Problem and Beer

"Why are you here?" Gab burst out as soon as he saw Alice inside the headmistress' office.

He and Alison decide to pay respect first and to surprise the headmistress before settling their baggage into their rooms but they are the ones who are surprised when they see Alice in there.

"Alice is gonna stay with us for a week or so. His dad is on a business trip. "The headmistress explained while giving the couple her blessings as they made 'mano'.

Author's note: mano or pagmamano is an "honouring gesture". In Filipino culture it is a sign of respect to elders and as a way of requesting blessings from them. Similar to hand-kissing, the person giving the greeting bows towards the hand of the elder and presses their forehead on the elder's hand. Usually performed with the right hand, the person showing respect may ask "mano po" or "[pa-]bless po" to the elder to ask permission to initiate the gesture. Typically someone may mano to their older relatives upon entry into their home or upon seeing them.

"You should have just stayed with us then." Alison said, "Have you eaten yet?"

"Yeah, Miss Lily gave me a delicious pie," Alice replied, "And I just did not expect that my Dad wasn't home until next week," she explained. "I was going to surprise him," she added shyly while scratching her nape

"Well it is good to see that you guys get along but I think you need to rest first. All of you." the headmistress butted in and lift from her sit.

Alice follows and so are Gabby and Alison as the headmistress heads out of the office.

The couple are staying in their old rooms while Alice is going to stay in the headmistress' room since she misses her a lot and wants to spend more time with her as much as possible.

Well, no good mother can really resist the love and affection for her child.

Yeah, Alice is the daughter of the headmistress but no one knows about it except her and a handful of people. Not even Alison and Gabby.

"I haven't told Dad yet but I already applied for an apprenticeship program at the school gallery," Alice said while lying on the soft single-size bed and staring at the ceiling. "I don't want to disappoint him but I really want to paint," she added.

"Well, your father is a jerk and a very, as in 'very' lousy husband but I know that he is a great dad. I don't think he wants you to force yourself into something you don't like just because you wanted to please him or make him proud." Lily said while stroking her fingers through Alice's hair and giving her scalp a light massage to help her sleep like she did back when Alice was still a babe. "Your existence is more than enough to make your dad super happy and super proud," she added

"Why did you guys get separated anyway? You seem so happy and in love with each other... Still." Then twisted on her side to meet her mom's eyes.

Lily giggles "Change topic huh?"

"Nah, I am just curious," she replied and went back staring at the ceiling then unintentionally letting out a deep sigh.

As much as Lily wanted to ignore Alice's sudden curiosity she couldn't shake off the feeling that something was bothering her sweet baby. "You were never curious before. Is there something wrong?"

Alice shrugs her shoulders.

"Is it about that boy Bryan?" Lily asked again

Alice rounded her eyes in surprise but she managed to flip right back up and pretend she was not affected.

"I haven't met that boy but from what I've heard he seems to be a nice kid so I don't think there is something you should be afraid of---."

"But dad is nice too and yet you guys still broke up." she butted

It was already late when Alice realized that she'd been trapped because of her big mouth.

Lily giggled seeing her daughter's reaction but she also felt sorry for her. Alice is having a hard time trusting 'love'. "My love life may not work out the way I wanted but I am happy. Yes it does hurt at first but that's part of being in love and being in a relationship." she said and slid down the bed then wrapped her arms around Alice, "If that's what bothering you, the only thing I can tell you is that there is nothing certain in this world. Things change, feelings change but missing out and not trying is what makes a person miserable for their entire life. 'What if' can never be answered if you're too scared to try." she said and closed her eyes.

Alice took out a deep sigh. Those words cut deep within her being and even if she tries to deny it she can't shake off the fact that what her mom said is all true.

Growing up, she tried everything to shut off people and keep her feelings in control because she couldn't stand the torturing pain that she felt as she looked at her mom breaking apart because of her dad's infidelity. Like her mom, she gets tired of the cycle. Her mom broke down then her dad begged for forgiveness then went back hurting her again.

Alice closed her eyes and tried to catch some shut-eye but after an hour in the same position, it was harder for her to sleep and the ticking sound from the analogue wall clock that was filling the room made it even harder so she decided to get some fresh air outside.

