My son’s father

>>Elayne

"W-why isn't he coming to me?" I looked at Kaan in horror, "Why?"

"I don't know," He was confused as well, "I- really don't-" He paused and looked at Rion who was clinging onto him, "Ah,"

"What!?" I knew he caught onto something, "What is it?"

"He's recognized my spirit." He smiled softly.

"What?" I didn't get it, "What's that supposed to mean?" I stepped closer to him.

"Simply put," Kaan glanced at me, "Because there are no other dragons here other than me and him, he's recognized me as his father." He seemed proud, happy even, "Dragon spirits are far stronger than any other demon, so this little guy here," He gently touched his cheek, "Is finding comfort in finding a similar presence." Looking at them both, especially at Kaan made me feel really guilty.

"Oh…" I placed both my hands over my chest, "I guess I wasn't enough for him…" I looked down as I got lost in thought.

I didn't think there would be such a thing. I guess having dragon's blood in you makes you different from the rest. I pursed my lips. Even the people at the inn, the hunters, were all so excited seeing Rion, saying he's their next lord…

"That's not-" Kaan shook his head, "I-" He wasn't sure what to say to me, "I know you must be a great mother to him but dragons are a little complicated."

"Yea, no kidding," I smiled sarcastically as I looked at him, "I can't even find any medicine for him anywhere else."

"Well, those kinds aren't needed anywhere else." He answered calmly.

"The only reason I had to come here." We looked at each other quietly for a second and I saw the look in his eyes waver. At that moment, I knew what questions were coming my way but I wasn't ready for them.

"Were you never going to come in front of me?" He asked, "Were you planning to keep Rion a secret all your life?" He wasn't angry when he asked me this question but rather, he seemed quite upset, like he was hurt.

But there wasn't going to be any point in lying to him. I'm sure he knows the truth too.

"Yes," I replied as I looked away in guilt.

"Why?" He asked.

"I have my reason." I replied but it made me feel so bad. I knew it was going to confuse the other person but what could I say? 

"What-"

"REASONS," I cut him off before he could ask what I was going to answer anyway, "I can't tell you." I glanced at Rion, he had fallen asleep, "I can't…" I looked away again.

"What?" Kaan was bewildered, "That's not an answer." He said firmly, "I want the truth."

"I can't give it to you." I didn't have the courage to look at him.

My answer seemed to piss him off and he glanced at Rion, seeing that the baby had fallen asleep, he walked past me and placed him on the bed carefully. I watched him act gentle with his son and it made me feel more guilty. I felt like I was a bad person.

I know Kaan would have been an amazing father. I mean, just look at him! He's just met Rion and he's treating him like someone very precious.

I clenched my shirt over my chest softly.

He would be an amazing husband too…

I watched as he stood straight up and looked at me again. My heart ached. To say that I didn't think about him all this time would be a lie.

These past several months were quite lonely as an adult. Ofcourse, having Rion with me kept me quite busy but the pregnancy phase made me yearn a lot for this man. I'm a succubus and seducing men and playing around is supposed to be in my demon nature but it never happened. It was weird, but I never had the urge to do it with anyone. What was more surprising was that the people of Rugen complimented me alot for my charm and look, but there wasn't a single man who approached me with any lustful intent. It was odd, because succubus's are like lust magnets…

Kaan walked towards and I tried to keep on a sturdy face as I gulped and stood my ground.

Every night that I stayed awake, I thought about him. I gulped yet again. But I can't have him. He's not mine to take… He never left my mind, even after all this time, I kept thinking about him but I can't have him…

He doesn't know how hard this all is for me…

Kaan stood tall in front of me. His eyes were unwavering and strong as he questioned me again, "Why?" He asked, "Why did you do all that?"

"I can't tell you," I gave him the same answer as before while I stared into his beautiful purple eyes.

"Why?" He was doing his best to keep himself under control.

