To My Dear Andre,

Why is love such a complicated thing?

Carefully holding the piece of parchment where he had written his most elegant writing. Reading each line as I could feel the utmost sincerity in every word, in every sentence. Every year, he would write me his most endearing letter and everything he had written down has always brought a smile to my face. His message, his writings, it's all I have always been looking forward to every year.

If only he had told me the truth.

***

8th of May, 1837

A ray of sunlight beamed through the window of my bedroom, which had brought me awake from my slumber. Upon waking up and slowly opening my eyelids, the first thing I saw was one of my personal maids drawing the curtains, hence why the sunlight had shone over my face.

"Rise and shine, my lady. It is already time to get ready for your big day and you wouldn't want to be late, would you?" Anna, my personal maid, turned around to look at me with a soft smile on her face. Upon realizing the current date today, I quickly jolted out of my bed in excitement.

"Anna! It's the 8th of May! Today's my 12th birthday!" I exclaimed in delight as I felt very giddy and excitedly tugged onto my maid's skirt, then it brought out a giggle to my maid's expression.

"Indeed it is, my lady. Would you like to pick out your dress this time?"

I nodded my head repeatedly then immediately rushed off to my closet. Anna followed behind and opened the closet door for me, revealing a long line of dresses. There's so many to choose from and there's so many I wanted to wear, if only I could have my birthday everyday then I won't have to wait for another year to wear one of these.

After giving it a long thought, I finally made a decision and picked out an elegant-looking red dress, then Anna went to carefully take the dress out of the closet before setting it on my bed. I was then taken away for a bath before Anna and the rest of my maids helped me get dressed and prepared.

"You look so beautiful, my lady!"

"So elegant and lovely, perfect for a growing lady such as yourself!"

As I was showered in praise by my maids, a knock came on the door and opened, revealing my mother who was beautifully dressed.

"It's someone's birthday today~!"

I quickly got up from my chair and rushed to my mother with open arms.

"Mother!" I gave her a tight hug as she let out a chuckle.

"Careful now, you might trip and ruin your dress. Are you ready to head out?"

I nodded my head before my mother took my hand and we both walked out of my room.

"Have a great day at the party, my lady!" Anna called out happily as I waved at her while heading out to take my leave.

"Mother, is Elwyn coming to the party?" I looked up at my mother curiously. Elwyn has been my playmate since I was four and we both have been close since. But two years ago, Elwyn had left me a letter and said that he had to go and study in another country. It's been a long time since I last saw and heard from him, I hope he hasn't forgotten about me.

Mother fell silent for a moment, which made me tilt my head while waiting for her answer. She then gave me a close-eyed smile with a light nod. My expression widened in delight, to think that my best friend is finally coming back after not hearing anything from him for two years!

I quickly got on the carriage and I was leaning against the window, excitedly thinking about Elwyn's arrival and what he would look like now after being separated from him for two years. I honestly want to hug him so tight and never let him go once I finally see him, I cannot wait to play with him again.

The carriage soon made its stop then I quickly got out, I couldn't hold my excitement for much longer, I want to see Elwyn again!

"Dear, wait!" I heard my mother calling out to me from the carriage but I didn't stop, I firmly held up my skirt while running to prevent myself from tripping as I was rushing towards the venue of my birthday party, which is my grandparents' manor that we often now use as a venue to hold parties and major gatherings.

The moment I arrived at the entrance and came face-to-face with the huge door in front of me, along with two servants who stood by outside to greet me.

"Happy birthday, my lady" They both bowed simultaneously.

"We have been waiting patiently for your arrival" One of them said before they both stood straight and opened the door for me. Before I went inside, I turned to look at the both of them curiously and hopefully.

"Is Elwyn here??"

The two servants looked at each other for a moment with a slightly hesitant look.

"Why, if it isn't the star of the party!" I immediately turned around to see a well-dressed man in a dashing blue coat.

