Chapter Nine.

2016

As promised, when the day of the VMA'S come by, I was home. I was watching everything on my TV. I wasn't going to but I wanted to see my babies at the awards. I know Leigh and king killed it always but I just loved seeing them do it. I also wanted to hear Josh's reason for me having not escorted him.

"Vanessa couldn't make it because she's not well. She's been sick for a while. "Josh lied to the cameras. Pathetic, I thought to myself as I watched and stuffed my face a burger and fries.

The camera finally directed to my babies, Royalty as well but yah.

"Which artists are you excited to see perform today? "One of the reporters asked Royalty. God this girl had changed so much. She was the definition of money changes people. As I watched her talk I couldn't help but cringe.

"And you two? Do you think your father will get all the awards he was nominated for tonight? "The reporters asked King and Leigh.

"I think my dad deserves to win but all we can do is wait. "King answered making me smile. "My daddy's winning everything. "Leigh told the reporter making her chuckle. God knows I'd have been tempted to say no if they asked me that question. Anyway he should win...... If he wins he'll go on tour and I can finally rest my emotions.

The show went on. Artist after artist and I sat there watching like I knew them. I had nothing better to do. No friends to text. No family. Yo I didn't even have a series to watch or novel I was excited about. My life was a sad story.

As expected or rather as I thought, Josh was awarded three nominations. He looked so happy. He should be we worked for this.

"I don't even know where start...... I want to thank my fans first for believing in me.... Voting for me and always supporting me. "Josh said into the mic with his third award souvenir. "My greatest thanks however at to my girlfriend.... The mother of my beautiful children whose been with me throughout and whose supported me unconditionally...... I love you Vanessa. "Josh said into the mic making the whole crowd cheer on excitement and clap loudly.

Some bull. That son of a bitch was so plastic. Anyway.

I turned the TV off and headed to my bedroom. I wanted a warm bubble bath to just think and reflect.

Josh and the kids were only coming back two days from now.

After two days.

"Mummy! "Leigh yelled as she run up the stairs to me.

"Hey baby! "I responded in equal excitement. When Leigh got over to me I lifted her off the floor, span her around and gave her a hug. "I missed you so much. "I told her with a smile.

"I missed you too. "She replied with a big smile on her face. "I wish you came. "She added with a sad tone.

"You hand in all your gadgets!"Josh yelled at Royalty the minute they stepped into the house. Wonder what happened.

"I really don't even needs those stupid things when the whole freaking universe is laughing at me! "Royalty answered Josh rudely. I put Leigh down and just watched the father daughter drama.

"Mind your tone when your talking to me young lady! "Josh told Royalty. Young lady? What was this 1942? Young lady? Who the hell still says that.

"I need a dad right now but you're yelling at me over some stupid grades! "Royalty replied.

"You need me for what?...... What do you want me to do!.... Sue the internet!...... Everybody picks on everybody!...... Nothing makes you special and exceptional! "Josh yelled. Okay I needed the full story to all this. These riddles were causing a migraine.

"So encouraging...... You should literally be crowned father of the year. "Royalty said with a hint of sarcasm and rushed for the stairs. Eye contact with someone whose mad is so uncomfortable for them so I did I lot of it to Royalty.

"Mum! "King yelled when he finally walked into the house. Mum?....... What happened to mummy. King rushed up the stairs and gave me a hug. I didn't hesitate to ask him what happened with Royalty and Josh. King was little but he loved drama for sure. He explained everything so perfectly.

Royalty had bad grades. She always did but I don't know why Josh chose to be made this time around. Additionally, Royalty was being bashed on social media because of her hair choice on the red carpet. Josh's whole album was about black Beauty and she sent the wrong message all together when she went to those awards practically looking like a white girl. Anyway. The drama will die down eventually.

"Are you two hungry? "I asked my kids after the long stories of their trip. They told me they were hungry so I told them to wait in the kitchen for me. I had pajamas on. I didn't like messing my pajamas with kitchen madness.

As I looked for an outfit to wear I hummed one Beyonce song after the other. I knew Josh was in the room and since we weren't talking I didn't want to notice the awkward silence.

"Hey. "I heard Josh greet me when he walked into my closet. I ignored him and finally picked out what I was going to wear.

"Can you step out? "I asked Josh. He didn't step out. He had his whole figure in my business and he even closed the door getting us enclosed in the same space.

"Vanessa I've seen part of you. "Josh told me.

"I don't care Joshua...... I just want you away from me. I don't want to see your face or even hear your voice bro. "I told him.

