Chapter 9

“Eiharu seems upset. Did something happen?”

“What?” Haruna follows Mutsuo’s line of sight, wondering why the older man needs to whisper this close. “Isn’t he always like that?”

“Well… I don’t know. I feel like there is something different.”

“Oh… maybe because I told him about Yukisada-kun.”

“What about him?”

“You remember about letting them become friends?” Haruna back-facing Eiharu again to continue her work in the sink. “I told him to stay around when he delivers the Monday lunchboxes so he and Yukisada-kun can meet.”

“He agreed?”

“Not immediately, of course. He interrogated me first, thinking I told Yukisada-kun funny stories, that kid.” Haruna grumbles. “Even though I did this for him. He’s almost thirty years old and doesn’t even have friends, let alone a girlfriend.” She halts. “...or boyfriend.”

Mutsuo raises an eyebrow. “I know we who came up with the idea, but I didn’t think you would tell him.”

“What choice do I have now? I don’t want him to spend his old days like this.” Haruna sighs tiredly. “He’s not young anymore, Mutsuo-san. I can’t always be there for him. When I die, who can take care of that kid? He doesn’t have friends, or lovers, or mingle with relatives. If I let him live alone, I’m not surprised if the police found his rotten body in this house.”

“Hey, don’t say that.” Mutsuo gently rubs her back. “I’m sure he is capable. Or else, he won’t be able to take care of the house while you’re busy working for the both of you.” Mutsuo smiles. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Haru. And you shouldn’t judge him that harshly either.”

Haruna stops working and turns around to face Mutsuo. For years, she worked hard to provide for her family, and never once had she heard such a thing said so sincerely. Her ex-husband was a failure who didn’t even bother to be the man of the house. Eiharu was too little to understand the crack in his parent’s relationship, so she had to be the tough one for him. She endured everything alone and shouldered everything alone before she decided to have a divorce. The long battle in court tired her. Not to mention, everyone else, including their relatives, was against it. They thought her ex-husband was this kind man despite not being strong enough to provide. But only Haruna knows the truth about what kind of man he was.

Thus, Haruna persisted. She had already experienced the horror in her marriage. She didn’t want Eiharu to grow up knowing what kind of bastard his father was. Eiharu needed her. Haruna couldn’t let Eiharu go with his father, never. She wasn’t a good mother, but she knew leaving Eiharu with her ex-husband was the worst option.

What she didn’t know, Eiharu had long been aware of his father’s failure. Little Eiharu knew she suffered, so he didn’t want to trouble her and kept everything inside. They have been trying to protect each other in silence, thinking what they did was for the best. Unfortunately, their poor communication was also the thing that destroyed their relationship.

“Mutsuo-san, you…” She inhales, “I’m glad you think of him highly. You even treat him better than me. I feel ashamed.”

“You shouldn’t. You two just need to talk more. He isn’t a kid anymore, Haru. I’m sure he understands how much you struggle. But you also need to listen to him. Don’t try to retort, just listen.”

“It’s hard, but I’ll try.”

“It will take time, don’t get discouraged.”

“Mm, thank you.” Haruna glances at Eiharu again. “Shall I… cancel the plan, then? I also don’t want him to give a bad impression to Yukisada-kun.”

Mutsuo looks at Eiharu as well. “How about… I talk to him first?”

“Can you?”

“I was the one who suggested it, so I need to be responsible.” Mutsuo pats her shoulder. “Whatever he decides after that, we can only accept it. But let’s hear about his thoughts first.”

“Okay, then. I leave it to you.”

Even when they were done having lunch, Eiharu still looked gloomy. Mutsuo only chatted with Haruna as usual, letting Eiharu busy with his thoughts. Since Eiharu isn’t the type to talk, especially while eating, letting him do whatever he wants is the best option in Mutsuo’s mind. Besides, Eiharu is attentive. He is still listening even if he isn’t looking.

After lunch, just before Eiharu was about to retire to his room, Mutsuo stopped him.

“Accompany me in a bit.” Mutsuo raises a glass of juice he made. “Your mother kicked me out of the kitchen.”

Eiharu involuntarily glances towards Haruna in the kitchen, who seems busy dealing with many things. Sounds suspicious, but he isn’t that rude to refuse, so he follows the older man to the front porch.

They don’t speak for a moment, and Eiharu wonders what things Mutsuo wants to discuss. Since Eiharu’s brain is mean by default, it’s hard for him not to overthink. His mind tries to recall awful things he did by accident; was he being rude? Did he ever upset Mutsuo unknowingly? Did his mother tell the man something and think badly of him?