"Uncle Theodore!" I gleefully went up to my uncle and gave him a firm hug, to which he then reciprocated and loudly laughed.

"You're all grown up! How old are you again?"

"I'm already 12, uncle Theodore! How could you forget that?" I pouted at him. He's so forgetful, honestly.

He laughed again and gently ruffled my hair without ruining it.

"My apologies, looks like my age is catching up to me. Let's head in, shall we?" He offered his arm then I nodded and held on to it as he escorted me inside the manor.

The party then began upon my arrival and it went on for the whole day. So many people came to greet me and lavish me with amazing gifts. Some of the adults came up to me and introduced me to their children who are about my age and became acquainted with them. Everything went so well at the party. Well... almost.

Elwyn never came.

The sun has begun to set and I just let out a sigh while standing by the fountain of our garden. I'm a bit disappointed that Elwyn never showed up. I guess he's really busy.

Or maybe...

My train of thoughts broke as I heard the sound of footsteps behind me. I turned around to see a young man who I am not familiar with. He seemed to be a bit older than me but he doesn't look like an adult either. He wore a gray coat and his ash-blonde hair was illuminated by the hue of the setting sunlight. His eyes gave off a complimenting color of emerald, that it could be described like a beautiful gemstone.

"Why is a fair lady such as yourself, let alone the spotlight of the party, out here without company?" His voice was so soothing and calm, I can't help but feel rather allured by the tone of his voice.

"O-oh.. I'm just... I was just.." I don't understand what came over me. I feel overwhelmed all of a sudden, I somehow couldn't explain properly to him.

"It's alright, my lady. You don't have to force yourself into answering me" He just smiled lightly.

"My name is Andre Sylvestine. It's our first time meeting but I have heard so much about you, my lady. After all, the Sylvestines owe so much to your family, and so we're taught to treat you with utmost respect and serve you with the best we can do" He gave a formal bow as he introduced himself.

"Ah, please, you needn't have to bow... please raise your head, Sir Sylvestine.." I waved both of my hands in front of me as I felt slightly embarrassed. He let out a light chuckle as he raised his head.

"My lady, pardon me for being presumptuous, but you seem to show a slight hint of disappointment on your face ever since I arrived here. Are you dissatisfied with the party?" He tilted his head to the side out of curiosity.

I could feel my stomach sink for a moment. It is like he had seen right through me and I could not escape from it. Should I tell him the truth? I clenched my hand over my chest while nervously gulping down, pondering on how I should answer him.

"Y-you see... I was actually waiting for someone... but he never came" I looked down bitterly and quite disheartened.

"Oh? Is this person a friend of yours, my lady?"

"Indeed he is... but we haven't seen each other in years since he had moved to another country to study. He must have forgotten about me. I can't blame him, we've been apart for so long after all.."

I could feel my tears leaking out, that is until I felt a warm touch under my eye and wiped off the escaping tear. My eyes soon landed on Andre who was standing right in front of me.

"Please don't cry, my lady. Your tears will stain your natural beauty, and the effort you had put to look this beautiful on your birthday will be ruined"

I gave him a nod as a response and took a deep breath.

"My apologies for showing myself in such a state... it's not very lady-like of me"

"Sadness is a natural human emotion, it does not make you any less of a lady at all. In my own perspective, of course. But since today is your big day, it's best to spend your time more happily. You wouldn't want to remember your coming of age as sorrowful, would you?"

Honestly, he's right. I shouldn't let my disappointment ruin this day for me. I let out a soft giggle before I gazed up on him.

"Thank you, Sir Sylvestine"

"Please, just call me Andre, my lady" He gently took my hand and proceeded to give a light kiss on the back of my palm. I was slightly stunned for a moment, not because of the hand kiss but the way he looks while doing so. He looks so radiant and elegant, and the beaming light from the setting sun is making him look even more refined.

As the sky is getting dimmer, Andre took his time to stare up and enjoy the view of the sky. He then turned his head towards me with a light smile.

