Introduction

2016

'JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA'

'MIDDLE OF NOWHERE'

(THE WAREHOUSE)

As I walked down the damp passage, I held my dress up a little by it's sides to prevent it from dragging along the dirty floor. I had heels on and my dress wasn't even that long but the thought of this beautiful piece brushing against the disgusting floor made me sick. I wanted to be careful. I had on a black gown with a flare at its bottom, long sleeves and a strapped back. The passage of the warehouse reeked. I thought I'd be used to the awful smell by now but I clearly wasnt.

"Hi Sindiswa!"

I greeted my sister with excitement. Sindiswa was at the time sitting in her chair. She was always tired up when I visited but with todays sedation, I was generous enough to let her sit freely. I sat down opposite her on the cleanest chair I picked out from the bunch in the warehouse. When I was all settled down, sitting with one leg over the other, I looked at my sister. Sindiswa seemed to be in a trance of terror. Her eyes were wide, fixed to the ground, blinking slowly. She was hugging herself with a slight shiver in her upper body, with heavy yet slow breathing. You'd think it were cold in the room but it was quite hot if you ask me.

"The injection was mild sis. I think you're doing a little too much." I told my sister.

Sindiswa looked even worse now that I had my eyes on her for a good ten minutes.

"Anyway... I came to tell you about a funeral...... the funeral........It was anticipated so.........Uhm... I'm grieving the loss of a sibling or rather my family is grieving." I corrected. "I lost a sister." I continued.

Sindiswa struggled to look up at me but eventually she had her wide eyes looking me right in my eyes.

"My family and I are putting to rest the late Sindiswa Ntuli."

Sindiswa's eyes never left mine. I watched her every expression. I watched her eyes fill with tears and her nose mucus. It was a pitiful sight.

"It's an empty casket though....... we had been searching and searching for my sister but luck was never on our side or hers........clearly, cause you're still here........That's not the worst part anyway.......My heart is aching for the little girl she left behind you know... Nelisiwe... or Siwe, like she prefers to be called.........She's only two years old.......she's so young and vulnerable to harm." I went on with so many pauses to stir up the effect I needed from Sindiswa.

Sindiswa was trying to fight her fury. It was sad to watch. She could barely control her eye movements, let alone try to fight me like she desired. Her daughter was her weakness..... that's why I brought her up. Nelisiwe was fine and she'll always be, but it was fun to see Sindiswa furious.

"Anyway.......I'm eighteen now so I'll take care of my niece....I already started the paper work, it's just my age thats derailed the whole process....mama and Gogo are against the adoption but at least Dad and Belelani are on my side. I may be eighteen physically but I feel twenty-three and act at least twenty-five and everyone knows it not only at home but everywhere.....You and I both know I'll be a better mother for Siwe anyway...and since her father is a no show. I'll be both her parents. Oh! She already started calling me mummy.. I thought it would be weird but I surprisingly love it that's one thing you've given me that I love....motherhood." I rambled with excitement.

After a while, I paused. Sindiswa was doing too much. She started making these noises. Grunting, growling. I guess she wasn't taking the news as great as I thought or expected her to. I didn't even get to the worst part yet.

I called Luthando (caretaker) out when Sindiswa's face was covered with tears, mucus and saliva. She looked so disgusting. She was a grown woman. Twenty-five years old. Her age made this tantrum worse honestly. I think she wet herself too, because I could smell a stench and I knew it was urine. Story of my life.

When Luthando walked into the room I left. I took pleasure in watching my sister suffer... but I had a service to attend.

My warehouse visit was the worst first impression and probably confusing too, but with time I promise you'll see that I'm actually an angel. Okay maybe not an angel but a good person.