Where She Goes

"In there, ", Cora pointed to the direction of her room. Could he afford to smell like her? To Noah, that was expensive.

"You smell divine. If I smell like you, I would love me. Weird right?

I want to smell you."

"Would be weird if you didn't, just don't fall in love with me yet. "

Was I ever enough for your type? What do you want with me you divine lady? To torment?

Noah had wanted to say that he was in love with Cora, but Cora panicked and said, " your thoughts are valueless anyway", to distract him.

She knew what he might say would be hard to get past, and was afraid of telling him she didn't feel the same.

" We aren't friends yet, of course, because we are more than friends. What should we call it? " Noah said nervously.

" People live for years being nice to each other and never calling each other a friend. And others sleep in the same bed for years without marrying or thinking about it at all. Some things have no name. It's whatever you believe it to be. "

For the first time, Cora spoke her truth, acknowledging that they had a relationship, only that they hadn't given it a label yet.

"What do you believe it to be?"

"Doesn't matter", Cora replied, running away from the truth.

Noah knows not to force the truth because he knows it might be the one to hurt him. And if he can enjoy this day in heaven and find himself in hell later, it's worth it.

"You wanna know my truth?"

"Aren't you supposed to be at a party?", Cora was no longer interested in talking about matters of the heart, because she had told him she didn't have one.

Looking at the time, it was already 22: 24 hours. That's about the time most partygoers start having fun. He wanted to go, but if there's no Cora, there's no party for Noah.

"You aren't going", Noah replied, hurt.

"I am sleepy right now. Why don't you check yourself out for me to get some sleep?"

"Ha, you want to get rid of me? Maybe I should stay. That way, I will hear you talk in your dreams."

Concerned, Cora asked, "What is it that you want to hear me say?"

Although they were sitting across from each other, Cora was looking towards the kitchen, avoiding his gaze and Noah shamefully was looking everywhere else.

"Dunno", Noah replied.

Cora weighed her answer for a long time. She wanted to hear what he thought, but to ask she had to share, and she hated sharing her feelings. If she went to bed right now, she would be compelled to take Noah with her or at least let him stay until whatever time he wanted, but with her behavior, she couldn't sleep around him.

Cora knows herself. She had recorded herself sleeping, and at times she found out the following morning that she had been talking nonsense. With that, she was terrified of sharing her private thoughts in the sleep, because many are the days she sees Noah in her dreams.

"I don't know what you want to hear me say, but until then, just go join the party."

Noah made a smart face. "If you are not going, I'm not going without you. But, if you want to sleep, go ahead. I'll leave in the middle of the night after I have watched this movie."

He pointed at the muted TV.

"What's the matter Noah?", Cora asked finally.

Although they have been around each other for a few days, their mysterious relationship has bloomed to the point that they have slept together. Cora knows when Noah has something going on in his mind and he is trying to get his point across without getting intimidated. By this far, she knows how tense he gets around her, and the truth is she is good at suppressing that she also gets nervous around him.

"I want to make sure you are okay."

Noah said seriously, and for that moment Cora knew what he was talking about.

"Of course. Do you see me fainting?"

Cora's answer came out aggressive because she never wanted to admit that Noah was her first and that all that bullshit she had said before was out of her head and not experience. In any way, Noah didn't think less of her now that he knew she was a virgin. Instead, he thinks of her in such admiration. He is in love, and his true love happens to have saved herself unintentionally for him.

The last thing Noah wants is to make her feel uncomfortable, and nothing can put Cora off than being seen as weak.

"Just asking. You want to spoon?"

"Fuck no."

Cora was back again, all bossy and ready to get past her virginity.

"I am going to sleep now. Have nightmares in your sleep when you do. If you are sleeping here, you better take the guest bedroom. I'm not sleeping with you."

Noah's heartbeats quickened, he was frightened of the offer and excited to spend the night in her apartment. Everything in here is better than whatever he has back at the hostels, and her towels are light as cotton and soft.

But he can't imagine making her break her rules like that. He wanted to stay the night in her bed and make sure that she was okay.

"If you can assure me you're feeling okay, I can give you space. I wanted to sleep in your sheets."

"They are all my sheets Noah."

Cora was sleepy, her eyes were closing from time and she took longer to reply. Noah knew she was trying to stay awake.

Taking his phone off the table, he saw a missed call from Cate and his family. Taking one last glance at Cora.

"Today is the best day of my entire existence, just know that. And in case of anything, call me. Any time. (Poking her nose)

See you tomorrow. Sleep tight."

Noah didn't want to leave her like that. She had offered a guest bedroom for him. But, knowing Cora, he knew she wanted to have space to digest all of that. It was a big step, a leap to the unknown, and Cora was yet to think about it.

"Don't show up at my door tomorrow. I'll be out of town for the weekend. I'll see you around. "

Heartbroken, Noah wanted to know when they would see each other again. He is in love with the one person who told him not to, and foolishly he is waiting for her to change her mind. Until then, he'll pop out whenever she goes.

Taking a leap of faith, Noah brought his face close to hers as they were standing outside her place. Locking eyes, he looked at her lips and then went on to plant a warm goodbye kiss.

Cora didn't expect it, but she didn't stop him from doing it either. She nervously closed her eyes and felt his warm lips on hers before he tore them apart.

She was out of words and just widened the distance between them before closing the door.

While inside, she let out a sigh of relief filled with confusion. She never wanted this day to go like this. She had planned to end it and escape from whatever Noah thought was happening.

Now they have done more than talk. She can still feel the warmth inside her thighs from the friction. Her whole body is excited and the euphoric feeling has taken control. She wanted him even more, hard to admit to herself that she wanted him to stay the night on her bed.

"What have I done?", she asked rhetorically while walking towards her bed.

She spotted the lollipop that started all this on the floor and angrily picked it up before rushing with it to the bathroom and flushing it down the toilet.

Tears lingered in her eyes, tears of joy and happiness, tears of confusion and uncertainty, tears of anger that hurt her heart.