To My Dearest Lady,

It's funny how love works in complicated ways.

I can never forget the look on her face during the first time we met, her natural beauty goes beyond comparison. She's a white rose blooming in a bush of red roses. The way she smiles, it's so radiating and outshining, I had feared that one day it would become too blinding and I'll no longer be able to see. There's no other lady who can move me with just a simple glance and smile. No one but her.

If only I had not shattered that smile along with her heart.

***

I was the eldest son of the Sylvestine household. A son of a Baronet. The responsibility was handed to me so soon as both of my parents had passed when I was 16. An unfortunate accident had occurred as the whole family, including myself, were supposedly out to travel and visit a Countess, who is a family friend from across the country. The accident had taken the lives of my parents, whereas my younger brother and I had suffered mental trauma from the events for quite a while.

At 18, I had to resume the duties of my family. I cannot afford to skip my responsibilities or it would ruin the reputation of the house of Sylvestine. At that time, it was when I heard that the daughter of the Countess is turning 12 soon so I had thought of taking the opportunity to finally come and meet her personally.

8th of May, 1837

It was a long trip, but as time passed, I had always wondered what she looked like. As we were supposed to be introduced by our parents when I was still 16, it never happened due to the accident. I've only heard stories of her and her family from my parents when I was little, and I only happen to see old portraits of the former Earls and Countesses in previous generations. Our forefathers were saved by them and up until now, we still carry out our loyalty to them as a way to repay our debt.

My train of thoughts were soon disrupted as the carriage had made its stop. I turned my head to the window and noticed a large gate right outside. I then got off the carriage and stood in front of the gate, as I was about to make my way inside, a young girl in an elegant red dress suddenly rushed through and passed by like a torrent through a strait. That was dangerous, luckily she barely bumped into me so neither of us ended up falling. She didn't seem to notice my presence either, I wonder what made her hurry so?

"Excuse me, young man. You wouldn't happen to be a descendant of the late Sir Adrius, are you?"

I turned my head and met with a man in his forties, wearing a blue coat and his dark red hair was slicked back into a ponytail. He must be a relative of the Countess.

"Why, indeed I am. I came here to represent the house of Sylvestine and pay a visit to the young Lady since.. Well, both of my parents had already passed away and I ended up inheriting the title" I stood firm while giving the man a proper answer. He seemed to be satisfied with it and nodded as a response.

"I see. You have my condolences, young lad. I hope to see a bright future for the house of Sylvestine someday" He approached me and gave a pat on my shoulder before he made his way through the gate and headed for the manor. I let out a small breath of relief, it was a nerve wracking moment.

As I had gone past the gates and headed closer for the manor, I could see the same young girl in the distance, her arm firmly holding onto the red-haired man in a blue coat. For a moment there, the girl seemed quite familiar but I decided to keep my curiosity in for now and went inside after them. When I finally got inside the manor, I noticed that the young girl was suddenly being surrounded by the adults in the room, showering her with praises and lavishing her with gifts. That's when a realization came and struck me, that the young girl is the daughter of the Countess that I had been eager to meet.

I tried to find the right time to approach her to avoid making a bad first impression, so I decided to mingle with the other guests and have a short chat with them.

Hours went by and I could feel myself getting bored as I pretended to listen intently to a fellow guest on her narcissistic and self-praising talks. It is always the same thing with these people, all they talk about is money, titles, connections, achievements, and not a single care about the lower class' situation. But even so, I have to be respectful, as the vast majority of the guests here are nobles of a higher status than mine. Cannot afford to lose my head and drag the Sylvestine name into the mud.

I was soon about to conclude my conversation with the fellow guest, then I realized that I lost sight of the young Lady. I turned my head from side-to-side, searching the area on her whereabouts. How careless of me, I should not have gotten myself distracted.

"I deeply apologize for cutting our meeting short. I shall see you in another time, Lady Pivelle" I bowed and went to gently kiss the back of the maiden's hand, to which she responded with a bashful giggle.

I then began my search for the young Lady. She's usually the center of attraction, but seeing that no one is gathering in huge groups or forming a huge crowd, she must be elsewhere. I pondered for a moment on the possible places she could have gone, then the first thing that came into my mind was right in front of me. Up ahead, there is a door that leads to the garden, she must be out to get some fresh air.

