F***g Goose

Ye Chen

I put the talisman on, and the world's sounds seemed to mute a bit, as if everything was behind glass, even the goose. After a few seconds, the goose appeared to step into this side of reality.

"Didn't expect that, did you? Cool stuff!" he said.

"What is this?" I asked.

"This, my friend, is an alternative layer of reality" he said with a mischievous grin.

"WTF are you serious???" I stared at him in awe.

"Why are your eyes so wide? Haa, you should've seen your face! Alternative layer of reality my ass, are are child? Idiot you fell for it! fuck, you are too dumb, how are you still alive, ... baaah, i am kidding you even dumber. Haha, can't stop laughing."

I looked at that damned goose with a mix of indignation and disbelief. You fucker i'll remeber it! He fell to the ground and just laughed hysterically.

After he finally stopped laughing, he continued.

"Anyway, this thing makes us less noticeable and diverts attention away from us. So those below a certain cultivation level or not trained to notice such things won't pay attention to us. This will allow us to go somewhere today that we otherwise couldn't access."

"Interesting" I said, still trying to process the new sensory experience. "Where exactly are we going?"

The goose's eyes twinkled with mischief as he replied, "You'll see. Follow me and keep that talisman on."

We headed deeper into the village. We didn't wander for long before we approached a building guarded by two outer sect disciples, seemingly keeping watch over the entrance.

"Honestly, we're young and attractive, and we're stuck doing this crap" said the first one.

"Most people call it a job. Especially in a place like this. So quit whining" replied the second.

"But what's the point of working here if we're not inside?" the first complained.

"Are you an idiot? Be glad we're not in there!"

Listening to this strange dialogue, the goose and I walked past them, and I continued following the goose. We approached a small room and entered.

"So, why did they say it's better not to work inside?" I asked.

The goose turned to me and said, "Don't worry about it. They're just stupid fuckers, that's all. Pay no attention to them." He flapped his wing, and a pill flew into my hand.

"Take it. It'll help you to not blow the cover and be like local workers. And don't ask any questions."

I looked at the goose with suspicion but swallowed the pill anyway. I didn't feel anything, but whatever. I turned to the goose and tried to say something, but no sound came out. Panic started to rise, but the goose, noticing this, said,

"Don't panic, are you child? keep calm and be quiet. Here, all the servants are forbidden to speak, so you'll be silent. Heh, don't worry, everything will go smoothly. Now sit and wait until I tell you what to do next."

There were many things I wanted to say to him, but it seemed I'd have to save them for later. The goose sat there, seemingly waiting for something. I sat down, simmering with impatience, making my displeasure evident with my every move.

"Alright, alright, listen up" the goose finally said. "I managed to sneak a peek at what the girl under the veil looks like, and I brought you here so you could see too. I'm telling you, she's your perfect match. You need to win her over."

"This place is, let's say, a women's club where they can relax, and here she takes off her veil."

I sat and listened, now genuinely intrigued.

"So sit tight and wait. I'll tell you what to do when the time comes."

We sat there for about five minutes before the goose finally spoke.

"The time has come. Listen carefully. A servant will be passing by here soon. We grab him, knock him out, and you'll change into his clothes and take an order to where I tell you. The veiled girl will be there."

I wasn't sure how this would help my training, but I decided to see what he had planned. I stood by the door, waiting for the goose's signal.

"Now."

I quickly opened the door and saw a person dressed in a strange robe, holding a tray, with a mask covering his entire face. The goose flew up and pecked him on the head, knocking him out. I caught the tray as the servant collapsed. We dragged him into the small room, stripped him of his clothes, and soon I was dressed in the strange costume and mask, carrying the tray of food to the designated room.

I knocked on the door and waited for a response.

"Enter" came the voice of the veiled girl. I recognized it instantly.

With anticipation, I opened the door and walked in, seeing a sight I would never forget. The girl, whom I was used to seeing in a veil and rather conservative clothing, was emerging from a pool in a rather revealing swimsuit. Water dripped from her body, making the swimsuit nearly transparent. Oh, gods, I thought my dragon was about to awaken. But strangely, despite my brain fully understanding the provocative and hot situation, my body showed no reaction.

WTF???

What did that goose give me in that pill? Could it be dangerous? Damn it!

Looking at this girl whose name I didn't even know, I suddenly decided that she must become one of my wives! Her figure, the shape of her eyes, her cheekbones—oh gods, she looked as if she had been sculpted by an artist, a goddess!

The girl, stepping out of the pool, glanced at me and gestured towards the table. I placed the tray of fruit there.

"Ah, it's a pity they only send eunuchs as servants. You have no idea how boring it is for a girl without male attention" she said seductively, watching as I froze in an awkward position.

"Hahaha, don't worry, boy, hahaha" she laughed strangely. Ah, that damned goose—so that's the trick. I was supposed to play the role of a eunuch. The bastard didn't even warn me.

The girl stretched in a sultry manner and said

"Too bad, alright, you may go. If I need anything, I'll call."

I had no choice but to leave the room. As soon as I was out, I quickly took a general antidote for various minor poisons. No way I was taking any chances with whatever that goose had given me.

As I walked back, passing through a small hall, I ran into three people coming my way. One wore a silver mask, while the other two wore masks identical to mine.

"Oh, perfect, we needed a third one. You," the man in the silver mask pointed at me,"come with us."

Wait, this is definitely not what I need. Just ten more meters and I would have reached the small room.

I quickly shook my head, trying to say no, no, no, because I definitely didn't want to go with them.

"Don't mess around, everyone goes there. Nothing will happen to you! Do you want us to take you to the training center instead? Is that what you want?"

What does he mean nothing will happen? Where are they taking us? What training center? Where has that damned goose brought me? Damn it, why is my luck so bad today? I'm the protagonist, for fucking sake!

In the end, the man in the silver mask grabbed me by the arm and led me somewhere. Judging by the palpable despair radiating from the other two in identical masks, wherever we were heading was definitely not a pleasant place. The less I wanted to find out what this dreaded training center was.

As we walked, the antidote must have started working, but something was definitely off. Instead of feeling better, a heat began to flare up in my stomach, something was definitely wrong!

We finally approached a door.

"Well, here we are. Good luck in there, and don't worry. We've all been through this"

He said it very sadly, then noticeably shuddered.

I really didn't want to go in, but I didn't have much of a choice. The man in the silver mask was far stronger than me, and if I revealed myself, who knows what would happen.

The heat in my stomach grew stronger, moving lower and lower. Oh no, this isn't good.

The man in the silver mask shoved us through the door. I braced myself for something terrifying, but inside was just a room that looked like it belonged in a love hotel. Interesting.

And then it entered. Calling this naked, fat, old, bearded creature covered in boils a woman would be an insult. Damn it, where have I ended up? At that moment, the heat in my stomach finally subsided, but I realized with horror that my dragon had awoken. Not now, not like this!

"Ohhh, I haven't had such lively young men in a long time! Hahaha, today is going to be a good day. Don't worry, sweetie, mommy will take good care of you" she said, her voice dripping with malice.

No way, damned day! Damned pill! 

FUCKING GOOSE!