Chapter Thirty-Five

Entry:

A new rage consumes me- my eyes have turned red. I crave revenge-

No, don't be stupid, you will not succeed. Then again, what do you have to lose? 

Phoenix.

--

"Greyson?"

Greyson bolted awake and saw Cole watching him. 

"I'm here, what do you need?" Greyson asked. 

Cole merely pursed his lips together and shook his head softly.

"It didn't happen."

Greyson's eyes fell to the floor. "It did."

"You don't understand! It couldn't have happened!"

Greyson soaked in Cole yelling at him. Greyson deserved this. He deserved to be yelled at. 

"How could it have happened? Bird promised us that everything would be okay! Why isn't everything okay?" Cole was sobbing, tears and snot leaking from his face and falling to the floor. Greyson placed a hand on top of Cole's and listened. 

"I was supposed to leave," Cole's voice cracked. 

"Bird told me something," Greyson said, "right before everything went wrong. She told me that she was going to stay behind. It sounded like she always thought that, she was going to take the blame."

Cole's sobbing stopped, and he looked Greyson in the eyes. His face was tight, squeezing into utter disgust.

"What did you just say?" Cole whispered.

"Bird was never intending to go back to the Lowlands, she was going to take the blame."

"She never planned on coming back with us?" Cole yelled. "The only reason I went back into the castle was to get her! To get you! Fuck! If she had just told me that, I would have just left with the kids. Oh no, the kids died because of her.

"I hate her. I hate her for that and what she has done to this family. She is the one who fought in the Tournament. She is the one who wanted to steal the crown. She is the one who lied and prompted me go back into castle."

Greyson sat back, unsure of what to say. He had always thought of the siblings as inseparable, as people who had unconditional love. Now Greyson knew, love was always conditional. 

"Get some sleep," was all Greyson could think of. "You'll feel better if you sleep."

"I don't want to sleep. I want to leave, please let me leave." 

Greyson felt tears pouring out of his own eyes. "Please stay, I can't lose you or Bird." 

"Don't say that," Cole pleaded, "say anything but that."

Greyson wiped his eyes and sniffled his nose. "Why? I love you and Bird. I need you and Bird. Can't you see that? Why can't you appreciate the things I do for you?"

"You don't love me the way I want, though," Cole smiled through a cough. 

"What?"

Cole wiped his eyes and took a couple of breaths to calm down. "I am such an idiot."

"Cole, what do you mean? Please, talk to me." 

"Lucas is dead, isn't he?" Cole said. "I don't see him anywhere."

All Greyson could do was nod.

"Is Bird alive?" 

Greyson's eyes averted to the ground. "Yes. She's unconscious."

"But she lived. She lived and they died…" Cole's breath was steady and he seemed to be composed again, a hand tapping his chin in thought. 

"Cole?" 

"I want to be alone right now," Cole decided. 

"Let me watch over you. Talon is taking care of Bird, so you don't have to worry about her being neglected."

"I'm not worried. I'm sure she is being cared for," Cole retorted dryly.

"She is," Greyson said full-heartedly, missing the sarcastic tone in Cole's voice. 

"Leave me alone," Cole punctuated.

"But what if you try to do something rash? I can't leave you."

"Look at yourself. You haven't even changed out of your uniform. Is that my blood on your pants? Go take care of yourself. I'm fine." 

Greyson wanted to object, but Cole did have a point. Greyson needed his own minor injuries checked and change into something clean.

"I'll be leaving, then. I'll visit later today," Greyson surrendered.

"One thing," Cole asked, "how did Bird become unconscious?'

"It was for her own safety. She would run off and gotten killed if I hadn't let her rest," Greyson said. "So I knocked her unconscious."

  "I see. I have some thinking to do. Leave." 

Greyson paused. Would Cole really be okay? In the doorway, Greyson glanced back to Cole. A small smile split Greyson's face in two at the thought that Cole was safe before an ugly frown settled deep in his roots. The kids were dead. With that, he slid his hand off the frame and walked to his quarters to change. 

After slipping into a loose shirt and comfortable pants, Greyson returned to the Great Hall. There was still a crowd: the injured, relatives of the injured, and people waiting for carriages to take them home. As Greyson maneuvered around them, he could hear the Princess handling one of the angrier guests.

"You were supposed to provide security!" an old man shouted. 

Greyson wondered if the Princess would start apologizing or blaming the guards for failing.

Instead, the Princess sounded bored, "You're alive, aren't you?"

"I'm traumatized!"

"And I'm unempathetic," she shrugged. 