I went towards the door and opened it. Upon looking at the view outside, there's a stone path that leads towards a bush tunnel. I followed the path, then it seems that my intuition was right. At the end of the tunnel is a large fountain, and I happen to see the young Lady right there, all alone.

I thought that this may be the perfect opportunity to introduce myself to her so I approached her in a subtle manner. She turned around and our eyes met. I was slightly taken aback, for this is the first time I had seen her face up close. The illuminating hue of the sunset tinted her eyes as it sparkled like well-polished stones, and her hair gracefully flowing in the slightly humid breeze.

"Why is a fair lady such as yourself, let alone the spotlight of the party, out here without company?" I tried to make it seem like a coincidence meeting her as I slowly walked towards her.

"O-oh.. I'm just... I was just.." I can tell that she's nervous, I should try to lighten up the mood to make her feel at ease. I gave her a soft smile and bowed to show my respect.

"It's alright, my lady. You don't have to force yourself into answering me. My name is Andre Sylvestine. It's our first time meeting but I have heard so much about you, my lady. After all, the Sylvestines owe so much to your family, and so we're taught to treat you with utmost respect and serve you with the best we can do"

"Ah, please, you needn't have to bow... please raise your head, Sir Sylvestine.."

I raised my head and saw her becoming more troubled. Ah, did I make her uncomfortable? I should change the subject before I end up making a fool out of myself.

"My lady, pardon me for being presumptuous, but you seem to show a slight hint of disappointment on your face ever since I arrived here. Are you dissatisfied with the party?" I tilted my head in a curious manner. I did notice from her expression that she seemed like she was expecting something but it never happened. I waited for her to answer and stayed quiet to avoid pressuring her.

She looked down as she took a moment to answer. "Y-you see... I was actually waiting for someone... but he never came" She gave a slightly bitter tone and as I saw her disheartened expression, I could feel my heart sinking. How can someone be so cruel to leave her like this? She waited for this person and he made her wait this long. I cannot allow such insolent behavior to pass, especially not towards her.

"Oh? Is this person a friend of yours, my lady?" I had to hold my tongue, otherwise I wouldn't only be directing the insult at the culprit but I might also offend her, considering that we both had just met and it wouldn't be right if I immediately judged someone I barely knew while she may have known this person more than I have.

"Indeed he is... but we haven't seen each other in years since he had moved to another country to study. He must have forgotten about me. I can't blame him, we've been apart for so long after all.." I could slowly see her eyes shining, then the second I noticed a tear escaping from her eyelid, I swiftly went closer but still keeping my boundaries as I immediately wiped the tear away before it would stain her cheek. Our eyes met once again and it felt like the world stopped for a moment. Her innocent gaze felt like a sword that pierced through my heart, so sharp yet it doesn't hurt. It makes me want to preserve it more and protect it no matter the cost.

"Please don't cry, my lady. Your tears will stain your natural beauty, and the effort you had put to look this beautiful on your birthday will be ruined"

She nodded as a response before she took a deep breath and finally calmed herself down.

"My apologies for showing myself in such a state... it's not very lady-like of me" Oh my lady, why are you apologizing? The blame shouldn't be your responsibility.

"Sadness is a natural human emotion, it does not make you any less of a lady at all. In my own perspective, of course. But since today is your big day, it's best to spend your time more happily. You wouldn't want to remember your coming of age as sorrowful, would you?"

She giggled softly, which gave flutters to my heart. She seemed so precious, like a gemstone without a beholder but cannot be owned.

"Thank you, Sir Sylvestine"

"Please, just call me Andre, my lady" I gently took her ever-so-delicate hand and lightly kissed the back of her palm. Holding these hands must be handled with lots of care, to which I feared that I might unintentionally hold her too tight and end up hurting her.

I then looked up at the sky as it slowly began to dim. The day is about to end and my lady still has yet to feel the completeness of her special event. I turned my head towards her with a soft smile, I believe it's time to take her back inside or she might catch a cold.