"Shall we head inside now, my lady? Your guests might be wondering where you might have gone"

I then nodded at him before he offered his arm, to which I gently grabbed and held on to then he escorted me back inside the manor and I continued mingling with some of the guests.

Soon, most of the guests had started bidding their farewells and went to take their leave while some were still chatting around in small groups. I did not bother joining in since I never understood any of the conversations between adults, and mother will just end up telling me that I'm still too young to be listening to any of it.

I went to the balcony upstairs as I leaned over the railings and looked up at the moon that shone so bright, it illuminated over the yard outside.

Noticing a potted bush of red roses right beside me, I then went to carefully pluck out a rose from the bush, slowly twirling it as I ended up remembering Elwyn offering me a white rose during our first meeting, and that day was on my 4th birthday. For 6 years, he would offer me a white rose on my birthday along with a written poem, and that was all until he decided to move away. I never received a single rose nor a letter from him since. I missed him so much.

"Oh Elwyn, if only I could receive your letter just at least once in every year. I would be assured that you're still thinking of me even from far away.." I gazed up to the starry night sky while holding the rose close to my chest.

"My lady, here you are"

I was suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice right behind me that I quickly turned around to see who it was. My eyes met with his soft and radiant smile, as I slowly glanced down, I noticed that he was holding a letter in an envelope then he offered it to me.

"Someone requested me to give this to you"

Curious I was, so I accepted the envelope and noticed the sender's initials written at the back.

Ainsworth, E.

My eyes widened upon reading the initials and quickly opened up the envelope, finding a letter inside then I took it out and quickly unfold it to read what it says.

My dearest lady,

I humbly apologize for not attending your special day once again. It has been 2 years since we last saw each other, hasn't it? The weather seems fair today, reminding me of your outshining beauty that I had always looked upon during our time together for the past 6 years before I had left the country. I am hoping to see such beauty once again upon my return. Although it is uncertain, I will definitely someday return to you and make up for the lost time we had together. I wish you good health and happiness.

-E. Ains

I could feel a sense of relief in my heart and held the letter close to my chest. To think that my wish came true, and Elwyn still does think of me after all. I am content with this, it's the best gift I could ever receive on this joyous day. I glanced back at Andre who has been standing by my side with a warm smile still plastered on his face.

"Thank you" I smiled back at him and he immediately responded with a nod.

"Well then, I shall be heading off to take my leave. It was wonderful meeting you, my lady and Happy birthday" He bowed for a moment before leaving. I honestly want to talk to him more but I shouldn't keep him any longer, it's already late and he might still have other important matters to attend to. I sighed at the thought and just turned around to gaze up upon the moon once again, thanking the heavens for granting my wish.

***

8th of May, 1838

"Rise and shine, my lady"

I groaned while stubbornly holding on to my pillow and burying my face with it.

"My lady, you're gonna be late for your big day if you keep staying in bed" Anna warned as I could hear her drawing the curtains open.

"I don't want to, Anna..." I mumbled under the pillow.

"Why not, my lady? Are you feeling ill?"

"I just don't feel like it.." Knowing that Elwyn most likely wouldn't attend once again, I don't think there's anything else to look forward to.

"Oh dear, should I tell Mr. Sylvestine that you won't be attending your party today?"

My ears perked up at the mention of his name and my body quickly sat up on impulse. Did I hear her right? Andre is coming today?

"Andre is coming??" Anna let out a light chuckle before answering with a smile.

"Mr. Sylvestine is currently waiting for you in the lobby, my lady"

"Why didn't you say so earlier?!" I quickly got out of bed and went to start getting myself ready without having to wait for assistance from my maids.

As soon as I had finished getting ready, I immediately rushed out to the lobby. There, I spotted a familiar head with ash-blonde hair. He was standing by the window as his natural charms were illuminated by the sunlight that had passed through the window pane and shone over his face.

