Chapter 3
The progress bar on his monitor screen shows a 94% completion status. On his chair, Eiharu’s gaze locked on that green bar despite his mind wandering around. With the clock ticking, his time to prepare something for his mother gets shorter if he keeps his butt latched on the comfort of his chair, but it doesn’t seem like he cares. He looks too calm, even. At least, outwardly.
Eiharu inhales, exhales, inhales again, and huffs in the end while letting his body slump deeper into his chair. He doesn’t want to move. He is tired and sleep-deprived, but he knows he can’t sleep immediately even if he buries himself under the blanket. When the fatigue reaches his soul, physical rest does nothing to alleviate that. For years, he has dealt with it and still has no idea how to improve himself.
[Are you done?]
A pop-up message appears at the corner of his monitor. His gaze shifts to that message, yet he doesn’t move a muscle, letting it disappear after a few seconds. On the other hand, the progress bar slightly moves to 95% of completion. Uploading progress always takes a long, long time. At times, Eiharu got so impatient and he glared at the bar, hoping it would move faster. Another time, he sits there like an old log as if he has all the time in the world, like right now.
[Ei, are you asleep?]
Another pop-up message. Eiharu keeps ignoring it.
[Don’t ignore me. I know you read my chat, hey]
[Don’t sleep before you turn it over]
[Sen would chew my head off if she knew]
[Eeeeeeiiiii, answer meeeeeeeee]
[I’ll spam your chat box if you don’t reply even once]
[Baldy, say something]
Eiharu frowns, but he remains still. Aside from being too lazy to reply to that message, he wants to let his computer focus on one task. He doesn’t want it to freeze the middle way and that nearly 100% progress disappears into thin air. So he reaches for his phone and tap that one name he often texts to.
[Shut it. I’m still uploading]
The reply comes faster than Eiharu tries to close the chat app.
[How much longer?]
[Dunno. 5% left]
[Okay, inform me as soon as it’s done]
[Can’t. I have to cook]
The other person replies with a crying sticker. Eiharu ignores it, puts his phone away, and then unwillingly gets up from his seat. He notices his phone is vibrating silently on the table, with more messages coming in, which he will keep ignoring. He glances at the screen for the last time to ensure it’s still working before leaving his room and walking downstairs to the kitchen.
When he thinks about the physical work he has to do in the kitchen, he often wants to refuse his mother’s requests. He loves cooking; it comes as a surprise to him as well, but he dislikes being told to cook. He will do it when he wants to and will make it for others if he wants to. Just because he loves it doesn’t mean he wants to do it every time or make a profit out of it. His mother, however, has a different idea. She thinks he has to exploit his own skill to make easy money. There is no easy money; no work is ever easy. His mother has worked as a nurse since she was young, so she should know that. But it’s futile. Whatever he says, she only finds a way to retort. Soon enough, Eiharu gets tired of trying to say anything.
While rummaging through whatever exists in the fridge, Eiharu ponders why he loves working in the kitchen. The activity demands him to move around and make a mess. The aftermath of a single meal will take a lot of wares, and he dislikes cleaning them up. As someone who despises physical exercise in general, this is the most he is willing to do. But there is another reason why he tries to avoid using his hands alone.
-When my head doesn’t think, I tend to recall a lot of things-
Not just once or twice, he reminds himself of his brain just being mean. He isn’t as bad as he thinks and there is proof. But there is a difference between knowing and believing. He has had awful experiences since he was young regarding people, the piling guilt he felt for being such a failed son, his inability to act like a proper adult, and all the evil thoughts swirling freely whenever his hands were busy preparing the food his mother loves to have.
Still, he loves doing this.
Eiharu watches his creation beautifully placed in the box. The tasty smell is droll-worthy; knowing this comes from his hand gives him a sense of comfort. This is physical proof that he isn’t always a burden. People out there are willing to pay to taste his cooking. But will he pursue this as a career? Hell, no. He doesn’t want to keep having his brain beating his self-esteem.
With a sigh, he looks at the clock. It only took him fifteen minutes to prepare such a simple lunch. Now he only needs to text the usual delivery guy. Yet somehow, despite his exhaustion, he wants to get some fresh air. It’s unusual, but even he will get suffocated staying inside his room for days working. He is tired, but perhaps walking to the hospital back and forth will finally put him to sleep.
Unfortunately, when he arrived at the reception, his mother couldn’t get the meal from him directly. Eiharu is tired, so he gets snarky easily. His mother is prone to urge him to do things, so he gets annoyed when she is momentarily unavailable even to see him. It’s not like he doesn’t understand how a hospital work; patients come and go with no specific timetable, after all. But it doesn’t mean he will never be upset.
“I’ll keep it here, Seishichi-kun.” The receptionist smiles. She is already familiar with Eiharu’s existence. “I think your mother is still catering to a patient.”
He doesn’t say anything to the receptionist and hands the bag. After filling out the guest book, Eiharu left the hospital without a second glance nor thought. His annoyance adds more to his fatigue; all he needs right now is good sleep. He’s unsure he can get good sleep, though. Long sleep, probably. Good or not, he is skeptical.
Halfway back home, Eiharu’s phone vibrates in his pocket.
[Ei, is it done?? Sen is almost returned!!]
Come to think of it, he didn’t check whether his computer completed the uploading process. His coworker is surely panicking since he says nothing despite almost half an hour passed since.
[I didn’t check]
[Go take a look, damn it!]
[I’m not home yet. Delivery]
[Why didn’t you check before you left?? What if it failed??]