"Shall we head inside now, my lady? Your guests might be wondering where you might have gone" I offered my arm for her to grab on then she took it, and held on before I escorted her back inside the manor. When we both got inside, she slowly let go of my arm and thanked me before some of the guests suddenly came over and flocked around her.

I then started taking my leave and went to find the Countess. She wasn't too hard to find as I could spot her from the railings upstairs. I went to approach a servant and request for an audience with the Countess. The servant led the way as I followed him upstairs. I waited at a distance as he went to relay my request. I want to find out the person who made my lady feel disheartened and let her down.

The Countess soon made her way towards me then I immediately bowed at her presence.

"The eldest son of the late Sir Adrius and Lady Sylvestine, Andre- or perhaps I should refer to you as Sir Andre from now on?"

"I'd be honored, Madam"

"Please raise your head"

I raised my head upon her order and stood firm. The Countess gave a gentle look on her face and lightly dusted my shoulder.

"You've grown taller than the last time we have met, dear. I'm sorry for you and your brother's loss. Is your younger brother not with you?"

"I am grateful for your condolences, and I also would like to apologize on Edd's behalf, Madam. He is currently unable to attend as he went to visit his fiance from out of town"

"Is that so? Ah.. young love, it's quite nice to hear that you and your brother are doing well for the past 2 years. Do you not have a fiance or perhaps a lover yet?" The sudden shift of the topic had slightly taken me aback, then I immediately tried to keep my composure before giving my answer.

"Unfortunately, I have not yet found a fiance nor a maiden to court. As the current head of the Sylvestine household, it is indeed quite embarrassing to admit"

"What a shame, you even inherited your father's charms. But I guess there's nothing to fret, there are plenty of young maidens to choose from and you still are quite young, so you pretty much have plenty of time. Why not ask for the hand of Lord Pivelle's daughter? I took notice of you chatting with her earlier. Surely, you must fancy her?" She gave a subtle sly grin. Oh dear, it looks like the Madam had a slight misunderstanding.

"Oh no, Madam. With all due respect for the Honourable Lady Pivelle, I'm afraid I don't see her that way. She's a fine lady indeed, but such beauty deserves a better man on equal footing, and I don't meet such standard"

"Nonsense, child. You are a man of honor. Even for a Baronet, you show such promise and indeed a man that deserves a fair maiden like Lady Pivelle herself. Shall I arrange a meeting for the both of you at a scheduled time?"

"I appreciate the thought and effort, Madam, but I'm afraid I have to decline. There is indeed a maiden in mind that I wished to pursue, but I would like to take my time to court her first. They say that love blossoms in full when nurtured in their own pace"

"Very well, I wish you the best of luck. Please do not hesitate to come to me if you require any assistance or counseling, I'll do my best to be of help to you"

"I'm honored, Madam. Also, I would like to ask you one more thing"

"Speak, child. Do tell me what is on your mind"

"I would like to ask about your daughter, does she have any specific people close to her of some sort?"

"My daughter has not made many friends, apart from a certain boy who used to be her playmate. His name is Elwyn Ainsworth, the only son of the Earl from the Ainsworth household. Why do you ask?"

"I'm just trying to satiate my curiosity. Mind if I ask more about him and his current whereabouts?"

"Unfortunately dear, Elwyn had already passed away 2 years ago due to a tragic crime that had occurred in his estate. Ever since his death, his father decided to move out of the country and up until now, we still haven't heard anything from him" She let out a sigh for a moment.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I appreciate you giving me your time, Madam"

"Don't mention it. I assume you have other things to do?"

"Why, yes. It was a pleasure talking to you, but I'm afraid I still have other matters to attend" I gave the Countess a formal bow before I took my leave as she just nodded at me.

I went to find a guest room and entered. Luckily no one occupied this space so I made my way to the study table, hoping that there would be at least a quill and a piece of parchment to write on. To my luck, I was able to find a stack of blank parchments and a quill so I took it up, dragged the piece of parchment across the table and started writing.

In all honesty, this feels so wrong, but I can't think of any other way to resolve my lady's troubles. It seems the only person she has been waiting for could be that Earl's only son, but she was completely unaware of his death. Breaking the unfortunate news to her will destroy her, and I would rather try to avoid that. As soon as I had finished writing, I put down the quill and gave it a final reading before carefully folding the letter, and went to find an envelope to seal it.

