pain..

Trigger warning:- Mentions of suicide and death .

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Patrick is sitting on a chair looking at the wring where two fighters are fighting a bloody battle ,he has seen this many times but the pain of seeing his brother covered in blood is always the same ,not wanting to look at the two people fighting anymore Patrick averts his gaze to a corner while being reminded of the past.

It has been 5 years of Lucas leaving this world , everything changed, once Evan heard the news of Lucas's death ,that day he got a panic attack and we had to go to hospital immediately it took 2 months for him to come back to his senses ,he left our home and started living alone in a villa locking himself in there for 3 years ,.....in the beginning of the 4th year he came out of his villa and started going out again.... sigh ....

But he didn't go out of house to let go and to move on but he went out so he can die,he tried to suicide many a times in these years but we saved him everytime but now we don't even know how long we can save him ,he has lost his willfulness to live the once naughty and lovely Evan is long gone now with Lucas ,what remains is his body ,which wants to stop breathing but can't ....

Bam ,a loud noise of something falling and people cheering came making Patrick to come out of his thoughts ,he looked at the wring and saw Evan had won the fight and was now lying motionless, Patrick immediately got up and went to him and helped him sit on the side, blood flowing from his mouth and nose.

Evan , it's time to stop all this please ,you are so hurt, Patrick said as he cried at the misery of his brother .

He hates me Patrick,he hates me ,today also he didn't let me die , Evan said with a bitter smile on his face tears flowing down his cheeks.

Evan please stop this , don't do it to yourself , Patrick begged.

I just have a little wish Patrick that i want to die but look at him not wanting to free me from this hellish life ,this is my punishment Patrick ,but i promise i will keep trying until the death comes to me ,i will keep trying . Evan said in a sorrowful tone.

Let's get out of here i am suffocating , Patrick said and helped Evan get up ,he wanted to take him to hospital but Evan didn't want it, he wanted to go home as soon as possible.

When they reached his villa Evan got out of car and was about to go in when he saw Patrick getting out of the car.

Why did you come out of the car , Evan asked wiping the blood off from his face as he was feeling a stinging pain.

Let me stay with you today ,you didn't want to go to hospital then it's okay but atleast let me bandage it for you , Patrick said while looking at Evan .

No need to i can manage on my own ,and this pain ,this pain gives me the feeling of how close i am to death so instead of hurting i want to savour this feeling as much as i can.Go home , Evan said and went into the house.

I hope you don't do anything that i will regret leaving you alone today Evan ,please don't try to die again , Patrick prayed and with a hurting heart he went from there.

Evan went inside the house and locked the door behind him making sure that no one could come inside not because their was something valuable in this house but because he didn't want a stranger to look at his Lucas's potrait .he doesn't like anyone even glancing at Lucas .

After closing the door Evan started walking to get to the last room of the villa.

Look Lucas it's another day of me being locked up in this coffin but isn't it irony you are under soil in a coffin sleeping forever but i have to get up everyday and roam around this coffin trying to figure out how i can die in a painful way ,but you know i am sinister and you hate me so much that you won't let me die .you could have given me the cruelest punishment by making me die in a horrible way but after all you are Lucas ,my omega so you chose for me to live rather then die as my punishment but i promise you soon i am going end this life of mine , Evn said talking to himself when he finally reached the room he wanted to go in .

He opened the door and smiled ,the walls of the room are covered with life size paintings of Lucas , sometimes smiling , sometimes just looking forward arrogently. wherever the eye falls in the room there are Lucas's paintings and photos.

Evan went near the painting and said ,you look as beautiful as ever love ,let me come to you today okay, Evan said and walked in the middle of the room where a chair is and above it a rope is hanging from the fan ,Evan smiled a last time and stood on the chair he tied the rope around his neck , standing on tiptoes.he said ,

See you soon love , don't be angry with me when i see you there okay ,i am sorry ,Evan said smiling ready to kick the chair he was standing on and freeing himself of all the pain ,when suddenly he saw a vision of Lucas in front of his eyes yelling.

Don't Evaaaan .

Evan stopped and stood there on the chair while the rope still ties around his neck ,when two sacred tears fell from his eyes.he got down the chair and cried loudly.

Why love ,why are not you letting me die ,do you hate me so much that you don't want me to come to you ,are you disgusted by me Lucas , i....i promise if you let me die and come to you i will not ask for you to hold my hand live the afterlife with me...i...i promise i will be your servant..i will just be happy by seeing you i will never annoy or came in you sight ,.....please baby let me die and see you from far afar i promise,please i beg you .... Evan begged crying his heart out and after crying like this for hours he finally fell asleep on the cold floor in the imaginative presence of Lucas .