Bumbling Killing Machine. (A Xenomorph SI) by Tomb Spyder

A Damn xenomorph Sı do I need to say more?

Words: 10k+

Link: https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/bumbling-killing-machine-a-xenomorph-si.1186867/

(What do you do when you're reborn as a monster? One of many, for that matter?

Well, first you acknowledge the inherent horror of your new existence. Then you realise that you are the horror. Then you bumble along while trying to get the fuck out of dodge. And hey, maybe you get lucky and don't die!

...Also fuck Weyland Yutani. Asshat.

---

Story of my damn life.

1. Want to read specific niche.

2. It doesn't exist.

3. Write it myself.

This is being written purely for fun, so don't expect super consistent updates or anything. Honestly there's a solid chance this story might just drop off the face of the Earth if my interest wanders elsewhere or I get distracted by something else. Just figured that was something potential readers should keep in mind going into this.

If certain individuals who shall not be named end up throwing copious amounts of money at this, the above can safely be ignored.

But yeah, the Discord server did a vote, and said vote was positive. Which means I get to indulge myself and write a silly little aliens SI even though I have lots of other work to get done. It...probably won't follow along with the movies or anything? In all likelihood I'll just be making stuff up as I go along, but we'll see how it goes.

Anyway enough of my own particular brand of bumbling. On with the fic!

Canon omakes=Side Stories section.

Non-canon omakes=Apocrypha.

Fanart/memes/etc=Media.

Side Stories that prove integral to the plot will be threadmarked and sorted into the main story itself. Appropriate credits will of course be given.)

LOG-001.

I woke up thrashing like a motherfucker.

Namely because apparently someone had broken into my bedroom while I was asleep, and placed a bag of fleshy shit over my face.

Yeah.

You could bet your ass I wasn't gonna wait around and see what'd happen if I breathed whatever that was in...even if it almost felt like the bag was reaching well past just my face and more around my entire body but-distractions! Focus on getting this crap off!

Still, some small part of me couldn't help but silently note that it almost felt like I was immersed in something, even as I continued to steadily wriggle my way forward to get out of whatever that something actually was. Regardless, wriggling eventually escalated to clawing, and even outright biting as I desperately continued to try and split apart whatever gunk was keeping me pinned in place.

And eventually...something finally gave.

"EeeeeEEEEEEEEK!"

"It's out! Quick, open the tube!"

Didn't know I could make that sound...neat-oooh what the fuck!?

"Tube's open, just keep her steady. The newborns have a tendency to leap out and try to slither off-"

Signals! So many signals and all of them were wrong and weird and EUGH-

"Holy shit-something's wrong with this one! It-it's seizuring!"

Somewhere in my mind, I acknowledged that my body, no matter how horrifically off it suddenly felt, was spasming like crazy as the utter influx of sensory data I hadn't even known could exist filtered directly into my damned brain.

"Don't let go of that container Halsey! Even at this stage they're dangerous!"

Compared to my...vastly new perspective (what the fuck even was-were those electrical signals-) and my desperate attempts to calm down before I had a bloody heart attack, the distant sound of fuzzy voices really didn't net that much immediate priority.

"I'm holding it! I-look, it's calming down!"

Nonetheless, there were several things very much wrong at the moment, as far as I could tell.

"Feisty little girl, isn't she? Come on you biter, into the tube..."

One, I wasn't in my fucking bed. I was, as the two...people? Yes, as the two people had and still were saying, contained within a tube.

"There's...definitely something off with this specimen. Most of them would have started trying to at least break the glass by now, right? What's wrong with it?"

Two, it wasn't just my immediate senses that had been wildly altered, apparently. Now that I actually cared to pay attention to it, my frame felt...so horrendously different to what by all means it should have been. My arms felt far too small. I couldn't even feel my legs. And the less said about the thing rather obtrusively sticking out of my ass, the better.

"Well...it could be anything, really. We just don't have the data to get a concrete answer...yet. Hold on, maybe if I just adjust the host like this-"

I let out a second, smaller but no less alien screech of surprise as my entire world tilted for a moment, right before I promptly fell further into the mysterious tube, the sound of something hissing and clunking closed behind me flooding my senses for an instant.