I managed to get things done and made my way to look for her. I looked around the hall and noticed that the other guests were getting ready to leave. Looks like the party's about to end soon, I must hurry and find where my lady has gone. I looked everywhere and there's not a single glimpse of her. Oh where could she be?

I went upstairs and surveyed the area, there weren't a lot of people here so it wouldn't be that hard to spot her. I wandered for a bit then I found her up ahead by the balcony. It seems that she was gazing up at the night sky as she was basked in the moonlight. Her beauty illuminated by the moon's grace somehow made her even fairer like- or maybe even more than a fairy. I was awestruck upon her figure that it felt like something was binding my legs from moving. I cannot help but get lost in a trance for a moment before I snapped out of it and slowly made my way towards her.

"My lady, here you are"

She suddenly turned around and our eyes met. I then gave her a soft smile and approached closer, offering the envelope in my hand as I placed my free hand over my chest.

"Someone requested me to give this to you" I uttered a lie as I handed her the letter. This is very ungentlemanly of me to lie to a lady, but I feel like this is necessary, at least to protect her heart.

She accepted the envelope and began to read the contents inside after seeing the initials I had written at the back. Upon seeing her expression lighten up, it shows that she's convinced by my writing and really thought that the letter came from her late friend. She had a relieved look on her face after reading and held the letter close to her chest while closing her eyes, as if her long-awaited prayer had finally been answered by the heavens. She opened her eyes to glance back at me and gave me a smile. That is the sweetest smile I've ever seen in my whole life, if only I could freeze time and make this moment last-better yet, wanting her smile to stay like this forever. For as long as you keep smiling like this, my lady, I'm willing to do anything for you.

"Thank you" She thanked me as I just nodded in response. If only I could stay a bit longer, but that is not up to me to decide.

"Well then, I shall be heading off to take my leave. It was wonderful meeting you, my lady and Happy birthday" I bowed for a moment before turning around and made my leave. I unfortunately don't know when I'll ever get the chance to meet her again. I cannot wait for the day when fate reunites us on a blissful day.

***

10th of September, 1837

I was invited by Lord Pivelle to a social gathering between nobles at his humble abode. As much as I'm not really interested in such matters, I can't afford to be rude and just turn down the Baron's invitation without a good reason so I forced myself to go. I would send my younger brother instead but he's still quite too young to attend an adult social gathering, and he didn't inherit the title of the Baronet which makes me think about how those distasteful nobles would treat him.

I got off the carriage and looked up at the opened gates which lead to the estate of the Baron. I was about to pass through the gate until I heard a familiarly warm voice in the distance.

"Sir Andre!"

I paused and turned to see the very person who I least expected to meet but the one I wanted to see the most.

"What a pleasant surprise, my lady"

"It's great to see you again!"

"The feeling is mutual, my lady. Are you here in the company of your mother, perhaps?" I placed my hand over my chest upon greeting her with a soft smile.

"Oh no, I came here in the stead of my mother since she has other matters to attend to. Although, she was a bit worried to send me on my own so here I am accompanied by my personal maid, Anna" She turned to her side as a maid came by and stood behind her, formally bowing as a greeting and I returned it with a nod while touching my hat.

"Well then, why don't we head inside and continue our chat there? The Lord must be expecting our arrival by now" I offered my hand to her. She nodded and took it before I escorted her inside the estate.

As we both got inside, we were greeted by the Baron by the entrance and had a small chat with him, the conversation did not last too long, so as soon as he went to greet the other arriving guests, I had taken my lady to the catering area and offered her some food. It brought a delighted look on her face as she accepted and took a bite at the sweets being provided on the table.

"How do you two like the food?" A young woman in an elegant apricot dress approached the both of us with a soft smile on her face. I had already familiarized myself with this person as she's the daughter of Lord Pivelle, Aurelia Pivelle.

"My compliments to the chef, Lady Pivelle. These treats are absolutely divine!" My lady chirped with a satisfied expression.

