The Proposal

Ravi and I were lovers for almost an year. He came into my life after I had a stream of failed relationships. Most of my exes were looking for casual hookups, but when they would find out I was not that interested in physical gratification, they would try to hang around and chase me for over a couple of months and then amicably break-up with me on the name of "we are different people". I remember having been ghosted twice right after the D-days, buy guys who had been "dating" me for over two months. It only added to my miseries. I would spiral back into the trench of my insecurities-those dug by my mother and enhanced by society.

I am morbidly obese. I have crooked tooth on the side of ny mouth and what you call a "bum-nose". My skin is browner than leather and my frizzy curls make me look much bigger than I am. I look like a giant next to my boyfriend. It doesn't help that Ravi is only an inch taller than me, thus forbidding me to wear any sort of heels. Sometimes I even had to chose flat running shoes or he would feel uncomfortable next to me.

But even after all that, I was happy. Ravi had accepted me in my worst. I am aware that I am not attractive. But he never went out with anyone in my friends' group. They are all so pretty. Simmi is such a hottie, she has too many men flocking in her DMs. She has a pool of male friends, all friendzoned and waiting in line to get her attention. She is a girl spoiled by choice. Ravi had enquired about her a couple of times but after we had a group dinner, he couldn't stop expressing how annoyed he was with her materialistic approach.

Though I was torn between my boyfriend and my best friend, I decided it was better if they never met again. And it so happened that I ended up being distanced from her too. And because Simmi was the popular one, she took all the girls with her. Only Sheena stuck around. Now we are the two besties of average looks, me the fatty and Sheena the nerdy one with the glasses.

Yet I was happy. Ravi was my world. I loved cooking for him. He was mostly late from office because of his online meetings, and he would always be on office calls even after he returned home. I did everything, cooking cleaning, folding his socks... I used to check whether his shampoo bottles were empty and replaced them before he noticed. I earned well enough and got home early fron work which is why I did the groceries and household chores. The only thing I cared for was the amazing night we spent together, every weekend. For that one hour of joy, I was okay to do whatever he wanted. I was his live-in girlfriend. Within six months I had managed to win over a sexy, mature, dashing young man. All the girls of my batch who flaunted their beauty during my school days, would get jealous the moment I would walk in with him. There must be something about me I thought, that I got his attention even with the way I looked.

Today however, I feel like boulders are churning inside my stomach. I have a burning sensation in my heart. As he sits opposite me and tells me what he wants, I feel I am falling back into the same old trench. My eyes have turned to stone as I look at him, speechless. I can't hear his words anymore, the first line of his conversation was enough.

"Ahilya", he said, "I want an open relationship."