"S-Sir Andre! I never thought you would be coming over today, let alone this early" I delightfully approached him as I was pleased to see him again. Ever since my first meeting with him, we then would occasionally meet on social gatherings between nobles, although it only happens once in a few months so we don't often get to see each other.

"Why would I miss such an important occasion, my lady?" He then lightly chuckled before he went up to me and handed me another envelope.

"Oh? What's this?" I curiously accepted the envelope.

"A present for you, my lady"

I flipped the envelope as my eyes laid upon the same initials as the one I received on my 12th birthday in the previous year. I quickly opened the envelope, revealing a letter, and when I unfolded to read it, my heart started racing as I could feel my expression lighten up. Elwyn had written me a letter once again and it has made my whole day. It's a shame that he wouldn't be present this time again but him being able to have the time to write another letter for me is enough. It shows that he still remembers me.

"I always wonder, are you a close friend of Elwyn as well?" I turned to look at Andre as I tilted my head curiously. It's no coincidence that he delivered Elwyn's letter to me twice now. It would have made much more sense if they were close or at least have a connection somehow.

He sheepishly chuckled while scratching the back of his head. "It's slightly embarrassing but not exactly, maybe a connected acquaintance is how I would describe it? The Sylvestines and Ainsworths have known each other for a while as we partnered up in the family business for years. Elwyn being the heir of the house of Ainsworth and myself being the heir of the Sylvestines, it's no surprise that we have some kind of connection"

"So.. Does it mean you knew Elwyn's whereabouts all along?"

"I'm afraid I cannot lie to you, my lady. But the young master of Ainsworth had always been secretive and kept us in the dark on his whereabouts so I can't give you a proper answer to that. My deepest apologies. That letter has been sent to my household this morning. If I were to guess, he might've done this to keep you from finding him easily"

"But.. Why would he do such drastic measures to keep his whereabouts hidden? Why would he hide from me? Did I do something wrong?" I could feel my heart clenching just thinking about Elwyn doing such a thing. Is this why he never bothered returning?

"My lady, let's not overthink this. Surely he must have his reasons. Let's try to understand the position he might be in right now, hence why he hasn't shown up yet. Maybe not right now, but someday he will, I promise" He gently grabbed both of my hands as he tried to assure me. I feel at ease now thanks to him. I'm glad I have a friend like him by my side in Elwyn's stead.

"Alright, I'll hold on to that promise. Thank you, Sir Andre"

"My pleasure"

***

8th of May, 1843

Before the sun had risen, I quickly got up from my bed and rushed out of my room in excitement. I didn't bother changing from my nightgown and quickly headed for the garden from the backdoor of the manor.

5 years had passed and ever since then, Andre and I agreed to meet at the garden every sunrise on this day and he would send me Elwyn's letter every time as a present. As for the main reason why we had to do this instead of him delivering the letter to me normally during the party, it's because we wanted to see the sunrise together every year on my birthday. Watching the sunrise with a close friend on your special day feels wonderful and a great way to start off the day.

As I arrived at the garden and made my way to the center, there he was, reading a book while sitting by the fountain. I giggled upon seeing the view and approached him.

"Have I kept you waiting?"

He paused from reading and looked up to me as he let out a warm smile. "Not at all, my lady~"

I giggled as a response and sat next to him. "I see"

He soon reached out to his chest pocket and gave me another envelope. "Happy 18th birthday~"

"Thank you, good sir" I giggled as I accepted the envelope and proceeded to read the letter inside. It has brought me warmth to read Elwyn's letter once again. His message never fails to make me smile every time and it is all I could ever ask for.

"Got any plans for your birthday party today?" He tilted his head curiously.

"Maybe not much but we could sneak out to watch the ducks by the lake" I chuckled after my suggestion, to which he followed along.

"Oh dear, is my lady in her rebellious phase now? You weren't this mischievous back then" He teased and I just huffed out a pout.