"I agree, these sweets are of high quality flavor, surely you have employed the best Patissiers in the country?" I complimented as I held one of the treats and closely observed the delicate design on it.

"Indeed, Sir Andre. My father had gathered the best Patissiers in the country to make these treats for the banquet. He would never allow such common chefs to handle the task, as most don't have what it takes to make them in this quality. I'm glad you two took a liking to them, I'll be sure to relay both of your compliments to the Patissiers later on" Lady Pivelle's backhanded compliment is so much like her. I always wonder how nobles teach their sons and daughters about their behavior towards the common folk? It brings me such disgust.

"Well then, hope you two continue to enjoy the rest of the event. I shall head off now to greet my friends" She suddenly went beside me and whispered. "But hey, between you and me, I like you the most among the friends I have, Sir Andre~" She then pulled away before walking off to mingle with the rest of the guests.

"I don't like her"

I was dumbfounded at my lady's sudden comment, which made me turn towards her. She had a slight frown on her face while trying to eat the dessert. She realized what she had said upon glancing at me and covered her mouth.

"Oh dear, I shouldn't be bad mouthing and giving rude comments, especially towards the host of the banquet"

I just suddenly burst out into laughter, though not too loud to avoid unwanted attention. I never expected my lady to be this blunt, she truly never fails to amuse me.

"My lady, I couldn't agree with you more. Although I agree that we should save the commenting at a private area where no one else could hear"

"Sir Andre, do you dislike nobles?" She fiddled her hands together while timidly looking down.

"Perhaps but of course, there are a few exceptions. You, for example" I glanced at her and flashed a soft reassuring smile. She looked up at me as her expression lightened up.

"I'm glad to hear that" She then let out the cutest giggle as she placed her hand over her lips.

The both of us then continued to chat for the rest of the event and enjoyed each other's company.

***

8th of May, 1838

I decided to pay a visit to my lady early on so I could deliver the letter to her before the party. I had arrived in the city just the other day and stayed in my family's old vacation house. I looked down at the sealed letter on my lap, sighing at the thought of my lady being deceived by my scheme. I'm such a horrible man, and completely ironic that I'm the very same person who would hate nobles for being distasteful. I guess I'm no different from the likes of them. I'm a con, a liar, and if ever my lady finds the truth behind this little scheme of mine, I don't know if I'm ever prepared to face the consequences of my actions.

The carriage had stopped and arrived in front of the estate. I then got off and made my way towards the estate. I had informed the servants upon my arrival and they led me towards the lobby, to which I just then headed over to the window to take a good look at the view outside while waiting.

All of a sudden, the early morning silence was broken as a familiar voice echoed throughout the hallway, which can still be heard from inside the lobby.

"Why didn't you say so earlier?!"

I turned towards the door and chuckled upon hearing the voice. It seems that my lady had just woken up. I continued to gaze at the view outside the window and looked upon the sun rising from the horizon behind the roofs of the houses that were built near this estate.

A few minutes had passed then the door behind me opened. I slowly turned around to see her all dressed up, although her hair was slightly messy, probably from the panic and all the hurrying. Nonetheless, she still looks wonderful and is the fairest lady in my eyes, and no one can convince me otherwise.

"S-Sir Andre! I never thought you would be coming over today, let alone this early" She approached me with a delighted look on her face.

"Why would I miss such an important occasion, my lady?" I chuckled as I went closer to offer her the envelope. Behind this smile of mine, I could feel my guilt rising slowly for lying to her once again.

"Oh? What's this?" She curiously accepted the letter.

"A present for you, my lady"

She then took her time to read the letter as I just stood there in silence, observing her expression upon reading it. As she had finished reading, she then looked up to me with her head tilted curiously.

"I always wonder, are you a close friend of Elwyn as well?" Shoot, I didn't think any of this through. Then again, it wouldn't make much sense if I had delivered Elwyn's letters to her twice now and called it a coincidence. I pondered for a moment to come up with an excuse to use.

"It's slightly embarrassing but not exactly, maybe a connected acquaintance is how I would describe it? The Sylvestines and Ainsworths have known each other for a while as we partnered up in the family business for years. Elwyn being the heir of the house of Ainsworth and myself being the heir of the Sylvestines, it's no surprise that we have some kind of connection" I sheepishly chuckled while scratching the back of my head, hoping that the excuse would sell well enough to convince her.