“Your mother…” Mutsuo’s voice snaps Eiharu back from his wandering thoughts, “she told me about Monday.”

“Monday?”

“About meeting a friend.”

“Oh…” Of course, Eiharu doesn’t forget. But it didn’t occur immediately since he had been busy trying to distract his mind. “I already said yes.”

“Mm, she told me that. But I want to know what you think about it.”

Eiharu gives him a look. “I don’t want to go.”

“Because?”

“Because…”

-Can I say I’m scared if that person thinks badly of me?-

“Because…” Eiharu inhales, “I just don’t feel like it.”

Mutsuo glances at him. Eiharu is a good liar, but he still has a specific tendency. Rather than lying, he prefers not to tell the whole truth, so when someone confronts him in the future, he can still protect himself by saying he wasn’t lying.

“Your mother means well, but I know that her ways of doing so are always rough and demanding. She knows that, too. But… if you’re uncomfortable, you don’t have to force yourself.”

“If I don’t say yes, she will keep trying until I do. I’m saving our energy from useless bickers.”

“Do you think she did something useless? About this plan, I mean. Not the bicker.”

Eiharu fell silent. He understands her intention, but his brain still refuses to do it. When was the last time he met someone new? No matter how much he puts himself there, he isn’t used to dealing with unfamiliar situations. Meeting new people, new working environment, and everything related, he can’t stand it. It terrifies him.

“I know she means well,” Eiharu answers in a low tone, “I also know that sooner or later I will have to face it.”

“Do you think you’re not ready yet?”

“I will never be ready. I have to force myself and… feel it.”

“I only met this person a few times myself, so I can’t say whether he is as good as your mother described. However, I can promise you that I will protect you if he did something awful.”

Eiharu turns his head. “Uh… I know it’s not dangerous, at least.”

“Oh, I’m not talking about that.” Mutsuo laughs heartily. “What I mean is, if he causes you extreme discomfort and you feel at a loss, come to me. I will tell him off.”

“Won’t you be in trouble?”

“I don’t know. But I don’t want you to feel negative because of what strangers say and do to you.”

“But he is Mom’s coworker. He isn’t a stranger.”

“For her, yes. For you, he is a stranger.”

Eiharu blinks once, twice, before letting out an inaudible, confused hum. He knows Mutsuo is a teddy bear at heart. He can tell how gentle he is when he’s around his mother. While towards Eiharu, Mutsuo openly shows his friendliness while keeping a safe distance, so this is his very first time actually receiving the kindness he thought only reserved for his mother. It feels strange but, at the same time, comforting. It tickles his heart.

“Thank… you.”

“It’s nothing.” Mutsuo reaches out to gently mess with Eiharu’s unkempt hair. “Oh--! I’m sorry. I did this a lot with the children in the ward, so…”

“... it’s fine.” Eiharu hungs his head low. “If there’s nothing else, I… want to return to my room.”

“Sure.”

Eiharu rushes to his room and sits on the floor, leaning on the door. He unconsciously touches the spot Mutsuo just messed with. How strange to feel happy with the childish affection when he is already this old. As far as he remembers, he never had this kind of affection from his father. The man was rather avoidant with him, scowling, telling him he misbehaved, so Eiharu stopped getting close in return. He doesn’t have any good memories of his father, so he is always awkward around Mutsuo as he doesn’t know how to act properly. Yet, over the years, Mutsuo patiently waits until Eiharu gets used to his presence.

-He is a good man-

Eiharu involuntarily smiles. He rarely did, so it’s a good sign.

=====

So far, the only good news Kanryou has received in the last few days is the recovery of his patients and Haruna’s son’s willingness to meet him. The rest, not really. At the very least, he is still trying to be civil in front of a certain someone who, despite his tight schedule, is still coming to the hospital.

“Still no change, eh?”

The one in question, already standing next to Kanryou, always comes in silence and suddenly speaks to announce his arrival. The first time he did, Kanryou was visibly surprised. But now, not anymore.

“Despite the fact he hasn’t regained consciousness, Sir Raizou’s recovery speed is quite amazing.” Kanryou tries to be as technical as possible as he taps the medical report. “When his condition improves more, I will try to scan his brain. Since he had a concussion, it’s natural if his brain was affected.”

“I see. In that case, I leave everything in your hand.”

“If there is nothing else, I will excuse myself.”

“You are always in a hurry, Yukisada-kun. Are you that busy?”

“Well, he isn’t my only patient.”

“You’re so diligent. Can’t even spare me a minute to chat?”

Kanryou sighs, closes the medical report in his hand, and turns around to face the man. “Is there anything else, Yuzawa-san?”