"There are some things that should be kept hidden." I think there's something wrong with me. My heart's starting to act a little crazy. No! Elayne! Control yourself!

I looked away.

It's probably because I've been single for far too long… It's not Kaan. I licked my lips then pursed them. We're having a serious conversation here but my mind is acting silly.

I glanced at him and then denied my feelings once again.

"Did it never bother you?" He asked in a gentle tone, "That you were keeping my son, who is my own blood right now, away from me?"

His question was heavy, it made me feel like a criminal. I clenched my fists tightly as my chest tightened, "..." But I couldn't bring myself to answer him.

"Answer me," He stepped even closer to me but I just stepped back, "Sorin…" He called me by a name I once went by.

"Elayne…" I replied but kept my gaze away. 

He paused, "Elayne… Is that your name now?" I nodded, "I see," He sighed, "Then Elayne, aren't you going to tell me anything?"

"..." 

"Don't do this to me." He took another step closer to me and I backed away again but there is a limit when it comes to games like these and soon I stepped back and was cornered by the wall. Plus, at this point, Kaan had had enough too.

He slammed his hand on the wall beside my head in anger, "Answer me!" He demanded, "Did it not bother you at all?" I gulped.

Fuck..

"It did…" I replied as I frowned, "It went through my mind all the time."

"Then why!" He huffed, "Why did you do it?" He placed his other hand on the other side of my head on the wall, "Did you not want to see me?" He asked, "I don't think I did anything to you for you to hate me."

All of his words, every single thing he said, only made me feel more miserable.

"Do you hate me?" He asked and my heart hurt, "Did I do something? Something I'm not aware of?" It was like my feelings were being pierced, "I know there are things you're hiding from me because it seems you still don't understand how every demon spirit functions differently." I could feel his intense gaze on me. It felt like it was burning me. I felt off all of a sudden.

"Perhaps…" As I said that I felt something heavy clench my heart.

"What?"

"It's better if you don't know."

"Just tell me! I'm asking you to tell me!" I knew how desperate he must be feeling at the moment, it was clearly visible in his voice.

"I can't!" I bit my lower lip, "I just can't…"

My words were followed by silence. The kind of awkward silence that kills you. It lasted a few seconds before Kaan spoke again.

"I have a question for you," He grabbed my chin and made me look at him, "Back in Maximilian, did you not develop any feelings for me?" My heart skipped a beat and I tensed up in my stance.

My pupils shaked as I looked at him. There was something weird, I could smell something in the air. Something sweet.

"I-" I couldn't bring myself to answer him. Why would he ask me this? Why do my feelings matter to him? Wait… On that note, by now he should have been married to Leysa… But he isn't… "Why do you ask?" Could it be? He actually shared the same feeling as me?

Could it actually be?

"Do you really have to ask?" He drew his face closer, "I thought we were both on the same page." His words made my heart pound like crazy but there was something odd in his voice as well.

Unbelievable… What about fate then?

"I-" I have to deny it! "I-uh- we," I shook my head, "No-" But he didn't let me speak any further.

"How can you even deny it when you're releasing so many pheromones?" He whispered with his face only a few inches away from mine.

It clicked to me at that time. The sweet scent in the air, it was me. It was my seduction pheromones!

I looked at Kaan again, his face was getting a little flushed and I could sense the lust in him rising.

Oh shit…

How did this happen? I didn't do it on purpose!! 

But, I felt sort of elated though. My heart was pounding and for the first time since I met him again I felt sort of happy.

What was this? This was strange. Something off was happening here and it was coming from me.

My body and my mind were screaming at me to take him. I was getting turned on just because he was near me. I could feel his heavy breaths. They made me feel ecstatic.

The more I looked at Kaan the more difficult it got to control myself and then that moment came where my mind just went blank and I lost it.

I lost myself in action and went ahead and kissed him. I planted my lips on him roughly as I grabbed his cheeks, letting my desire take over me.