Crab Empanadas

After our daily pass-down was completed, I headed to my truck. I was incredibly sore climbing in and pounded three over the counter painkillers. I put on my car playlist and headed for the main road. The great thing about Sunday at 6 AM is that there are no other cars on the road, and a fifteen-minute drive is reduced to five. When I pulled into the driveway, I gathered enough strength to climb out of the truck and limped the short 20 feet to the door. I ripped off all the gear, grabbed a beer, and headed for the shower. The phrase Roxanne said earlier, "Thanks for what you do for us and.....me," rang out in my head and reminded me of the first level one cluster fuck that Roxanne was a part of.

Roxanne was three months into a year's nursing rotation when she inherited a disaster of a patient from the day shift. At that time, I was talking to a CNA I had a crush on when I heard screaming from down the hall in a different room. I ran into the room to find a large male patient who had taken Roxanne's trauma shears and had her pinned against the wall with the shears against her throat. I moved the uncooperative asshat out of the way enough for Roxanne to exit. I decided to try to get the dude on the floor, and in the process, the shears lodged in my thigh. With the shears embedded in my leg, I managed to hold the guy long enough for Chester and Jacoby to assist. I got out of the room to have the shears properly removed while Jacoby, Chester, and the nursing staff strapped the guy to the bed. While limping to the trauma bay, I looked over to the desk where a therapist sat and saw Roxanne crying on the shoulder of therapist Ron. When I made brief eye contact, Roxanne mouthed thank you, and for a second, that made the pain go away.

I got onto the bed, and the nurses cut my pants off to get a better look at the wound. After my pants were removed, my leg started to bleed profusely. I had been around long enough to know that the shears must have shifted and clipped an artery. An Emergency Room Tech put a tourniquet on my leg to stop the bleeding, which hurt almost as much as being stabbed. Dr. Redington walked in and began to assess my leg. He leaned close to me and said, "The crazy shit we do for women." I chuckled, and his wife, a nurse named Sheila, barked, "Knock it off. How old are you?" Accompanied by a wink, he put on gloves and started to fix my leg. When I was stitched up, Roxanne had gone home, and Chester gave me a ride. Getting shanked earned me a two-month paid vacation, brownie points with the CNA, and, most importantly, a leg up in the competition for Roxanne. After I hopped out, I realized I had spent thirty minutes in the shower, which cut down on my much-needed rest. It was time to clamber in bed and hope that my dreams consisted of Roxanne instead of getting stabbed.

I was rudely woken up by a phone call from my boss, Tim. One of the three numbers that rang when my phone was set to do not disturb, and he was pissed. "God dammit, Henry." I thought "Oh fuck, he used my legal name." He continued, "You saw Thomas choke a guy out and didn't report it?!" I had to gather myself not to get myself fired for cursing out my boss, "I didn't see Thomas do anything. By the time I ran by, the dude was unconscious, and how about, thanks Hank for keeping a lunatic off the street." There was a long pause followed by, "I appreciate you, Henry." That asshole knew I hated my legal name. He continued, "I was woken up by the hospital president, who was pissed off that a nurse filed a complaint saying Thomas put the guy in a chokehold." I responded with, "I read Thomas's report, and he stated the dude swung at him, and Thomas protected himself. Things can get unconventional because you won't let us have pepper spray or tasers." I knew there was no chance of us getting any tools, and that comment would get him to hang up the phone. "Okay, Henry, get some rest because Jacoby called out, and It's just going to be you and Chester." Before I could convince him to put more effort into finding cover, the fucker hung up the phone. Since there were going to be two of us, I needed my beauty sleep. The moment my head hit the pillow, my alarm went off.

I crawled out of bed and decided that I needed to skip the shower for an extra thirty minutes of sleep. This was the second time I missed a morning shower because I considered it bad luck. The shift that I didn't take a shower before work happened to be the time I got stabbed, but the risk seemed worth an extra thirty minutes of sleep. I figured nothing could be worse than getting a trauma shear rammed in my thigh. I got the rest of my stuff together and got into my truck. I decided I had just enough time to go to my favorite empanada place. It was a short drive from my house, cheap, and close to the local university. As I was driving, four cop cars and an ambulance flew towards the red light district. I decided that that shitshow was going to be a future problem, and I needed the empanadas. I entered the restaurant and ordered my usual four crab empanadas and a banana dessert empanada. I got back in the truck, and two police cars with an ambulance went towards the hospital. I panic ate two empanadas, and decided to get going because I was running behind schedule.