The Boat

I went to the ER just in time to see Roxanne chatting with Chad, a pretentious prick, another travel nurse with daddy's money. He always brags about how he still wants to be a nurse despite never having to work a day, and here I am, making half as less and doing twice the work. I decided now wasn't the time, but as I walked past the two, Roxanne stated, "Did you save the day?" I stopped and turned around to see Chad's deceiving smile embedded with disgust, contrasted by Roxanne's warm smile. I said "I made a peace treaty with a confused veteran, and he let me keep the spoon he launched at me," Before Roxanne could respond, Braxton stated, "You guys didn't kick his ass like you people normally do?" I thought to myself "Oh, it's on you fucker." Before, I could say, "If your dad taught you manners to the same equivalent of handouts you were given, you might be a decent human being." Roxanne fired off, "Hank's a good person who cares about people, and he's the only security guard I trust." Chad scoffed and sauntered off with his tail between his legs. Before I could thank her for sticking it to that prick, Roxanne rubbed my arm and said, "I got your back." but she winced when her hand touched mine. I looked at my hands and said, "Shit, I'm sorry, I might have some nasty stuff on them from the old dude earlier." She said, "No, my hands are just dry." She then smiled but not her usual smile. This one was forced. She then said, "I have to go give some meds, and thanks for what you do for us and.....me. We can catch up later, and you can share more of your war stories?" I said, "Absolutely." She turned and walked away. I admired her....the color of her scrub pants. 

I retreated to the office to check in with Chester to see if he wanted us to do the 2 am property checks. I walked in to find the peanut gallery snickering. Jacoby had short timers syndrome due to him leaving for Florida for a girl he had never met in person. He poked, "You're gonna let a girl fight your battles for you?" I said, "What are you going to do if you move there and she has a pecker, and what happens if it's bigger than yours?" I wondered if that one will get something else than the usual "Fuck you." He responded, "I'll send you a photo." I fired back with, "No, No. I'm good. I'll take your word for it. On a different note, did you two see her wince on the camera?" Jacoby stated, "I did see that and was wondering if you had Hank's happy time in the bathroom before you walked up to her and Fabio." I chuckled and wiped my hand on his bald head. He spun around in his office chair and attempted to cup-check me, but I was ready for him and dodged the assault. Chester elected to have us do our property checks, and it was my turn to be in the vehicle.

The work car, a beat-up ex-police car affectionately named the boat, was a speed bump away from catching on fire, and I always said a little prayer every time I had to go over 30 miles per hour. I enjoyed property checks when the weather was good because it allowed me to listen to my favorite podcasts, and my special playlist named property checks. I was a big daydreamer, and property checks allowed me to dream about how my life could be better. The usual thing was if I hit the lottery, found an older female to spoil me, sold all of my possessions including my house, didn't have to be medicated, my heart condition disappeared and lived the rest of my life in a third-world country. I've done enough internet searches regarding decent third-world countries, many are non-extraditable, to probably earn myself a spot on some sort of watch list. As I was driving to the next building, my thought of relaxing on a beach in Bali, Indonesia, was rudely interrupted by a homeless man lying in the middle of a parking lot. I radioed Chester where I was and that I'd be doing a well-fare check on a man and would advise him further.

I hopped out of the car, and the man reeked of alcohol. I read the hospital Miranda Rights, "Do you need Emergency Medical Care or Psychiatric Care?" The response was a combination of every swear word in the American language, derogatory terms that did not fit my Caucasian skin complexion, and what I was hoping for "Fuck you, I don't need to see a doctor." My response was, "I can't have you lying in the street, so you have to find a better place to sleep off the booze." His intelligent response was, "Fuck you, rent a cop. I'll leave when the real police tell me to." The difficult route we went.

 I wrote a trespass form, got approval from Jester, and waited for the police. Officer Tiller arrived. Tiller was one of the good ones and told the man, "You need to leave, or you will get arrested for trespassing." He responded by standing up and saying, "Then arrest me, you pig." Accompanied by spitting on Officer Tiller. I thought "Shit, there goes my opportunity to ask Roxanne out tonight." Tiller went to place the man under arrest and the man elected to fight. I assisted Tiller with getting the man to the ground, in handcuffs and in the back of his patrol vehicle. I thanked Tiller and retreated to my office to crank out another report. By the time I was done, it was 5:45 AM, and time to go home.