A boy.
The color blue.
His eyes.
The emptiness.
I'm going to be sick.
"Rina? Can I get you anything?"
Currently vomiting so much she couldn't answer Ria had felt her stomach began to feel nauseous from the moment she found out. Fortunately she had managed to keep the discussions that preceded between her and her stomach inside until she got home, but all bets were off after that. Now her eyes were full of tears, mostly from heaving. With one hand holding her hair as the other gripped the rim of the toilet Ria flushed it for the third time. She couldn't help thinking she just wanted to drown her head in the receding vortex. All she had to do was just lean over a little farther and...
"I love you." Em's voice rang in her mind causing her hand to cover her mouth as her body racked with sobs and she leaned back on her heels.
"I'm sorry little one. Im sorry for my moment of weakness." She said in between sobs as the hand on the toilet came to rest on her belly.
"Rina? Please let me come in. Don't do this to yourself." Em's voice was soft and filled with concern devoid of all personal attachments to the situation.
Still resting on her heels, she unrolled some toilet paper and blew her nose before shifting to the left and unlocking the door so Em could open it slowly and kneel next to her as the back of his hand brushed her cheek.
"Talk to me, though maybe not in the bathroom. It lacks a certain "it's a boy!" between the smell of binge vomiting and the balls of one night stand tissues that are all over the floor."
Clicking her tongue Ria hit him with the back of her hand before smiling slightly. "You are such an ass."
"It got you to quasi smile though so...". Then he stood and pulled her up gently with him. "You are going to need to rely on me more and not bottle your feelings up inside all the time trying to be Ms. Independent Pain in the Ass." He smiled and winked at her as she give him the equivalent of the not amused emoji face.
Once he was sure she could walk without getting ill, he wrapped an arm gently around her waist and lead her to the couch. Laying down on his back, he carefully pulled her into the crack between him and the back of the couch just like he did that first time they were intimate.
The first time.
They were innocent.
They knew no evil.
They heard no music, but what they had created as their hearts and bodies told the story of their love.As Em's hand ran down her side, flashes of their first and last night with Cú flashed across her conscious causing her to dig into Em's chest as a strangled wail fought to escape. Gripping her tightly he made it almost hard to breathe which amazingly enough brought her back to reality.
"I can't erase him and I won't replace him, but I will help you move past him." Em began stroking her hair and body slowly until Ria began to relax.
Em, since moving in, had always been a source of calm and stability. No matter what happened, his hugs were always the most secure, his logic always sound, and his sincerity always reassuring. Thinking back, as she had a million times, he had been what had gotten her through the last chunk of her life as she denied love time and time again. Even when she had accepted him, she had denied the depth of his love. She had been so cruel and selfish, lying to both of them, not in her feelings but in not giving him all she had to offer. He hadn't deserved her emotional seconds, yet he had taken them and held her up until she could stand on her own. Squeezing him and breathed him in deeply she knew she couldn't keep making that mistake going forward. She had to let go so she could let him completely in.
"Not until you are ready love. We have all the time in the world."
That's when it hit her and her body went rigid before she leaned up quickly and looked into his eyes.
"Em what if he is human and isn't...what if we watch him die?"
Em's eyes never left hers as he breathed deeply. "He isn't even here yet. Why don't we worry about that when he is born. Take it one day at a time." He took her chin then and led her into a sweet kiss. As their lips touched and her body melted, she realized he was right. She couldn't control what she couldn't control. All she could do now was bring him into the world heathy and happy. Everything else would just have to wait. Kissing a while longer, lingering in the innocence they could steal before their worlds were no longer theirs to do with as they pleased they eventually pulled apart and Ria leaned her head on his chest he asked, "Have you decided how to decorate his room yet?"
Em laughed as he felt her pout.
"Don't laugh! I was hoping maybe he would give me some clue's somehow!"
"You are too cute you know that? Why don't we go tomorrow and look at furniture and such. It will be a good chance to reconnect, just like that time we went shopping and you forced all those awful clothes on me."
Ria scoffed and he laughed again.
"You make it so easy to tease you."
"And you enjoy teasing me way too much!" She pinched him and he faked being in mortal pain.
"It's when I don't tease you that you should be worried."
"Is that so." She raises an eyebrow and looked at him judgmentally.
"It's true. I don't tease people I don't like."
That's when her stomach grumbled.
"Speaking of like, what does he want to eat?"
She stuck out her tongue before pondering a few ideas.
"Anything light that involves chicken and tater tots."
"Not the worst combination thank god. He might just survive through adulthood."
Ria smiled and shrugged. "He wants what he wants."
"Sounds like someone else I know." Then Em poked her cheek.
They had a long way to go, but they were slowly getting there. They may have all the time in the world, but could they still create new memories or would they forever borrow from the lives they lost as a way to cope?