penny and my family and hers have tried to get me to retire, I don't think I can or if I do, I know within weeks I'll re-enlist."

"Why? What's so special about the military that you would be willing to give up precious family moments for?" Emily asked.

Sheldon chuckles mirthlessly, "The people. I don't know how to explain it but the Corps is special, we are the smallest by sheer number but we are also the first to be called upon and we've answered every call. I've seen people I know get hurt or die and… I just… I don't want that. So, I stay to make sure everyone who goes in, comes back, like a modern-day Odysseus. If that means I miss a few birthdays, weddings or whatever else is in store for me, I'll take it if I can ensure that all those that go in come back and can be with those they care about, then I've done my job."

After a while, Emily sniffles and sighs, "Okay, we understand. Go save the world and come back, we'll save a piece of wedding cake for you."

Sheldon smiles and bids the pair good night.

Arriving home, Sheldon winces when he realises the time. Penny's probably up waiting for him and is probably none to happy that he didn't call. Stepping into the living room, he sees Penny flipping through the TV with the volume on low.

"You're late," her voice devoid of emotion, she wasn't even looking at him. "I know, I had some bad news to break to some friends of ours."

Penny's expression softened, "Oh no, what happened?"

He takes a deep breath, "I have some business in Africa, I'll be gone for a month so I can't make Raj and Emily's wedding."

Worry immediately overtook Penny's face, "Is it another clandestine operation or can you tell me about it?"

"I'll be training Ugandan special forces for a month. I don't anticipate any combat primarily because the US isn't a declared belligerent. It's more of an advisory role." Sheldon saw his wife relax.

"When do you have to leave?" "The 12th."

She nods, taking a deep calming breath, stands and cups his face and pulls him down for a long lingering kiss, "Okay. You know the drill by now, come back to us whatever it takes. Just no bodybag."

"I'll try."

Penny shakes her head, "Do or do not. There is no try."

"Did you just quote Yoda?" Sheldon smiles down at her. She smiles back. "Do you know how hot that is?"

Penny smirks saucily, "Hot enough for you to ravish me nightly for the next two weeks?" "Will do." Sheldon grins.

For the next two weeks, Sheldon was dedicated to family time. When he wasn't pleasuring Penny, he spent time with Charlotte and Eleanor. Charlotte was at that inquisitive age where her questions were more in-depth in scope but still innocent in context, he thinks that if all goes well, they'll tell Charlotte what he does by the time she enters first grade. A couple of days before he was scheduled to leave, Charlotte knew he was leaving by the appearance of his sea bags. She asked him where he was going. This was one occasion he thought he could vaguely answer her and not traumatise her.

"Africa. I'll be back by Easter though."

"Africa? Isn't that the place with lions and zebras and hippos?" She asked curiously. He laughed, "Have you been watching Animal Planet?"

She shook her head, "No Daddy, The Lion King." He laughed even harder. "Yes, sweetheart I'm going to the land of lions, zebras, and hippos."

Charlotte thought for a moment bright eyes ever inquisitive, "Mommy says you protect people, do you also protect animals? Are you going to Africa to protect the real-life Simba from his uncle?"

Sheldon snickers under his breath so as not to sound incredulous and make his daughter think he was being rude, "Something like that," he finally settled on.

"Would you bring me back something from Pride Rock?" She pouts giving him devastating puppy dog eyes.

Sheldon internally laughs because Penny had warned him of Charlotte's new "superpower" and he is finally seeing it in action. "I don't think Pride Rock is real, sweetheart, but if I see Rafiki's tree, I'll take a picture of it for you." Sheldon knows that 'Rafiki's tree' is a baobab tree and there are several notable just south of Lake Victoria in Tanzania.

Charlotte perks up at that. "Deal!"

***

Sheldon is amazed by Ellie's development. His youngest daughter can at just under six months old say 'mama' and 'dada' and she attempts to say 'Charlotte' but it comes out more as a very long raspberry. But at least she recognises who her family is. And she can recognise her name, both the long and short forms. Ellie likes playing peek-a-boo, her aptitude with object permanence at such a young age makes him wonder if he should have her and Charlotte tested for giftedness. The fact that Ellie is displaying other traits infants older than she should have learned, such as getting to a sitting position by herself, supporting herself, and signalling if she wants to be picked up by raising her arms excites and terrifies him because soon she'll be walking and talking and like Charlotte start asking him the difficult questions. But for now, he takes comfort in the fact that Ellie is still small enough to need him and Penny. It's when they get older and discover—he shudders at the

thought, boys—that he knows he'll definitely look back on these moments and be thankful for them.

