Seating down after another session of early training I hug my keels to chest sighing... I lower my head, almost feeling pressure over my neck which pushes me down, one light after another the place gets enlightened.
-Oh... It's been a while- I look at the red light creatures with my chin resting on my arms -If you're all here, surely that other creature is nearby...- one small creature come to rest on my knee, caressing my skin in a comforting manner -I'm fine don't worry little one, I'm just tired. And now very concerned too... Last time that shadow appeared, something terrible was happening... We just received news of the Emperor's death, so that thing was really trying to warn me- I open my arms and take the little red creature in my hands -Just tell me what's happening now so I can avoid it- But of course the creature can't speak, it just stare at me with sad eyes... He wants to help but can't.
-Does that shadow control you?- the little one looks troubled but at the end nods, for how much such a weird thing can nod -Are you friends or foes tho? Your owner honestly looks straight out of the deepest part of the Underworld. Not like that means much nowdays...- The little one does not give me a reply and just pats on my thumb -Anyway, I should get back to the Camp now... The day is about to start- the little creature rises up in the sky and leave?
Steps comes from behind, very soft ones...
-I know you heard me coming- says Xu Lei approaching
-I thought that if I were to ignore you, you would have left-
He smiles seating beside me -Well, here I am...-
-What's troubling you?-
-Ah... Many things...- he looks at the sky, the sun peeking through the stars creating a lilac and blue mixture -The Emperor died-
-I heard-
-Mhn- nods him -We live in a very unpleasant time...-
-Many Emperors died before, many wars occurred... What are you referring to Excatly?-
-Being in the middle of something you cannot change, beign a puppet in others' hands... A Pawn-
-Who said we cannot change it?-
He turns to look at me shocked -Are you talking about... The War?-
-I don't know... Are you?-
He smiles, looking defeated -You got me-
-Xu means Harmony, Lei means Uneven. A conflicting concept-
-This is the name I got given... I don't even recall the one my mother chose for me. Apparently my "father"... My Owner actually, he already saw into my heart when he rescued me and gave me this name-
-Were you young when this man rescued you?-
-It's... An unpleasant story. My family was part of a very whealty clan, when I was around 6 or something I found a wounded man and took him home to help him... Days after, my whole clan got slaughtered and that man risked his own life to rescue me and my little sister, he became our new father since then... Only years after I discovered the truth. My Clan was guilty toward him and that man came to punish us all... Somehow he took pity on us little children and spared us-
-So now you feel obligated to serve him, even if your will is divided-
-Mhm, Excatly-
-How old is your sister?-
-She was supposed to be 21, just like you... She was born on the first day of the last month-
-How unusual, we were born on the same day. But...-
-Mhn, yes, she's no more between us... She got killed by that man. He didn't took pity afterall, he simply wanted some loyal servants and when we become useless, he throws us away-
-I see in which position you are now-
-Mhn...- he nods looking away, the hands entangled togheter over his knees as he looks toward the lighter sky -Since when did you knew I was a spy?-
-Ah... Hahah- I lean forward with a smile -Actually I thought you were just a shy guy who went through a lot, at first... I began having doubts after you spilled on my training with Zhou, that time he got injured. I grew more and more suspicious with your every action, yet I couldn't figure you out as some of your answers didn't add up... I remember that time when something weird happened in the wood and you were worried, I wanted to come with you but instead of fighting back or use that at your vantage, you simply told me that it was dangerous to follow you. Or that time rumors began to spread about me, working undercover for the Enemy, mmhn... Probably around then I became sure that you were a spy-
-Well... I did crack my mask around those days, many doubts were clouding my mind. About what is right and what is not... I wouldn't obstacle you but I find myself in a difficult position-
-I understand, I do not bear any resentment toward you, don't worry-
-That's nice to hear... I might not be considered a complete sinner one day, when I will be dead- his expression sadden even more -A simple slave going against a goddess... What a traitor to our world uh? But maybe, even if it costs me my life, I will not harm you, it's not much but... I think I would be able to go in peace... To face my sister again. My whole existence has always been dark and sad, how i saw things or the resentment buried inside me.
But I see hope, for this world at least... You are the complete opposite of me. You stand on your own feet and fight, you have the power to help others and change the world... While I can only obey for my own miserable survival, while hating in my heart... But I'm tired of how pitiful and disgusting I am, I want to help you and atone for everything I've ever done-
I stand up, obscuring the almost risen sun from his eyes -I'm not a goddess, I honestly don't know what a deity is at the end of the day... Heavenly beings with cold hearts, they have so much power and yet they just watch as we die! Listen, i don't know how powerful I am nor how much I will become, but... After all of this comes to an end, I'll come and free you. So hold on untill then! It's a promise-
He looks at me with wide eyes, blinded by the gold sunlight -You...! Mhn, I'll wait- he nods with a smile