Greyson stopped and coughed into his hand. The old man's eyes snapped to his and with a huff, he stomped away. Did cruelty run in the family? But as he looked back at the Princess, he noticed she was dealing with injured people. She wasted no time making way for things she deemed important. 

And there, not too far away, stood the Prince. Even approaching the Prince from behind, Greyson could tell he hadn't rested all night. An older couple shook the Prince's hand with tears sprinkling their eyes. There was an open, black carriage perched right behind them, waiting.

"Talon," Greyson tried to get his attention.

Talon stopped mid-conversation and snapped, "No." 

Without sparing a glance at him, Talon finished sending off the couple. Before the next pair talked to the Prince, Greyson grabbed his arm and yanked him to the side. 

"Can I see Bird?"

Talon curled his lip. "I'm busy, no."

"You are busy, so you should let me see her and check in on her while you do your job." 

"I am doing my job by blocking you," Talon sneered. "You have lost your right to her after attacked her."

"You and I both know that it was for the best-"

"Bullshit!" Talon yelled. 

Everyone in the room quieted down as the shout echoed throughout the hall. Greyson wondered if they had ever heard Talon raise his voice before. 

Talon let out an annoyed breath and lowered his voice, "I will not listen to anything you have to say."

"But will you listen to her?" Greyson asked. "If Bird wants to see me, may I talk to her then?"

"I will listen to her wishes," Talon admitted, his shoulders slumping in defeat. 

"Thank you," Greyson enunciated. 

Greyson's shoes squeaked as he turned to leave. Breathing in deeply, his tired eyes fluttered close in thought. Greyson needed to protect Phoenix, but Talon was blocking him from doing so. While striding to the infirmary, Greyson swore to give his full attention to the person he could care for; Cole. 

The first sight in the infirmary abruptly halted Greyson's noisy pace. Cole was strapped to a bed, unable to move as nurses wheeled him away. Ragged screams were chanted as Cole squirmed in a desperate attempt to get free. Blood soaked through his bandages where his bullet wound was.

What animalistic scene was this? 

Running to Cole's side, Greyson found himself being held back by the nurses. "Wait! What's happening? What's going on?" 

"Cole isn't of sound mind," one nurse explained, "he needs to be locked up until he calms down." 

Cole was being taken away, Greyson was losing Cole, Cole was- 

"Where is he going?" Greyson asked. 

"We are going to put him in a prison cell for now, so there is nothing he can use for violence and he can be watched. It'll only be temporary, just until he is no longer a danger to others or himself."

"Isn't a cell a little much?" Greyson asked as they turned a corner. 

His mind flashed back to how upset Phoenix had been when he tried to make her recover. He couldn't feel sorry for caring about her, but the cell seemed to only push her toward the awful plan.

"We have no other space that's completely weaponless, and we don't have the time to build a comfortable room," the nurse informed. "The tower has too many stairs, so we can't transport him there." 

"You can't follow," a third nurse pointed out, stopping Greyson right before they wheeled a fighting Cole down the dark passage. 

"I can visit him, right?" Greyson asked. 

"Yes, as long as you remain supervised." 

Greyson gulped as he looked past the nurse to Cole. Cole was unrecognizable as he yelled insults, spat curses, and sobbed uncontrollably. 

Greyson's frame lingered in the hall as he stared at Cole being pushed away. Who could Greyson blame for all of this? 

The family was the closest he had felt with anyone, and now they were all broken or dead. Greyson's shoulders bounced as he scuffed. He was an idiot for thinking anything could be different. Or rather, thinking that different meant better. No, different meant so much worse. 

#

Greyson had asked the Prince about Phoenix every day for the last two weeks. The answer was always the same. She's going to be alright, no thanks to you. 

Greyson didn't know what that meant, but he figured Phoenix had people looking after her, so he focused on Cole. Cole, who had been locked up in a room for the full duration of the past two weeks. He would have been let out in a week, but Cole had started to threaten himself and others. 

"How is he doing?" Greyson asked the nurse at the bottom of the stairs. Cole had been moved to the same room where Phoenix had been, up in the tower, away from everyone, safe. 

"Not any better. There's only so much we can do. He says… things. About what he wants to do to himself, and what he wants to do to others. He's a danger, we can't let him out yet."

Greyson merely nodded. He climbed his way up into the tower. With each step up, Cole's curses grew louder, echoes surrounding Greyson. Greyson opened the door and slid into the room. Two nurses were already in there, doing another assessment. The blue orchid from Phoenix's stay wilted beside the bed. 