"I was just kidding~" He added, then looked up at the sky. I turned my head up as well then admired the view of the sunrise. The garden has the perfect view for watching the sunrise. I truly think this is my favorite part of the day and not just on my birthday.

After gazing at the sunrise, I stood up and stretched my arms.

"It's time for me to get ready, Anna might lose her head looking for me when she realizes that I'm not in my room" I giggled at the thought then Andre stood up as well.

"I'll be heading back soon as well. I'll be seeing you later in the party, my lady" He gently grabbed and kissed the back of my hand before slowly letting go and went to take his leave by passing through a passage behind the bushes.

After getting ready for the party, mother suddenly visited my room which slightly surprised me as I saw her reflection through the mirror while I was brushing my hair. I paused for a moment and turned around to look at her.

"Mother? Do you need something from me?"

"Happy birthday, my dear" She gave a soft smile and sat down on my bed. She then patted down the space beside her. "Let's talk for a moment"

I blinked for a moment, wondering what she wanted to talk about so I went over to my bed and sat down right beside her. "What is it, mother?"

"Dear, do you still remember that boy from the house of Ainsworth?"

"Why, of course! I would never have forgotten about Elwyn!"

"Listen to me.. You mustn't obsess yourself with that boy"

"I... don't quite understand mother.."

The next thing my mother had told me changed my views permanently. I was in utter disbelief that I quickly got up and rushed out of my room. I went out to the stables and got on my horse, taking myself for a ride somewhere, anywhere, I just want to be left alone.

I can't believe that for the past 6 years, I've been living a lie and made myself a fool. I was so foolish to believe that someone I've been yearning for in my heart had at least thought of me every year on a certain day. I was a fool to think that I could trust myself for a man I barely knew, a man who had manipulated me completely and used my greatest wish to take control of my emotions.

I soon arrived at a lake which is located deep into the woods. I slowly got off my horse before my emotions started getting to me and gave me an emotional breakdown. I could not stop myself from crying after everything I've heard. It broke my heart completely to hear the truth. Why has nobody talked to me about this sooner?

"My lady!"

I quickly turned my head upon hearing that familiar voice. He approached me in a slightly panicked manner as I could see the concerned look on his face, or at least that's how he would like to portray it.

"My lady, thank goodness you're alright. Everyone's worried about-"

Before he could finish his sentence, I immediately cut him off as I slapped him across the face. He gave a surprised look and then followed by confusion.

"M-My lady..?"

"How could you make me live like this?! How can you still bring yourself to talk to me after everything you've done?! And how dare you use my dearest friend's name for your own gain!"

"..My lady, please let me explain-"

"Why didn't you tell me that Elwyn's been dead for 8 years?!"

"I.." His voice trailed off before his guilt made him glance down to the side. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. You just seemed so happy.."

"So turning me into a hopeless fool entertains you? For what gain?! You gave me a false hope that will never come true no matter how many times I wish for it to happen!"

He fell silent, I could see the complete look of guilt written all over his face.

"Just.. Go" I turned around, unable to look him in the eye. I feel so betrayed. Just when I thought I had a friend who would help me out in times I feel lonely because Elwyn is no longer by my side. I don't know where to turn to anymore.

I could hear his footsteps retreating, I slightly turned my head to see him leaving with his back turned to me. I then continued to cry for hours on end from the heartbreak I got. This has got to be my worst day ever, and I don't know if things will ever get better from now on.

The sun had soon begun to set and I was still by the lake, wiping and drying out my tears. I feel so exhausted that I barely have the energy to do anything. I slowly stood up and got on my horse, heading back home at a slow pace. As soon as I arrived back home, I decided to pass through the passage of the garden and enter the backdoor instead to avoid being seen. Even though I never really showed up to the party, a couple of people still came to visit and I didn't want to risk being seen by them.

I had successfully got back into my room and threw myself onto my bed. I'm completely exhausted, both physically and emotionally. It's just so much to take in and it might take a very long time before I will ever be able to recover from this.