Penny, Charlotte and Ellie seeing him off at Miramar is rather unusual since he is usually gone by the time they wake up, but because his departure for this mission wasn't at the crack of dawn; Penny and the girls decided to accompany him.

He is holding Ellie, stroking her soft baby hair as Charlotte clings to his leg after giving him a goodbye hug and kiss. He leans over and gently kisses Penny before handing her Ellie and peeling Charlotte off him.

Penny helps him by holding her hand.

He gets down on one knee and kisses the top of Charlotte's head one more time. "Be good and I'll be bringing you Rafiki's tree, okay?"

With unshed tears, Charlotte wipes her eyes and nods. He gives her another hug. Standing up he kisses Penny one more time, this one longer and with more feeling.

"Come back to us, okay?"

"I will." He says with a smile as he ruffles Eleanor's hair as she babbles.

Uganda Special Forces School, Kaweweta, Uganda

After the short drive from Nakasongola Airport, Uganda's largest military airport to the school a little over an hour away, Sheldon took time to take stock of what was expected of him and the rest of Charlie Company over the next month. They would be teaching basic special operation tactics to a branch of the Uganda People's Defence Force (UPDF) that still relies heavily on Soviet-era and Russian weaponry. In the two weeks he had on base in the US, he had familiarised himself with many of their weapons in theory but picking up a Dragunov SVD and VSS Vintorez—two weapons he uses and prefers in Call of Duty—is entirely different. There are numerous variants of the AK assault rifle ranging from the trusty AK-47 to the AKM and the AK-74/M. He doesn't dislike the quality of the weapons the Ugandan Special Forces use, but after having AKs fired at him and Charlie Company before Christmas he thought if he ever saw a Soviet or Russian weapon again, he'd break it rather than train with it.

After inspecting the weapons, Sheldon meets with his Ugandan opposite, Lieutenant Robinson Fadhili, a tall man at around 6'4" with a crooked smile. While getting to know each other, Sheldon is somewhat shocked to learn that Robinson's father, Bakari was part of a small group of officers who plotted to but ultimately didn't follow through on a plot to assassinate then-leader Idi Amin in 1977. Robinson speaks English with a distinctly South African tilt since his mother and father were originally from South Africa but left because of Apartheid. Sheldon explains what is expected over the next four weeks, and when they finish, Sheldon and Robinson meet with the USF commander, a hulk of a man, Colonel Musa Zawadi. The commander tells him he is, "so thankful the Americans sent over their best to help us." Sheldon notices that the commander despite having the build of a linebacker needs reading glasses, as Sheldon goes over the plans again and hands the commander several administrative papers that require his signature.

Musa hands him back the administrative paperwork and tells him, "Our main training ground is two kilometres away from here, let's give you and your men the day to rest then start tomorrow.

Robinson can give you a tour of the grounds in the meantime."

"There wouldn't happen to be any baobab trees around here would there?" "Baobab trees?" Asked Musa confused.

Sheldon smiles, "I promised my daughter I'd take a picture of one for her as a present. She's three."

Musa and Robinson chuckle, "I'm afraid not, Lieutenant, there are plenty in Kenya and Tanzania, however. There is a very prominent one on the eastern tip of Lake Victoria in Kenya. While it's still daylight I would be happy to fly you over, with the commander's support of course. We are on better terms with Kenya than Tanzania at the moment," Robinson tells him.

Sheldon is touched by their hospitality but that's too much, "No, please that's too much. I'm here to train your men not grab a souvenir for my daughter."

Musa laughs heartily, "Nonsense, I have seven children of my own, I know the difficulties of being a parent too. Let Robinson take you, then you can come back with a clear head and we can begin tomorrow."

"Only if you don't think it's too much trouble."

Musa shakes his head, "For helping us, this is the least we can do. If your superiors ask I'll tell them you were being shown the extent of damage the war has caused aerially."

Sheldon laughs, and thanks the Ugandan commander. He and Robinson leave in a Bell helicopter

—the kind that TV stations have for traffic reports and police departments use for high-speed chases—and return within two hours, Sheldon has two pictures of a baobab tree for Charlotte, including one where he's posing in front of it.

"Africa geographically is absolutely stunning," he tells Robinson after they land back at the school.

Robinson chuckles, "We like it, we'd like it even better if we could develop and govern in peace."

Sheldon nods, "I get that, and hopefully by the time I leave I'll have provided you and your men valuable tools to conduct effective urban asymmetrical warfare."

"Here's hoping," Robinson laughs.

