Hare I am, stuck in the Miqo with you. (FFXIV SI) by BigBoom550

This is one the best final fantasy fics out there hope you enjoy!!!!

Words: 184k+

Link: -https://forum.questionablequesting.com/threads/hare-i-am-stuck-in-the-miqo-with-you-ffxiv-si.9921/

Chapter One: Arrival

Here it is! A full story, with full editing pass and clean-up to straighten some plot details, typos, and other shenanigans out.

Aetherial Travel was great.

Traveling by Aetheryte was, without a doubt, the fastest way to move from one area to the next. Of course, there were limitations- mass. Only so much mass could be translated per 'jump', and it just wasn't economical to transport cargo via the crystals- not with how few people could reliably make such jumps.

Add in the various agreements, border controls, and such? It became not just impractical to transport cargo that way but outright illegal to do so in some cases. Of course, the nations of Eorzea gave some leeway to the Scions- we operated outside the law to deal with the Primals, and we kept our operations extremely small. More by constraints than desire, as it took an Echo wielder to even be able to face a Primal without becoming its thrall.

Primals… god-creatures of soulstuff given form by belief. Like Warhammer, but not Grimdark.

In short, those who could stop us saw no reason to, meaning we were able to do… pretty much whatever we pleased as long as we paid the Syndicate in Ul'Dah. And, with that in mind, I'd gotten very good at teleporting via Aetheryte.

… I mean, I could do that. I was hardly able to do anything else though. Barely more magic in me than a Garlean. Minfilia had mused that it was a result of me being transported from somewhere outside Hydaelyn inwards. That I had… well, been granted a soul. Not a particularly large one, mind, but a soul nonetheless. I wasn't about to go flinging fireballs and thunderstorms around.

An Aether-based soul that could just barely touch magic, though. No telling if the extremities of consciousness before that constituted a soul, and nobody could really answer that. For all I knew I had two souls now. I suppose it was kinda snug in there at this point.

I sighed and hefted the crate in my hands. Urianger needed his books, Tataru her office supplies, and Thancred his… man perfume.

He called it 'Eau de Seduce'. I called it man perfume. He didn't have an argument to that.

There were a few other things in there. Bits and bobs for the Waking Sands. Some medical supplies, medications and antidotes, as well as a special delivery. I knew what it was, of course, and had pulled it aside and pocketed it.

I'd spent little time idle since my… arrival here. As Minfilia put it, for a brief moment she heard Hydaelyn's voice rise, and then I appeared in a crack of thunder right in her solar. Like Terminator, completely naked, except unlike Terminator I instantly started screaming in terrified confusion.

While she considered what to do, I had managed to talk Urianger into letting me at a few of his tomes. I didn't have the time to wait around to see if she'd just dump me on someone's doorstep. She could have, and it was unlikely she would have, but it was the uncertainty I didn't like. I ignored the history ones at first, and instead focused on biology and the sciences.

… Also magic, but after I proved to suck at that, decided not to pursue it.

I needed some way to make myself more valuable to the Scions- I mean, knowing what I did, having the Warrior of Light as backup was probably my best ticket to survival in this weird world. And Cid would be back to handle the engineering stuff, so that was right out. Papalymo and Y'shtola were more than on top of magic.

That left me with biology, and some of it was incredibly interesting.

I turned away from my musings and nodded to the cart owner. He was going to take me from Horizon to Vesper Bay, because the Syndicate wanted leverage over the Scions and so refused to put an Aetheryte in Vesper Bay. The crate secured under my feet, I checked to make sure I had everything, and then we were off.

For one thing, Hyur were identical in most ways to humans, save that their lungs were slightly larger and intestines slightly smaller. It let them breathe easier, giving them more stamina than… well, me, really. On a biological level, not an individual-performance level. Outwardly identical though. Immune systems were more 'reactive' rather than 'proactive', which meant I had a higher immunity to disease and toxins… which weren't nearly as common.

Roegadyn had carbon-fiber bones and an eight-chambered heart, basically running two separate cardiovascular systems, and could sweat out some of their byproducts if they hadn't had water for a while to urinate them out. It didn't give them limitless stamina, but it certainly helped.

I didn't know what to make of Lalafell, and I just tried to expunge it from memory. They had the proportions of children and the behaviors to match at forty.

The Miqo'te, though, were on my mind at the moment. They had a number of cat-like attributes, to varying degrees in each individual. All of them had the slit pupils, ears, and tail, but others had more beastial traits. Some had far sharper teeth, others far sharper claws, and some, well… some had more embarrassing traits.

Like occasionally going into heat.

Fortunately, like any civilization is wont to do, the Miqo'te had a medicine that could handle it. Of course, it was still seen as embarrassing. Normally Y'shtola herself would be picking this up, but, well, she got called away and had to ask me to pick it up for her.

