Three Unimportant Stooges

Under a old bridge in the upper west section of Sammedi, Three men walked on slowly to their accursed destination. They were failures in every sense of the word. It was getting late, the sky beginning to fade away into the enticing darkness. These three stooges were locked in the jailhouse for a good portion of the afternoon. Once the masked man of the group explained who they were and who they worked for, they were free to go. The underpaid local guardsmen didn't want to deal with the bullshit that would come their way if the boss of the three find out. The skies turned a dark gray, the air around them cool as they continued on their hellish path.

Every three minutes or so the bald man cursed, to the point it was getting extremely grating to his team. The one who got stabbed was fuming, looking like he was about two snaps from going off. The masked man hung back, sighing for his mostly wasted life and potential, he wanted to be an artist. What happened to him?

"Goddamnit." The leader said for the 40th time, constantly cracking his knuckles.

The masked man sighed and stayed in the back, not wanting to diffuse another fight between the two.

"LOOK, WE GET IT, YOU'RE PISSED OFF, WE ALL PISSED OFF, CONSIDERING I'M THE ONE WHO GOT STABBED! I SHOULD BE WHINING LIKE A BITCH WHEN THEY GET CALLED A BITCH! BUT I'M NOT, I'VE ACCEPTED THAT WE ARE GOING TO DIE ONCE WE TELL THE BOSS WHY WE DON'T HAVE HIS MONEY. BUT I'M TIRED OF HEARING FUCK, SHIT, GODDAMNIT EVERY FIVE MINUTES! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP RADAM!" Klon shouted at the bald man. the vein fully visible in his neck, his face red like the blood on his shirt. His once neat combed black hair now frazzled. His green eyes stared a hole in their leader.

"What the fuck you going to do if i don't Klon? Radam said calmly as he stopped and turned to his second in command. Klon took a step forward, looking like he wanted to kill Radam. The masked man step in between them, he didn't know why he deluded himself into thinking that he wasn't going to break up a fight between these two. They were his only family at this point. It's sad, he knows.

"Fellas, we're dead either way, let just get to the base, before the boss takes our testicles, cook em in oil, then feed it to us." The masked man known as Nazolo suggested. The two look at him and calmed down just a little bit. Nazolo was right, they were dead either way, why waste the remaining time they have being angry at each other?

They all moved along, not speaking a word to each other.

Nazolo broke the silence.

"Do you guys wanna sing a song?" He asked hopefully.

"Fuck no" Radam and Klon said in sing-song.

"Fine, Gods forbid you indulge me for five seconds." Nazolo replied angrily.

"We just sang fuck no, how was that not indulging you? Shit, you should be happy you got that, even." Klon said as they slowed their walk a little bit.

They were really close to the secret entrance of their boss's hideout. They wanted to take their sweet time getting there because when you going to get testicles chopped off and fed to you while everyone else watches, do you really need to be in a rush?

...........

The three sat on their knees, bowing before their boss. All of them were completely drenched in sweat. The smell of pinewood and lavender wafted through the air. They knelt on velvet carpeting, their eyes on the ground. They were in his room usually used for business meetings between other organizations. The room was lit up by lanterns lined across the walls powered by magic, the purple flames gave an intimidating aura to Their boss who sat in a chair far from them, it was dead silent despite there being twenty other of their comrades in the room. Some mages, other Orcs, Succubuses , Dalisk, or the Dark Elves as they are known by many, and some human just like the three who had to explain their failure.

"Come up, Radam." The deep, menacing voice that could send chills even through the most hardened warrior said. Radam broke out in a sweat and the other two silently wished him good luck. Radam walked forward, each step he took slowly because he knew he was taking his last.

"So...what happened." The boss said, there was no trace of impatient or anger in his voice.

This terrified Everyone in the room. The female elf who was playing with her ice-enchanted knife started to back up a little bit. The two golems started to look towards the door, not wanting to be in the general area of The Boss right now. The twin succubuses held on to each other, both averting their eyes.