The next morning came, I didn't feel like getting out of bed. I just want to stay like this for a while, or maybe forever. Anna then soon came into my room to do her usual routine, but she gave up persuading me when I said I didn't want to get out of bed. She just let out a sigh and decided to deliver my breakfast later instead.

Everything feels so heavy, apart from my aching heart, it's like my whole body is being pulled down by an immense force that prevents me from getting up or at least moving my body.

A knock came at the door but I did not respond to it. As it was being opened, Anna slowly entered the room.

"My lady, there's a letter for you"

"If it's from Elwyn or Andre, I don't want it.."

"It.. does not say, actually.." Anna flipped over the envelope to look for any initials from the sender.

"Just place it on my drawer, I'll read it when I feel like it"

Anna nodded at my order and went to place the envelope on the drawer as she was told before leaving the room. Now it's back to just me and silence.

***

8th of May, 1844

I got up once again before the sun could and just sat there by the edge of my bed while staring down on the floor, thinking back to everything that had happened on this very day for 7 years straight. All the lies I was being fed with, all the false hope I was being showered with. Thinking back to the incident in the previous year has made me feel all numb and empty. I have nothing to look forward to anymore.

A knock was on the door and I told them to come in. As the door opened, it revealed Anna as she was holding a small tray with an envelope on it.

"There's a letter for you, my lady"

"Just put it on the drawer, I'll read it later"

As she did so, I got out of bed and went to start getting ready, although I have nothing to expect on this day, I must at least show my face to the guests who had come all the way just to see me. It would be rude of me to just simply hide myself away from them.

I had finished getting ready as I got on the carriage that soon took me to my grandparents' manor, the same place where I had my 12th birthday. As we finally arrived, I got off the carriage and made my way to the manor. Upon my arrival, I was greeted by the guests who had already arrived at the venue earlier and I decided to put on a little charade and hide my emptiness as I spent my whole day chatting with them.

The day had gone by quicker than I expected. Some of the guests came up to me to say their farewells and take their leave as I continued to chat with the others who had stayed. Not long after, a tall man in a gray coat came up to me. I was slightly startled as my eyes laid upon the color of his coat, it's probably because that was the color he wore during our first meeting. Although the man isn't him and his hair is in the darker shade of brown, he shows a slight resemblance, especially the color of his eyes.

"My lady, a thousand apologies for the sudden approach. I'm Eddison Sylvestine, the younger brother of Andre Sylvestine. I'm not here to waste your precious time so I'll cut the idle chatter" The man reached out from his chest pocket and offered me an envelope with a seal on it.

I was slightly confused for a moment, considering the fact that I never expected that I would receive two letters in a day.

"This was sent to our household this morning, although it was rather addressed to you directly so I came to deliver this letter to you. Has Andre ever told you of his departure?"

"Andre left..?"

"Indeed he has, he left to serve in the military 6 months ago"

"I see.." I then just accepted the letter with a nod.

He nodded back then fixed up his coat. "Well then, I shall be taking my leave now. Happy birthday, my lady. Hope you have a great night" Then he left.

I looked down upon the letter on my hand and went upstairs towards the balcony to give myself some time alone. As I arrived on the balcony, the moon was radiantly bright tonight. I carefully opened up the envelope and slowly took out the letter inside. As much as I hate having to do anything with him, I'm rather curious as to why this letter was written for me yet was sent to the Sylvestine household.

1st of May, 1844

To my dearest lady,

This may be my final letter to you, for I have gotten myself involved in a path that I can no longer turn away from. My foolishness has not yet been learned, despite the pain it has inflicted upon you. Once this letter has been delivered to you, it means my life had finally reached its end and the duel had already declared its victor, and unfortunately, that victor isn't me. As much as I want to spend my final moments after making amends with you, I would greatly assume that you would rather have me gone than to see me again. I am well-aware that you haven't read any of my letters since that day, and I am not going to persuade nor force you against your will to read them. As long as you're happy and smiling once more, I have nothing else to ask for. Your happiness is all that matters to me. It broke my heart to see you in despair, therefore I could not bring myself to tell you the truth. I wish you good health and happiness, my lady. May your smile return to your outshining beauty and find the one who can maintain that smile until the end of your time.