Eiharu purses his lips. This coworker of his, Eiharu only met the other guy around two or three times ever since he became a part of this start-up company. He is the opposite of Eiharu; cheerful, bright, a mood-maker, and exceptionally beautiful as a guy. Thus, Eiharu tries to minimize their contact. All the communication they did solely in the form of video calls or massive text, mostly that person’s. Yet strangely enough, this person hasn’t considered him annoying, unlike the others he has worked with so far.
[I’m almost home. Wait]
Before he can see what his coworker says, a call from his mother surprises him. No matter how many times, an unknown call always makes him jumpy inside. His heartbeat is running.
“Yes?”
‘Mom just done with work. Are you home already?’
“About to.” The previous irritation he felt immediately returned. “You told me to hurry up, but you can’t even see me.”
‘Sorry, okay. Mom had to tend to a patient.’ Unlike how she rushes him this morning, her tone softens a lot. Eiharu can’t find himself getting angry. ‘Have you eaten yet, Eiharu?’
“...no.”
‘You made your own portion at least, right?’
“Mm.” He didn’t, but she didn’t need to know that. “I’m still on the way.”
‘Okay, then. Be careful. Have lunch, then get some sleep. Bye.’
Eiharu doesn’t respond; he just hangs up immediately. His mother’s gentle words make him guilty for being so snarky. He could have reacted nicer, but he kept on with his rude tone instead. In his defense, he takes it after her. Because that’s how his parents talked to him since he was young, so he picked up their habit. But his mother tries to change, and he knows that. What about him?
-I’m still like this-
Eiharu inhales deeply.
-I’m still… like this. I never change-
=====
“Ha.Ka.Ru.”
“I’m sorryyyyyy! Look, I was sooooo close to the deadline, but I didn’t cross it. Safe! Safe!”
Senri glares at this uncalled beauty literally bowing on the floor. The one in question is doing a dogeza to beg forgiveness, but Senri has been too lenient to let it pass.
“What’s your excuse this time?”
“It’s Ei! He was the one giving me the final product so late!”
Senri frowns. “What does Seishichi have anything to do with you? He’s just the designer.”
“Yeah, but what am I supposed to write if I dunno what the final product looks like??”
“You can ask for a mockup??”
As if he had received enlightenment, Hakaru’s eyes widened in realization.
“Oh… right, why didn’t I think of it?”
“This dumbass!”
“I’m sorryyyyy! Look, the client said nothing, so it’s fine. They don’t have any issue with the final output either. Can we put this aside, please??”
“You… Urgh, fine! If you pull this shit again, I’ll pull your hair bald.”
Hakaru instinctively covers his head. “Not my hair!”
Senri waves her hand and leaves Hakaru’s cubicle. After the boss lady disappears, Hakaru puts down his arms and sighs tiredly. He turns his chair around, noticing the corner of his computer screen shows the camera is still on. He forgot he was on a webcam with Eiharu when Senri suddenly entered his cubicle. Eiharu surely witnessed how he was severely scolded.
“...don’t you want to say anything?”
Through the video screen, Eiharu raises an eyebrow. Since he has been resting his chin on his palm, his languid expression seems to be openly mocking Hakaru.
‘I can’t wait to see you go bald.’
Okay, he really is mocking Hakaru.
“At least try to cover me??”
‘But she was right. You could ask for a mockup if you need it.’
“I didn’t think about it, okay?? I was panicking! And why didn’t you offer me??”
Eiharu nonchalantly shrugs. ‘Didn’t think you needed it.’
“Is that how you treat your benefactor?!”
‘Well… at least she didn’t shave you bald this time.’
“Ugh, I’m worried about the future of my hair….”
Eiharu watches Hakaru growling, mumbling, and whining apathetically. It’s common to see Hakaru bicker one-sidedly with the boss lady. One-sidedly because in the end, Senri was always right. Hakaru is a bit dumb at times, especially when he is panicking.
‘You… don’t think of anything when she scolds you that way?’
Hakaru raises his head. “What?”
‘I mean… I thought she would be more lenient towards you since you two are… you know….’
“Dating, you mean?”
Eiharu hesitates, but he nods.
“I’m lying if I said I want her to take pity on me at times, but we’re at work. She’s still my employer. The employee’s mistake will be badly reflected on the boss, you know? So it’s natural if she’s strict.”
‘You… surprisingly said good stuff.’
“Hey, I’m not always dumb! Well, I’m not as smart as my brother, but I’m not dumb either!”
‘Okay, okay. Whatever you say.’ Eiharu yawns. ‘I’m tired. Good night.’
“Hey, how about we meet up? We just finished a big order.”
‘No, thanks.’
“You always say no. We need to bond for a better working relationship.”
‘Maybe later when I feel like it. Bye’
“Wait, Ei--”
But Eiharu had already logged off. Hakaru purses his lips and shrugs his shoulders. It’s the nth time Eiharu rejects his invitation to hang out. The other workers told him to stop, but Hakaru didn’t like it. He’s aware of the overall situation, so he understands if Eiharu refuses to socialize. Still, he thinks Eiharu needs to leave his room more often. Since Eiharu joined the company around three years ago, Hakaru hasn’t given up trying to take Eiharu out, to no avail.
“Oh, well. There will always be next time.” He takes out his phone and taps a number. After a few beeps, the other line finally picked up. “Brother, can I spend the night today?”
‘Today?’ A gentle voice from the other line is the opposite of Hakaru’s cheerful tone. ‘I don’t think I can return tonight. I left the key at the usual place.’
“Sweet! Alright, then… I won’t bother you any further, Doctor Yukisada Kanryou. Thank you very much for your generosity.”
‘What’s that?’ Kanryou chuckles. ‘Bring your own food, and don’t make a mess.’
“Yes, Sir~.”
As Hakaru hangs up the phone, he remembers something.
“Oh, right. I should take Ei to brother’s apartment someday. I think they will become good friends.”