Chapter Nineteen

"How are you feeling?" Lawson asked him as Declan lowered himself to the bed with a grimace.

"A lot better," Declan said. "But so fucking sore everywhere."

"Open your shirt," Lawson said and Declan unbuttoned it. He removed it from his body and Lawson stared at his chest. The laceration was now a light-coloured scar, but surrounding the tissue was skin in various shades of purple. Lawson frowned instantly at the sight of it. "How can I help?"

"I already took some anti-inflammatory meds," Declan said. "I'll be alright, don't worry."

An idea popped up in his mind. "Wait here," Lawson said to him and left the room. Walking into the kitchen, he stopped before the fridge and pressed a cup into the dispenser. Some ice tumbled out and Lawson took the cup back into the room. "I think these - " Lawson stopped when he came back into the room and saw Declan pushing his pants down his body.

"Oh, I just wanted to shower - "

"I was wondering if ice cubes might help," Lawson started but his eyes fell on Declan's cock. He swallowed hard. "Christ, I haven't seen your cock in a long while."

"Well, we haven't fucked because I was injured."

"I miss fucking you so much."

"Trust me, I feel the same way," Declan said.

"Lie on the bed," Lawson ordered.

"But I'm still sore - "

"Don't worry, we're not going to fuck," Lawson said and Declan put his back onto the bed. Lawson put the cup of ice cubes on the floor and removed one ice cube from it. He put it into his mouth and sucked on it before removing it. Then he placed the ice cube on Declan's chest and it rose and fell unevenly as his breathing turned ragged.

"Fuck, Lawson…"

Lawson trailed the ice cube along his scar and brought it down his stomach, towards his navel. He ran the ice cube over his belly button and Declan's body shivered as he arched his back off the bed. Lawson lowered himself down into Declan's mouth and licked his lips as he kissed his bottom lip. He traced the ice cube all over his abdomen while his lips roved Declan's mouth. Sucking on his upper lip this time, he breathed into his mouth and Declan sucked his air in. Both of them let out a moan when Lawson pressed his hot chest into the ice cube against Declan's chest. They continued kissing sensually until time faded from existence.

❃❃❃

"Here, your coffee," Lawson said, passing the cup to Declan, who took it and immediately opened the top to sip from it. He exhaled in satisfaction as they walked down the pavement. "We should do this more often."

"Do what?"

"Dating."

Declan laughed. "We're dating?"

"What else could we be doing then?"

"Aren't you the type that doesn't date?"

"That used to be a rule of mine, yeah," Lawson said.

"Then?"


"Well, Declan," Lawson said. "The rules don't apply to you."

Declan's lips spread out into a smile. "Shut up, you asshole."

"Pretty sure you want it wide open," Lawson said but Declan didn't laugh. They finished their coffees in front of a huge trash can and threw their cups into it. "So, last night was amazing, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Declan said causally before he hurried down the pavement.

"Wait!" Lawson called out after him. When he caught up, he reached an arm around Declan's far shoulder to pull him into a side embrace but Declan shied away so quickly that the hurt struck Lawson in an instant. He watched as Declan threw his eyes everywhere.

"Someone could've seen!" Declan said to him.

"And so fucking what?" Lawson replied.

In about thirty minutes, Declan had thrown the door to his penthouse open and they were trading heated words.

"Are you embarrassed of me? Is that what this fucking is, huh, Declan?"

"You know I'm not! I just - I'm just - "

"What is so bad about being gay? Tell me!"

"You don't get it," Declan said, knocking his tissue holder to the ground, where it clanged loudly across the surface. "You just don't!"

"It's who you are, and you fucking know it! How can you fuck me behind closed doors and when you're walking outside, suddenly you don't know who I am?"

"Look, Lawson, it's not easy for everyone. Surely not as easy as it was for you."

"Hell it isn't!"

"I told you already. I was molested for much of my time in high school. Somewhere deep down, I always knew I was gay but after what that professor did to me, I suddenly felt so ashamed of myself. I couldn't accept myself for who I was and to this day, I still have doubts when it comes to my sexuality."

"Declan, I - "

"I know you don't understand and I know you're mad, but I fear that if I came out of the closet, I would end up being a victim again."

"No, I'm sorry. I understand. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you," Lawson said. "These things take time and I should have given you all the time you needed to come to terms with it. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Declan said. "Thanks for understanding."

"I never thought I'd say this to anyone, much less a man, but I love you, Declan. I love you with every breath I take."

"I love you too, Lawson," Declan said and the distance closed between them in a tight embrace.

❃❃❃

Declan held the bouquet of roses in his hand proudly as he walked down the corridor of Lawson's floor in his office building. Everyone was staring at him and whispering behind their hands, but he didn't care. He had decided a while ago that it was time to leave the past behind and Lawson promised to give him as much time as he needed. And now, he was ready to be who he was and proud. He stopped before Lawson's door and inhaled sharply, then threw the door open.

Lawson was bent over in laughter, another man's head caught under his arm and his other hand rubbing hard onto the top of the man's head. His head snapped up at him and he stared at the roses in his hand for a while before the man separated from Lawson and shoved him on the shoulder.

Declan stepped into the office and flung the bouquet of roses into his face. They landed smack on his chest and the roses flew down on every side of him. Lawson's jaw dropped as he stared between Declan and the man.

"Fuck you, Lawson!" Declan said, his heart swelling with pain.

"Look, it's not what you think - "

"Who the fuck is he? Are you fucking him behind my back?" Declan roared and people gathered outside Lawson's door.

"Declan, please. It's not what it looks."

"Do you know how hard it was to come here as a man bringing a bouquet of roses to his lover, who is also another man?"

"Wait - "

"I fucking despise you," Declan said before turning around to the door. "What are you guys looking at?!"

"Declan," Lawson said, racing over and turning him over by the shoulders. Declan faced him, and tears poured from his eyes.

"Why - Why am I - " Declan said. "I can't believe - "

"Dude, that guy is not my lover, alright? I'm not cheating on you," Lawson said to him as he wiped his tears away.

"Then why - "

"He's my brother, for Christ's sake," Lawson said with a huff of laughter.

"What?" Declan said, staring between Lawson and the man. 


"Yeah," the man said in laughter. "We're related by blood. Even if that wasn't true, he's not my type." And the man pretended to barf. "I happen to like tits."

"Oh," Declan said, heat filling his cheeks. "Crap."

"You're the only fucking one in the world for me, alright?" Lawson said to Declan as he pressed his forehead to his.

"Lawson…"

"Alright," Lawson separated from him and gestured to everyone who was paying attention. "Everybody, out! Out! Now!"