The source of my misery

>>Mavis

The winter cold seeped in through the walls. Inside the house making everything cooler.

The water I'm in is getting cold too. She didn't warm it up again, nor did she change it. Well, it's not an easy task but still I am her daughter. She should consider my health.

I blinked from under the water, the only thing I could freely move around were my eyes but there wasn't much I could see since I was submerged in the tub water.

I can't remember, how long have I been bound? I sleep for days, dwelling in the world of darkness where I can't even seem to dream. Whatever she gives me, only sends me to darkness.

"Mavis?" I heard my mother call me and moved my eyes to see her come and sit next to the tub, "You're up!" She seemed happy as she took out the key she wears as a necklace around her neck and unlocked the handcuff from my wrist that locked me to the wall right next to the tub.

I didn't have the energy to speak to her and she was aware of that. She made me like this. So lifeless, where I couldn't even move myself around freely. I can't even lift my hand, so when she grabbed my tail that was already half out of the tub and yanked me out of the water I couldn't do anything. 

I lifelessly fell on the cold wooden floor feeling like a fish near death. The cold wasn't good for a siren like me. It makes me sick. I feel like I'm freezing even though it's probably not that cold yet.

My mother sat crossed legged next to me and opened her pearl jar that was now empty.

"Cry for me darling," She asked, "Come on, We have to eat too."

I looked at her with a blank expression. There was nothing I could give to her. The tears have dried up. I had cried a number of times for her but now the tears won't come out. I've been living this miserably for quite a while now.

I'm locked up in the house, sedated and thrown under water where I sleep most of the time.

Why did I come back? Why did I have to come back? I already died here once, there was no need to bring me back! This is the cruelest thing the world could have done to me.

I can't feel anything… I can't feel my arms, I can barely move my fingers… I don't even know how much time has passed… My heart hurt so much as I watched the steam come out of my mouth as the cold seeped into my lungs.

The last time I was up, winter hadn't started…

"Mavis, my love," Mother caressed my cheek, "Is something wrong?" 

This woman is obsessed with me. So much that she's paranoid and suspicious even. I wonder if that's normal? The day my father died she started getting obsessive. She thinks if I'm not bound to something, not locked up, I'd run away. She's not wrong though, I'd do anything to run away from here.

I was so happy when I died in my first life. I got to go somewhere so special and amazing. I was an orphan there but in that world full of technology and advancement we were all equal human beings. My life was great there! I didn't have to hide myself, we were all humans there. There was no discrimination like there's here in this world.

My breathing got a little heavy.

I don't know how many injections she's given me but at this point I can't even bring myself to lift a finger. I can't feel anything. I tried to move my lips, to say something, anything but they only quivered in response.

My eyes were droopy and my eyelids heavy.

"I guess just bath water doesn't really work…" She took out her pocket knife, "I need some pearls darling, the duchess is waiting for me, so bear with me." She nodded at me as she moved in to cut my skin, "I'll take you to the river afterwards."

The river…

When I'm drowning in the river, my whole body submerged in water, I can sing.

A siren's ability to heal is related to their singing. It resonates with my body and allows the wounds to heal at an amazing rate.

"Aunnnnnn!!!!" A muffled yet extremely painful groan escaped my lips when she stabbed me. It reminded me of the first time she did this. That time, I cried my eyes out and ran away. 

In my first life I then died here, in the forest, when the war broke out but it didn't happen this time. The king made some changes when she came back to this life again but it may have all gone well for her, it completely ruined my life.

I can't move myself but each time the blade pierces me the pain is never less. It brings out the tears immediately that turn into pearls as they fall to the floor.

"Good girl," My mother praised me, "Just a few more." She thrusted the blade further in my belly, making my body jolt in pain. I jumped like a dying fish out of water trying to survive.

"A-h" I opened my mouth again to speak, "S-s" The pain in my veins gave strength to my voice, "St-tto" Tears rolled down my cheeks and the sound of little balls hitting the floor made me mad, "-topp"  If only I wasn't a siren! If only I was born a human!!

"Oh dear!" My mother was hurt seeing me hurt, "I'm done!" She caressed my cheeks lovingly and then roughly pulled the blade out, "See?" Blood spilled out of my gut making my already numb mind go completely blank with pain, "No more," She kissed my forehead and then pressed a towel on my belly, "I'll take you to the river right away. You'll heal in no time." She kissed my nose, "Thank you for staying with me. I love you."

Fuck … 

I looked at her with detest

Just let me die at this point….