Toshiya is still wearing that polite and charming smile. No matter how coldly Kanryou treats him, Toshiya remains the same. Yet, there is something in his words that rejects Kanryou’s dismissiveness. They don’t talk aside from technical stuff regarding the patient’s condition. Still, the more they talk, the more Kanryou is aware that Toshiya is trying to talk about something else.

“Shall we go somewhere else?”

“No need. As long as it’s not something the patient shouldn’t hear, we can freely talk here.”

Toshiya raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

Kanryou involuntarily squints, but he sighs again. “...follow me.”

Toshiya hums and follows Kanryou to his office. All the way, they don’t speak a single word, and Kanryou clearly draws a line between them. As soon as they entered the clean and empty office, Kanryou locked the door behind him and crossed his arms, putting down all the polite facade he put on outside the door.

“What do you want?”

His tone is evidently cold and malicious; he no longer hides his distaste towards Toshiya.

“Is that how you treat an old acquaintance?”

“First, I don’t remember ever being acquainted with you. Second, I have no reason to be friendly towards you more than necessary. Third, I never liked your existence from the beginning, so my being professional is the most you can receive.”

Toshiya openly laughs. “My, my, how some people never changed despite a decade has passed.” He allows himself to sit on the sofa. “I’m glad you still remember me.”

“I didn’t. You made me.”

“And still as poisonous.”

“Don’t use me as a mirror.” Kanryou crosses his legs as well, looking uninterested. “I don’t want to hear you say you missed me.”

“As a matter of fact, I do. The little banters we had in the past feel like a distant memory now. After all, it was so long ago.” Toshiya chuckles. “I’m glad to see you live so well, Yukisada-kun. You made a place for yourself in this world as I always believed you would. Congratulation.”

“I don’t need it. Rather, I don’t want to hear it from your mouth.” Kanryou checks his wristwatch. “Make it fast.”

“Alright, alright. Since you are so busy, I surely don’t want to take too much of your time.” Toshiya smiles as he rests his chin on the back of his hand. “I am wondering if you and that person are still in touch.”

“...who?”

“Oh, you forgot about him? The one who kept cowering in the corner and waited for you to save him.”

Kanryou frowns. Toshiya tends to speak in roundabout ways while throwing pleasantries. His nearly perfected choice of words easily throws whoever is listening. The hint Toshiya just said barely awakened his memory, so he didn’t immediately recall that person Toshiya just mentioned.

“Who were you--”

Kanryou halts. He remembers now, not the face or the overall appearance, but rather the existence. The only person who faintly remains in the corner of his memory bank aside from Toshiya. That person is also the reason why Kanryou harbors deep hatred towards Toshiya.

“...it’s been so long. How come do you still remember him?”

“There is no way I can forget. After all, you two…” Toshiya’s words trail as he makes vague gestures in the air, “but if you aren’t in touch with him, then I guess you still don’t believe what I said that time.”

-“Don’t you know, Yukisada-kun? He likes you.”-

Ah, Kanryou doesn’t want to remember that, but Toshiya successfully leads his brain to dig into that memory. The event that vaguely stays in his mind was something he prefer to forget. It’s because he doesn’t want to remember the rest of it, the thing that happened after.

“Oops, look at the time.” Toshiya stands. “Unfortunately, I have to return immediately. Let’s catch up another time, Yukisada-kun.”

Kanryou unlocks the door and lets Toshiya walk past him. But Toshiya stops as his hand touches the doorknob.

“When the time comes, let’s talk about that person, shall we? After all, it’s all thanks to him that we met.”

“I don’t even want to see you any more than this. Don’t think I will let you badmouth him as you did in the past.”

“You did nothing back then.”

“I did, but it wasn’t enough. This time… even if he isn’t around, I won’t stay silent anymore.”

Toshiya looks at him. The smile is no longer plastered on Toshiya’s face, and he openly observes Kanryou’s expression. But it only lasts for a few seconds before that charming smile returns.

“No wonder he treated you like a knight in shining armor. You truly are. How envious.”

“Envious?” Kanryou snorts. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“I’m telling the truth. I envy him. All he needed to do was look so helpless, and you would come to his rescue.”

“Get out already. Hearing you makes me sick.”

Toshiya stifled a laugh, but he really left this time. Kanryou walks to his chair and slumps down, sighing tiredly. He massages his nose bridge as he thinks about a way not to meet Toshiya again.

“I better make an excuse to tell Yonehara-san…” He grumbles, and his mind wanders. “That person… I wish for him to live well wherever he is and never meet this bastard ever again…”