With all my love,

-A. Syl

And before I knew it, tears were falling down, staining the parchment and the ink written on it. I quickly wiped off the tears from my eyes and rushed off to find a servant to prepare the carriage. I got on and hurried back home. As soon as I finally arrived back home, I went straight for my room and immediately opened up the drawer where I had told Anna to put away the letters that were given to me previously. I picked up the two unopened envelopes and went to open the first one that was written to me on the day after my birthday in the previous year.

8th of May, 1843

My dear lady,

I am utterly unable to explain how much I deeply regret doing all these things to you for the past 6 years. Your face of despair was the sign of how much I terribly messed up and there is nothing that can undo the damage that I've caused. The hopeful look in your eyes was too irresistible for me to tell you the truth. I had intended to tell you when the time is right, but no matter how many times I try to make an attempt to confess, that look you make as you were innocently expecting for your dear friend's letter makes it even harder for me to do so. It is no excuse, but your happiness and smile is the only thing that mattered the most to me. Though if I had told you sooner, I would have spared you the misery and pain. I should have thought this through, I am deeply sorry, my lady. I shall not expect your forgiveness, but as long as I get to see that lovely smile of yours once more, even if it is no longer for me nor for Elwyn, there is nothing more I could ever ask for.

-A. Syl

I then opened up the second letter that Anna had delivered this morning.

16th of November, 1843

To my dearest lady,

By the time this letter has been delivered to you on your 19th birthday, I had already left to serve the military. For these past 6 months, I've reflected upon my actions and thought that I should no longer bother you with my presence, I'll end up making you remember all the lies I've given you and I don't want to hinder your recovery. In this letter, I want to confess everything to you.

You may not know this but on your 10th birthday, we were supposed to be introduced by our parents, but an unfortunate accident had occurred with only me and my brother being the remaining survivors. And then by the time you've come of age on your 12th birthday, it was the perfect opportunity to introduce myself to you personally. I wasn't lying about the Sylvestines owing so much to your family, your family has been a great help to us for several generations and the only way we could pay that debt is by showing our loyalty. The moment I finally got to meet you face-to-face was the day I swore to myself that I must protect your smile no matter the cost, even if it means I have to lie and write you false letters every year. I am willing to do anything for your smile and maintain it for as long as I can. My only regret is that I never got to tell you any of this myself and ended up hurting you even more. I may never get another chance to talk to you again and make up for my mistake, but one day when you've finally recovered, I do hope you'll finally get to find the right person who will genuinely make an unconditional effort to make you smile without any lies, without any tricks. Just pure love for you and for your happiness. I wish you well, my lady. And happy birthday.

With all my love,

-A. Syl

My knees weakened as I fell to the floor, tightly embracing the pieces of parchments close to my chest as I sobbed out in despair. My anger and frustration had completely blinded me from Andre's true intentions. I no longer have the chance to make amends with him, he is no longer around to hear my words, I won't be able to tell him anymore my feelings, I can no longer hear his words of comfort and his soothing voice. I won't be able to see his radiant smile anymore. If only I had given him the chance to explain, if only I wasn't clouded by my emotions. If only I was given another chance to see him one last time.

Oh Andre, why did you have to go so soon? I wish I hadn't taken your efforts for granted. If I had given you a chance to explain yourself at that moment, would things have been different? Would you still be here with me right now? Would I still be able to hear your genuine words?

If we were to meet again in another life, I am willing to repay every bit of the love and care you have given me in all of these years. I'm willing to pay you back a hundredfold. I am willing to write you letters everyday in every year, without missing a second, treat you right, and never take your kindness for granted.

Thank you for everything, Andre.

-Fin-