She slowly removed her mom's arm from her waist and carefully slid off the bed. She then tiptoed towards the closed door and opened it carefully as she soundlessly slid out of the room from the small openings she made. She was able to relax as soon as she completely shut the door behind her.

Alice headed straight to the garden slash playground outside the building. She sat on the swing and leaned her head on the cold and slightly rusty chain of the swing.

Unlike in the city, night in the province is peaceful, in fact, it is so peaceful that she can hear her inner thoughts vividly. Her thoughts are scattered all over the place like the leaves falling on the ground.

She doesn't even know what's bothering her anymore but her heart getting heavier as she tries to calm herself down.

She stayed there for quite some time when a delicious smell tickled her nose as the cool breeze blew.

Like a bewitched person, she unconsciously got up and followed the inviting smell which led her to the orphanage's kitchen.

She was shocked when her eyes landed on the last person she was expecting to see inside the kitchen at this hour. She automatically stepped back and decided to retreat but Gab already saw before she could even take a step back out.

"Can't sleep?" Gab ask casually while busy putting something on the cooling rack

Alice didn't want to make the impression that she didn't want to speak to Gab so she gathered all the courage she could muster and just proceeded inside the kitchen.

Since their conversation at the terminal, she promised to never speak with him again; not because she hates him but because he makes her confused about a lot of things.

Gab is busy putting golf-like balls on the baking sheet when she approaches him and it seems that it isn't his first time doing this, he moves like a pro.

She looked around and saw that there were already finished products on the cooling racks and by the looks of it, the batch he was doing right now was not the last one.

"Yep." she hesitantly replied, "What's that?" she changed the topic pointing the dough in front of her.

"Pandesal, the kids and headmistress love it so I'm making them for breakfast," he replied with gusto then lifted the tray filled with the uncooked dough balls and put it in the oven and then set the timer.

Authors note: Pandesal is a soft and airy flour roll. It is Spanish for "salt bread." However, contrary to its name; the bread is relatively sweet. The yeast-raised bread is similar to the Mexican bolillo and is the breakfast bread of choice throughout the Philippines.

Alice wanted to hide her excitement when she heard that the lovely smell was from her second favourite bread. She unconsciously swallowed the saliva that slowly filled inside her mouth which caught Gab's meticulous gaze.

Gab involuntarily curved the side of his lips to smile when he saw her reaction, he found it oddly satisfying. He turned on his back and went to the cooling rack and got a piece of warm bread from the previous batch, "Here try one."

Alice's face beamed up with excitement but she retreated her hand, "No thanks. I am not that hungry." she lied

She knows for a fact that the food supplies in the orphanage aren't that abundant. In fact, without help from his dad, the kids here will truly suffer. She can't eat out of leisure.

"C'mon, just think of it as a taste test." he insisted

"Psh, as if you can still redo it after I tasted it..." she pouted

Gabby chuckled, "Well, at least I will spare myself from serving awful food later."

Alice accepted the warm bread from his hand then took a small bite and as soon as the bread hit her tongue she tasted something different. Different from the usual pandesal she had before. She tasted something creamy with a bit of saltiness through its fibre. She look at the area of the bread she had bitten and saw a yellowish something poking so she press the bread with her fingertips and a melted cheddar slowly gushes out of the bread.

Alice can't hide her amazement at the treasure she found inside her bread. Yes, cheese-filled Pandesal is already common but she is still surprised since she didn't expect it to have one.

"Wow!" she gasped, "it is crunchy on the outside but super soft inside and has the perfect amount of cheese," she said in gusto and took another bite.

Gab felt a satisfying joy seeing her reaction to his food and he couldn't deny the warm feeling inside his heart because of it.

"How did you make the cheese so oozy yet not overpowering? I know this is cheddar but it hit like mozzarella on the tongue and somewhat like custard at the same time. A non-stringy mozzarella of some sort." she said while investigating the pastry on her hand as if she were investigating a crime scene.

Gab chuckled and that's when Alice realizes that she let her weird self out in front of him.

She wanted to disappear into thin air right there, right now.

She threw a glance at Gab who was staring at her with amazement and she felt her cheek burning.

Why do I always lose my control when it comes to food? Am I a pig?! This is so embarrassing!!! And what is the meaning of that smile?! She scolded herself, internally of course.

