Chapter Fifty-Three

The wind blew her hair upwards, as more gusts of air slammed into her body. Her dress fluttered about behind her and her tears fell to the sea far below the hill. She stood near the precipice, her body shaking as she cried.

She remembered every detail. As if she had experienced it for the first time. And now she knew her attacker was alive and well. And nearby. He was protected by that kingdom, and he could return at any time to hurt her again with no repercussions. Her heart sank to the ground. She would never be safe, never be whole again.

She heard the shuffling of footsteps behind. Twigs snapped and she heard someone rushing up to her. Her body snapped around and she saw Gabriel staring at her, fear in his eyes, pain plain on his features.

He held a hand out to her.

"Lucianne, darling, please."

"Gabriel, I'm sorry - " but her tears drowned her voice out.

"Please," he said.

He looked like a mess. His face was pale and his cheeks were sunk in. His whole face was wet with tears and perspiration from his race to get to her. His lips trembled and his entire body shook with pain. She could hardly recognise him, this shell of the man she loved.

His hand was still stretched out to her. "Please, Lucianne. Don't do this. Please."

"Gabriel, I'm in so much pain. I can't relive this moment again and again. I want everything to end."

"My love, you don't have to do this. I'll make sure he dies by my hand. He'll never touch you again, I swear it."

"How can you swear such a thing?"

"I can, just trust me."

"Tell me, how can you?"

He paused.

"You can't, can you?" she said to him.

"Please, please…"

"Can you tell me I will be whole again? That I won't forget everything and become insane again?"

"Please…"

"Can you tell me that I am going to recover, that I won't relive it again and can actually make progress on recovery?"

"You are making progress!"

"I am going to return to Lucianne Bell again, aren't I?"

"No - "

"Tell me I won't. That I can recover."

"You'll recover."

"Will I become Lucianne Bell again?"

"Please…"

"You can't say that!"

"I can't! Fuck, I can't! But you're not the only one in pain, Lucianne! My life ends every time I see your soul breaking in your eyes! And I want nothing, I'll stop at sacrificing nothing to save you! I need you, please!"

"I'm sorry," she said.

And she fell.