The Bellagio Hotel, Las Vegas

Las Vegas is not exactly the first destination that pops to mind as a family-friendly locale; it's hot, muggy, and way too bright. Penny wonders just how much electricity the city uses. But Charlotte and Ellie both adore the Bellagio fountains and Charlotte is pretty excited to be a flower girl again for the third time. Penny had never met any of Emily's family before—she'd never met anyone from Raj's family either—but she thought it was sweet that all of Emily's family showed up, she was somewhat disheartened that only Raj's mother and youngest sister, Priya, showed up though. Penny had been hoping that after meeting with Emily numerous times in the last month via Skype, Raj's father would have been moved enough to support his son and his choices but since she didn't know the elder Koothrappali enough, she decided that the best she and the rest of their friends could do is just be there for the shy astrophysicist.

After meeting Priya, Penny was glad that Sheldon was away, the girl in Penny's mind was a total man-eater. She should know, she was one until Sheldon came along. She was also glad that she was comfortable and confident in herself to not let the little tramp get under her skin about showing up at a wedding alone with two kids; that made her look desperate or so she heard Priya tell her mother. Penny didn't care to correct or mention that she was happily married, thank you very much, and she was here to support her friend—she just took Charlotte and Ellie by the hands and went back up to their room.

***

The Sweeney-Koothrappali wedding was beautiful. It was after all held at the Bellagio and not one of those tacky walk-in theme chapels. Penny had to stifle a laugh when Val seated next to her said it looked like Raj was marrying into the Weasley family—all gingers, all of them—Michael was less tactful. But Emily made a beautiful albeit untraditional-looking bride. She had chosen a loose, flowing dress that because of the setting and because of her hair, sort of made her look like a wood nymph. Raj opted for a grey suit with a burgundy tie.

But appearances aside, when it came time for the vows, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Emily looked up at her soon-to-be-husband's bright, wide smile, took a breath and spoke, "Rajesh, I know a beautiful soul when I see it. You, my husband, are the most beautiful soul I have ever met. I thank the Heavens for bringing you into my life and today I pledge with all my heart and soul that I will love you, the brilliant-minded gazer of stars; that I will cherish you, the lover of all things sappy; that I will support you, my beloved, until the end of my days."

Raj cleared his throat twice before reciting his vows, "Emily, I grew up in privilege and wealth, I had little want of anything, except to be loved. For years, I thought simply all I needed was the love of family, but while blood is thicker than water, all I really want is you. There is a lot in my life I should apologise for, but I will never apologise for loving you. On our wedding day and for the rest of my life, I will endeavour to show you what that means. You are undoubtedly the best thing to happen to me; meeting you, knowing you, and loving you is what makes my life worth living. I promise to be the man you want and never leave you questioning your value to me and the family we will inevitably build together. Today, what is mine is yours, and first and foremost is my heart. You are now the keeper of my heart until we part; cherish it as I cherish you."

After the rings were exchanged the first kiss was timed with a blast from the fountains in the background.

Kaweweta, Uganda

Sheldon couldn't believe he would be going home in a couple of days. He had enjoyed his time with the Ugandans—even if he wasn't super keen on the equipment they were using. Given the relative size of the UPDF to begin with, he thinks it's smart of them to incorporate asymmetrical tactics, it'll certainly even out the odds. But the Ugandans like many militaries that have majority Soviet and Russian weapons also follow Russian war doctrine, which is systemic, something that a mere month of training couldn't fix. However, he and the rest of Charlie Company spent as much time in the field as they did in the classroom. He was after all an academic at heart, if he couldn't use this opportunity to teach properly, then what good was his single year lecturing in Germany?

They had finished another round of seek-and-destroy using an abandoned village just on the outskirts of town as the staging ground. The USF's main task from here on out was to search for Joseph Kony in addition to urban combat support. After multiple S&D drills and other urban warfare tactics, if the Ugandans still can't find Kony, Sheldon believes it's because he paid off

tippers to stay one or two steps ahead; that or the Ugandans need better ground intel training— however, Sheldon was not qualified to teach intelligence gathering and analysis.

Based on what Sheldon has seen, however, the Ugandans are motivated to find Kony and end this… rebel insurgency; even if they can't find the mastermind, Sheldon knows that with constant training, motivation, and time the Ugandan forces can make the LRA nothing more than a nuisance with no real influence or threat to the overall rightful power structure. Given how hard they've drilled in the last month he has no doubt the Ugandans can do it.

