the break down

I never thought the one who made me would be the one to make me suffer the most, I thought regardless of my grudge toward him he still would love me as I am, no matter what his daughter. At first when I became a vampire I actually enjoyed it, all your emotions are heightened and I was going through the happiest moments of life. I thought making me immortal was gods way of forgiving me for fleeing heaven. Even though Senoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof told me that I would never be forgiven and that father would make me suffer for defying him I thought, maybe he would forgive me one day and that forgiveness I thought was my curse of immortality. Now that I came to know about who was behind me I was in absolute despair. I didn't know what to do, i felt like I would break again after a long time. And I did, break.

I cried my eyes out in front of a stranger, in front of the god of death nonetheless. I begged him to take my soul and he said he doesn't have a say in my matter. I cried and cried and cried till I was a weeping mess and there were no more tears left. Never in my entire being did I think that my father would hate me so much that he wouldn't even grant me death or a peace of mind. I don't remember the last time I was truly happy, I was in pleasure, yes a million times but I was never happy after I left heaven. 'I guess I am destined for an eternity of misery', I thought. That's when I realised Nyx was hugging me "I can't promise you that everything is going to be okay…but I can promise you one thing, as someone who has gone through this before I promise to stand by your side and fight with you for the rights that you have always deserved" he said and whispered something that he thought I wouldn't hear but I did "the rights I was never granted". I felt the same familiar ache, the pain of being left alone even though you have thousands surrounding you willing to do anything that you say to them, I empathised with him. I felt that there was more to him than what anyone thought the god of death to be like, I felt like he understood me and that he has been through a lot of painful events in his life as well. I slowly detached myself from his hug and felt my inner self begging me to hug him again as it was warmer than the sun ever got me to be. I tried to smile, "you don't have to fake it, not with me and you cannot fake it with me because I know it when someone is going through pain. Remember? I am the god of death, I reap souls, I know pain". People around me were nice to me but it always felt like they were obligated to be and not being truthful. But Nyx? I felt like he was the real deal.