Oct419

I don't know!

Is it even worth living?

I just need a gun!

Give me a fucking gun,

so I can just end it all!

So now I lay here,

Resisting the urge to take it off.

Forcing myself to endure.

Plastic crinkling around my head.

The noise increases with my hyperventilation.

Using it as an excuse to stop.

Trying again and again to end it.

Wishing for a gun to appear in my hand,

ready to pull the fictional trigger

that would save me from this hell.

Going to sleep to try again in the morning.

Failing again as well.

Twenty.

Twenty times attempted suffocation,

in my bed,

right where I sleep,

the memory still haunting me.