Which I did. It wasn't hard to find, it's just that any Miqo'te girl picking it up openly practically broadcast to the world that 'hey, I get super horny unless I take certain herbs', which wasn't a rumor one wanted floating around them. Normally she'd pick it up as part of a bundle of alchemical stuff, but, well, she didn't have the luxury at the moment.

And I could see why. Limsa Lominsa had too much paperwork for goddamn pirates. Paperwork she had to fill out in triplicate, constantly. Seriously. A nation founded on pirates, and the Admiral instituted paperwork. How she managed to get away with I had no idea, but I suspected it involved cannons.

But my job now… it was weirdly touching in a way. I wasn't just the 'errand boy' for the Scions, I was… kinda their friend. There to help deal with their problems. Trusted. It felt nice. I mean minor problems, but problems they needed fixed.

The cart jostled. I looked up and out over Thanalan and took a deep breath, and reached down. I was arriving back later than I expected, so..

I dug through the crate and found what I needed. A fire crystal, a large, custom-made metal thermos, and a water skin. The herbs I needed were already in little tea bags, and as I rode I quietly prepared the tea for her.

It was kind of interesting, really. The tea had chemicals in it that bound to certain hormones in the bloodstream, greatly lessening the effects of the 'heat' they went into. There were actually medicines and toxins derived from members of the herb's family, used for a variety of non-magical treatments.

We were coming up on Vesper Bay. I made sure all was in order and sealed up the crate, and shortly after we stopped, I was walking through the town with a big 'ol' crate of stuff.

Tataru, our Lalafell receptionist, was there to welcome me, as always. Her supplies were right on the top and I quickly packed them away directly where she preferred them, and left the receipts on her table. From there it was down into the Waking Sands.

There was a little bit of activity. Not much, not usually. The Scions were small, and what few people we did have around were usually long-term supporters of the predecessor organizations who wanted to chip in to the new outfit. Unlike the games, Urianger had an actual office, attached to the archives of the Scions. His tomes- rare and special-ordered- were next on my list, and were quietly deposited on the table he set aside for exactly that purpose, along with a sheaf of papers from the salesman detailing the history of the tomes.

The next stop was to Thancred's 'quarters' in the Waking Sands, which was more or less a closet with a cot, a dresser, and a small camp stove for cooking quick meals. I simply tossed the bundle of perfumes onto the dresser. After a few more all I had left to deliver were the herbs and the thermos.

Which meant Y'shtola's room.

I stopped next to it and glanced down the hallway, both ways. Nobody was there, and I didn't hear anyone aside from Minfilia speaking to someone or other. So I raised my hand and rapped quietly on the door, three times. I heard shuffling, then the door unlocked.

I braced myself. The door sprung open, a tanned hand grabbed my shirt,and I was practically yanked into the room. It wasn't the first time this had happened- that went to the time her delivery was stalled for a week- and so I just went with it as Y'shtola threw me onto the cot and straddled me. Her eyes were wide and dilated, mouth open slightly.

Like I said: Real horny.

"Hey." I shook the thermos. "This first."

She glanced at me, then the thermos, and then took it from me. The smell was unpleasant- a mix of burnt rubber and rotting grass- and I saw Y'shtola's nose wrinkle as she sniffed it. But we both knew she had to drink it, and so she sipped at the tea, and then began to chug it, eyes squeezed shut in disgust at the taste.

I knew what it tasted like. Well, more accurately, Thancred did, because I made a bet with him.

Turned out it was a psychedelic to Hyur. Who knew.

Y'shtola finished off the tea, eyes still shut, and then started to cough. One hand covered her mouth and her ears flattened back. I sat up and put one arm around her, patting her back as she buried her head in my shoulder. She stopped coughing for a moment, tensed, and then I heard her swallow.

She remained there for a moment, and then muttered something.

"What?"

"Always disgusting." She murmured, before taking a breath. "Thank you." She coughed again, and then slid off me. I patted her shoulder and stood, taking the thermos from her extended hand.

"You good?"

"I am." She nodded. "I- sorry."

"Don't worry about it." I waved it off and put the rest of the tea on her dresser. I mean, it felt kinda skeevy, but having a hot woman throw me down on her bed? Kinda nice.

… Not that I'd say that, unless I wanted to get my ass blasted up to Dalamud.

Leaving that shit to Hildibrand, thank you. Wherever that madlad was at the moment.

"So you had no problems?" Minfilia asked. The Solar was quiet, compared to the rest of the world. Sealed away underground. Honestly I wondered sometimes how people didn't suffocate, and then just chalked it up to 'magic' and ignored thinking about it.

"Nope." I answered. "Thancred got his man-perfume, Urianger got his cookbooks, I got the stuff I was looking for… it's all good."

