Cleaning up my things in the tend, my hands come to meet two particular objects... A silver hair ribbon and a Panda statuette, I stop midway to take both in hands -It feels like decades ago... To think it hasn't been a full year yet...- passing my hands over the sewed words, I recall the night it was gifted to me... Xiao almost threw it on me, all flushed up and yelling me to be back in one piece. Hua and Wei were both crying as the other men tried to comfort them, my brother was there too, with his concerned expression...
The little Panda is a more joyful item, even if it still brings quite some annoyance. That night everyone was having fun, the smiles of my friends appears very vividly in my mind and the sound of their laughs echoing with the music of the festival... We ate togheter, watched performers and danced like beggars on the streets. There were many fun games too... That night I thought I saw Chao again and lost him right after... That night i found out about Hua and Pei's relationship... That night everyone forgot the previous sadness and came togheter to feast... Even I managed to relax that day.
At New Year Eve the whole Capital feasted even more and everyone drank and laughed with full heart... While I can't even remember when such feast happened, was I travelling or was I already here at the Cai Armada? For how much I do not want a typical woman's life, I too cannot help but long for those happy days and that's excatly why I am here right now... Fighting to earn more of those.
Hearing steps approaching I turn my head to the entrance, Qin Luo's voice reaches my ears but one more voice accompanies it.
Dong Hu smiles wickedly as he enters the tend after The General -Oh Lai'Er, right on time. This man said to be coming from...-
-I know him too well, sadly- I sigh with a small roll of the eyes
-Am I seeing that right, Miss Ying?- Dong comes forward and takes the statuette from my hand -It's been almost an year, I cannot believe you took this with you-
-Is it so bad to like something? Especially if it brings back good memories?-
-Good memories uh?- he smirks, gaining a confused stare from Qin Luo -This was something I gifted her while we were in town for the Qixi Festival- he explains at the end, making Qin Luo even more confused.
I suck breath in for a moment at the happy smirk of one man and the jealousy of the other -How come you always chose the less suitable words whenever you open that mouth of yours? You almost make it sound as if we were out having fun togheter... Truth is, is that I was playing a game with some friends but you came and won the statuette before me. Later on you simply gave it to me as both an apology and a respite, because in your mind we are rivals-
He smiles pleased -You know how much I love to always be somekind of mysterious with my words, that's just how I am... To think I once had a special place in your interest rank, yet dropped only because of that sharp tongued dancer-
Qin Luo looks at me with a knotted eyebrow
-What happened to him? I thought you guys were very close and yet I never saw him around the palace after the Prince's Marriage-
"To touch such a topic in front of Qin Luo... How does he even know about his sensitive spot?!"
-Of course we had to be close, for the sake of the performance... I wanted it to be perfect and so did he, we simply helped eachother being the main characters. He wanted and needed that job and, thanks to such an "heart warming" dance, he got an important role in a famous company... While on the other hand, I wanted to leave a good impression on all the Nobles and Royals attending the Party-
-You surely did leave quite the impression with that Kiss! To do such a thing at someone's wedding ah... In front of the Royal Family even! You are a wild one. But allow me to ask, was it truly not in the choreography as they said? Voices were that you guys came up with that-
I cleanch my teeth trying not to show any sign of anger -Never doubt what peoples can do to achieve what they want. Some kill and some sell their bodies, what is a mere stage kiss compared to all of that?- I lie -Well then, if u want me to be more honest... It wasn't a pleasure at all talking with you, now I have to go and arrange a few things for tomorrow- I nod leaving the tend
-Wait Lai'Er it's already night...!- tries to call Qin Luo with no success -Ah, nevermind... Anyway, As the letter said you come from her same Sect so you must know my brother right?-
-I surely do Sir- smiles him
...
Once I finally see Dong leave the tend, it's already quite late...
I come back inside finding Qin Luo seated down, with a bottle of wine in hand and his eyes shut... One fist clenched tight over the table and a frustrated grin. I look outside, making sure that Dong isn't sticking around before coming forward... Qin Luo is trembling, but still trying to hide it... Something must have happened.
I kneel down and reach out to his free hand, making him gasps upon realizing my presence -L Lai'Er... I... I...- his mind 8s clearly a mess -I don't know what to do anymore...- he murmurs coming to hug me tight, small hiccups leaving him as he begins to cry softly. I stroke his hair gently, wanting to calm him down but instead he grips on my clothes, burying his face on my neck -My... Brother... He disappeared-
"Xiao... Disappeared?!"
-What do you mean...?- I almost studder for the surprise
-He received a letter, they say... After reading it, he run away and never came back-
-Could he have gone back home?-
Qin Luo shakes his head -No one knows where he is. Along with that man's references there was a second letter, my family... They sent men to search all over the Capital and other cities but... Nothing-
I let him go and seat down on my heels before him -Xiao... He could be hiding, maybe he was afriad to be sent to War... He's really good at it, almost like a shadow he...-
-Nonsense- he puts the bottle back on the table, while talking -He might be good at hiding yes, but he's still a young boy. If not even trained men could find him, then he must be...-
-Nothing is for sure, Qin Luo...- I reach to take both his hands into mines
-Stop being like this... Lai'Er...- in his eyes a thousands of emotions spins around: Sadness, love, desperation, worry...
-But...-
-If you keep looking at me like that, I won't be able to hold back being so drunk and broken...- he whispers lowering himself over me, cupping my face as if wanting more comfort... Before straightening back up on the chair with a low sigh -I need to accept the fact that my whole life is a failure- he shrugs my hands away and stand back up -Goodnight-
I rise up behind him -Things have been hard for you, but you're not a failure, there's difference between the two-
-I said Good Night, Lai'Er- he replies with an harsh tone and tucks into his bed