Radam swallowed.

"Well, it was supposed to be a routine run, that shopkeeper who owes you money for..."

"I gave him a loan in order to run his shop, he was about a day late, so i sent you three to see what the problem was." The boss said finishing Radam speech. Radam nodded.

"And then, out of nowhere we were attacked by a demi-god-" Radam was cut off by the boss raising his metallic finger.

"I assume it was the son of Myraniss, Goddess of Time correct?" The boss said as Radam nodded. Klon and Nazolo looked at each other, both scared shitless by the boss's calm demeanor.

"And I can piece together the rest from there, he was faster, he defeated and made you three look like children, then thanks to my influence, you three are before me now." The Boss finishes.

Radam nodded again. He felt his life flash before his eyes when the boss placed his metal hand on his head and lifted him up with ease like he was a pillow. His two partners turned their heads, not wanting to watch.

"It's lucky for you three, that I'm in a good mood tonight, you see my wife is going to be performing tonight at HoneyDogs, I'm sure you heard of it. I would find it...distasteful and disrespectful to eliminate someone during my wife's big night." He continued as he lifted Radam higher, and in an effortless moment that you can miss if you blinked, He wrapped his huge metal hand around Radam's throat.

"I think there is a chance of redemption for you three, mistakes do often happen and i can be a very generous boss, wouldn't you agree?" The Boss said as Radam made a yelping noise that basically said yes. Nazolo and Klon looked at each other, they were feeling a little hopeful that they could get out of this with their lives.

"What do you think, my dear?" The Boss asked the woman who was walking up, surveying the situation with a smile on her face like one would a movie.

"Oh honey, I think they learned their lessons, so how about you give them a second chance?" A sweet, sultry voice said, like imagine if pure honey had an audible form. The Boss looked at his love and inspiration, his muse, his motivation. She and their daughter keep pushing him to do greater and that is just what he plans to do.

"It seems my wife is giving you three a second chance, do not waste it." The boss said as he dropped Radam to the ground. The other two sighed with relief, glad their lives were going to continue as long as they don't fuck up again.

"Well, i need to go, that Demi-god is going to be introducing me." She said as she fluffed her long black hair. This caught the boss and the three failures' attention. There were only two Demi-Gods that they knew of. One was the son of Krania, Goddess of War. And the other was the son of the Goddess of Time. The man who beat the three that stood before him. And the one Demi-God he needs the blood of.

"Swano, my dear, please have a fantastic time and blow them away with your performance." The boss said as she walked up and he bent down to kiss her. Everyone in the room could tell how much they love each other, hell they made love right there in front of them one time, in which everyone tried to excuse themselves but Swano wanted them to stay and watch. She wanted to show them what true love is.

The boss got up, he motioned the three failures to follow him and Swano. Swano kissed him passionately. She was the fire that kept him warm in the middle of winter. Radam shifted his feet awkwardly. He was very happy right now, he got to live another day and so did his friends. He looked over to the two behind him. Klon was looking at the passionate display of love going on right in front of him. Nazolo looked like he was on the verge of passing out.

A sharp sound brought Radam's attention back to the forefront. There was a red and black portal in front of the two lovers. Swano delicately stepped through it and the portal closed in the time it takes one to breathe.

"Radam, Nazolo, Klon." The boss said their names, which caused them to stand up straight, all of them about to have heart attacks. Maybe the boss reconsidered his generosity.

It surprised them, when he opened up another portal with a snap of his fingers.

"Kelias, step through the portal and await further instructions." He asked of the elven assassin as she nods and places her ice-enchanted dagger in her holster and walked through the portal without hesitation.

The Boss turned to the bumbling trio.

"This is your chance to find redemption, follow me. I would like to meet this Zylon." The boss said happily as he went through the portal. Radam stood there dumbly until he saw his other two comrades rush into the portal. breaking him out of his stupor and following them.