"Mm." She nodded. "And what were you looking for?"

Hemotoxin information. "A few things. Mostly books and stuff."

"I see. Any progress in your personal projects?"

"Some." I sighed. "The general-use stimulant is… working. But anyone short of a rather large Hyur is likely to have their heart explode."

"Oh dear." Minfilia frowned. "That's… not marketable."

"… I mean-"

"No." Minfilia frowned. "We're not selling something that could kill people if misused."

I shrugged. "Fair enough." I mean swords were a thing. Everywhere. But alright then.

The two of us remained silent for a few minutes as Minfilia waited for her teapot to finish. I cracked open one of the books I picked up, reading up on the blood properties of Au Ra.

… Six blood types. Huh. Well it made sense. I cocked an eyebrow as I read, something Minfilia picked up on.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, just interesting." I answered. "I have to admit, I'm having a grand old time with all this."

"Magic?" She asked. "You mentioned once your world was closer to Garlemald in terms of development than the rest of our world."

"Not just that." I answered. "Humans- well, my 'species' as close as it is- are pretty genetically limited. Weird story there."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Apparently about… I dunno, tens of thousands of years prior to me, the human species was reduced to about thirty individuals."

"… Oh." She didn't miss the implications.

"Yeah. Not a lot of diversity there." I muttered. "Noooot a lot."

She nodded, and then reached for her tea. "… You were a bit late."

"Yep."

"What did you do?"

"Minfilia-"

"Tobyus, what did you do?"

I sighed. "… I… made a stop by the Gold Saucer."

"… You didn't."

"I did not use extra dimensional knowledge to game the Gold Saucer."

Minfilia narrowed her eyes.

"… Okay, fine. I bet Godbert that his son would be found by a talented warrior and his assistant, believing he's a zombie out in the Thanalan desert. I win, he finances some of my research."

"You used extradimensional knowledge to game Godbert Manderville."

"Oh, totally." I answered. "It's also part of another bet."

"Tobyus…" Minfilia buried her face in her hands. "Why?"

"Because I made him a bet- that I can win a bet he'll be glad to lose." I grinned. "The winnings for that bet are private, though, so sorry."

So yeah. My life was pretty simple, all things considered. Delivery boy, 'mundane' medic of the Scions when one of the healers were down, toxicologist, and local 'sane man' when someone got upset or overworked or whatever. My personal hobbies, though, were still somewhat work.

Primer on the Conduction of Non Static Aether, Vol XI wasn't exactly fun reading, but it was… necessary.

Well, for my plans.

Aether was *weird*. It really was. It was both energy, and matter. Which fit our world's understanding of it… to an extent.

It wasn't 'energy' energy. It was like Aether could produce energy ex nihilo which, if used correctly, could in turn be used to manipulate the world around one's self. This formed the basic 'core' of magical theory, no matter what form it took- White, Black, Red, Blue magics, Thaumaturgy and Arcanism and Conjuring… all of it.

But it was also sub-dimensional, forming the 'lifestream' the world existed and subsisted on. It was also material.

In short, Aether was nonsensical, headache inducing *bullshit*, but it was bullshit I was going to munchkin the hell out of because fuckit, the Scions were good enough to take me in when I was useless on the word of Magic Space Rock.

And it wasn't like low-magic people were unheard of. There were low-magic people all over from every race and hell, the Garleans as a people were completely incapable of manipulating Aether in the same way as us. Which gave rise to Magitek, and enchanting as a *thing*.

And it's not that Eorzea proper didn't have Magitek, it's that in most cases they lacked a mix of the exact science behind certain parts, and the capacity to produce most of them. Surprisingly much of Eorzea's production capacity actually lay in the guilds- and not really for them trying to keep it that way. There was a strong tendency in people not just for goods that lasted, but for more personalization than mass-produced goods allowed. Which made sense, as back on Earth you had a rough size range that everyone fell into. Here, though, you had everything from Roegadyn to Lalafells.

I had to remind myself that Lalas were not midgets. A lot.

It meant everything from clothes, to tools, to weapons had to be engineered for the individual, not mass produced like we could.

Sure, there were some things that *were* mass produced. Fishing trawlers were a thing, as well as molding and casting techniques. But that was all industrial-side stuff. Not 'personal things' stuff.

The Empire, though, well… they sacrificed some quality for quantity. Explained why their men died in droves. Not like they cared, given conscription.

Anyways, magitek wasn't really a thing in Eorzea. Garlond Ironworks was really the only place, and given Cid was… missing…

…

Eh, the Warrior'd handle it. I wasn't going to shove a potion down his throat to *maybe* restore his memory. Plus the priest was taking care of him. He was in good hands and would be back to us in no time.

