A fool indeed

>>Sorin

I sat in the open hallway looking at the garden after I had a big eating session that was followed by a puking session followed by massive misery. What is wrong with me?

I sighed.

This sure is tiring…

I was taking deep breaths to calm myself down when I heard someone walk towards me. I tried to ignore it and did my best to keep myself calm but the person stopped right behind me.

"Why are you ignoring me?" It was Kaan and his words made my heart skip a beat but I composed myself immediately.

I lied to him, "I'm not," I replied in a very low tone but didn't turn to look at him. I kept my eyes on the garden.

"You're not even looking at me." He seemed a little upset and now I had no other choice. I slowly and hesitantly turned my head and looked at him.

"I am," I told him as I looked at him.

"..." He looked at me with a frown, "You've been avoiding me for quite some time now."

I didn't know what to tell him. It was all too complicated.

Sonomi is here and she met Leonidas and I can see the fondness appearing between them. I am afraid. I'm so scared. I don't want my feelings to grow. Those stupid feelings, I developed for Leon and for you. I got confused like an idiot and it only brought me misery. In the first place, why did I become attracted to two people at the same time? I'm a fool, aren't I?

He sat down next to me, "I see fear in your eyes." He said as he stared at me.

I shot my head in the other direction as my eyes went wide.

Shit!!

"It's nothing like that." I lied again.

"I don't like it," He said as he moved closer to me, "It pains me when you ignore me like this."

…

"Why would it pain you?" I kept my eyes on the ground the other way.

"..." He didn't answer that, he called my name instead, "Sorin," He placed his fingers around my chin and made me look at him. His action made a gasp leave my mouth, "I thought we were getting close." He looked into my eyes, "Was it only me?" He moved his face closer to mine, making my heart pound, "It can't have only been me." I felt his breath on my lips.

It sent shivers down my body and made my cheeks blush a little.

I gulped, "We were getting close." I looked away, "Yes," And then nodded.

Sorin! No! Don't get delusional again.

He turned my face towards him again since his hand never left my chin, "Then why did you suddenly start ignoring me?"

"I didn't," I couldn't look him in the eyes so I stared at his hair, "I'm just busy." I replied, "I'm the king after all." He kept staring at me and I started getting nervous. His gaze was making my heart go weird, "Don't you have to go back soon too? We're done with the abolishment of slavery."

"If you want to send me away, I'll go," He replied, "But I want to stay with you." His words! Those Goddamn words! They're making my feelings go berserk! It's making my heart act wild!

"With me?" I gulped as my gaze wandered around, "Why?" And it happened again. A flame of hope lit up in me.

"Come on Sorin," He held both my hands, "I'll answer that if you look at me properly, not just my hair."

I pursed my lips and didn't know what to do when he moved his fingers and intertwined them with mine. It was such a small gesture but it made my heart skip a beat. He interlocked our hands tightly making me gasp and look at him in surprise.

"Finally," He smirked, "You've looked at me on your own accord." It was a beautiful evening with light wind blowing.

He was looking straight into my eyes and I gulped in nervousness, "I was before too…" I sort of forgot how pretty his eyes are. So majestically purple.

Looking into it felt like I was looking into a galactic color. Kaan smiled at me and moved closer, removing all distance between us, "Really now?" His undefined closeness made my heart pound, "Just like how you were ignoring me because you were busy?" I felt his breath on my lips

"I wasn't ignoring you," I replied timidly.

"Well, you're right," He passed me a smirk, "You were ignoring everyone."

I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip as I felt defeated, "I was just," I opened my eyes, "Busy,"

"Fine," He replied, "I'll believe you."

I nodded my head and thanked God, "Now answer me," I pursed my lips together, "The meaning behind your words."

He smirked again, "What could it possibly be?" He looked at me with an amused expression, "I think you already know." He removed one of his hands from mine and gently tucked some locks of my hair behind my ear. Since my hair is short, there are many times the strands make their way to the front when it gets windy.

"I do?"

He joined his forehead with mine, "I know you do," He whispered, setting my feelings ablaze, "You're pretending not too,"

"And," I gulped, I wanted to ask if this all was real. I started feeling this way before I restored all my memories and got carried away. I looked at Kaan, unsure. I wanted to confirm things but the Oracle said I don't belong here.

I tightened my grip on his hand and he noticed that.

But what do I do with myself? I'm so lost right now…

"Sorin?" Kaan called my name, "Is something bothering you?"

I kept staring at him. What should I say to him? Should I try and tell him something? I didn't speak at all with Leon, should I try something here?

I licked my lips, "I-"

"Your highness," The sudden sound made me flinch so bad, it felt like my heart was going to jump out of my mouth.

God damnit!!

I looked at the guard who kneeled at a little distance from us.

"What?" I asked.

"There is another person who wishes to enter the palace." The guard looked at me, "It's another demon."

"What?" I glanced at Kaan, "Who?" He shook his head.

"I didn't invite anyone else." He replied and we both looked at the guard again.

"She says she was called here by the Garuda, Hewitt." The guard replied.

"She?" I raised my brows at him. As I felt something twist in my chest. Immediately something began to unnerve me.

"Yes, your highness."

"Her name?" My heart began to pound.

"Leysa, your majesty." And then it stopped.

I didn't think my heart could sink more than it already had. I had no idea my heart would feel more crushed than it already was.

"Leysa?" Kaan's eyes lit up and he stood up immediately, his hand slipped out of mine, sending a sense of doom in my heart. It was a very familiar feeling, a feeling of betrayal I just felt a little while ago too, "Leysa is here?" He seemed very happy but his happiness was crushing my emotions. I looked at his hand that was no longer in mine with my mouth slightly open.

And I had my answer.

I bit my lips.

Kaan looked at me, "I want to meet her." There was pure joy in those eyes.

He wasn't for me either.

I'm such a stupid person. Why did I let myself get swayed again? I'm an idiot! I was already told I don't belong here or with them!

Like I could have ever had Leon or Kaan or anyone at that. Their destiny is written for them. Leysa's is Kaan's biggest support. She's been with him since they were kids and in the original timeline when the war happens, she becomes his equal.

She's strong and takes on a bunch of enemies. She fights side by side with him and now, here too, when the news is barely spreading about Kaan being here in the palace, She's the first one here.

I looked at the guard,"Let her in," I took a deep shaky breath.

It's fine. Don't fret it. It's fine…

"Yes, Your majesty." The guard replied and he left with Kaan who was excited to meet his destined partner and friend.

I, on the other hand, kept looking at Kaan's back. I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

Fuck…

I knew this all but it still hurts… Why did I try to delude myself again? Why am I like this? Did I want something in life so desperately? I'm such a pathetic person.

I kept my gaze on that broad back that was getting smaller the further it went.

"Kaan?" I called out his name before he completely disappeared from my sight and he stopped to look back.

"Yes?"

I did my best to keep my emotions in but it sure was hard.

"Tomorrow's Leonidas's birthday party." I gulped as I tried to drown my emotions in, "Please do attend."

He passed me a wide smile, "I'll be there!" He then turned around and vanished leaving me there alone in my unrequited misery.

Just like the fool I was, I was left abandoned because of my own delusion. It was my fault.

Just like the fool I was, it took rock crushing jerks to bring my mind back to my reality.

And Just like the fool I was, the truth had to slap me hard for me to accept things and move on.