"There we are, nice and secure. Now, I'd say she's due for a nap."

CONNECTION! WARRIOR! ESCAPE! HIDE!

...You fucking what mate?

Before I could so much as try to vocalise my thoughts in response to both the man's statement and...whatever that other feeling had been, something else hissed and a wave of pure white flooded what...felt like my nostrils. Maybe.

Suffice to say, I was out like a light within moments.

---

I woke up again. This time pissed as Hell, screeching like a damn banshee at the two figures standing in front of me. Namely because, yet again, I'd been restrained somehow. And yet again, my body had changed while I'd been asleep. Somehow.

At least I could actually feel my legs now. Even if they had what I was pretty sure were manacles (what in the fucking SAW kinda shit was this?) clamped around them. Though they weren't alone in that regard. My arms. My neck. My...that particular bit of feedback was coming back to my mind as a tail.

Because I had one of those now. Apparently.

"Looks like someone's finally awake-"

My head jolted upwards, prompting a flinch from the woman a few feet in front of me, and a subdued chuckle from the man beside her.

They looked...different. Or well, no. I could make them out just fine. But I could also see them in other ways. Whatever had been done to me had somehow resulted in my ability to see a person's fucking heart beating, for one.

Super cool. Also super weird and creepy.

And boy was the scared gal's chest jackhammering as I stared her down, tail unconciously thrashing behind me (getting used to that almost disturbingly fast...) even as her counterpart stepped to the side with a clipboard clutched in his hands.

"L-less than an hour and a half before full maturation. Guess those growth hormones really did do the trick..."

Clenching and unlenching my own bony hands, I made quick note of the fact that I apparently had God damned fucking knives for fingers now, before preparing to speak-

"Well, Weyland Yutani aren't exactly skimping out on quality when it comes to this research. Not that much of a surprise." My mouth clamped shut (or at least as much as it could) as I processed the guy's words, fixing the newest puzzle piece into place as I finally copped on to just what the fuck had happened to me.

My tail thrashed in place once more, straining against the weight holding it down, even as I held back several particularly vile curses that could trace their roots to the Balkans, Ireland and certain parts of Europe respectively. Not that they'd come out as intended anyway, judging by what had likely replaced my tongue. Yeugh.

Good God I could actually clench the second set of teeth if I properly focused on them as well. Fuuuuuuck if that wasn't trippy.

...

Alright so...I could feel a moderate amount of pain from just how tight the cuffs keeping me suspended in place were, so this being a dream was unfortunately right out. If this was a prank of some kind...yeah, no. That didn't track either.

Weyland Yutani. Weyland fucking Yutani.

A fictional company. Not so fictional now, it seemed.

Fuck.

"Is it...is it just me or is this one a lot calmer than the others?"

I glanced up at that, observing the nervous blonde as she slowly shifted her weight from one foot to the other, never taking an eye off me even as what I assumed was either her partner or superior waved a now free hand from his position next to some kind of console.

"Eh, some of em get like that. She's probably just observing you. Trying to figure out how she can get you close enough for a quick bite. Clever creatures."

He, you fucker! HE! THIS BUG IS A GUY!

"That's not funny Joshua!"

The slight growl that unconsciously slipped out of my maw drew a second flinch from the woman...Halsey. Right, I remembered that much at least. Before they'd fucking gassed me.

"I'm not trying to be funny. Seriously, keep your distance."

Evidently, his words didn't exactly reassure the (presumable, considering the labcoat) researcher, her features twisting in discomfort as I continued to silently glare at her.

Yeah, you fucker. Fear me and my completely immobile form. I'll think nasty thoughts about you!

...GlaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAARE.

"I swear it's plotting something."

I am! I don't care if you're potentially innocent! I'll fucking cut you! LET ME OUT OF THESE DAMNED CUFFS! MY WRISTS STING!

"Yep. Like how to escape. And kill us. Thankfully, that probably won't happen. I'd give her solid fifty fifty odds in fact."

FREEDOM WILL BE MINE SCIENCE MAN! I WILL GNAW MY WAY OUT OF HERE! DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?!

"Joshua!"