In the middle of her internal monologue, her phone started ringing.

Alice felt so relieved that she found an excuse to remove herself from her embarrassing predicament but in that brief moment of embarrassment, she forgot the thing bothering her earlier.

She fished her phone from her back pocket and looked at who was on the other line.

It is Bryan.

"Sorry, I need to answer this," she said apologetically

"Yeah yeah sure." Gab smiled

Alice turns on her back and hits the answer button on her phone.

"Hey!" Bryan greets her with excitement.

Alice exited the kitchen and headed back to the swing where she was seated earlier.

"Why are you still awake? Can't sleep?" Bryan asks when Alice doesn't respond to his enthusiastic greetings. "Are you still nervous about telling Tito Vinz about the transfer?"

"No. Not really." She partially lied since her dilemma about the transfer barely crossed her mind. She didn't know exactly why she can't sleep but she is so damn sure that Bryan also contributed to her current predicament.

"Aren't you comfortable there? Do you want me to book you a hotel nearby? I--"

"No, you don't have to," she cut him off. "You're the one who called and woke me up so don't assume that I cannot sleep and how are you going to book me a room when you are on the other side of the globe?" she said as if she really was sleeping

"Well, just in case you didn't know, there is this thing they called the internet that you could see the whole world from a bird's eye view and look for contact numbers of establishments with just a click of a button" Bryan replied with sarcasm

Alice fakes a laugh, "Sorry haven't thought of that because..." she paused a bit, "Oh right, I wanted to bond with my mom whom I haven't seen for, what, 10 years!" she fired back

Bryan burst out laughing on the other line, "Well that's the Alice I know."

They both end up laughing.

Alice broke the chain after a minute or so of heartfelt laughter when she noticed Bryan requested a video call to her and as soon as she accepted the request she saw Bryan in front of the camera stripping his shirt off, "Oh! You're such a perv!" she complained then turn her phone around for her not to see whatever Bryan's doing on the other side.

Bryan laughed again, "Hahaha, so sorry. We just arrived here and Mom wants us to have late lunch with her so I have to change outfits."

"Ah... Enjoy." she just said while trying to cool her heated face down.

"Well, I would like it better if you are here," Bryan said

Alice flipped back her phone to see the guy from the other end, "Don't you think it is inappropriate if I always crash in your family affair? Seriously? Am I the only one bothered about that?"

"Why? You're already a family. Mom considered you as a daughter that she never had..." Then he paused a bit and leaned towards the camera with a naughty smile plastered on his face, "Well not until you agreed to date me."

"Bryan!"

"W--wah--hat!?" trying not to laugh and finish buttoning his shirt.

"It's not funny." she protested

"Well, I am not joking," he replied still teasing her

Bryan wanted to clear everything up with Alice but he could sense that she was not ready yet like his previous attempt to persuade her so he just decided to back down and change the topic, "So, how was your trip? Did you get sick?" he asked

"A little. It wasn't so bad since it's only a four-hour drive, more or less," she replied

"What!? I shouldn't have let you travel alone. What if something happened to you?" he is so worried

"It's fine. I think I should start taking care of myself and stop depending on you," she smiled bitterly not because she didn't mean what she said but because she lied that she was able to take care of herself during the trip. If it wasn't for Gab and Alison she probably collapsed somewhere or was robbed while dozing off in the bus.

"But I don't want you to," Bryan said in a very low voice that Alice almost didn't hear him. "I don't want you to stop depending on me."

How could he be so straightforward like this? How I wish I could be brave like him. Alice thought to herself.

"You can ignore me every time I tell you how I feel. Take every time you want, no matter how long it is just let me stay with you" he added

"Bryan." she pleaded. She feels awful that she's hurting Bryan even if it is the last thing she wants to do but she can't still find the courage to cross that bridge.

She is not ready to take the risk because she knows that nothing lasts forever. Just like her parents' marriage.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"I am sorry, let's just leave it here." Bryan surrendered

A strong gush of wind hits Alice making her shiver a little and cover her eyes because of the fine specks of dust that entered her left eye.

"Have fun." She smiled. She was about to press the end of the call button when Bryan spoke again.

"Are you outside by any chance?" he asked

"Yeah, why?" Alice answered innocently and she was a bit puzzled. She thought that Bryan already saw that she was outside.