"Cole." 

Cole snapped his head to Greyson.

"Why did you bite the nurse who tried to feed you?"

"I hate them all," Cole said.

"Why? How can I help you?" Greyson asked desperately, his face crumbling and hands reaching out. Cole sat in the bed, his legs crossed as he stared Greyson down. 

"Stop with such useless chat," Cole responded with a roll of his eyes.

Greyson snorted in annoyance; he was sick of Cole shutting down any attempts to help him.

"Fine. No more wondering about your behavior. Let's talk about me," Greyson said. "I have been blocked from helping Bird. It's just you and me now, so you need to start opening up."

Cole collapsed on his back and curled up into himself. "I have nothing to say."

"From the anxious scratch marks on your neck to your tears, your body begs to differ."

"I hate it here," Cole said. 

"I hate you being here, too. But you have to stay here until you are no longer a threat to yourself or others. So how about we start small? How about you tell me something you want?"

Cole was silent, and Greyson couldn't tell if it was because he was deep in thought or because he refused to answer. Then, Cole glanced at the nurses with suspicion. 

"Can you guys wait outside in the hall for a second? I'll call you if I need anything," Greyson said. 

The two nodded and made their way out the door. 

It was just Cole and Greyson now. No one to interrupt, eavesdrop, or assess.

"I'll start," Greyson said. "I want to protect you and Bird, but right now you're in front of me and you're not letting me do that. You bite and hiss, you cry for days and then lash out in anger. Why don't you let me protect you?"

"Like how you protected Bird?"

"I stand by what I did," Greyson defended. 

"I don't think I'd hate that," Cole whispered.

"What?"

Cole's deep blue eyes lifted from the floor bashfully. He twiddled with his thumbs.

"I don't think I'd hate it if you knocked me out to prevent me from fighting, I wouldn't hate knowing you would do anything to protect me," Cole repeated, looking up at Greyson's agape mouth. "I get why Bird hated it when you locked her up in this room, but I can't bring myself to hate the way you show you care."

Greyson was stunned, but a warmth spread through his chest for the first time in a while.

"Really? You wouldn't mind if I was over possessive, overprotective?" 

"No," Cole glanced down.

"Why not?"

Cole didn't respond.

"Why not? Everyone else seems to think it's wrong."

Cole lifted his gaze to Greyson. Greyson stared right back, meeting Cole's eyes for a couple of seconds before sitting on the edge of the bed so they were a mere foot apart. Cole sighed and gave in. 

"I've blocked out any thoughts about my father. Mom was killed a few years ago. Bird left everyday to work…" Cole's voice cracked and he pulled his knees into his chest. "And then Daisy and Lucas...they...died," he trembled between their names.

The tears became part of a violent fit. Cole's whole body shook uncontrollably as he bit down into the flesh of his arm. Cole's breath couldn't keep up- gasps of breathe became irregular. 

"Cole, it's okay, breathe, breathe," Greyson placed a hand on Cole's knee. "You don't have to-"

"IT'S BECAUSE THEY ALL LEAVE ME!" 

Greyson was stunned into silence.

"Everyone has left me, and the sound of you staying close no matter what… I don't hate it."

Greyson smiled to himself. Finally, a person who would accept his love. 

"Promise you'll stop talking about harm?" Greyson asked.

Cole nodded slowly.

"I'll ask the doctor to clear you in a couple of days."

Cole nodded again. 

"Good. Now, you're going to have to remain alive in order to stay by my side, so no more talking about hurting anyone. Second, I'm going to need healing too. Will you help me heal? In exchange, I will never leave your side," Greyson promised.

Cole unraveled his wound body and really smiled for the first time since the ball. "I'll be in your care." 

Greyson grabbed Cole's hand and pulled him into a hug so eager Cole was pushed onto his back. Greyson's chest pressed up against Coles, and Greyson could hear the thunder of Cole's heartbeat, and he knew.

Greyson pulled back from the hug and collided his mouth against Cole's. 

Cole stiffened in shock but then locked his arms behind Greyson's neck, pulling him close. Nothing had ever felt this good; nothing could ever compare to Cole's lips on his. Greyson gripped his waist, slim and delicate and perfectly fitting into his two hands. 

A knock on the door broke them apart, yet they remained hugging each other. 

Cole made no move to untangle their bodies, instead sending a quick squeeze as the nurses came back in asking more assessment questions. 

Cole would never be in danger again, Greyson was sure.

No one in Greyson's life would ever be taken from him again.