"So.. Does it mean you knew Elwyn's whereabouts all along?"

"I'm afraid I cannot lie to you, my lady. But the young master of Ainsworth had always been secretive and kept us in the dark on his whereabouts so I can't give you a proper answer to that. My deepest apologies. That letter has been sent to my household this morning. If I were to guess, he might've done this to keep you from finding him easily"

"But.. Why would he do such drastic measures to keep his whereabouts hidden? Why would he hide from me? Did I do something wrong?" It really pains me to see her like this, her expression slowly going down made my heart heavy. I then held both of her hands gently to assure her that there's nothing to worry about.

"My lady, let's not overthink this. Surely he must have his reasons. Let's try to understand the position he might be in right now, hence why he hasn't shown up yet. Maybe not right now, but someday he will, I promise" I have to protect her from anything that hurts her. I have to make her live a life without feeling despair, I cannot afford her to experience such immense sadness.

"Alright, I'll hold on to that promise. Thank you, Sir Andre"

"My pleasure" I know very well how unstable the path of despair is, and if lying is my only way to keep her from going down that path, I have to do it. For her sake.

***

2nd of May, 1839

I had once again returned to my family's vacation house after almost a year, and this time, my brother came along with me. My lady will be celebrating her birthday once again in less than a week from now. I honestly want to see her first before the banquet so I went to my room and prepared a piece of parchment along with a quill and ink. I then began to write her a letter on my desk.

My Dear Lady,

I hope this letter may find you in good health. It is almost that time of that year once again, is it not? I had this idea proposed in my mind and I do hope for your reconsideration.

"On every thy special day, when the sun has begun to rise, we shall reunite by the fountain in secret and I shall hand over the gift I give to thee. One cannot help but wonder how thy beauty stands out as it is graced by the early morning sun, like a lovely stone which greatly reflects the light away from itself. To have witnessed such sight would be a great honor as nothing matches or even exceeds the elegance and beauty of thy presence alone."

I shall await your response in due time, my lady.

I have the honor to be your obedient servant,

-A. Syl

As I had already finished writing down my letter, I folded it carefully and sealed it in an envelope before I started working on my false letter, which I intend to give to my lady on her special day as usual. My younger brother, Eddison soon came into my room after knocking on the door and approached me, taking notice of the false letter I am currently working on.

"My dear brother, are you committing forgery?" He said with such disbelief while reading my false letter as I was in the midst of writing.

"It's for a good cause, Edd. You will understand someday when you are older"

He let out a sigh and lightly shook his head in disapproval. "Consequences are often passed through the actions we commit and the path we take. If lying is for a good cause, what about the truth behind it? To whom are you sending this letter to anyway?"

"The daughter of the Countess, whose ancestors had close ties to our family"

"Oh dear heavens, of all the people you decided to deceive. Such foolishness, my dear brother. But even as your younger brother, I cannot stop you. Be mindful that one day your actions may come back to bite you, and it is not a very light price to pay"

Not to mock my brother, but rather at myself as I just scoffed. "I am well-aware, Edd. It is indeed a very hefty price to pay for such lies. But lying is also a form of love, is it not? Won't you do the same for your fair lady in order to make her happy?"

"Happiness is not permanent, but the emotional scars in the heart of the maiden you've deceived will become one the moment she finds out the truth. I'd rather have my lady face the ugly truth than to deceive her with such flawless lies and hurt her even more" And with that, Eddison exited the room with disappointment written on his face. I must admit, I can feel the shame he felt. To think that his role model, the older brother, who is supposed to serve as a great example to him has committed an unforgivable act that may one day soon come back to haunt me. Oh please forgive my shameless behavior.

Eddison no longer has anyone else to serve as an example to him other than me. Since both of our parents died 4 years ago, I am the only one left who is supposed to guide him into the right path as he grows older.

I sometimes wonder to myself if there will ever be a time when the consequences of my actions will finally arrive and have me pay the price? If so, then when will it come?

