Yiqian Qingdai

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn't help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.
Firstly, what in the world is the "Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis" spell? And don't even get me started on the "Osteoporosis" spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like "Blood Burn," "Gradual Freeze," and "Mental Chaos." Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?
Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn't help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield "Doomstorm" and "Ice Age," swordsmen boast "Sword Rain: Homecoming" and "Wind-Cutter Slash," while archers showcase "Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars" and "Storm Arrow." Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named "Cancer Cell Proliferation," "T-Virus Infection," and "Rabies Outbreak."
In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, "Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!" 
Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, "Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don't know!" 
Even a boss character confesses, "Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!"


I'm a Pastor, what the hell is an Acute Gastroenteritis Outbreak Spell?!

"You kept telling Brother Jingqi not to suppress it..."


Zheng Cheng explained, "That's a feature of my acute gastroenteritis that exploded instantly after leveling up to LV3. It's called anal fissure."


"The longer you hold it in, the higher chance you have of getting an anal fissure..."


At this point, Bai Jingsheng exclaimed in astonishment, his eyes full of panic.


Li Jiao curiously asked, "Bai Jingsheng, what are you so surprised about?"


"It means your anus is torn..." Cai Shen whispered.


Li Jiao's face turned pale, then blushed. She glared at Cai Shen fiercely.


"It's just a small tear in the anus, what's so scary about that?" Li Zhen also asked curiously.


Bai Jingsheng suddenly said, "The pain from an anal fissure isn't something ordinary people can even imagine!"


"I had a friend once who had an anal fissure. Going to the bathroom would feel like he was passing shards of glass."


Chapter 80: Do I Have a Friend? The Rules Between the Aristocracy and the Commons!_2