A few hours before Sheldon and the rest of Charlie Company depart, his company and Robinson's company pose for group photos taken by the commander outside a barracks. Before he departs, Robinson extends a hand and shakes his warmly telling him with a smile, "When all this is over come back, I'll show you the real Africa."

Sheldon smiles, "I'll hold you to that." Then the two lieutenants render each other a parting salute and Sheldon boards the waiting C-130 for the long trip home. It'll take two days to get home but, at least he's going home.

Pasadena

"Mommy, Daddy promised me he'd be home by Easter, we went Easter egg hunting yesterday and he's still not home," Charlotte pouted.

Penny rolls her eyes, she loves Charlotte but her daughter's hero worship of her dad is becoming a broken record she just wants to hit pause on. "Honey, if Daddy said Easter he'll be home soon, you don't have to remind me like an Amazon package tracker," she laughs at her own joke.

"But…"

"No buts, sweetie, now what do you want on your pizza?"

Charlotte thinks hard, this was the first time her mom let her choose her own pizza, "The red meat disc thing—"

"Pepperoni?"

Charlotte nods excitedly. "And lots of cheese."

Penny chuckles, Charlotte was indeed her daughter; extra cheese was her favourite too. "Okay, honey. I'll go put in the order. Could you watch Ellie for me?"

Charlotte nods again and runs over to Ellie in her high chair, sitting on a dinner table chair closest to her sister on her knees so they could talk.

"You know Ellie, Daddy promised me he'd bring me a picture of Rafiki's tree if I'm good while he's away. Do you think the reason Daddy's not home yet is because I've been bad?" Charlotte pouts.

Ellie reaches for her big sister and babbles and giggles in response. "Who do you like more Mommy or Daddy, Ellie?"

"M-m-mama… d-d-dada," Ellie says and giggles. "You like both?" Charlotte asks incredulously.

Ellie bangs her fist on her high chair tray and laughs.

Sheldon was surprised that it was Michael that was his ride home once he landed at Miramar. Apparently, his buddy had a reason for doing it… to pick his brain about raising girls because he and Val found out the baby was gonna be a girl a few days ago.

"You know if this is gonna be a thing, should I preempt now and ask about raising boys because Penny and I want a boy one day," Sheldon ribbed good-naturedly.

Michael laughed, "Good to have you back, Doc. So come on, any advice you can give me?"

Sheldon shrugged, "I mean at this point they pretty much require the same things, you know… food, shelter, clothing, attention. Next year though… Charlotte starts preschool next year." He shudders at the thought.

"Hold up are you telling me the great Sheldon Cooper is scared of his little girl starting preschool?" Michael snickers.

"Hey, I'll remind you that Alex starts preschool next year too, Mikey." Michael shrugs unconcerned.

"Didn't you grow up with sisters, surely you know what girls are like," Sheldon asks.

"My sisters were two and four by the time I was born, I don't have your eidetic memory thingie so I don't remember shit," Michael laughs at his own crassness.

"Well, by all accounts my earliest memories of Missy is sort of how Penny used to be as a kid; you know, rather tomboyish. I don't know if Charlotte and/or Eleanor is headed down that road too but, as they say, history tends to repeat itself."

"Well, so much for me picking the Doc's brain on how to raise kids," Michael sighs.

Sheldon chuckles, "I'm not that kind of doctor, if you want to pick my brain about physics, I'm all for it. If you want child psychology, talk to Missy. She and Josh have girls."

Michael laughs remembering Missy's kids, Michelle and Johanna. "You know it amuses me that your kids and your sister's kids in both instances the oldest one has to be referred to by her full name—seriously only Eric calls Charlotte, 'Charlie'—while the youngest can be referred to by their full name or their nicknames respectively."

"What's your point?"

"No point, I just find it more than a coincidence that siblings randomly went by that naming convention for their own kids."

Sheldon thought Michael might be onto something. "Might be that mythical twin connection thing people always harp on."

Snickering Michael relents, "Might be." After a while, Michael speaks again, "I have some other news that might delight you."

"Wait, you asking for parenting advice was news?" Sheldon joked.

"Hey, I told you my next kid was a girl, that's news," Michael defended with a bark of laughter, "Anyway, I heard that starting in 2016, MARSOC will have our own insignia, like the Navy Trident but for us."

"Well, that's great but where's the part that's supposed to delight me?" "You'll never guess who designed it," Michael smirked.

Sheldon thought long and hard, there were only so many candidates and people he knew that had a talent for art, but none at least he knew were connected with the military. "Okay, I'm stumped, who?"

"The one and only, Bobby Hatfield." Michael grinned.