***

8th of May, 1843

I left the house and got in my carriage while the sky was still quite dim. It has been 4 years now since my lady and I had agreed to meet like this on every early morning of her birthday. For 6 years, I had been deceiving her, yet I still cannot get rid of this guilt in my heart. In all of these years I have been continuously lying to her, she just seemed so happy and I didn't want to ruin it.

The carriage had soon arrived then I got off and went to the back of the estate and passed through a secret passage inside a bush, which leads to the garden. I quickly dusted off the leaves from my coat and headed over to the fountain in the center of the garden. I sat down and looked up at the sky as the hour of the rising sun was about to begin soon. I took out a book and started reading as I waited patiently for my lady to come.

"Have I kept you waiting?"

Upon hearing her voice, I paused from reading as my attention was directed towards a certain lady whom I have been eager to meet every year.

"Not at all, my lady~" I responded with a smile. Seeing her after a long while of being unable to see each other had always brought a smile to my face as I could feel something fluttering within my stomach.

She giggled as a response and sat next to me. "I see"

I put away the book that I was reading then I reached for the chest pocket of my coat, where I had kept the most recent false letter I made then handed it to her.

"Happy 18th birthday~" I greeted then she giggled before accepting the letter from my hand.

"Thank you, good sir"

I then began to observe her reaction once again, which is the usual. She always had a satisfied look on her face after reading the letters made of lies I had written. I wonder if what I've been doing all these years is what they call a guilty pleasure?

"Got any plans for your birthday party today?" I tilted my head curiously.

"Maybe not much but we could sneak out to watch the ducks by the lake" The both of us ended up chuckling at her suggestion. Every year, she would always surprise me with her unpredictable behavior. I guess you could say this is part of her charm.

"Oh dear, is my lady in her rebellious phase now? You weren't this mischievous back then" I decided to tease her little, she then would make a cute pout that would make my heart burst.

"I was just kidding~" I added and playfully stuck my tongue out. The both of us then looked up at the sky and noticed that it was already time for the sun to rise. I glanced my eyes to the side to catch a glimpse of her reaction and see her eyes filled with awe and admiration for the view. If only I could capture this moment and preserve it for eternity.

I realized how close the both of us were sitting and our hands on the fountain were already next to each other. I wanted to hold her hand but suddenly touching a lady's hand and interrupting her moment would ruin the mood so I had to restrain myself from doing so.

Not long after admiring the sunrise, she stood up and stretched her arms.

"It's time for me to get ready, Anna might lose her head looking for me when she realizes that I'm not in my room" She giggled then I stood up as well then gently grabbed her hand.

"I'll be heading back soon as well. I'll be seeing you later in the party, my lady" I kissed the back of her hand and took my leave as I headed back to the route where I had entered earlier.

I went back to the carriage and just waited inside. There is no need for me to return to the house since I'm already dressed for the party, and all that's left is to wait for the event to begin.

I don't know why and how it happened. But all of a sudden, I noticed my lady suddenly passing by on a horse. Her maids and the Countess rushed out the estate, calling out her name even though she had already gone too far to even hear them. I quickly instructed the coachman to follow her then we had to follow her tracks without any further delay. I'm beginning to worry that something serious happened.

And it seems that my fear has finally come true.

Before I had realized it, my lady was standing right in front of me, her hand had flicked across my face. I could feel the stinging warmth on my cheek that had been struck as I was completely dumbfounded and confused.

"M-My lady..?"

"How could you make me live like this?! How can you still bring yourself to talk to me after everything you've done?! And how dare you use my dearest friend's name for your own gain!"

"..My lady, please let me explain-"

"Why didn't you tell me that Elwyn's been dead for 8 years?!"

"I.." The day when I have to finally face the consequences of my sins that I have committed for more than half a decade has finally come to haunt me.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen. You just seemed so happy.." I glanced downwards and then to the side. I had already expected that this might happen one day, but I was never prepared for it. I don't think I ever was.

"So turning me into a hopeless fool entertains you? For what gain?! You gave me a false hope that will never come true no matter how many times I wish for it to happen!"

And there I finally saw it. The very thing I could never afford to look at, the deep anguish and despair in her eyes. Upon looking at her current state, I could feel my heart shatter to pieces.