"I thought so." Bryan just said sounded a bit disappointed

"Is there something wrong?" she asked oblivious of what would be the reason for the sudden change from Bryan. "You're not expecting me to have a loud conversation inside a room with a sleeping person would you?" she added

"Well, yes of course not but could you at least put on a jacket before going outside?" he explains, "Even I can feel the chilling cold of the breeze just by the sound of it."

Alice laughs playfully, "Well, in case you didn't remember, I wore a thin layer of clothing during winter. This is nothing compared to that."

"Ha ha ha" Bryan laughed sarcastically, "Of course I do," he said, "How about you? Did you forget how long you got hospitalized because of that?" he fired back.

"Well, I was not hospitalized!" she denied

"Technically not in the hospital but you were sick and visited by a doctor."

Alice got cornered there.

Bryan was referring to that day when the two of them got introduced to each other.

"Don't worry, I am fine. It isn't that cold. It is quite stuffy if you asked me." she lied to reassure him

"But still. You don't even have a beanie on." he said in concern, "Leaving you alone is very concerning sometimes." he sighed as he patted his forehead in desperation

"And what is that supposed to mean!?" Alice got irritated as she heard him

"Don't get me wrong but sometimes I really can't understand how your mind works. " he said in defence, "You don't want me to care about you but you always keep making me worried with your craziness. I mean, don't you want me to take care of you or do you want me to?"

Shunned by what he said, Alice also got confused. To be honest, she also had the same question. She always said that she doesn't want love because it will only hurt her but she eagerly yearns for it at the same time.

"Then stop!" Alice blurted out in dismay, "I didn't tell you to worry! This is just how I am!" she said with tears that starts filling her eyes, "Stop acting like I'm your freaking girlfriend! I've already told you that from the beginning. It is my damn problem if I get sick or not. Is it really hard to ignore me? Because everyone else sure can."

Bryan was left speechless.

"Baby bro! Mom's calling! Are you done!" said the guy from the background

"Just a sec!" Bryan yelled back.

"You better go. Let's talk some other time." Alice said, "Bye."

"But--."

Alice hit the cancel button cutting off their conversation.

Alice knew that she had gone overboard and regretted it but she couldn't constantly toy with his feelings. He deserves someone who can reciprocate his affection and that is not her but she cannot let him go as well.

"Well that was intense," said Gab who popped out of nowhere

Alice was startled that she almost fell off the swing but regained her composure right away while Gab was slowly approaching her with a steaming cup in both of his hands.

"I figured you might want some cup of warm milk to help you sleep," he said and handed over one of the cup

"T-thanks" she awkwardly accepts the cup.

Gab sat on the vacant swing next to her, "So what was the deal between you two?," he asked then took a sip on his cup and faced her direction, "By the looks of it, it doesn't end well. Lovers' quarrel perhaps?"

"Nope," she said making a pop sound with her lips while staring at the swirling bubbles on her drink. "Besides, we are not lovers to have 'lovers' quarrel," she added

"Not that I'm being nosy or anything. I mean, why the hell do I care about what's going on between the two of you? But I happened to hear your conversation while I was heading here so if you don't mind me asking, why are you being harsh? Don't you like him?"

Alice took a deep breath and shook her head.

"Well. That was nasty." he replied shaking his head, "then why don't you just tell him that you don't like him rather than making him wait like this."

"I did." She said and took a sip of the warm milk in her cup. For some reason, even the innocent milk leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

"But you did not argue when he said that he will wait for you."

She doesn't want to talk about Bryan, especially with him.

Even having a bitter taste, well everything seemed bitter all of a sudden, she decided to just gulp all the milk from the cup than answering Gab.

"Want more?" Gab asks offering his cup to Alice when he sees her chug the milk like thirsty sand in the desert.

Alice smiled and wanted to refuse the offer but she liked the warm feeling that suddenly ran through her body from the beverage she drank.

"If you insist." she mumbled and accepted the cup, "Well, your milk is the worst tasting milk but it warmed me up good," she said with a teasing smile then took another sip.

"Oh, maybe because of the beer I added there," he said

"B-beer?" Alice's eyes rounded in shock as she looked back to Gab.

