Desire

>>Elayne

My action caught Kaan by surprise. When I crashed my lips onto his there was a second where he was utterly confused but then again, he couldn't resist me. Not me, not my pheromones.

He kissed me back, rougher than I was, he grabbed my back and pulled all my body right next to his. I felt it electrifying when my pelvis hit his, it was like a jolt of joy.

I slipped my tongue in, sucking his, once again leaving him surprised. He returned the gesture but it wasn't enough. It felt good, it made me feel powerful, like the hunger inside of me was being satisfied but the more I had him, the more I wanted. It felt like this was going to be endless.

Like I was too starved for him. I slipped my hands down to his neck, my fingers caressing his skin with our lips still on each other.

My body just kept burning more. The kiss wasn't enough, it was pleasurable but it wasn't enough. I pulled Kaan towards the bed and forced him down on the mattress with me. Then I slipped my hands on his shirt. It was in the way and it has to be removed. It being still on him felt like a crime. 

I couldn't stop. My body was screaming for this. I wanted him so much I couldn't bear it. I was throbbing for him, I needed him inside me.

All of the sudden he grabbed my hands and pulled away, "What are you doing?" What does he mean by that? Am I not obvious enough?? He glanced at the baby, "Rion's asleep right there!"

Oh! He was worried about that. I pulled my hands away from him and wrapped them around his neck, "Don't mind him." I pulled him back in for having his lips away from mine felt like a sin.

"No!" He moved away again, "What if he wakes up!"

This annoyed me. How dare he think about something else when we're having our own private time?!

I grabbed his shirt and yanked it open, making all the buttons pop and fly away. I get that I was being aggressive and it's not like me but the way I'm burning for him isn't like me either.

My actions yet again left Kaan startled and puzzled and while he processed what happened to his shirt, I took the opportunity to turn our positions around so now I was on top of him and he was on his back on the bed, "Listen to me," I slid my hands around on his bare torso, "He just fell asleep and he won't wake up for hours now." I sat right on top of his pelvis and began to unbutton his pants.

"Sori- Elayne!" He grabbed my waist a little roughly but I loved it yet at the same time I was disappointed there were clothes in the way and he hadn't touched my skin. I had only unbuttoned his pants when I let them go and frantically took my clothes off. First my shirt, then my pants. I threw them on the floor as I felt my skin shiver. 

Kaan had his eyes on me. It was embarrassing but felt exhilarating at the same time. When I was only in my underwear I looked back at him. His gaze was stuck on me, his hands now on my bare skin that felt so good.

He kept staring at me but didn't make a move, so I did. I moved my hips in a circular motion right on top of his crotch 

That made him wince, a pleasure filled light groan escaped his lips and his grip on my waist increased. I felt his nails sink into my skin, sending jolts of joy in my body.

Ah! Yes~

I bit my lower lip as I looked at him with hunger. He looked back at me with lust. He was now high on my pheromones and had completely forgotten about his previous concerns.

Now I knew I was going to get what I wanted.

I helped him remove his pants and let ourselves be consumed by desire.

****

I woke up only to find myself on top of Kaan's bare chest with a blanket around me. It was still dark outside but I knew I had gotten a few hours of sleep in. Although something about this scenario was very familiar to me. Almost like Déjà vu.

I lazily sat up feeling quite refreshed and looked around. We were still in the room, the sheets were a mess but our kid still slept soundly in the corner. Being a baby has its own perks, we had a wild time and he didn't wake up at all!

Hmmm.  I noticed something.

There was something odd. I felt really good. Like I was full of mana…

"You're up." Hearing Kaan's voice made me jump and I looked down at him shyly.

"H-hi?" Oh My God… Did I pass out on top of him? My cheeks flushed. That's so embarrassing! It came to me quite fast, how I dropped dead the moment I finished…

Oh! My… GOD!!!

"Hello," He smirked at me, "You sure pulled a very bold move to avoid my questions." 

"Um," I slowly moved back with the intention to escape but he grabbed my thighs and pulled me back towards his stomach as he continued to lay down, "Eep!" It made me flinch and my heart almost leapt out of my chest.

"You can't leave."  He moved his hand towards my butt and grabbed it with one hand while he kept the other on my thigh, "I want my answers." He kept a strong gaze on me, "Now," He said in a strict tone.

I gulped, "I told you, I can't tell yo-"

"Don't start with me." He seemed a little pissed, "I feel like if I hadn't woken up before you, you would have tried to make another escape." He squeezed my butt making me flinch, "You're answering the questions now."

My hands were on his chest but I had no idea what to tell him. How was I going to explain anything to him?

"I don't know what to tell you…" I looked down but seeing his abs as a view wasn't a bad view, "Even if I say something, it might all seem untrue to you…"

"Then I'll ask shorter questions." He said and then sat up moving me down to his lap. He crossed his legs and moved mine on either side of his body, "You faked your death with the Oracle's help. Didn't you?" I sat on his lap now and he had both of his hands on my butt.

I took a deep internal breath, I can't run away from him now so I just decided to answer what I could.

"Yes" I nodded.

"So she knew your actual gender this whole time?"

"Yes,"

"And why did she agree to help you?"

I pursed my lips and glanced at him, "Um…" I didn't know how much I could tell him but he immediately sensed my doubt and squeezed my butt.

!!!

It made my body shiver and I instinctively put my hands on his shoulders.

"The oracle knew!" I blurted out and he stopped, "She knew." I looked at him

"Knew what?"

"Everything…." I replied, "She told me if I didn't leave my identity as Sorin, I would die…"

Kaan frowned, "What?" He was perplexed, "You would die? Why?" The strong expression of his, turned softer after hearing about death.

Of course he wouldn't get it… There's a big story behind it all.

I sighed, "A lot of things had happened before… She told me I can't change some things and ifI stayed in the spotlight the world itself would kill me."

He raised his brows at me, "The world itself would kill you?" He shook his head, "That doesn't make any sense…"

I paused. 

The time of the original timeline has passed. We're further in the future now but I am still afraid of many things. I looked at Kaan. 

I have many fears and one of them was meeting you again and realizing how in love I still am. I already had my heart broken back in the Maximillian palace and I didn't want to go through the same feeling again.

I closed my eyes in defeat.

Yet it happened. I met him and my feelings exploded. I couldn't contain myself. When he was so close to me I completely lost myself to the feelings I had been suppressing. We did it and now here we are, at an uncertain point.

I looked at him again. I know I yearn for this man but will staying with him now kill me? I glanced at Rion. Will it hurt him?

"What are you thinking about so deeply?"

"Kaan…" I don't wish to part with him now. If only I hadn't met him again! I feel like I'm strongly attached to him! I always feared this. I knew this would happen if I met him! I knew if I got connected to him, I wouldn't want to leave…

"Yes?" He replied softly.

I want to feel him whenever I want, I want to stay by his side but would that be okay?

I gulped.

"The Oracle and I shared a secret." I decided to tell him more.

I wonder… I'm not Sorin anymore, so will I be free to choose him and not face doom? Right now, I'm just a commoner from another country. We're on an unwritten path, Kaan didn't marry Leysa.

So, will we be okay?

"What secret?"

So would it be okay to tell him? To choose him now and stay here? 

"She and I committed a taboo."