What have I done..?

"Just.. Go" She then turned around, never giving me a chance to explain myself.

I looked down, contemplating. Although, I suppose it's for the best if I leave her be for now. As much as I want to apologize to her endlessly, it may just add more fuel to the fire. Who would forgive a con man like me after all my crimes were exposed? I deserve this.

Without saying anything further, I decided to return to the carriage and got in. Tears started flooding then I covered my eyes with my hand as I leaned against the window. My chest was aching so much, the pain cannot even be compared to the stinging sensation that was still present on my reddened cheek. It hurts so much, why did I have to go through all this? I knew this might happen, and I still turned a blind eye to the warning signs I was given. I'm such a fool. A hopeless fool.

I had returned to the estate after lamenting for a while in the carriage. When I got off and went inside, I heard that my lady hadn't shown herself yet. As soon as I heard of her absence, the guilt started rising again and I quickly left the estate, becoming too ashamed to show my face after everything I had done to her.

I ended up returning home, looking tired and a mess. It is a good thing that Eddison isn't here to see me in such a sorry state. He might either start a lecture on how he had already warned me about this or might as well be very disappointed that I ended up cowering after that audacious scheme I had committed to for the past 6 years.

I went to my room and dropped myself onto my bed, too tired to untie and dress myself up. My head is currently faced at my study table then a thought comes into my mind. A foolish one.

I mustered up my remaining strength to get out of bed and went to my study table, sitting down on the chair and lifting up my quill as I had prepared a blank parchment right in front of me. I decided to write down an apology letter to her, although I already knew she would never intend to read it. I still plan on writing one for her. She entirely deserves an apology and explanation, and also has the right to be angry at me so I don't blame her if she'll end up discarding anything related to me. I deserved to be hated.

As I was writing down this letter, I could not help but end up staining the parchment with my tears as the thought of seeing her despaired face back then is like a thorn being tightly wrapped around my broken heart.

My lady, I do not deserve to be forgiven. But you also do not deserve to be burdened by your despair and anger. I do hope that you will soon recover from the emotional scars that I had inflicted upon you, and may your broken heart be fixed by someone better than I am. You deserve all the happiness in the world.

***

16th of November, 1843

"Do you really have to go, brother?"

I fixed my coat and my tie, slicked back my hair, and readied my satchel as I slinged it over my shoulder.

"Can't you reconsider this? Who is going to resume the family duties once you are gone?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I turned to give my younger brother a soft smile. "You will be the one inheriting the title of the Baronet after me"

"But Andre-"

I then placed both of my hands over Eddison's shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Edd, listen to me. As much as I would love to reconsider and stay, it is my duty as a Baronet to serve the country and answer to their call. I cannot allow the Sylvestine name to be brought to shame. You understand, don't you?" I then let go and walked past him, heading for the door. Before I left and set foot outside, I stopped and turned to look at my younger brother once more.

"Before I forget, I had written one last letter to my lady on my study desk. Please be a good lad and deliver it to her on due time, would ya? I'll write you a letter soon"

Although, I do wish that it won't be the last time I'll be writing her a letter.

***

1st of May, 1844

That was indeed not the last time for me to write my lady a letter. As I was laying on the dry and humid ground, I slowly raised my arm and reached for the dimly-lit sky as my other arm was over my bloodied chest where a bullet had shot me. I had gotten myself into a disagreement with a comrade and decided to sort the situation out with a duel. In my current state, it is already obvious who the victor was.

I already had my second send out my last letter after the duel had concluded. Here I am right now, unable to move any further as I could feel my eyes getting heavy and the sensation upon my skin has gotten colder. The last thing I saw in the sky was the rising sun that shone over the horizon at the last minute. It reminded me so much of the warmth that she had given me for the past 6 years. My only regret is that I never got to make amends with her.

"Which reminds me, her birthday is already a week from now, huh? It's such a shame..." I whispered to myself as I no longer had the strength to speak up.

As my vision began to darken, I succumbed into the depths of nothingness, the only thing that was on my mind was her and her radiant smile. My dearest lady.

-Fin-