He Speaks

When Ulfstead was six months old, he finally couldn't stand such an idle life. His nanny was a kind and good woman, but being sung lullabies and pretending to play with golden animal figurines all day was akin to torture at this point. Even at half a year, a baby's brain was like a sponge. If he continued pretending to know nothing, he was sure his soul and mind were going to grow mushrooms. It was best that he kick-started his career as a toddler soon so his precious brain didn't atrophy. He wasn't sure when real babies started talking but on one particularly boring evening, he decided to give it a try. 

With a tad bit too much excitement, his cheap father wanted to lay his son down early so he could visit his Harem. It seemed that the second princess's mother Concubine was really good at keeping his father's love. The three month period had passed and rather than letting the second princess run amok to piss off His Majesty again, she increased her daughter's confinement period to keep a long memory.

Then today, the second princess's mother took action, weeping lovely tears of regret and sorrow while delivering chilled grape juice to the Royal Study. Although she was not allowed to cross the threshold, the Old Chief Eunuch who miraculously 'found' a golden nugget in his sleeve described the scene as pitifully - but charmingly - apologetic. 

Even a top actress would have to applaud the woman for her skills.

Ulfstead was sure the novelty of having a son was slowly fading for the King. The hot-blooded man had abstained long enough from doing 'good deeds' because of his existence. Some servants secretly gossiped that the Prince's birth was a blessing for the country but a disaster for the Harem. If this went on and the King only stepped in the Harem once or twice a month, it was a wonder when his thousands - which actually ended up only being a few hundred according to real data - of beauties were going to see His Majesty again. Maybe by the time His Majesty remembered, the women would have sprouted a few fine lines and gray hair. Ulfstead really pitied these the King's wives. They had to go and marry with a pervert who liked to collect beauties similar to how his old neighbor liked to collect stamps. In this regard, his father was really disgusting.

Although he somewhat enjoyed having someone who cared for him, he wasn't a real child. Ulfstead didn't mind sharing his father at all. Sometimes, it was tiring pretending to not know anything when his father told him stories at night.

The King didn't have a creative bone in his body. So, instead of fairy tales, His Majesty disclosed a lot of 'true crime' stories and confidential information about his ministers that kept the baby up at night… Okay, well, that wasn't completely true, but if he weren't always so sleepy, Ulfstead was sure he'd stay awake. And so, under the guidance of his father's 'late-night' horror stories, Ulfstead received a lot of practice to cultivate his 'dumb and innocent' face. Therefore, letting his father go bother someone else every now and then was very much welcome. 

Anyways, back on topic. Today, Ulfstead didn't particularly care for his father's whims or the second princess's mother concubine's expectations. So, before His Majesty could continue the story about a certain minister keeping children in his basement for something Ulfstead didn't want to know about, he exclaimed his first word.

 "Ah!" 

Or at least tried to.

At the same time, a bit of drool leaked out from his mouth. His Majesty's brows furrowed in confusion. Pulling a kerchief from his tunic robes, he wiped the spit from the little prince's face. "What are you trying to babble on about?"

With a sigh, Ulfstead tried again. "Mmb-Ah! Mb-Ah!" He really didn't expect his tongue to be so useless! "Bbd-Ah!" With every attempt, he felt shameful. He really should have practiced more. Unfortunately, he had been pretty much under surveillance 24-hours a day and wasn't too sure how His Majesty would take it if his first words were spoken when he wasn't present.

Fortunately, the one-syllable only took only a dozen tries to get it right. Finally, the Prince exclaimed, "PA!"

The expression on the King's face was quite magnificent at that moment. He hadn't expected his son to give him such a big gift so soon. After a moment of surprise, the King sprung up from the bed and held his son up high. "What did you say? Say it again! Again!"

The young prince was jostled from the movement, but he tested out again, "PA! PA!" This time, an air bubble popped out, but the King didn't care. In excitement, he opened the door and called for the two eunuchs and guards standing outside the door. "You all! Come here! Hurry up!"

Setting his precious son down on the King's bed supported by a plethora of goose down pillows, he stood in line with the servants. Instinctively, the servants wanted to take a step back so as to not offend His Majesty, but the King ordered them to stay still and say nothing. No one knew what was going on, but the group waited patiently until…

"PA! PA!" Saying this, the Prince raised his tiny arms to the crazed looking King as if to emphasize the unspoken implication of, "Yeah, I'm speaking to you."

Seeing the prince say his first words, the servants all knelt in awe and praised, "Congratulations, Your Majesty! Congratulations, Your Highness!"

As a cheap father, His Majesty hadn't cared so meticulously for any of his children before. Most men in this time and space believed coddling children like this would take away their masculinity. So, whenever his wives always tried to show off their princesses' advantages each time a new 'skill' emerged and His Majesty only praised them a little bit. 

But this was the prince he had 'raised' with his own hands. For several months he had watched him grow from a little cocoon wrapped in silk thread to a tiny thing that could barely turn over. Now, his prince could speak! And even better, his first word was his name. 

Needless to say, the King did not visit his concubine's palace that night.