tanor

The Swirl of the Root, also known as the Root, the Akashic Records, or occasionally, Heaven, record, and source all events and phenomena in the universe.

Many seek it. Very few reach it.

To reach it is a one-way trip. Annihilation or Apotheosis? From a moral perspective, there is no difference.

And there are those who fail or flinch at the last moment.

They are called Sorcerers and are given great power.

But such power is not easy to master.

One can get lost.

Wandering in strange places with only a sword for company.

Is a "sword" a euphuism? (BL)

Experience the Future of Bathroom Technology with the Aperture Throne: Where Science Meets Comfort

Welcome, esteemed users of bathrooms everywhere! Have you ever dreamed of a world where the royal treatment isn't just for kings and queens but is also available right in your own home? Aperture Science proudly presents the Aperture Throne—the automated toilet that's not just smart, it's Aperture smart!

Superior Design and Functionality

With its futuristic design and cutting-edge technology, you won't just sit—you'll reign. Say farewell to the antiquated rituals of yesteryear's bathrooms and embrace a pinnacle of personal hygiene. Our robotic appendages—engineered for precision and comfort—handle all the details, ensuring a level of cleanliness that was previously the stuff of science fiction.

Intelligent Features

Why fumble with levers or buttons when our robotic arms are programmed for perfection? Our state-of-the-art sensors evaluate your needs in real-time, adjusting water temperature and pressure to your exact preferences. No more unpleasant surprises, just a perfectly customized experience every single time.

A Throne That Knows You

The Aperture Throne isn't just any toilet; it's a confidant. Integrated AI technology offers motivational messages and personalized encouragement when you need it most. After all, who doesn't need a little pep talk now and then?

Quality Assurance

At Aperture, we don't believe in recalls. In the unlikely event of a malfunction, simply continue usage while we pinpoint the issue. And remember, if you're not satisfied, it's likely a problem with your standards, not our product. But don't just take our word for it—experience the revolution for yourself!

So, if you're in search of a bathroom experience that's light-years ahead, your throne awaits at Aperture Science. We guarantee you'll never want to go back to ordinary toilets. And if you do, well, we promise not to judge you—much.

Come down to Aperture Science and take your seat in the future. Your throne awaits!

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