Gab can not help but chuckle at her reaction, "Yeah. There were leftovers from the dough I made so instead of throwing them away I just decided to put them in the milk. Less food waste and it added an intriguing flavor to the milk. Alison loves it when I do that to her milk since we are not allowed to drink intoxicating beverages here so we find a way to sneak them in," he said with excitement.

"Beer on the dough?" Alice repeated

"Yeah. I remember seeing that technique in making dough to make it rise and add flavour." He explained. He was surprised that to all the things he said, that was the thing that caught her attention.

"And don't worry, I only put a small amount of it on the mixture and the alcohol already evaporated from the heat so it is fine to be eaten by the kids," he added thinking what she might be thinking with that shocked look in her eyes.

"Yah!" she blurted out while forcefully clapping her hands as if she solved a mystery.

Gab almost fell off his seat.

"So that's where the yeasty-barley taste comes from!" she blurted

Alice wasn't shocked that Gab put beer on the kids' food. She was amazed that her curiosity was answered.

Gab took a second before he understood what she was mumbling about and burst out laughing.

Now, Alice is the one who got confused with Gab's outburst.

"Why are you laughing?" she asks in oblivion

Gab composed himself and met her gaze, "Nothing. I-I just never met someone so passionate about food like you." He replied, "I mean, I saw you investigating the bread that I asked you to taste a while ago. I can see how you genuinely like food, unlike others who just go to shove them in their mouth and swallow. Honestly, you remind me of Remy in the movie 'Ratatouille' ".

Alice rolled her eyes, "I love food and I love eating good food. Ain't that normal to be passionate about something you love?" she defended

Gab was a bit dumbfounded. He didn't expect such a pure answer from her. She's so innocent and pure for someone who grew up in the Western part of the globe. He finds her refreshing. Even Alison isn't this pure.

No wonder Bryan is so into her, he thought to himself.

Gab chuckled, "Ha ha ha, well, can't argue with that one," he just said

"Exactly! That's why I never understand why people say that they love someone but hardly put an effort to show it or even try not to hurt them at the very least," she said with bitterness in her voice

"Well, that was rich coming from a girl who keeps on rejecting the boy she likes and letting him live in agony for years," Gab comments then starts swinging the swing.

Alice throws him a quick sharp glance but he is staring afar, "Well, it is complicated." she argues thinking 'What the heck do you know?' not realizing that she just admitted to him that she likes Bryan.

"Thought so" and stretched his legs to stop the swing, "Well, maybe it was complicated to other people too. Maybe they didn't make a move to show someone how they feel because of various reasons that sometimes make them hurt the very person they cherish the most," he said calmly staring far away. "So don't be quick to judge or feel anger toward someone just because of what you're seeing. Most of the time, there are a lot more in the picture that you didn't see."

Astounded and yet in denial of the very idea, Alice chugged the remaining liquid from the cup and then ended up laughing after swallowing the very last drop.

At first, it was a quiet laugh that Gabby wasn't able to hear. He even thought that she was sobbing and it made his blood run cold.

"Alice, are you ok?" Gab called hesitantly while slowly extending his arm to approach her. "Alice?" he called again

Gab's eyes rounded in shock when Alice burst out laughing like a crazy person.

Alice now realized the years of pain and solitude she had endured.

She tilts her head and looks at Gabby who is still staring at her confusedly. "So tell me, what do you think I should do with my feelings?" she asked with a myriad of emotions in her eyes that Gab had never seen before. "I honestly don't know how to deal with this," she said with a bitter smile on her lips.

Tears started to fall like raindrops from her reddened eyes.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, Gabby moved towards Alice and imprisoned her cheeks in his palms while his thumbs lightly brushed the tears off her face.

It may be the cold wind or the bright moonlight or maybe the scent of alcohol on her breath that drew him to her all of sudden.

Or it is the eyes that no longer hide the real Alice inside.

The Alice he had never seen before.

The vulnerable and hurting Alice, far from the intimidating and snob that he knows.

Before Gabby even figures it out, he already pulls Alice closer and conquers her soft sweet trembling lips.

Alice pushed Gab, shocked and confused.

Actually, they both are.

"I'm sorry--" Gab was cut off when Alice kissed him.

This time she hooks her arms around his nape which makes the kiss deeper.