Chapter 6

( Lucas ★ )- ( song for this chapter: another love ) 

 Right when Maria left and I picked Autumn up with one arm, he said: "Lucas can I tell you a big secret..but then you won't hate me right?". I said: "of course, I won't hate you, you are my adorable friend!". Autumn looked at me then at the floor then at me again and then said: " I can see the future and the past, just buy looking at someone's eyes for 5 seconds "…I was kind of surprised, could he actually see the future? Does he know about my past?… I said in a calm voice:" Wow… that's interesting …" ...."umm"….Autumn said after seeing me get awkward: "yes I also know about your past…..and future.. but you don't have to worry because I'll keep it a secret but…"... I said with a sad smile:" But what Autumn ?".. Autumn asked me: "Do you like Maria? " I was shocked by the question but I answered:" yes I do…why are you asking and..how did you get your superpower? ". Autumn hugged me and started crying and said: " a - ah a- a ..scary man put a needle in my arm then -then put me in a cold scary dark place…they ..they hurt me too…" . I was shocked but couldn't help but hug Autumn, he was just a child….he didn't deserve this... After what I heard I understood that some people did some kimchi experiments on poor Autumn …I said in a calming voice: "Heyyy shhh…it's okay baby… you are safe now with me and we will play with the cars together now as I promised you yesterday, okay ?". He looked at me and smiled ,a really sweet sad smile.

I took the cars I bought him yesterday and we started playing with him. We sat on the floor and after some moments Autumn closed his eyes like he was remembering something… after a while he then opened his eyes and said in a different tone: "do you like Maria ?.. I said: "yes of course I do, she is my girlfriend after all..why are you asking me again ?". Autumn looked at me with a really serious look and said: " Then we need to go to the coffee shop beside your school". Why I asked, he said quietly:" it's something important about Maria …if you don't see this now something really bad will happen..please trust me I'm not lying"… I was really confused. Is he telling the truth or just playing around? I decided to go along with this situation because nothing could go wrong if he was lying, right?

Autumn changed his clothes and we walked together to the coffee shop. A sense of fear filled my heart….I trusted Maria, what if she was actually cheating on me?.. right then I remembered the mark on her neck…I was getting more suspicious and started to expect the worst. I tried to have small conversations with Autumn, I asked: "Soooo you know about my past…right?". Autumn answered: "Yes...I know everything…you are a good person Lucas you don't deserve what going on"… I smiled at him but then…I saw Maria kissing the rich guy from our school …I felt betrayed and I hated myself and her…The worst-case scenario was true and happening in front of my eyes. I let go of Autumn's hands and started telling Maria how I felt…I started crying because of what I saw…. Maria the girl I imagined my whole life with, just broke me…I gave her my everything…..She was my everything, she was my best friend, my heart…I would give this girl my soul if she asked…. I knew I was treated unfairly by her but I still love her with all my heart…I started crying my heart out as I said how much I was hurt and felt betrayed...When she told me she was sorry I was already too broken to forgive her…and yesterday night was full of bad memories, I couldn't handle it anymore.. I started rubbing my chest...I had the worst pain in my heart and chest, I felt like I couldn't breathe... I had pain both emotionally and physically…I couldn't stand In front of her face...I wasn't as strong as I thought I was…I told her with all the emotions I felt " I hate you, Maria! I hate you so much right now!".

I ran away after what I said, completely forgetting that Autumn was there with this brat. I didn't know where to go...I just wanted to run to somewhere no one knows….I wanted to be alone..maybe it wasn't the best idea but... I didn't have anyone…..I'm all alone again…. But as a teenager now…Is my life always going to be by myself?….I thought I would never have friends ever…And never be loved…I got home, it was the only place I could be alone in... 

When I got home I ran to my bedroom and cried nonstop….everything was too much…I had my head on my knees and my arms around my head, I was trying to hug myself because I needed to calm down… right then a notification popped on my phone showing the same picture of me and my mom that I had on the laptop…I cried more because it reminded me of my boss when I was a child and of what my mother did to me. I felt like my boss was saying the same words to me again.." Stop being a child and be a man already " I don't know why I did this but…I took a cigarette and turned it on, after taking some sips I turned it off with my arm….it hurted me but it felt good…I felt like I deserved it…I usually just take 2 cigarettes…this time I took 5….all got turned off on my arms... I took a deep breath hardly…My body was shaking... I decided to sleep … maybe just maybe..I wouldn't wake up the next day…it wouldn't be any different, no one would care…

Right when I tried to sleep my phone called and it was Sally my classmate and seatmate in class, we had a project together which I totally forgot about. I answered in a cracking voice: " Hey Sally sorry I forgot about the project…sorry but I was busy with…family issues and many other things" …Sally answered in a worried voice and it melted my heart: "Are you okay…your voice is so sad, do you need help or anything I can come to your place it's not good to be alone if you're sad….I'll come okay?" .I didn't want her to come and see me like this, what if she was like Maria …I wasn't ready to see anyone these days... I said in a quiet voice: " Look.. I'm not ready to see anybody and I'm just stressed…..see you on Monday, okay Sally?".. Sally went quiet and then said: "Okay…take care of yourself ,okay? ". Bye, I said and ended the call. 

Weeks went by and I was still really depressed and heartbroken...I didn't go to school or think about anything else…just why Maria cheated on me and how much I missed my mother even that she hurted me as well ...I haven't had friends in my high school or elementary school..so no one really cared if I didn't go to the school.

I slept and slept all the week and didn't eat anything…whenever I woke up I burned my arm with a cigarette again and then went back to sleep …everything was dark in my eyes...

Naya♤