Well, back to them. I never met the man.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

I glanced up. Papalymo was twice my age and a third my height, but the Lala still intimidated me. He was a talented spellcaster for certain- but while he was powerful, he was the sort you wanted to have that power. Calm and collected.

"Sure." I gestured across the table, and returned to sipping at my drink and working at wrapping my head around the contents of the book. It wasn't quite whiskey, but they managed to infuse honey into it. The book wasn't nearly so sweet.

The Lalafell levitated slightly and then sank into the seat. I wasn't surprised that he could do it so easily, given how potent his magic was, but that still wasn't a common usage of it. He brought with him a plate of his own preferred vices- a few sweet breads and a rather finely seared steak- and then gave me a smile. "I do hope you're enjoying that."

I shrugged. "It's… interesting. Trying to wrap my head around Aether gives me a bit of a headache."

"Oh?" Papalymo raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you mention your world to be rather advanced?"

"Yeah, but our physics are way different." I took a sip. "Aether and magic aren't at all a thing, for one."

"So matter and energy are separate, then?"

"Not quite." I drummed my fingers. "It's more that… well, we're still not sure what reality is made of. Our best theories basically amount to 'the world is comprised of more than four dimensions', and that could mean almost two dozen of them at the least. I mean, we operate with three and within a fourth, but… well, it's complicated."

"Dimensions? Like alternate worlds?"

"Like forward-back-left-right."

"… I don't understand."

"Neither do I." I shook my head. "Matter and energy are the same stuff though, at a fundamental level. Just behaving in different ways."

"Oh, that's good to know. So you convert matter to energy for various purposes?"

"… Papalymo?"

"Yes?"

"If you want to sleep at night, don't ask that question again."

"I've seen enough to keep me up. Do tell."

"We bottled Calamities."

Papalymo blinked. "… Oh dear."

"Yeah. Anyways, we can, it's just… really violent and uncontrollable." I shrugged. "Not common, by any means though. Anyways, on a surface level a lot of what we can do is really the same. Chemistry operates in functionally similar ways, physics is… mostly consistent, biology makes sense… I'm just having to take what little I know and adjust it to fit this world. Aether's the nebulous stuff that makes my brain hurt."

"Oh, it does that to everyone." Papalymo waved it off. "Most people have a rather stringent mental division between energy and matter. The idea of being both comprised of and utilizing energy is patently absurd to them. It's actually the single largest hurdle for younger mages."

"And for older mages?"

"Sweetbreads." Papalymo held one up and took a bite, chewing slowly and savoring it. "In any case," He continued, "I came in part to make small talk and in part for work." He produced a small vial, which held a thin, pale purple fluid. "This was found on an Ixali spellcaster. Can you?"

I reached out and took it, giving it a look. "Any idea?"

"I do think it's animal derived." Papalymo answered.

"Hm…" I took it, gently removed the cork, and sniffed it. It smelled… stronger than most venoms. I swirled it, held it up to the light, and frowned. "Concentrated."

"You think?"

"If it was secreted by a plant, this'd be fine." I answered. "But if it's animal derived, it's likely injected. This is a bit thicker than that." I hummed to myself. "I'm willing to bet it's meant for arrows, but I've got a sneaking suspicion that's not what they were using it for."

"Correct. Yda and I recovered it from Ixali who were attempting to put it into a tree."

"Strange. It might not even affect the tree…" I paused. "What kind? Fruiting?"

"Yes- Ah, I see. You think they meant to poison the fruit."

"Likely." I corked it and placed the vial down. "I can run some tests on it and see what we've got. Frankly this sits wrong with me. Poisoning the trees affects the entire ecosystem. Reeks of desperation to me."

"Indeed." Papalymo nodded. "Ah, but enough about that. How are you settling in otherwise? Making some friends, I hope?" He raised a rather pointed eyebrow. "Really, you need to leave the Sands once in a while. Get some fresh air and all that."

"I do."

"You know what I mean by that, Tobyus." He raised a hand. "You're working almost constantly."

"Happier working."

"You hardly get out and meet anyone."

"I'm fine with that."

"You might meet some cute girls." He teased.

I leaned back, raised an eyebrow, and stared at him. Seriously? With Yda, Minfilia, and Y'shtola around? Seriously, the Scions had some extremely attractive women. And Thancred.

He got so much better when he stopped being a pretty boy.

"… Your point is both made and dismissed."

I just laughed. "Come off it old man."

"Old- I will have you know I have aged rather well if I do say so!"

"Sure." I took a sip.

The Lalafell pouted, and then leaned back in his seat. "Ah, well… I can't fault you entirely. Good food and good friends. So many spend their whole lives running about and fail to see that no matter how much magical might you have… a full belly and a full hearth amount to so much more."