Sheldon is thankful it was dark and Michael needed to focus on driving because his jaw dropped slightly. "You're pullin' my leg!" His Texas twang coming out.

Raising a hand briefly, Michael says seriously, "I swear to God. He might be at the State Department now but Bobby's still got some friends in high places at the DoD."

Sheldon laughs. Another 45 minutes and Michael drops him off, Sheldon in parting tells Michael to not sweat about having a girl because, "You got Valerie, she'll know exactly how to deal with her own daughter."

Michael smiles and drives off telling him he'll see him at work tomorrow.

***

When Sheldon enters his house, it's dark and quiet, as it should be since it was 10:30 at night. Penny and the girls were probably asleep. Dropping his sea bags by the door, he goes upstairs, he sees a light in the master bedroom on the far end of the hallway still on—Penny was probably reading her production notes. As he gets closer, however, the muffled sounds coming from their room tell him Penny definitely wasn't reading. He slowly opens the door a crack and sure enough, the sight that greets him causes him to bite his lower lip. His incredibly sexy wife is naked and writhing on their bed, her eyes closed completely lost to the pleasure of her fingers on her clit. Her moans and whimpers as she rubs herself and teases herself by pinching her sensitive nipples with her ample breasts on display is incredibly erotic. He hears her breathing labour and her fingers speed up as her moans and whimpers increase—he's seen and heard this pattern so many times— Penny is about to climax.

"Ugh… God… yesss… I'm cumming… S-Sheldonn!"

That catches him off-guard, was Penny thinking about him while she pleasured herself; does she always when she's alone? He's been deployed many times, but this is the first time he's really come home without anyone really knowing. Seeing this side of his beloved wife gets him hard. He steps inside their bedroom and closes the door; the sound of the door causes Penny's eyes to shoot open in surprise.

"Sheldon?" Penny asks, the post-orgasmic haze causing her not to have the full wherewithal of her surroundings yet.

"Of course. That was quite a show I stumbled upon, sweetheart." Penny blushes, realising she's naked and her husband saw her getting herself off. He chuckles, "No need to be embarrassed,

Penny, that was probably the best homecoming present I've ever gotten. Just one question, do you think of me a lot?"

Penny smiles, "Always," she whispers sensually. Then realising the implication of Sheldon being home, she smirks, "Why don't you get out of that utility uniform and we can celebrate together?"

"Sounds like a plan," he smiles.

Sheldon strips, giving Penny a show, reciprocating the show he just saw.

Once Sheldon is settled on the bed, Penny leans over and plants a long languid kiss on him pressing her nude body against his, "Glad to have you home, honey."

Sheldon chuckles, "Not yet, but you will," he quips as he attacks her neck making her giggle and moan.

Charlotte was restless. Her Daddy promised that he'd be home by Easter but now it's been two sleeps since she, Ellie, and Mommy went Easter egg hunting.

"Mommy, did Daddy get eaten by Simba?" Penny laughed out loud, "Wait what?"

"That's the only reason why he's not home yet," Charlotte concludes.

Penny's laugh settles down into a snicker, "Oh sweetie, Daddy's way too smart to be eaten by lions. And if you must know, little missy," Penny checks the clock in the living room, "Daddy's just at work he'll be home in about ten minutes."

"How long is that?"

"Just enough time for you to finish a bath. Come on."

Charlotte frowns but marches up the stairs with Penny who is holding onto Ellie. Once Penny finished Charlotte's bath, she dressed her oldest in her pyjamas and was blow-drying her hair when they heard the front door open and close.

"Daddy!" Charlotte shrieks and takes off for the living room.

"Charlotte, I'm not done—" Penny calls half-heartedly after her daughter and sighs, she picks up Eleanor and heads downstairs after her three-year-old. On the way, Penny turns to Ellie bopping her on the nose playfully and says, "I hope you aren't as excitable as your sister in the future."

Penny enters the living room and is greeted with a very familiar scene, nearly identical to after Sheldon's return from Russia, except Charlotte is animatedly scolding Sheldon in his arms for being late and asking about Rafiki's tree.

"So, did you bring me Rafiki's tree?"

Sheldon laughs and puts Charlotte down and walks over to his briefcase and pulls out two pictures and hands them to Charlotte.

Charlotte takes a look at both then cheers, thanking Sheldon.

Penny walks over and looks at the pictures in their daughter's hands and snorts, "You actually went

to Africa and got her a picture of the monkey's tree from The Lion King? Oh, she played you like a fiddle, honey. By the way, where's my present?" Penny laughs.

"I thought I already gave it to you… three times," He smirks at her. Penny blushes.