Chapter 12

( Maria ☼)

My week was horrible without any help with Autumn, I missed Lucas and his help….Autumn went in a quiet mood after the plate accident.. he didn't eat as much as he did before…I was frustrated and stressed most of the time. In school, I tried to get information from Sally about Lucas in my own way… I tried to fix my relationship with Autumn but .… it was harder than I thought…Autumn gave me a really scared look when I tried to hugged him…I missed my real relationship with Lucas…everyone I'm with now is fake and it hurts more that I know it… I know that they are fake…I know that they just see me as a gorgeous girl…Lucas saw me for me… I knew that it was too late to think about him… I knew it was my fault that he left me….I knew I broke his heart…but I still had feelings for him…Lucas was the only one who respected me and my feelings….he didn't just treat me as a pretty face … my boyfriend's treated me just like their toy that they could use however they wanted…. My usual work was at a supermarket but I didn't get enough money to pay the rent and buy food, at the same time to take care of Autumn so I had to sell my beauty to different boys in school ….we did everything a couple could do but I wasn't happy…I was really jealous of Sally because she had my man…. And she was loyal to him, her loyalty made me hate her more and more… I couldn't stay this loyal to anyone... no one stayed for me either … I wish someone would choose me… Even when I was younger everyone liked my younger sister more than me….she was loved and respected by everyone, and she had friends and a table full of gifts on her birthday… I just had a gift from my parents and my sister, no one cared about me until I met Lucas, he loved me with all his heart and then I broke him… my sister is a few months younger, and she is already engaged and a famous actress… I'm a no one…. I wish I could be naturally loved, like her…. My sister had the highest grade and the best behaviour in class, Unlike me who got worse grades not just in class but also in the whole school…. I hate her, what does she have that I don't?.. aren't I good enough for anyone?… Every time I think about this my eyes get teary and my heart gets heavy…. I wish I could get back with Lucas, well I couldn't…he is Sally's now. If I couldn't have him then even Sally can't.… I would make her live the hell in my heart… 

The next day in school I saw Sally sitting on a bench alone in the backyard, I decided to annoy her a little. I came closer and said: " Hey you, do you miss your psycho boyfriend?" I giggled as she gave me an angry look and said:" isn't that you that made him psycho?!" I was shocked by what she said but … I couldn't help but answer her so I said: " Maybe, but I'm sure that he is happy because he left you for a week, aww poor him soon he will be back and listen to your little annoying voice again". I laughed just to tease her more. Alex, one of my boyfriend's saw me when I was talking with Sally, he kissed me on the cheeks and said: " Hey m'lady" I giggled and blushed, I looked at Sally and said: " Now this is a real man, not your loser who is a cry baby, oops! Sorry, I forgot you couldn't get better than him". Sally stood up from the bench, looked at me with hatred in her eyes, and said: "At least I'm not a cheater like you!". My boyfriend punched her on the nose with all his strength, and after he punched her, her nose started bleeding and she fell to the ground. My boyfriend looked serious and angry and said: "No one tells m'lady a cheater ". I kissed his cheeks and giggled "Thank you, Bebe, but next time don't hurt anyone, she is not worth your time anyway ". We both laughed and walked away leaving Sally crying and her face covered in blood alone in the yard. To be honest, I felt bad because I didn't want to hurt her this badly, I felt guilty as well…

Next period I saw her with a case on her nose and a bandage around her wrist. I was pretty sure that she fell on her wrist so that was probably the reason why she had a bandage around her wrist. In class, the teacher told me and Sally that we were in the same group for a school project, both me and Sally knew this wouldn't be a peaceful and normal school project. The teacher told us to sit together in our groups, Sally sat next to me while looking at the floor and staying silent. Sally finally spoke and said: " look… if you want I can make the whole project just if you leave me and Lucas alone.." I was surprised but at the same time, it sounded like a good deal. I decided to accept the offer because I knew Sally would be too scared to even work with me and I didn't like group projects anymore. I said: "Okay but you have to promise you will put my name on it or I'll make your life and Lucas live hell!" Sally nodded and stayed silent. 

Whole the lesson I sat back and listened to music while Sally started working on our project, after a while it was time to go home. " Sally! You better do this project tomorrow or I'll make your life miserable !" I said angrily just to tease her. Sally nodded at me while holding her tears back. I didn't know the reason behind it but I was sure she was just being dramatic because I made her do the project but she offered me that so it couldn't be my fault.

One of my boyfriends drove me home and we were going to spend the night together, when we entered the house Autumn was already waiting for me, it had been almost a month since I found Autumn …our bond was good before the plate incident … our bond got colder each day…it was like 2 siblings who barely saw each other on holiday. When I entered with my boyfriend which was was Alex at the time. I saw Autumn sitting on the couch and watching TV. I saw that he already cleaned the house and did the laundry as I told him. My boyfriend on the other hand wanted us to be alone. I had to figure out a reason to get Autumn out of the house. I walked closer to the couch where Autumn was sitting, and said: "Can you go grocery shopping for mummy ?" Autumn looked at me with a weird smile and said: "Sure….". He stayed quiet, he looked at me again with an uncomfortable face before nodding and putting on his shoes.