"Did you watch the awards? "Josh went on to ask me.

"Yah I did. "I answered hoping he'd leave.

"So........ Uhm...... I know I'm not your favorite person right now but what did you think? Did I look nervous? "Josh asked me. Wow. Just wow. This had to be some joke.

"Leave...... Please. "I told him.

"Vanessa look.... "

"No no no...... I don't have to see anything or even answer to you. "I interrupted Josh. "You owe me all the space I can get. "I told him with tears in my eyes. "My kids are waiting I'm the kitchen and I've taken long enough here. "I told him.

"I'm so sorry. "Josh told me. Those words mean nothing now, especially when they came out of his mouth.

"Leave. "I told Josh again and this time he did.

I went to the kitchen with a heavy heart. I couldn't even look at King and Leigh because my eyes kept tearing up.

"Mummy..... What was the real reason you didn't come with us to the awards? "King asked me before he started eating.

"I just didn't feel like it. "King told me.

"Do you know that I can read now? "King told me making Leigh repeat what he said as well. He said this with a fixed tone so I didn't really know where we were getting with this.

"Er yes I do and that makes me super proud of you. "I told King.

"Daddy cheated..... That's what the comments were saying. "King told me.

"King...... You're father and I fixed that okay...... That happened in 2014...... Two years ago!..... What you read on social media isn't always true okay. I didn't want to go and that's that. "I told King trying my best not to yell.

"Why didn't you look excited to see him? "King asked me. God this child was testing me for sure.

"I thought you were excited to go? "Leigh added as she played with her food clearly not really knowing what she was saying.

"King..... Stop okay. "I told him."Is that why you sleep in another room?.... You're breaking up right? "King continued to ask.

"King. "

"I'm not a baby anymore and Royalty told me! "King yelled and stormed off to his room. He watches too many movies for sure. At six I could barely construct a sentence let alone question my mother about anything.

"We saw you crying that day. "Leigh told me. "It was after daddy yelled at you. "She continued.

"He wasn't yelling sweety.... It was an argument."I told Leigh trying to make the situation seem less worse on Josh's side.

"Okay........ I guess. "Leigh replied and continued playing with her food.

Before Josh and the kids flew to america, Josh and I had an argument or rather a heated conversation in which he did most of the yelling.

If the kids are feeling a certain way about their father it will make it easier to leave.

9:15pm

"I know you don't want to hear me talk but can you hear me out just for a minute? "Josh asked me. We were both sitting on our bed. Both of us at our ends and me on my phone.

"Please. "He added. I put my phone down to hear him out like he asked. This better be worth my time.

"I'm not going on tour anymore. "Josh told me making my eyes pop out. I expected some rusty ass apology not this.

"Why? "I asked, concerned. A part of me wanted him to leave because I didn't want him around but a part of me wanted him to go because this was his dream. To go on tours.... Travel the world and all that.

"I don't want to go anywhere when we are falling apart. "Josh told me. When he said that I had to active my acting skills. There was no way he wasn't going.

"Babe. "I said and crawled over to his end. "You and I are forever. We are not at the best terms but we can wait. Go for the tour and then you and I can fix things when you get back. "I told him.

"I don't know. "Josh replied.

"Go...... I'll be okay. In fact I'll have more time to really reflect. "I told him.

"How are you fine all of a sudden? Just a couple of days ago you told me that you were over our relationship.... That you'd leave and never come back. "Josh reminded me.

"I didn't mean it. "I told him.

"You did..... I looked right into your eyes and I saw the fury..... The hate. You hate me. "Josh told me. That comment hit different. Forget the acting and the pretence. That statement got me worried.

"I'd never hate you. "I told Josh with a calm tone.

"Why not?..... That's what has me so fucked up?... Vanessa I cheat I talk to you like shit..... I'm this fucking mess so why don't you hate me? "Josh asked me.

"We've gone through the worst and the best moments together....... I can't just forget that...... You're the father to my children and you'll never stop being this huge part of me no matter what happens between us. "I told me.

When I said that Josh kissed me. I think I just got played. Josh did this a lot. He acted fragile and sorry making me see this emotional side that got me feeling bad for him. Though I figured that out I let him kiss me. I knew this kiss. This was the Genesis to something that would result in maximum pleasure and satisfaction. Call me an idiot but I needed some of this.

I was at odds with Josh but as he went in and out of me I moaned out his name in pleasure and forgot just how big a dick he was.

Nothing felt better than make up sex.