When Autumn went outside it was time to be alone with Alex …I was uncomfortable around him because he was a player and I felt unsafe around him, unlike my other boyfriends.. Alex said with a smirk on his face: "Mummy huh?! Oh, wait! Is he your son from that crybaby Lucas?!". I giggled uncomfortably and said: "No he is not my biological son…..uhhh…. I-I found him". Alex smirked again and said: " you are such an angel for doing that "His words were smooth and melted my heart. " My angel come closer to me, your beauty is … different… I want to admire you closer ". His words got into me deeply, and the uncomfortable silence suddenly disappeared. He sat on the sofa beside me and started petting my hair, suddenly he pulled me closer to him, his body was warm and it made me relax more. He made me sit on his lap as he massaged my shoulders and kissed my neck leaving a marks. I giggled and blushed when he whispered: "Well princess… hope you are only mine because I might get jealous if not ". His voice and words made me feel like a bad person, Alex could have dated anyone in the school but he choose me. I felt sorry for every time I was with another guy. I promised myself that this was the guy I wanted, he was rich and gave me the princess treatment I dreamed of, and I could get whatever I wanted just with sweet words to him. Well…I could say he was my sugar daddy. But I had feelings for him as well, maybe not as strong as they were with Lucas but they were still there. I answered his question quietly: "Well…maybe I did but this was in the past darling, now I'm all yours". He kissed my lips, and when his lips touched mine I felt a spark, this spark was different…this spark was like a small firework. After this kiss, I felt like time froze for a moment, " Well m'lady what do you think about my kiss now, hope I'm better than your old boyfriend". He whispered in my ear and kissed my neck again. I said without any hesitation "Darling, you are better at anything you do than him, I was just playing around just like you do, but now we both belong to each other ". After a few minutes, Autumn came home with a bag full of groceries. I didn't expect him to come this early and Alex seemed angry and annoyed when he saw Autumn beside the door. Alex looked at me with an angry expression and said: "This was supposed to be our time alone, my angel should I deal with this little guy or do you think you could get him away? ". I was unsure of what I should do, my relationship with Autumn was already destroyed…I knew that I would destroy our relationship more but I had to get Autumn away…for my sake…I needed the money from Alex … I could say that I love Alex at the same time I was using him for money… Is this love? Maybe it wasn't… But I felt something with Alex… but… I felt the same way about Lucas… the difference between them was that Lucas gave me money and attention whenever I wanted and needed them…. I had to use my sweet words with Alex… with some perfume and make-up…. If I wasn't pretty I wouldn't even have my apartment. I took a deep breath and got up from the couch, I walked towards Autumn with an angry expression on my face. Autumn was looking at the floor scared and helpless…I felt my heart ache when I saw him scared of me this way… I wanted to yell at him but seeing him helpless and scared like this made me feel really guilty, I kneeled to his level and said in a calm voice: "Please go to your room and never leave it until I call you, okay? ". Autumn took a deep breath and said: " Stop controlling me! Just because You want to do whatever you want!, I'm tired of seeing those men come into our house and I just have to stay quiet in my room…. I'm tired of not being allowed to play or watch TV! I just want to be like other kids! …. A-and I'm scared of you! You always hit me just because I'm too annoying…. I'm sorry but… I can't anymore Mom…. I'm scared of you and the men you bring home"… His eyes turned light pink and he was holding back his tears. I felt really bad for what I did, maybe I wasn't responsible enough as I thought…. Right then I realised that Autumn had spoken about my boyfriend's in front of Alex. I slapped Autumn in the face with all the anger and embarrassment I felt.

 Autumn stood there as tears fell down his cheeks. I felt really guilty after what I did but it was too late to change anything… on the other hand, Alex picked up Autumn and kicked him to his room…something really annoyed Alex whenever he saw Autumn… after Alex kicked Autumn to his room he yelled at him " You FU##ING child stay quiet in your room and don't leave!". Autumn fell to the floor and sat in the corner of the room and started crying quietly. I felt really bad but I couldn't do anything, especially after when Alex said: "Lock the door! ", I nodded without knowing what to do or say, I locked the door and hugged Alex to calm him down . "Hey Bebe it's okay he is just an annoying child, just calm down, love " I said trying to calm him down and change his mood. We continued cuddling on the couch until he finally calmed down, when the right time came I finally asked him "Hey me amor, I need money and I think I have been a good girl to you, right ?". He answered: "Well, yes you had been a good little girl but this piece of shi! Pisses me off! ". I said with a flirty voice: " I know honey, I know. See I'm suffering with him so I need some extra money because I'm being a good girl to you and a nice mummy to him". He said while kissing my neck: " you're such an angel, my princess, all my money is yours". 

We spent the rest of the night cuddling, and in the middle of the night, we fell asleep in each other's arms. I could hear Autumn's voice as he cried all night…

Naya♤